Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Raising Children with Parents in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #76  
Old 12-08-2006, 04:54 PM
mandapanda mandapanda is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: california, usa
Posts: 10
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Thank you! I see a lot of love in this site, love that I hope will be returned in full and then some when the lost loved one comes home. I wonder if we as women ever sit and consider how strong we really are? Can you imagine if you were the one locked up for a criminal act and your man keeping the home together, raising the kiddies alone, sending care packages, cards, letters.....AND being absolutely faithful?? OR would this be the common scenario: LOL
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #77  
Old 12-08-2006, 05:07 PM
2nice's Avatar
2nice 2nice is offline
In a good place!
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: London, UK
Posts: 6,460
Thanks: 239
Thanked 451 Times in 283 Posts
Default

Hi... Im Tracey! Im a MWI PTOer, so me and my sweetie dont have any children together, but my 3 kids consider my sweetie as their dad. They have a great bond and relationship with one another. He's been in their lives for 5 years now.
My kids: Shaquille (who has posted here on PTO before) 12, Sian - 11 and Kaine - 7 (8 next month).
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Old 12-11-2006, 11:14 AM
KE&KE4life's Avatar
KE&KE4life KE&KE4life is offline
Wifey Of Kelly Edwards
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Lexington Kentucky
Posts: 134
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mandapanda
Thank you! I see a lot of love in this site, love that I hope will be returned in full and then some when the lost loved one comes home. I wonder if we as women ever sit and consider how strong we really are? Can you imagine if you were the one locked up for a criminal act and your man keeping the home together, raising the kiddies alone, sending care packages, cards, letters.....AND being absolutely faithful?? OR would this be the common scenario: LOL

I think Kelly would do the same thing for me if the shoe were on the other foot. That is the reason why when I have one of my many bad days where I am mad at him and stressed out he understands and says how sorry he is. He is my rock and I am his.
__________________



Come hell or high water I will be by my man's side
Reply With Quote
  #79  
Old 12-11-2006, 02:31 PM
SilenceSpeaks SilenceSpeaks is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: CA,USA
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

My child is 4 months and the father or dad is in prison we are not together but now all of the sudden he has been getting in touch more its kind of nerve wrecking because I went through the whole pregnancy without him and got no phone calls even after I had him but now he is calling more we have talked more in the last few weeks then we had when I was pregnant I know it may just be prison talk so I am trying to be strong and remember that he is still the same person that left us out here alone
Reply With Quote
  #80  
Old 12-12-2006, 09:01 AM
1maninmylife 1maninmylife is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: georgia gwinnett
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

well im 17 and i have a 1 year old son named corey his father who is 18 got locked up when he was 5 months old an at times its harder than ever im just ready for him to get out
Reply With Quote
  #81  
Old 12-18-2006, 11:18 PM
Freedomsmom Freedomsmom is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 9
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hi,

I have a 3 year old little girl and my stbx-husband was recently sentenced to 40 years, 100% time at Menard (in Illinois). He left when I was 5 months pregnant and our daughter has never seen him. I actually didn't even know where he was until he called me in the end of 2004 when he got arrested. There were some DV issues during our marriage but, I am now going to counseling to make sure I don't get in that sort of relationship again. We have been corresponding, he has apologized for his bad behavior (and for what he did) and I have sent him a few pictures of our daughter - at his request.

Right now I am having a bit of a hard time knowing how to deal with her questions about her daddy. She talks about him constantly and we recently had the conversation that he lives far away and is on a long time-out for making a bad choice. Now all she asks me is when are we going to get on a plane and visit him. First off, I don't have the money to do that and second, I don't know when a visit is appropriate. We will be approved on the visiting list in approx. 60 days but, I am still so conflicted.

Any advice? I really want to try and help her have a relationship with her dad but, in a healthy way. I am so worried that at some point she will personalize what he has done...
Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 12-22-2006, 11:05 AM
mandapanda mandapanda is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: california, usa
Posts: 10
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

40 years? What did he do? If there was DV during your relationship why do you want to continue the relationship now? I would not talk about him to your daughter anymore except if you have to answer her questions about him and then only do so according to her maturity and on a need to know basis. Be very careful, children internalize these things...if daddy is bad, am I bad?? Will mommy go away too? For example.

