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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.79%
That he will re-offend 245 25.28%
That he will get hurt in prison 280 28.90%
Other 291 30.03%
Voters: 969. You may not vote on this poll

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  #226  
Old 12-10-2013, 07:36 PM
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I voted for "other." I'm most concerned with money since it could be possible that he would have difficulty getting a job.
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Old 12-15-2013, 04:19 PM
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My concern is for him to get sick and not get the care he needs. So many will colds, flu, etc.
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  #228  
Old 12-18-2013, 05:27 AM
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I am fortunate because I married my soul mate so I have no fears of cheating, or growing apart. With that said, I do worry about him getting hurt even though he is more then capable of taking care of himself i can't help but worry. I do not fear him re-offending but I am concerned with the possibility of getting in trouble on a technicality and being ripped away from me again. I guess if you boil it all down to the bare bones I am petrified of the unknown. The fear that has haunted me from the first night I had to sleep alone. It has been 13 months he has been gone and I still find myself tasting the familiar taste of salty tears as they roll down my face every night. I hope my fears turn out to be silly notions in a worry wort's mind.
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  #229  
Old 12-20-2013, 09:13 PM
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Im scared that he will go back to the way he was before he went in.
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  #230  
Old 12-20-2013, 11:05 PM
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My biggest fear is that he will get bored or tired of me and leave once he gets out. He's use to the streets and women who run them as well. I am, for lack of a better word, a goody two shoes. He says he loves my innocence and says he needs that in his life. He says that he had changed and while I believe he has, I can't help but wonder if it's enough of a change. My fear comes from past hurts and he has done nothing but reassure me he's not going anywhere so all I can do is pray.
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  #231  
Old 12-23-2013, 06:45 PM
Mrs.Cardena09 Mrs.Cardena09 is offline
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My biggest fear is if he has to stay in for 10 years when he comes out, after not being around eachother for so many years only keeping in contact thro emails phone calls letters and sometimes visits, will I still be in love with him and want to continue a relationship and will he still be madly in love with me..
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  #232  
Old 12-24-2013, 04:54 PM
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I have to admit I'm afraid of him going back. I only want to do this once. He says this is it, but I don't know... it scares me to finally get him back and then to lose him all over again.
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  #233  
Old 01-05-2014, 03:20 PM
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My biggest fear would be him having any major health issue, and the treatment or lack of that he would receive.
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  #234  
Old 02-08-2014, 10:47 AM
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I don't know if my man has fully changed he went to prison for four years when he was 22 but I wasn't with him then... he then stole from his mother to get to me she pressed charges against him and they extradited him all the way back to where she is in Montana and he is now sitting in the county jail and hasn't been out of prison a yr fully im so scared what they are going to face him with... and he told me that prison made him worse other inmates taught him way more things then he knew before going in... its hard for someone to adjust to a new lifestyle all you ladies need to be there for your man and husband and guide him through it because my man didn't have anyone there for him when he got out and when we met he still was doing dumb things and then he went to his moms to get away and he stole from her to get to me and she pressed charges on him and now we are in this big mess and ive never went through this before and my love for him in unexplainable nothing ive had before and I will not let him stand alone through this
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  #235  
Old 02-08-2014, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J&D7 View Post
I know theres been a lot that I worry about. But for me, the thing I'm most scared of is not even whether my bf will do something stupid again coz I dont worry about that.. but its the thought of losing him when this is all over. I still have that little insecure thought at the back of my mind even though he's never done anything to warrant it.

