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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #2551  
Old 06-12-2017, 09:07 PM
Jcarey Jcarey is offline
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I had a friend in prison and my boyfriend was his "bunk-mate". I knew he existed for about a year before I acknowledged his occasional hellos through my friend's letters. In October I sent him a belated birthday hello and that's how we got started with the daily letters. I set up a landline to be able to talk to him in early December 2016 and met through glass a week later. Been together ever since......he will be out on parole in Sep-Oct this year. Can't wait!!!!!
I'm in Dallas, which prison is your man in? Mine is in Pollock and i'd love to have someone ride with me when i visit
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  #2552  
Old 07-08-2017, 12:38 AM
Misshimford Misshimford is offline
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Hi! Patty

I hope things work out for you. One thing for sure he'll know that he found true love when he looks in your eyes. All you can do is pray and keep hope alive, and block out what others say. Try looking at it as he's away in the army.

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Hi my name is Patty and I originally met my man during the Summer of 2003 via a misdialed call from County jail. We hit it off and began writing and talking on the phone and in December of that year I came face to face with him in a crowded visiting room.

We did 14 months together before his release. Things were great when he came home although the conditions of parole and lack of employment opportunities became a burden very quickly. In January 2006, 16 months after his release he went back to prison and will max out and I find myself waiting again in this next chapter of our lives...

It is often said that these types of relationships don't stand much of a chance. I have to say I've never been fond of being a statistic so perhaps that is why I try harder, not to mention the fact that he is worth it. I could go on and on but I'm gonna give others a chance to introduce themselves. I look forward to getting to know everyone who "Met While Incarcerated".

All the best,
Patty
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  #2553  
Old 07-11-2017, 11:11 AM
Magnoliapsych78 Magnoliapsych78 is offline
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Hi everyone! I am new to these forums and this is my first post.

I met my boyfriend on a dating website. He clicked on "Meet Me," I saw him pop up on my screen and his blue eyes drew me in. I sent a hello, he responded immediately. He was honest from the beginning about where he was and why. But we clicked quickly and I have never had easier flowing conversations with anyone like I do with him.

He gets out in February 2018. He is moving in with me and I can't wait to see where life takes us. We are both from Mississippi, which is where we will live first. As soon as we can, we are moving to Washington though.

Good luck to all of you who met your special someones in similar ways!
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  #2554  
Old 07-13-2017, 12:19 AM
Loverofjustin Loverofjustin is offline
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Originally Posted by Magnoliapsych78 View Post
Hi everyone! I am new to these forums and this is my first post.

I met my boyfriend on a dating website. He clicked on "Meet Me," I saw him pop up on my screen and his blue eyes drew me in. I sent a hello, he responded immediately. He was honest from the beginning about where he was and why. But we clicked quickly and I have never had easier flowing conversations with anyone like I do with him.

He gets out in February 2018. He is moving in with me and I can't wait to see where life takes us. We are both from Mississippi, which is where we will live first. As soon as we can, we are moving to Washington though.

Good luck to all of you who met your special someones in similar ways!

Was woundering what web dating site you met your boyfriend? Thanks
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  #2555  
Old 07-13-2017, 12:19 AM
Loverofjustin Loverofjustin is offline
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Was woundering what dating web site you met your man on?
Thanks
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  #2556  
Old 07-13-2017, 01:33 PM
Magnoliapsych78 Magnoliapsych78 is offline
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Was woundering what web dating site you met your boyfriend? Thanks

We met on plenty of fish. I was truly amazed at how many inside use that site.
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  #2557  
Old 07-22-2017, 04:55 PM
shygirl813 shygirl813 is offline
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I met my boyfriend while incarcerated. We are both in florida and only about a hour away from each other. We met on a pen pal website...we have exchanged photos, calls, messages for awhile. I am going to finally visit him next weekend, and i am so nervous about it all. He has told me that he feels that im his soul mate and things happen for a reason. He only has 3 years left maybe sooner. Im nervous, excited and scared all in one.
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  #2558  
Old 07-22-2017, 05:06 PM
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Hi to all!

I am living in the UK, and I have a MWI friend on prison in Nevada. He has life sentence and eligible for parole in ~40 years.

His legal team are preparing appeal and we hope to get a reduced sentence some day. I pray for that every evening!

I am 42, and worked most of my career with human rights, democracy, citizens' empowerment, civil rights, and peace negotiation in the Middle East.

I try to make my best to make this world a better place for us all, though get kicked in the face constantly. But I always rise again, haha.

I am so grateful for having found this forum and all you wonderful people here! I feel already so welcome and supported, am beyond words.