Get on with your life, take care of her. Do you want to share custody with him someday?? Is that her best interest? These are you concerns.
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 12-24-2006, 01:33 PM
S.HDZ's Avatar
S.HDZ S.HDZ is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Lopez Unit
Posts: 1,009
Thanks: 67
Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts
Default

My daughter got so close to her step-dad, and they became very good friends but now that he got incarcerated every thing went down the drain. My daughter is having problems at school and she is seeing a phyc.because she can not handal the pressure of him being away from home. My daughter is only 8yrs old but she really love her step-dad very much. And my daughter can't wait for him to come back home to us.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 12-24-2006, 03:14 PM
Toshacat's Avatar
Toshacat Toshacat is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Mount Vernon Washington, USA
Posts: 892
Thanks: 3
Thanked 32 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Does your daughter go and visit him? that helps a lot or even talking to him on the phone helps too.
My daughter is 11 and she writes letters and talks to him on the phone and got to see him at least 3 times before he went to reception now we are waiting for visitation approval, but they are moving him again
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 12-26-2006, 12:24 AM
Pnellwife3's Avatar
Pnellwife3 Pnellwife3 is offline
Prayer is the key
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: pittsburgh,pa
Posts: 567
Thanks: 23
Thanked 33 Times in 26 Posts
Default

Hi, my name is Patrice and my children don't like to visit thier dad in prison my 14, 12 and 9 year old are terrified they have nightmares and stuff and beg me not to take them. My 2 year old doesn't understand he usually falls asleep during the visit. or my oldest will say ma i'll watch him please don't take our brother to that place.they do write and talk to him on the phone but they freak out everytime he asks them to come and see him. I ask them what's wrong they say they are afraid and don't like the searches and stuff etc. I don't push the issue what should I do? Help
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 12-26-2006, 12:31 AM
Jillian Jillian is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: T.E.X.A.S.
Posts: 22,321
Thanks: 3,737
Thanked 5,593 Times in 2,182 Posts
Default

As long as you arent pushing the children then you are doing the best thing for them! Every child handle the whole visitation situation different as far as your kids they may be taking their cues from the oldest. They write him and talk too him so that is another way to have that connection as well.. Let them deal with it their way.. you are doing a great job..
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 12-28-2006, 11:26 PM
jlw78418's Avatar
jlw78418 jlw78418 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ME~ TEXAS~~HIM ~ OREGON
Posts: 164
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

yeah we have a little girl who will be 8 soon and becasue he has been in and out of jail and prison
she has never seen her daddy
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 01-01-2007, 04:07 PM
Ryans4ever Ryans4ever is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: UTAH
Posts: 18
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hello I have a 6,4,2, and 6 month old 3 girls and a boy my husband leaves on the 19th for 2 yrs so hopefully the'll be ok with him leaving.
Reply With Quote
  #89  
Old 01-01-2007, 08:01 PM
lilgirlblue's Avatar
lilgirlblue lilgirlblue is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: washington
Posts: 270
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Default