Oh and I voted for "other" ..
I think that it is only human nature to contain some fear regarding him "leaving" once he is released. As confident as I am in myself as well as our relationship, sometimes I wonder also. Simply because he has been in for almost 11 years and we have been a couple officially for almost 3. though we have had the friendship for years and before he went in, it still (to me), only human to wonder at times, if when he comes home, will I be who he wants o spend the rest of his life with. Usually when I get those thoughts, I laugh them off and say "Maria, that man loves you, stop your sh*t!" and i truly believe that in my heart, but again, we are only human, thoughts such as these are bound to enter our minds/thought process every now and again....don't let it get u down though!
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  #236  
Old 02-13-2014, 06:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike'sWife517 View Post
I think that it is only human nature to contain some fear regarding him "leaving" once he is released. As confident as I am in myself as well as our relationship, sometimes I wonder also. Simply because he has been in for almost 11 years and we have been a couple officially for almost 3. though we have had the friendship for years and before he went in, it still (to me), only human to wonder at times, if when he comes home, will I be who he wants o spend the rest of his life with. Usually when I get those thoughts, I laugh them off and say "Maria, that man loves you, stop your sh*t!" and i truly believe that in my heart, but again, we are only human, thoughts such as these are bound to enter our minds/thought process every now and again....don't let it get u down though!
I feel the same way.I have no doubt that he loves me and i'm not worried about him cheating on me. While we had a brief fling in our teens, we didnt get together as adults until after he started his bid. My fear is that when he comes home we may not be compatible or at least he might not think so. Letters, phone calls and brief visits are one thing, being together on the outside is another. He is from the streets and I am not. He says thats one of the things he loves about me, that I'm the type of woman he wants and needs. I have no doubt that he means what he says and I am in no way insecure about our relationship. I guess my fear is ultimately that he may come home and discover he wants something else.
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  #237  
Old 02-17-2014, 08:11 PM
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What I am worried about is that he might end up fighting the wrong person in jail because my baby inpatient and being in there hates being in there so if he gets 5 yrs he will go crazy /fight someone but what if something goes seriously wrong and he gets hurt. I am also worried that everything he says to me or writes me while he is in there even the card and amazing pictures might be just to keep me around while he is in there so he aint so alone. that worries me because I do love him and if that was true it would kill me.

Last edited by Shortiee^.^; 02-17-2014 at 08:12 PM..
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  #238  
Old 02-21-2014, 07:01 AM
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I am most worried about if we can be together when he gets out cause I am from Europe.. And if we can't where he would live cause he hasn't got any family outside..
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  #239  
Old 04-15-2014, 03:27 AM
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Default So in love

