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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.85%
That he will re-offend 245 25.39%
That he will get hurt in prison 278 28.81%
Other 289 29.95%
Voters: 965. You may not vote on this poll

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  #126  
Old 11-07-2009, 04:22 AM
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I always worry that he'll get sick or hurt, and with the medical care they provide (which is next to nothing)....completely unsterile conditions.
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  #127  
Old 11-07-2009, 11:28 PM
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I'm worried that I'll lose my friends when I tell them that I'm still seeing him, that I'm stupidly in love with him, and that he's going to live with me when he gets out. That would leave me with only him to count on, so when he decides to go, there will be no one for me to turn to.

I hate trying to be a grownup and sucking at it .
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  #128  
Old 11-08-2009, 04:37 AM
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i voted other... my babe finished his time but had a immigration hold sooooo ofcourse im scared!!! i cant leave the country cuz my son (my babe isnt his dad and my sons dad refuses to sign my sons passport) now we're just waiting on court with ICE ... wish me luck :\
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  #129  
Old 11-08-2009, 06:57 PM
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My man is serving a 0-5 year sentence in Utah State Prison.
My biggest fear is that while i stay faithful to him through the whole sentence that when he gets out he wont be faithful to me....

Scares the shit outta me....
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  #130  
Old 12-08-2009, 09:31 PM
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My biggest fear is that we will lose the substance of what we once had prior to his incarceration. (It was simply beautiful)... I constantly worry that distance and lack of presence will take a serious toll on our relationship. Although we've managed to make the best of things thus far (3yrs). I still can't help but worry, I'm afraid of what the future holds for us. Sometimes it's just so frightening, it seriously worries the hell out me!!!

I don't want to lose my battle 2 the "system"...
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  #131  
Old 12-08-2009, 09:56 PM
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That when its all said and done we won't be together (for whatever reason)...that's my fear...
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  #132  
Old 12-08-2009, 10:10 PM
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MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT HE WILL DO SOMETHING DUMB TO GET HIMSELF RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN. I AM SCARED THAT THE RESPONCEABILITYS ON THE OUTSIDE ARE GOING TO BE VERY SRESSFUL AND HARD ON HIM. AFTER BEING LOCKED UP FOR 8 YEARS HAVING ONLY HIMSELF TO BE RESPONCABLE FOR HE IS GOING TO BE COMMING HOME TO 2 KIDS, BILLS, AND ALL THE OTHER HOUSEHOLD SHIT. I JUST HOPE IT DOESN'T MAKE HIM STRESSED AND WANNA GO HANG WITH HIS OLD HOMIES AND USE OR NYTHING STUPID LIKE THAT.


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  #133  
Old 12-08-2009, 10:11 PM
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I answered "other" because my biggest fear, by far, is that he will relapse when he gets out. I don't have to worry about him re-offending if he's clean. If he does use, he doesn't commit crimes, and he doesn't go to jail, plain and simple.
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  #134  
Old 12-09-2009, 04:27 PM
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I don't worry about him reoffending, I know he won't do anything to risk having to go back. I do worry occassionally that he'll come home and realize life with two kids isn't the carefree life he had before he went in and he'll jet, but I don't honestly think that will happen so I dismiss it. I am afraid that something will happen before he comes home and he'll end up seriously injured or worse and I'll lose him. He has suffered some serious injuries in there, I think one of the worst ones was when he was stabbed with an ice pick in his side and he just walked across the grounds to the phone, called me and said 'baby I'm going to be in the infermary for a while once they pull this pick out of me' like he was telling me he had done his laundry that day. I don't do helpless well and knowing that there are so many things that can go wrong there makes me a bit... no a LOT uneasy.
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  #135  
Old 12-09-2009, 10:35 PM
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the only thing im worried about truthfully is him getting hurt in prison
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  #136  
Old 12-10-2009, 07:43 PM
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i voted other. My BIGGEST fear is that he wont get this false conviction off his head and we may be very old by the time he comes home and my second fear is that he will get hurt or worse in prison. since he wont clique up he is pressured by gangs to join and I am extremely proud that he hasn't given into the peer pressure and he still stands his ground with whomever tries their hand. I have some concern about when he comes home but not about our relationship, I think he can be a little unrealistic about how hard it is gonna be to start over with everything.
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  #137  
Old 12-10-2009, 08:57 PM
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While I worry about the reoffending and the getting hurt in prison. My hubby knows how to handle himself, and honestly if I think to much about it Ill go insane. The reoffending, that is all on him, if he can't keep himself stright it would kill me but thats all on him.