HI, I have a 5 yr old son. His father was arrested and sentenced to one yr but will be out in 7 months. while he was in county I felt it was on my heart from God to contact him just to let him know that God hadn't given up on him and nothing more. He had me take his belongings when he was sent to prison. SInce he was sent to prison we have been regularly communicating and rekindled our feelings for one another. He left me and my son when he was 9 months old with only a brief attempt once yrs later to reunite. But he kept usins meth so there was no chance as I am in recovery. Since being in prison he has been "saved" and decided before leaving for prison he truly wanted to be clean and sober. As excited I am , I am also truly scared too because of his past. I too am afraid now that my son is old enough to recognize more when his dad fades in and out of his life where before he didn't when I wasn't emotionally involved. My son really wants to visit him in jail to see his dad and I too am torn between what to do. Any advice would be helpful. thanks.
__________________
Lilgirlblue
Reply With Quote
  #90  
Old 01-03-2007, 06:52 PM
5kidsmissdaddy 5kidsmissdaddy is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 28
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Hi, my husband was just sentenced to 12 years also, but federal. I am alone to raise our 5 kids ages 15,11,5, and 3 year old twins. He will sit at least 10 years, if I cannot find an attorney to win an appeal and get a new sentencing hearing. He was arrested with another man, and that man only got 18 months...what a joke this nice government of ours is. Everyone please support the H.R. 3072 bill to revive Federal Parole!
Reply With Quote
  #91  
Old 01-04-2007, 11:46 PM
JJs_BabyGirl_03's Avatar
JJs_BabyGirl_03 JJs_BabyGirl_03 is offline
Makin it thru life slowly
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Bolivar, Missouri
Posts: 226
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hi my name is Brianna my fiancee is on the inside looking at a 20 yr sentence serving 85% and i am trying to raise our 2 yr old son. But we r slowly adjusting hes been locked up for about 18 months and don't get a parole hearing til July 2020 so i got a while to go
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 01-07-2007, 11:38 PM
mom2twinboys's Avatar
mom2twinboys mom2twinboys is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 416
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hi. My boyfriend is is in coutny on his way to prison for how long I dont know yet. We have 16 month old twin boys who he has never seen besides pictures and on the other side of glass. He went to jail about a motnh and a half before they were born. I am anxiously awaiting the day that he gets to hold them and hug them himself.
__________________

Though there may be many miles between us,
with each heartbeat we are that
much closer to being in each other's arms again.



Reply With Quote
  #93  
Old 01-07-2007, 11:50 PM
monizie's Avatar
monizie monizie is offline
HI HATER (:
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: California
Posts: 621
Thanks: 31
Thanked 26 Times in 21 Posts
Default

I have two beautifull children...my youngest is 10 months old and the oldest is 4 years old...it's soo hard without him!!!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 01-17-2007, 12:48 AM
mexhika_luv mexhika_luv is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 62
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

I have a 6 yr. old and her daddy's in centinela, she's dealing with it pretty good though, so it's all good! she likes visiting and playing cards w/ him...it's really not all bad as it may seem. and she's not even ashamed of her dad being in there be STRONG ladies!!
Reply With Quote
  #95  
Old 01-17-2007, 10:26 AM
G.Leyva's Avatar
G.Leyva G.Leyva is offline
HizLv
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Forever in his heart
Posts: 2,038
Thanks: 659
Thanked 356 Times in 333 Posts
Default

Well hello to everyone I have two boys which my bf is not thier biological father but he has played the part for the past three years how ever I am 9mos prego with our first son together its going to be hard but I know time will fly by and he will be home again soon.
Reply With Quote
  #96  
Old 01-22-2007, 12:45 PM
Waitin4BlueEyes's Avatar
Waitin4BlueEyes Waitin4BlueEyes is offline
Here we go again...
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Him~California*Me~Oregon
Posts: 1,188
Thanks: 68
Thanked 186 Times in 132 Posts
Default

Hello everyone. We have a 3 year old daughter, Belle. He went in when I was three months pregnant I took her last year for the first time, but it was behind glass. She doesn't know where he is, she just tells everyone "My Daddy is stuck in the glass". I figure she is too young to explain right now and I don't want her dealing with other people's ignorance if she were to say where he is. She will be 5 when he comes home, so I am hoping I never have to tell her...until she's old enough to understand and already has a bond with him.
It is tough at times raising her on my own, but I have a great support system of family & friends. Supportive of her, not my relationship with him.
It's great knowing other women feel my pain and understand the heartache of all this
__________________
Officially Mr. & Mrs. BlueEyes
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 01-22-2007, 09:42 PM
2became1 2became1 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Reno, Nevada USA
Posts: 47
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