My husband is victor gillis he's in schuylkill. I try not to think negative but i'm human so this will happen. I know some guys do promise and then mess up on the only ones who habe been there for them. Just leave it in gods hands and wait. I wish everyone the best.of luck
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  #240  
Old 04-16-2014, 01:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angel12569 View Post
My biggest fear is he will reoffend, not that he loves prison, he hates it with all his heart and soul, and swears he would rather be home with his family, and I believe him. But I know being an addict is a disease and its a battle he will have to deal with everyday. I know I have faith mostly that he will stay clean, but I am also preparing my heart and mind for the worst.
Same thing for me. He's be in prison a good bit, so I'm not worried he won't adjust to life on the outside, he's already not adjusted so to speak. I'm not afraid he'll get hurt too much, because the truth is prison is what he's good at. It's the place he knows exactly what to do and how to act. I worry that i will wait, he will get out we will be happy for a year or 2 and then bam! Back to the drugs. Surely after all these vacations he's learned his lesson. This is the first time he had any sort of life outside of prison. Before he would be homeless eating out of dumpsters sleeping in the streets, nobody to care, and nobody to care for. But the last time he got out he decided to get clean, stay clean and be with me since he now felt he was fit. We were in love years ago and life got in the way, when he should have asked for my help he stupidly tried to hide his shame with more drugs, but he finally cleaned up, felt worthy and came back to us, only to fall short again, but this time he says prison feels like prison because he had what he wanted and lost it, where as the other times prison want fun, but was technically better than what he was doing. So prison is punishment this time. Hopefully one he learns from.
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  #241  
Old 04-16-2014, 07:46 PM
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my fear is a combo of things. first of all would be his health/hes under 40 and had two heart attacks few years ago already. and his safety in general, he is not a big guy and i of course fear him being physically assaulted/hurt. those are the two main big fears for me right there.
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  #242  
Old 04-17-2014, 11:08 PM
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I voted other meaning that I am afraid of him relapsing. The fast money lifestyle is VERY tempting especially if he has no support system or a way of staying on the straight and narrow. But I will most definitely be the one to encourage him to stay straight and help him as a wife should. I didn't give up on him when he went in so I'm not about to start now. He is my heart and I would do anything for him but he knows this is it for me.
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  #243  
Old 04-18-2014, 10:15 PM
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We aren't together, but he was my first love and we have recently reconnected after 20 years. This is his second bid and is doing 18.5 of a 32 year sentence. He has a long time to do on parole after release in 2019. I'm worried that he will do something on parole and wind up back in prison for life.
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  #244  
Old 04-19-2014, 07:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missnu01 View Post
Same thing for me. He's be in prison a good bit, so I'm not worried he won't adjust to life on the outside, he's already not adjusted so to speak. I'm not afraid he'll get hurt too much, because the truth is prison is what he's good at. It's the place he knows exactly what to do and how to act. I worry that i will wait, he will get out we will be happy for a year or 2 and then bam! Back to the drugs. Surely after all these vacations he's learned his lesson. This is the first time he had any sort of life outside of prison. Before he would be homeless eating out of dumpsters sleeping in the streets, nobody to care, and nobody to care for. But the last time he got out he decided to get clean, stay clean and be with me since he now felt he was fit. We were in love years ago and life got in the way, when he should have asked for my help he stupidly tried to hide his shame with more drugs, but he finally cleaned up, felt worthy and came back to us, only to fall short again, but this time he says prison feels like prison because he had what he wanted and lost it, where as the other times prison want fun, but was technically better than what he was doing. So prison is punishment this time. Hopefully one he learns from.
My fears are pretty much the same as urs. My man also has been in & out of prison. He knows the life inside & how 2 survie better locked up than I think he did out in the world. The difference this time for him is our relationship. He has never had anyone by his side while he had been locked up. Not even family. He has always done his time on his own & came right bck out to the same Ppl & shit. I've been right there for him from day one. I know he loves me & he is ready to have what he never has had r what he had for a short time but gave up for drugs years ago. A home & true family. But it still doesn't stop me sometimes from being afraid of him either going bck once he's home, something happening 2 him while in there, r him just leaving once out. Then the thought of just something happening period to take him away from me scares the hell out of me. Alot of the fear of losing him comes from past issues & I know that & so does he. Just wish I could figure out how 2 ease up these fears some at least.
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  #245  
Old 04-19-2014, 03:44 PM
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biggest fear is him not coming home
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  #246  
Old 04-19-2014, 06:36 PM
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My biggest fear....all the things he will miss out on with the kids if he receives a lengthy sentence..
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  #247  
Old 04-23-2014, 08:46 PM
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Default I agree, mine got his religion in JAIL

Quote:
Originally Posted by VanessaFigueroa View Post
I feel the same way... I only hope he continues his relationship with God.
I believe his Faith is Real. I have always had Faith in my life. He got his in Prison. He's been there for 12 yrs. He could get out any time from now and the next 24 months. He's going to a TC center. I pray he adjusts as he goes thru that program, and I pray for God to give him the strength to stay strong in his FAITH!
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  #248  
Old 06-27-2014, 03:04 PM
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Default my fear

I worry that he wont be the same when he gets home. I'm afraid he will be emotionless, or just cold. I don't want all of this to harden his heart.
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  #249  
Old 06-28-2014, 11:43 AM
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Out of all of these I would rather he re-offend than got severely hurt in any way but my biggest fear is him coming out to me and nothing will have changed.
I know he can look after himself on the inside. My man is a true alpha male. Not the kind who gets into fights or talks big, he's the kind that will stand his ground and not back down but also has understanding for other people and is always kind. People always respect him so because of that I'm not really afraid of him getting hurt. But he was going through a very hard time before he got locked up and I worry that he will end up right back there again. I want him to be happy and have a good life and I worry that coming back out and trying to put his life together will be too difficult for him and he will end up slipping back into depression and thinking he has no other choice.
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  #250  
Old 06-29-2014, 09:34 AM
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That he won't ever get out...
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