Having decided to support my friend until he is free and beyond that until he is in a good place in his life, I believe I'll stick around in this forum quite a while...

I love my MWI friend, but have not told him as he was in relationship until very recently - his GF broke up with him only two weeks ago. And only after learning that I realised I actually love him! -We both have very high morals concerning these things, so I had obviously been in denial of my feelings as he had his GF. I am not going to tell him, tho, but just staying by his side as a friend and support him.

-If he will have some feelings one day towards me, once healed, then that is cool. But I won't ruin our friendship and his trust by telling.
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  #2559  
Old 07-24-2017, 01:33 PM
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Hello everyone,

I am new to this experience (other than having a previous long term boyfriend incarcerated in jail for a very short period of time quite a few years ago and is not a comparable situation) and thus feel confused as well as experiencing a range of emotions. I met him when I discovered his case online via the Innocence Project. I chose to reach out to him via mail with no expectations that he would respond, but about a week later I received a response. I was delighted. We began sending a few letters back and forth each month, which then led to several hours of phone calls several times a week. We are not in a committed relationship due to the obvious circumstances (he was sentenced to life without parole) but have expressed romantic feelings towards each other. I'm not sure I have ever felt this way about another human, and we haven't even met face-to-face yet. None of this is easy and I wanted to connect with other people who are in similar situations as this, which is what brought me to this forum. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to deal with all of these overwhelming emotions?

Thank you!

- M

Last edited by MLE87; 07-24-2017 at 02:21 PM..
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  #2560  
Old 10-05-2017, 05:34 AM
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Hi so Iím new to all this and finding all of this a little worrying and confusing at times so hoping can connect with people In similar situations who actually understand, so I replied to a pen pal ad about 5 months ago, it started off as just emailing regularly then messaging through getting out and then on to regular phone calls, about a month ago things moved forward and we are now in a relationship and Iíve never been in a relationship with someone in prison before, I never set out for this to happen when replying to his ad but we had such a strong connection that it just grew from there, the thing Iím finding difficult the most is the lack of communication, it started off as we were in contact all the time but last month we went for three weeks of hardly talking and now itís a phone call then usually a day of silence ect , he has a job that keeps him busy and he always explains when we get on the phone but my friends all worry me saying he is just using me and that when he isnít speaking to me he probably uses those days to speak to other girls, I donít know what to make of it all , just confuses me so would be nice to talk to others and get reassurance for a change. Thanks
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  #2561  
Old 10-05-2017, 06:56 AM
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Hi so Iím new to all this and finding all of this a little worrying and confusing at times so hoping can connect with people In similar situations who actually understand, so I replied to a pen pal ad about 5 months ago, it started off as just emailing regularly then messaging through getting out and then on to regular phone calls, about a month ago things moved forward and we are now in a relationship and Iíve never been in a relationship with someone in prison before, I never set out for this to happen when replying to his ad but we had such a strong connection that it just grew from there, the thing Iím finding difficult the most is the lack of communication, it started off as we were in contact all the time but last month we went for three weeks of hardly talking and now itís a phone call then usually a day of silence ect , he has a job that keeps him busy and he always explains when we get on the phone but my friends all worry me saying he is just using me and that when he isnít speaking to me he probably uses those days to speak to other girls, I donít know what to make of it all , just confuses me so would be nice to talk to others and get reassurance for a change. Thanks
Hi I'm in the UK too - the north east - and my husband is in NV. We started off as penpals too. Sometimes when they have a job they find it difficult to get to the phone. Have you spoken to him about how you're feeling? Have you sent him money or has he asked you for things as this might be a red flag but I'm a great believer in going with your gut feeling. There could be a lot of reasons why he's gone quite (ish) on you. One thing you will need to do if you continue in the r'ship is to learn to ignore all the negative comments because you will get them and also that their lives aren't their own in prison and things happen where they can't phone or email. If you ever want a chat feel free to inbox me
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  #2562  
Old 10-05-2017, 10:40 AM
D.Sullivan D.Sullivan is offline
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Hi! Patty

I hope things work out for you. One thing for sure he'll know that he found true love when he looks in your eyes. All you can do is pray and keep hope alive, and block out what others say. Try looking at it as he's away in the army.
NO. No, it isn't. My son is still fighting these crazy f+cks and my brother was in dessert storm. My dad was in Vietnam. I'm positive having someone away fighting for OUR country and having someone locked up in prison for breaking the law(s) isn't the same,that's because I'VE got experience with both situations. Not that its needed to understand the difference!. I'm appalled at your comparison.
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  #2563  
Old 10-05-2017, 11:40 AM
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NO. No, it isn't. My son is still fighting these crazy f+cks and my brother was in dessert storm. My dad was in Vietnam. I'm positive having someone away fighting for OUR country and having someone locked up in prison for breaking the law(s) isn't the same,that's because I'VE got experience with both situations. Not that its needed to understand the difference!. I'm appalled at your comparison.
I hear what your saying I really do.I have a brother who has done several tours in Afghanistan and my step father was in the RAF. I have also had my son and other family.
I don't think the poster was trying to compare prisoners and military personnel on combat duty. Obviously they are very different things.