I have four children, Julius (13), Essence (11), Malik (6), and Isaiah (2) and my husband has been incarcerated ever since I was 2 weeks pregnant with our youngest. The two younger are by my husband but he is all of my children's father. He has been Julius' dad since Julius was 5 and thankfully he will come back home this year. My children and I are ecstatic but it is not over yet and very hard to juggle family life with 4 kids, going to college, and working. I just thank God it is almost over. I do allow my children to visit him every chance we can since I don't have transportation. I try to share rides, have caught the bus, rent cars, and we all write letters back and forth to him. He calls weekly and we always take pictures and send them to him so he has a current photo to look at. Although he hasn't been out of prison the whole time Isaiah has been in our family, Isaiah still knows who he is and yells out "Daddy!" every time my husband enters the visiting room. My husband is overjoyed that he has maintained his relationship with his children. Soon the struggle will be over so until then...I just keep moving on and stay focused.
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 01-22-2007, 10:08 PM
Alsbaby3 Alsbaby3 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Illinois, United States
Posts: 108
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I didn't think twice about taking our two sons ages 6 and 3 to see daddy, I don't think they care where daddy is as long as they see he is still here.....a few of the visits were behind the glass and my little one who is 3 didn't understand and he asked daddy "daddy do you need a key?" as he was looking at the guards really big keys when they walked by, my husband had tears in his eyes after that......I had 2 contact visits with all three of our sons and that was great, until my husband was moved a long way away, so for now it is just letters and phone calls to keep contact, those contact visits were the greatest though I was lucky to have 2 of them, my body never felt such peace when we sat there and both of our sons were on daddy's lap the whole time making up for a alot of things and alot of questions....until we meet again, I just have hope and pray, God does wonders...
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 01-23-2007, 09:18 AM
skylar_73's Avatar
skylar_73 skylar_73 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Philadelphia,PA
Posts: 97
Thanks: 5
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I have a 3yr old son. We have gone to see him since he has been locked up he has only been in there for 2yrs and although he was paroled they wont release him till he takes one more class which he is waiting on. My son has just started crying for daddy and this hurts me because daddy cant comfort him and i am unsure of how to comfort him so i tell him we are going to see his dad on friday the 26th. i gave him a picture thats the best i can do but what do you tell your child who is crying for daddy and daddy cant be there to comfort him?
__________________
NICKOLE AKA SKYLAR_73
Reply With Quote
  #100  
Old 01-23-2007, 06:26 PM
Toshacat's Avatar
Toshacat Toshacat is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Mount Vernon Washington, USA
Posts: 892
Thanks: 3
Thanked 32 Times in 29 Posts
Default

Hi Nickole,
That is a tough one, and there is no easy way to explain it to a 2 yr old why daddy isn't there. All they know is they want daddy and want daddy now. The picture is great. I used to have a plasitc baby key ring that I could put pictures in when my daughter was that age and she loved carrying her daddy around with her wherever she went. She was 10 when her dad got arrested and she has his picture and a shirt of her dads and I gave her lots of hugs. She needed to feel that I wasn't going anywhere either.
Other than the picture and lots of hugs, try to get him to draw a picture for daddy and then mail it to him and make sure he hear his daddy voice on the phone when he calls and telling him that he will see daddy on Friday also helps too.
I hope he gets his class done real soon so he can come home to you and your son.
God Bless and hang in there.
Toshacat
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Working out in Prison - Free weights and inmates David World Prison News 47 10-03-2011 09:52 AM
Corrections Health Care News & Articles Ken General Health Care 154 09-28-2007 03:24 AM
"A view from inside the prison system" cember Alabama General Prison Talk, Introductions & Chit Chat 10 09-28-2006 08:00 PM
Facing Long Term Imprisonment Luke Letters & Stories from Inmates & X-Cons 21 09-05-2004 02:10 AM
A Reorganization Plan for Corrections Kathy California Prison & Criminal Justice News & Events + 3 Strikes 9 08-17-2004 02:12 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:06 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics