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  #201  
Old 06-01-2019, 03:15 PM
Bikerguy Bikerguy is offline
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Originally Posted by Sarianna View Post
I'm planning a visit for late this year and will be flying in from Europe. My biggest fear for the whole trip is that some random 'dress code' which has never been enforced before will be applied at the prison and I'll be turned away...in other words a CO will just not like my face and that'll be the real reason I won't get in while they'll say it's my pants or shirt It shouldn't be this way and it's maddening how this is happening frequently. Reminds me of those bouncers on their power trip when we were going to bars in my youth: some people just enjoy showing 'who's the man' and turning people away just because they can
All I can say is call ahead of time to get clarification about dress code. Let them know that you are coming from out of the country. Also if there is a problem in the entrance with what you are wearing, respectfully inform the officers that you are from out of the country and this is your first visit etc. I know we have made exceptions if clothing is not completely in policy, as long as its not completely in left field and there is no attempt to even try and be in policy (clothes better seen in a club than a visiting room)
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  #202  
Old 06-01-2019, 03:35 PM
Bikerguy Bikerguy is offline
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I am not a CO but I have been visiting my brother (6 yrs. my senior) off and on (mostly on) since I was a child as he’s been locked up since his teens he starting off in “boys homes” I am now 36 so new needless to say I have more experience with the visiting process than the average person. When you said that we are all here for the same thing, to visit our loved ones who broke the laws of society, you are correct but the way I see it is our LO’s broke the law not the visitors so why do I feel like the criminal when visiting?
Unfortunately we have many visitors who enter the room and instead of spending a few hours talking to their inmate and having lunch they try their hardest to circumvent the rules by conducting mutual fondling. What starts out as kissing turns into heavy petting and more, if we allow it to get that far.

Along with the sexual acts we try and prevent in the room. (its not fair for the kids in the room to look over and see a woman rubbing her man up) We are also trying to prevent the introduction of contraband. Its not just the girlfriends but the wives, parents and siblings that try and pass off drugs to the inmates in the visiting room. I've seen people put drugs into fake legs, inside bras, in a baby's diaper and even in other places.

We have to stay ever vigilant and I am sorry if this comes out as harsh, but everyone is a suspect. I have seen every "population" in a prison try and circumvent the rules by ether fondling or introducing drugs.
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  #203  
Old 06-03-2019, 09:51 PM
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lizlizzie2 lizlizzie2 is offline
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Originally Posted by miamac View Post
I absolutely agree! But there's this thinking...

that permeates this culture. I don't see it as much with younger incarcerated and staff, but there's a generation of folks who definitely have it ingrained. But as you said-- we're on the outside, it's not our place to define anymore than it would be mine to define another person's sexual orientation or gender.

Reminds me of "lady doctor". I still shudder when I hear it. It wasn't untrue-- they are women and they are doctors, but the title was meant to denote inequality as defined by outsiders. *sigh* Language, eh?
I know what you mean about the "lady doctor". When I first started working as a paralegal in this county, it was 1984. The attorney I worked for as an older gentleman who had been around since the 50s. His dictation to the one female attorney in the county in 1984 throughout the day she retired in 1991, "send a letter to that female type attorney". Of course, by 1991, there were several attorneys who happened to be women, but that one who had dared start her practice in our county in the late 60s, was always the one he meant when he used that phrase. It was like it pained him to have to call her an attorney. He never acknowledged this attorney's accomplishments:

She was born in 1916, had skipped several grades in school, got a BA from ASU in journalism in 1936, post-grad at Northwestern University, was a newspaper publisher and editor, a realtor, in 1962 started law school at U of A, working fulltime (ranch, publishing, and realtor) and raising a family for 6 years - until she got her law degree in 1968, after which she opened her practice. She passed away at age 90.
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  #204  
Old 06-03-2019, 10:28 PM
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Default Dress Code and Visitation Guards

In AZ state prisons, the private ones allowed us to change. The State run ones, no changing - you don't pass the CO's perception of the rules, you don't get in that day at all.

AZ has their policies and orders online, but they are very much open to interpretation and the variances change from prison to prison and guard to guard. Different people over the past 7 years have created FB pages for our different prisons and we try and share that info - what guards may be pickier about or what rules they seem more intent on enforcing, along with anything that may cause the metal detectors to go off such as the hooks on a bra (it's not just the underwire). Food visits and what is allowed, along with what to wear are the topics that are most often brought up by newbies. I know my first time at each prison, it was what worried me. And, like others, the same outfit passed one visit but not the next visit.

A few times, I have experienced COs who seemed to seek reasons to be rude, but, most of my 7 years visiting, the COs were professional and often even pleasant. When my son was at the opposite end of the state, they started to recognize me as they knew how far I traveled (800 miles RT), along with dealing with the disability of not being able to use my arms/hands very well to put the change in the vending machine and that I couldn't open the door to get out the purchase. It varied from allowing my son to proceed or the officer doing it for me, depending on whether it was busy (often there was only a dozen visitors).

The last prison my son was transferred to a year ago, two of the COs had seen me at a concert and recognized me as a visitor. After that, they always asked if I had seen anything good lately. When I was picking up my son to bring him home (less than 2 weeks ago), one of those COs were headed into the next building for training and saw me waiting in the parking lot. He came over and asked if my son was being released. He wished me luck and told me my son was a good person, always respectful, never caused any problems, and he thought my son would be successful in never returning to prison. (Yes, it made me feel like a proud mom.)
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  #205  
Old 06-11-2019, 12:15 PM
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Question for you:

Have you seen many guys who have spent their lifetimes in and out of the prison system (let's say for non-violent and/or drug offenses) finally have the lightbulb come on and do a 180? Obviously you wouldn't see them each time, but knowing the backgrounds of the guys you're dealing with, I'm sure you'd be aware.

From the EMT branch of the family tree, thanks for all you do!
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  #206  
Old 06-12-2019, 10:08 PM
Bikerguy Bikerguy is offline
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Originally Posted by reg8 View Post
Question for you:

Have you seen many guys who have spent their lifetimes in and out of the prison system (let's say for non-violent and/or drug offenses) finally have the lightbulb come on and do a 180? Obviously you wouldn't see them each time, but knowing the backgrounds of the guys you're dealing with, I'm sure you'd be aware.

From the EMT branch of the family tree, thanks for all you do!
Ive met many folks who say they will go straight when they get out. That they have a job lined up etc. These are guys who are might be young in their 20s or guys in their 50s getting out after being locked up for 2 decades.

I don't really see what happens after they walk out the gates. I assume most go straight.....I hope against the odds that they do.
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