I think the poster was trying to compare the feelings of absence and loss that are the same for families regardless of why your loved one is absent.
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  #2564  
Old 10-11-2017, 01:28 PM
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Hi, I'm Melissa and I'm from the UK.

I've been writing to J (who is incarcerated in Alaska) since March this year, so it's been just over 6 months. For about the past 2 months, we've been talking on the phone several times a week also.

He has anywhere between 10-22 years left on his sentence, depending on how his appeals go. I have not yet visited him in person due to the distance, however I plan to do so next year, all being well.

We are not in a relationship, I wrote to him strictly to offer my friendship and with absolutely no intentions of anything else. However, as so often seems to happen to others on this site, I have started developing some preeeetty strong feelings for him and I am getting the impression that he feels the same - though neither of us have said anything.

I find it very difficult to talk to anyone about this in my life as people are extremely judgemental and just don't understand the scenario. So I came here to try and find people in a similar situation who will understand what I'm going through and can offer advice and support!

And that's me
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  #2565  
Old 10-11-2017, 01:34 PM
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Hey Melissa I am in the UK too , I met my LO through a friend in the UK and he lives in VA USA , I have been with him almost 18 months , how you started is how I started lol - now we are crazily in love and I have gone to see him twice
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  #2566  
Old 10-11-2017, 01:37 PM
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Hey Melissa I am in the UK too , I met my LO through a friend in the UK and he lives in VA USA , I have been with him almost 18 months , how you started is how I started lol - now we are crazily in love and I have gone to see him twice
Hello, thanks for your reply. Firstly, I am very happy for you

Secondly, I have so many questions! First one is - what does LO stand for?

How was it when you visited him? It's something that J and I have spoken about but have both said we'd be SO nervous. Was it scary? What do your friends/family say about the relationship?
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  #2567  
Old 10-11-2017, 01:43 PM
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Ask away

LO is loved one

The visit was amazing , it was very hard to not watch your surroundings but trust me when I say this , no one is paying attention to you and him - second visit I was very much more relaxed. It is not as scary as people make out. Going through security is like going through a airport security. The CO's were very nice and polite. They unfortunately have taken away the snacks in the vending machine on the second visit but still the time is precious , to see them smile , laugh and feel relaxed with you.

Only a few know about us , and surprisingly no judgement thus far - I told my family after my recent trip and they took is better than I expected. They say they take people as they come and not for their situation.


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Hello, thanks for your reply. Firstly, I am very happy for you

Secondly, I have so many questions! First one is - what does LO stand for?

How was it when you visited him? It's something that J and I have spoken about but have both said we'd be SO nervous. Was it scary? What do your friends/family say about the relationship?
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  #2568  
Old 10-11-2017, 01:52 PM
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That's good to hear. Did you get any extra time due to the distance you travelled? I know that in some cases/places you can get a "special" visit - but not sure what the conditions of that are and how different it is from a regular visit.

That's really good that you've not had any judgement. I know that if a romantic relationship ever formed between J and I, my family would go nuts. My Mum has already expressed how much she disapproves of me even being friends with him, let alone romantically involved! When I mentioned to her a little while ago that I was planning to visit next year she told me no way are you doing that. (I'm 25 years old, so she can't actually stop me, but she made it clear she would be very unhappy about it). It sucks because I know he's such a kind and genuine person, yet so many people can't see through the fog of a conviction.



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Ask away

LO is loved one

The visit was amazing , it was very hard to not watch your surroundings but trust me when I say this , no one is paying attention to you and him - second visit I was very much more relaxed. It is not as scary as people make out. Going through security is like going through a airport security. The CO's were very nice and polite. They unfortunately have taken away the snacks in the vending machine on the second visit but still the time is precious , to see them smile , laugh and feel relaxed with you.

Only a few know about us , and surprisingly no judgement thus far - I told my family after my recent trip and they took is better than I expected. They say they take people as they come and not for their situation.
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Old 10-11-2017, 02:00 PM
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Yeah , I get an extended visit ( although the last one they lost the memo and he forgot to bring it down :-( ) 1st Visit , I was with him from 10am till 3.30pm on Saturday and Sunday and this one I only got to see him 4 hours - trust me judgement can be from all angles , your mom will come round , my family saw the difference he was bringing to my life.

