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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 384 80.84%
no 53 11.16%
shortly after the birth 38 8.00%
Voters: 475. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 03-27-2011, 09:50 AM
teefgirl teefgirl is offline
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I was 5 months pregnant when my bd got arrested for violating his community corrections. It has been very hard, I am lonely and have to get prepared for our baby, which is due July 5th, all by myself. The only positive thing is that his EOS is 8/25/2012 and hopefully he will be able to get paroled or released on srp by 8/25 of this year since he will have served a third of his sentence. Pregnancy is hard enough by itself, no one really expects to have to go through it alone.
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  #77  
Old 04-06-2011, 06:03 PM
mrs_black2009 mrs_black2009 is offline
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my husband was locked up while I was pregnant, he went in November 3rd and the baby was born March 22nd he got to call me rite after I had the baby in the hospital i had jus given birth an hour before it sukkd but at least it was something since then he has seen our son about 5 times in the jail and twice after on prison visit its hard being so far away from him the prison is a 5 hour job and its rare that I get a chance to visit him with saving up for a rental car and working around my sister to drive me
its hard cause so many first things happen and he's not there to see them like I do and I know it eats him up inside too my husband gets out the end of this year and I cant wait cause I miss him so so much
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  #78  
Old 04-11-2011, 07:55 AM
last cowboy last cowboy is offline
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Originally Posted by mariah0422 View Post
I am 19 weeks pregnant today. the babys father was sent to jail last week on 5 felonies and 1 misdemenor. the court date isnt for a few weeks but I havent taken this well knowing he wont be home to see his daughter born, or how many other years he will miss. I am so lost, do I wait for him, were not married and he lied and was on drugs, he choose drugs over his child, so do i let him see her? what do I do?

( maria; as for your bd lieing to u an useing drugs, yes he was wrong but YOU SHOULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD AWAY FROM HIM. I myself was incarcerated when my son was born an i treated my bm like shit when i was out but thank god she still lets me see my son. whether you 2 stay together or not. Please let your ex see his daughter.) me an my bm are noonger together but we do try to get along for our son. if you need sumone to talk to my facebook name is Joshua Ryan.
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  #79  
Old 04-15-2011, 10:39 PM
2GunzUp 2GunzUp is offline
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i am so glad i found this forum because ths was a very difficult stage in my life because hubby missed both or our children births. When i was pregnant with our first child he left when i was 5mths i needed him so badly having our first. I was so depressed at times but my family tried to keep me encouraged then he was able to get a bail when she turned 4mths. Thru that time frame it took a while (almost a year)for them to finish the case so by the time he was sentenced i was prego with our second child which i just gave birth to 4 mths ago. The good thing is hell be home before her first bday this year. SO IM PATIENTLY WAITING
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  #80  
Old 04-23-2011, 12:04 PM
LuVnMyBaByG18 LuVnMyBaByG18 is offline
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I was only 2months pregnant when my sons dad was arrested in taken to prison. I was so lonely and depressed becuz i thought he was going to be there for his first sons birth like he had sed. It was soo difficult on me becuz i felt i had no one and the love of my life was taken from me. Ive had to raise our son on our own and he is soon to be 5. He doesnt no what his dad looks like or anything and i dont no wht else to tell him becuz he keeps askin where his daddy is and when is he coming home but lately its been more then usual. I havent had any comunication with his father since last year when we talkd but i wish i could get in contact to tell him his son wants to get to talk to him. The last i knew of his location was at high desert state prison. B. Yard. I dont know what else to say or do with my son asking about his dad. But i now that we will get in contact somehow but all i can do is keep my fingers crossed and hope it happens soon.....

******elijah misses his daddy miguel******
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  #81  
Old 04-28-2011, 06:51 AM
In luv w/ him In luv w/ him is offline
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I about had this happen but we lost our baby right before eh went in.
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  #82  
Old 05-01-2011, 06:16 PM
Boweloydswifie Boweloydswifie is offline
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We were going to have a baby before he went in we lost two since we have been together. I want to start our family but now have to wait until October 2012 I just am scared well have one & he'll get locked up again
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  #83  
Old 05-01-2011, 10:47 PM
IFLUB09 IFLUB09 is offline
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when he got arrested I was 4mths preg. With our 2nd child.. My lil girl was only 1yr n a half..when I tld him we were havin a boi he broke dwn he says dat he is going to look up to his daddy n he didnt want to have his kidz see him in prison..its hard being alone especially rt now my lil girk is in her terrible 2s and I have a 3mth old..hectic but we gotta b the backbone of the family its hardhavin to put food on da tble worryin bout havin a place to stay runnin water etc..and havin to help him wit commisary n phone calls so he can hear his kidz while hes got everything there I kno hw hates it and he rather be at home with his family but wen he comes I can promise u h# will be a changed person and nvr go back to prison not only for his fam but hisself as well. To all da women goin through tha struggle keep ur head up ma itll be over one day..
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  #84  
Old 05-11-2011, 05:12 AM
Smurfin Smurfin is offline
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He was on probation when our daughter was conceived and violated it but was home for a couple days. Then the day after we found out I was pregnant, is PO took him =( i went threw the pregnancy by myself. Our daughter is 8 months old now n will hopefully get to meet her daddy soon!
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  #85  
Old 05-23-2011, 02:44 PM
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my husband got locked up when i was 6moths pregnant i thought he was gone be able to hold off a couple more moths til he turned himself in or got tooken in but just my luck he was tooken from me and i had to move me in our 2 year old all the way to my fams to have support with our next child. It was super stressful in really emotional for the both of us, we were planning so much in then our whole world collapsed..
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  #86  
Old 05-23-2011, 09:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by last cowboy View Post
( maria; as for your bd lieing to u an useing drugs, yes he was wrong but YOU SHOULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD AWAY FROM HIM. I myself was incarcerated when my son was born an i treated my bm like shit when i was out but thank god she still lets me see my son. whether you 2 stay together or not. Please let your ex see his daughter.) me an my bm are noonger together but we do try to get along for our son. if you need sumone to talk to my facebook name is Joshua Ryan.
Hi joshua, I too am struggling with this. My bd got arrested June of last year and I had our baby that following october. I have taken the baby up there quite a few times but he is now sentenced to 20 years. He will have to do at least 6 of that... I just dont know how much of a relationship they will have. Could u add me on facebook maybe we can keep in touch? My name is Mandy Tschirhart . Shouldnt be too hard to find lol
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  #87  
Old 05-24-2011, 09:19 PM
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My boyfriend got arrested 3 days after I told him I was pregnant with his baby. I bonded him out, he was back in jail for another charge 2 weeks later. He has never seen his son, only pictures, he shold be home in 3 years though.
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  #88  
Old 05-30-2011, 02:18 PM
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My kids dad was locked up for my daughters birth and was out when she was one, shes two now and he's locked up for my sons birth thatll be in about 5 weeks. But he'll be out when he's 3 months old this time. Its hard, and i'm called foolish by some, but i still remain to hold on.
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  #89  
Old 06-05-2011, 02:40 PM
jgluvssara jgluvssara is offline
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Default I never thought this would happen to us

My fiance got arrested two weeks before i had our daughter. it was aweful and when i started my contractions i didnt want to go the hospital until he called that night. we had a routine and i knew he would call that night i just didnt know i was goin to go into labor. so once he called and i told him i was in labor i felt so much better. also he was able to atleast be hear me having a few contractions over the phone and i felt so sad but i wanted him to be somewhat apart of the experience. after our phone call i told my mom to take me to the hospital. my family and his family were there and we took lots of pictures. as soon as i was released from the hospital my daughter and I went to go see our daddy. she ofcourse slept through the whole visit but atleast we got to spend some time together as a family....horrible circumstance..but what can i say we love our daddy and any contact is better then none. we both cried alot ....and im sure we even cried more in private, cuz we try to stay strong for eachother, but hopefully this will be a life lesson for the both of us and we will never be in the same situation again. our daughter is 6 months old right now and we visit daddy atleast once a week even though he is about 2 hours away from where we live. once he is sentenced he will be in a federal prison. i dont know where or really anything about what it will be like, but im trying to stay positive. if anyone has a loved one in a federal facility please tell me about your experience. how are the visits and whatever else i need to know. I have only been in jail visits ..never in prison.nevermind federal prison. please share your experience with me and all the details. I hope anyone that or was in my shoes stays strong and doesnt stress too much because its really bad for the baby. god bless
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  #90  
Old 06-09-2011, 09:03 AM
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Daddy has missed birth, hospital stays, and heart surgery.
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  #91  
Old 06-12-2011, 08:50 PM
MobPrincess MobPrincess is offline
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He went away just weeks before my son was born. I used the anger I felt to give me feul to push.
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  #92  
Old 07-05-2011, 12:02 AM
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He'll be gone when she is born... I am due next month and he comes home in October =/
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  #93  
Old 07-06-2011, 08:24 PM
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I was only 4 months pregnant when my fiance went to prison it was the most horrifying thing ever! We were both 18 I had no idea what I was gonna do having our son was a day I will never forget I was happy, but not fully I was missing him so much as he was missing us. I cried daily and wrote him very depressing letters ( I was going through post part-um depression) after labor I ended up having a seizure attack due to the doctors not puttin the epidural correctly I spent the first month of my sons life on bed rest. He cried and told me everything was all his fault and that I shouldn't of had to go through all this he wanted me to leave him. I couldn't I knew it was his fault our son was gonna grow up without his dad but I loved him regardless. To this day he still blames himself and feels like such a horrible father but our son loves him every time we go visit he's stuck to him and never leaves his sight. Our son is a year now and even in pictures he recognizes his dad and the smile he gets is priceless. Although the wound is not fully healed I believe this whole experience has made our relationship stronger..
