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Coming Home Dedicated to discussions about our loved ones that are coming home soon. Discussions here should not fit any other category.

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  #1  
Old 04-15-2018, 01:35 AM
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Default 13 yr. sentence, 9 mos. left: What can I look forward to when he gets home?

My baby has nine months to go before he gets released. He has been serving a 13 yr sentence. The last few months have been very hard on him, he has a lot of backed up emotions that are coming out. He has good days where he is happy, sad days where he cries and other days where he is so aggravated he is ready to blow, he's also tired of being on guard 24/7 watching his back. He has spent 4 years in the hole and the rest of the time he has been in a single man cell locked up for 22 hours a day. He has PTSD from being alone for so long and has other issues he is dealing with both mentally and emotionally. Is all this normal with a long timer coming home soon? What can I look forward to when he gets home? He wants to come home and just be loved on and babied because he hasn't had it for so long, can you overdo affection when they've been in for so many years and come home?
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Old 04-15-2018, 10:25 AM
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AngelMindi, I've moved your thread to the Coming Home forum....there are some excellent sticky threads at the top of this forum that may help explain his current behavior (normal) and give you some "tips" on what to expect.

Is his release still November 15? If so, that's only 7 months 113 days!! I've been posting in your countdown thread every few days

IMHO, its gonna take a while and a lot of patience (from both of you) for him to get his "street feet" underneath him.

Those "short-timers" jitters may get worse before release....and you'll both most likely have them. So many "what if's" will run through your heads.

Stay positive, and keep busy. Start a To-do list for yourself of things you want to get done before he gets home; start a Honey-Do list for him of things he can do once he's home - other than the normal release stuff (dr. lic, ss card, etc) list small home repairs he can do to keep busy & feel productive ie paint the bedroom (or bathroom, whatever), change the oil in the car / rotate the tires, fix the leaky sink etc etc.

Congratulations on his soon Homecoming!!
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Old 04-15-2018, 10:31 AM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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The transition might be messy and hard. Adjusting to life moving on, ppl all around, places changing etc.

Age makes a difference too. Did he have an adult life prior? If not, he is going to be learning how to be an adult.

Watch expectations. Speak to a therapist about this and yourself.
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
AngelMindi, I've moved your thread to the Coming Home forum....there are some excellent sticky threads at the top of this forum that may help explain his current behavior (normal) and give you some "tips" on what to expect.

Is his release still November 15? If so, that's only 7 months 113 days!! I've been posting in your countdown thread every few days

IMHO, its gonna take a while and a lot of patience (from both of you) for him to get his "street feet" underneath him.

Those "short-timers" jitters may get worse before release....and you'll both most likely have them. So many "what if's" will run through your heads.

Stay positive, and keep busy. Start a To-do list for yourself of things you want to get done before he gets home; start a Honey-Do list for him of things he can do once he's home - other than the normal release stuff (dr. lic, ss card, etc) list small home repairs he can do to keep busy & feel productive ie paint the bedroom (or bathroom, whatever), change the oil in the car / rotate the tires, fix the leaky sink etc etc.

Congratulations on his soon Homecoming!!
I think you got your calculations wrong. If his out date is November 15 He has 213 and a wake up left. But either way seven months yay. You will have lots of obstacles to over come because he's been sheltered from real life for a very long time. Don't rush him to do anything to fast let him decide to do things on his own. Being in crowed rooms will not be ok with him. Also get him into seeing a counselor as soon as you can. One who specializes In ptsd
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Old 04-15-2018, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
I think you got your calculations wrong. If his out date is November 15 He has 213 and a wake up left. But either way seven months yay.
EEEK! Yep, looks like I changed the "2" to a "1" a few days ago....I'll fix it now Thanks!
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Old 04-19-2018, 08:51 PM
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Hi! He actually is coming home Feb.7 2019. He had some issues and his release date changed. I actually had a visit with him today and another one tomorrow so it's so special to have that time together. I love him so much and can't wait for him to be home so we can cuddle and snuggle! He's been through so much over the years that I hope he can come back from where he is at mentally right now. I read all about PICS and that is him to a tee. He had a bad night last night and was at a breaking point, I was able to talk to him and comfort him but it was a bad one. I can't wait till morning so I can hug and kiss him again..
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Old 04-19-2018, 08:58 PM
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Have another great visit tomorrow!!

I'll change the date & number of days left in your countdown thread if you want to continue counting down....or I can close the thread. Your choice, let me know
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Old 04-19-2018, 09:20 PM
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Can you update it please..Thank You
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Old 04-19-2018, 09:45 PM
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https://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ez...09da/event.png

The link above gives the time in months, weeks, and days, so I'll figure how many days you have left in the morning ..... right now its well past my bed time LOL
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Old 05-17-2018, 04:41 PM
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I agree with everyone here about letting him do things at his own pace and just being as supportive as you can. I think counseling is a must in this situation... not so much because of the amount of time he has done but because of how he had to do it. All that time in the hole and also being in a single man cell for 22 hours a day... whew! My love is about to come out after 17.5 yrs and we talk all the time about what we think he will struggle with, but the last 10 yrs for him have been pretty low key. Still I think communication and being realistic in your expectations of him and him of you are also key. Good luck!!!
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