If you want you can take my social media down or email ?



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That's good to hear. Did you get any extra time due to the distance you travelled? I know that in some cases/places you can get a "special" visit - but not sure what the conditions of that are and how different it is from a regular visit.

That's really good that you've not had any judgement. I know that if a romantic relationship ever formed between J and I, my family would go nuts. My Mum has already expressed how much she disapproves of me even being friends with him, let alone romantically involved! When I mentioned to her a little while ago that I was planning to visit next year she told me no way are you doing that. (I'm 25 years old, so she can't actually stop me, but she made it clear she would be very unhappy about it). It sucks because I know he's such a kind and genuine person, yet so many people can't see through the fog of a conviction.
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  #2570  
Old 10-11-2017, 04:01 PM
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Hi
I'm from the UK I met my Guy 16 years ago when I was in the states on holiday yea a holiday romance we lost contact after I came home then a few years ago I got a letter from him to say he was now inside on a LWP and would I write to him we stayed friends for a couple of years and we have now developed feelings for each other again he is in Clallam Bay WA Anyone else on here from the uk?
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  #2571  
Old 10-12-2017, 03:12 AM
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Hi
I'm from the UK I met my Guy 16 years ago when I was in the states on holiday yea a holiday romance we lost contact after I came home then a few years ago I got a letter from him to say he was now inside on a LWP and would I write to him we stayed friends for a couple of years and we have now developed feelings for each other again he is in Clallam Bay WA Anyone else on here from the uk?
Hi yes there's a few of us on here from the UK. I'm from Newcastle and my husband is in NV. We met as penpals.
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  #2572  
Old 10-12-2017, 03:33 AM
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Hi yes there's a few of us on here from the UK. I'm from Newcastle and my husband is in NV. We met as penpals.
I'm in Bolton Manchester
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  #2573  
Old 10-12-2017, 10:45 PM
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Hi Im Kat

I"m totally new to this and am just fumbling my way through. Started as a penpal seems to be developing into something more but not quite sure as to how I stand on that.Hes really lovely but hey I don"t even know him yet and 50 to 60 emails in a couple of months dosn"t assure me but I look forward to opening my emails every morning and night. We have just started talking on the phone but Im quite shy when it comes to talking about intimate things and its so hard for me to relax but Im wanting to try for his sake as well as mine if that makes sense at all?
He has been in for 17 years and he may be out nest year or if he loses that appeal it will be 2020 for first parole and 2036 for time served.
Its a frightning but exciting new world and I plan on travelling form NZ to visit him in December.
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  #2574  
Old 10-13-2017, 06:44 AM
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Originally Posted by melissa323 View Post
Hi, I'm Melissa and I'm from the UK.

I've been writing to J (who is incarcerated in Alaska) since March this year, so it's been just over 6 months. For about the past 2 months, we've been talking on the phone several times a week also.

He has anywhere between 10-22 years left on his sentence, depending on how his appeals go. I have not yet visited him in person due to the distance, however I plan to do so next year, all being well.

We are not in a relationship, I wrote to him strictly to offer my friendship and with absolutely no intentions of anything else. However, as so often seems to happen to others on this site, I have started developing some preeeetty strong feelings for him and I am getting the impression that he feels the same - though neither of us have said anything.

I find it very difficult to talk to anyone about this in my life as people are extremely judgemental and just don't understand the scenario. So I came here to try and find people in a similar situation who will understand what I'm going through and can offer advice and support!

And that's me
Hi All

I'm Ciara and I live in Ireland. I'm in the exact same situation as you Melissa. I met 'A' back in May this year through a pen pal website with the only intention of offering my friendship and then....like you....strong feelings developed and we're now in a relationship. I love him with all my heart but at the same time, it's very scary. I've only told my best friend because I don't want the judgement from my family.
If you ever need to chat you can PM me. I'd love to share stories. 'A' is in Colorado and I'm planning a visit early next year. :-)
We're struggling with the cost of phone calls and I'm researching everything to try and reduce it but it seems to be locked down pretty tightly.
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  #2575  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:10 PM
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My name is James. I am new here to Pto. It has been nice to hear so many encouraging stories in the mwi section. I myself am a mwi. I met the love of my life 7 months ago on one of the pen pal sites. From what I can tell I am a little unusual in the fact that I am a guy falling in love with a woman in prison. I love her more than words can express. I am having my 3rd trip to Ohio to visit this weekend. I just wanted to introduce myself.
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