What worrys me most, I picked other, is how he will be when he gets out. He got a total of 9 years and has to do 85% of that unless VA changes thier laws (crossfingers). I worry about him becoming instutionalized. And how he will adjust when he gets to come home, especially since he will be re-enter the world, after that much time out of it.
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  #138  
Old 12-11-2009, 12:09 PM
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I worry about my husband violating parole. NOT because I think he will do something on purpose to violate..but because CA is such a mess when it comes to parole violations. This state violates a person for ANYTHING...so that worries me greatly.
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  #139  
Old 12-11-2009, 12:42 PM
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I have several fears!!! All of them big and consume my thoughts constantly!! I worry that he won't come home! I worry that he will be hurt! I worry that despite our best efforts that we might not make it!
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  #140  
Old 12-11-2009, 01:06 PM
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My biggest fear and only fear is that all the plains we have plained don't happen. That everything just falls apart. Not that he re offend but that after this long haul we find out that we have out grown each other. Am afraid that we can't have a normal with out the walls. That all this closness we share all that we have been through will not make any since. My fear is that we are not REAL!!!!! That it's all a dream. My husband and I have been married for 19 years and since he has been down we are so close and so open my fear will be that it will all change when he comes home and we want be able to talk and he want be able to listen are want to listen. And the funny thing is I can't have him any other way. Becuz I felled back in love with him while he was in prison. I remember the reason why I loved him.
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  #141  
Old 12-12-2009, 08:38 PM
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i fear that i will wait and wait and he will come out without any positive changes and we will end up walking away from each other. It scares me to think about the person that he has to be in there and I dont want him to stop being my baby.
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  #142  
Old 12-13-2009, 02:47 AM
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My biggest fear is all of the above including other. I think it's hard to fully trust any of it when at the moment he can't trust it himself. Things are often easier said than done and my husband has not had to do any of this stuff ever. He has been incarcerated since he was 13 on and off (mostly on). Last year he came home on parole for 6wks and then commited another crime. I stand by him not knowing what the end result might be and not caring either. If nothing else I will always know I gave him the gift of love.

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  #143  
Old 12-13-2009, 02:52 AM
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My man is DR so my biggest fear every year is that he won't see the next one. I hate that the state could take him away in one command.
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  #144  
Old 12-13-2009, 07:05 PM
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Everything.... I fear it all. It is first experience with all of this and hopefully my last. I am afraid for him, for me and for US!
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  #145  
Old 12-14-2009, 01:36 AM
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mine was other. Because my greatest fear is not wanting me once he gets out.....
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  #146  
Old 12-14-2009, 05:42 PM
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My biggest fear is that our relationship will change when he gets out and he will realize that he wants something different. I mean, there is nothing that I could do about it but it would hurt me because I would have wasted all of this time holding him down and then he gets out and be like "f**k you". I might end up catching a case then. LOL
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  #147  
Old 12-15-2009, 09:45 AM
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My husband has two strikes and years to go so my biggest fear is that he will catch his 3rd before he is released and not be able to come home.
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  #148  
Old 12-16-2009, 12:36 AM
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That he will come home & slip right back into his old ways.
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  #149  
Old 12-20-2009, 08:56 PM
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im afraid that he will not only cheat on me but he will not get a job be running the streets again and not be able to handle the life living in bklyn. i love him and wanna see him do good for himself and unharmed of couse.
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  #150  
Old 12-21-2009, 11:40 AM
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I worry about all the other things , that he will get hurt, that he will re-offend, etc. but by far my biggest fear is that he will think I don't want him, 'cuz I can't have contact with him, and that he will emotionally "move on" so that when I can have contact he won't want me 'cuz he thinks I've abandoned him.
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