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  #94  
Old 07-08-2011, 02:11 AM
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My 1st son was born while he was in jail. He got to hear the whole birth and I mostly wonder what the guards thought lol. I am now pregnant and he will be missing this ones too. But my sons will always know who their daddy is and once he is settled in DOC he will still see his son and the other on the way.
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  #95  
Old 07-27-2011, 05:13 PM
Patricks_Wifey Patricks_Wifey is offline
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been there done that 3 out of four of my babies were born while their bio dad was locked up and unfortunately me and my new hubby plan on a baby before he comes home because sadly both our clocks are ticking away and it may not be feesable to wait until hes home
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  #96  
Old 08-13-2011, 12:35 AM
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Thank god I found this thread cause this has been weighing me down like crazy! My fiance and I met when my daughter from my previous relationship was only a few months old. He has been the father figure in her life ever since, they are attached at the hip and he is my financial/mental/emotional support through all of it. I know it kills him to not be around when she was first born and when I was pregnant. He's said many times he wishes he could have been around for the whole experience. He is currently serving a year in prison and we found out I was pregnant 2 months before he left. He will get out a few months after the baby is born, but he will miss everything he was hoping to get to be a part of. I had to go through it alone the first time and now it feels a million times worse to go through it again. :[
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  #97  
Old 08-14-2011, 11:40 PM
Paige.Howse Paige.Howse is offline
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Yes this makes me sad. I'm currently 5 and a half months pregnant, this is our first and he is serving a year in prison and will be out in 10 months from now, I can tell just by talking him about baby and reading his letters he is completely crushed by the fact he cannot be here for me during my pregnancy or baby being born I do send him pics of my belly every couple weeks as I can't visit because he is ten hours away and money is already tight.
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  #98  
Old 08-15-2011, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Paige.Howse View Post
Yes this makes me sad. I'm currently 5 and a half months pregnant, this is our first and he is serving a year in prison and will be out in 10 months from now, I can tell just by talking him about baby and reading his letters he is completely crushed by the fact he cannot be here for me during my pregnancy or baby being born I do send him pics of my belly every couple weeks as I can't visit because he is ten hours away and money is already tight.
My husband was arrested when I was 8 months pregant and still has atleast 10 more months to go and our son is now 6 months old almost 7 mnonths...at first the thought of doing it with out him killed me and still does but my husbands behavior and state of mind at the time he was arrested would not have been any better if he was here due to drugs..I am so thankful now that I have had this 6 months to truely truely truely enjoy my son and get to know him where I fear had my husband been home my experience would have been completely different. Take this time to get to know your child and bond with he/she. It is a very precious bittersweet time despite the hardships it comes with. I wouldnt trade the time I have had with him just to myself for anything even though I hate where my husband is. THis has been a blessing and your husband my not have been likemine and stuggled with addiction but my only advice I can give for you ladies and your children in this time is focus on your child and your relationship because they need you to be strong. For me , I feel more sorry for my son rather than my husband because my son is being shartchanged in having a father around and he had not choice in this situation. but my husband knew I was pregnant and had a son coming and still chose to act in the manner he did. So as much as I know my husband wants to be here and is remorsefull and as much as I want him here I really cant symathize with him because he made the choices he made and he knew the whole time the responsibilty he had coming and what his conquences would be and what he would miss.All I can do is make sure I will always be there to care for and support our son and experience him growing and having all his "firsts". Best of luck to all of you and congrates! It an amazing thing!
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  #99  
Old 08-18-2011, 09:22 AM
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my boo has been gone since December 10th 2010 i was 7 mnths pregant when they took him he missed our son being born and i had a c-section too the first time they gave me my son all i could do was cry cause he look JUST LIKE his daddy but my son is 5 mnths now and looks like his father but acts like me lol my boo will not be out til July 2nd 2013 our son will be 2 years old but the time is flying by ever since we finaly got contact visits and thats good so when he does come home my son will actually knw who his daddy is instead of him coming home as a stranger i have a daughter from a previous relationship and she loves him to death she calls him daddy and everything just send alot of pictures of everything we do an write him everyday i also visit every other weekend its har dbut everyday is a day marked off the calender and im just trying to keep busy taking care of the kids going to the gym and going to work everyay

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Old 08-18-2011, 12:31 PM
LadyMJ LadyMJ is offline
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My Childish father has been locked up for three months now and I'm six months pregnant.... we though he was coming home at the end of this month but it turns out the district attorney is not letting him out because of his past/record....His court date is December 13 ;-( which is also my due date.. I am very said because that means I might have to give birth alone.. I am from Seattle, WA and all my family is up there.. I don't have any family in Baton Rouge ;-(... And I know that his family doesn't to much like me because they think I got him locked up... long story short he was trippin out in the parking lot by my house and started beating on me.. neighbors called the police... he has been locked up ever since... Everyone thinks I'm stupid cuz I still love him.. but truth is he NEVER tried to hit me before I dont know what set him off that night.. should I just leave him alone and move on?? Am I stupid?? I'm real confused and alone right now.. really wish he could be there to see his son...
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