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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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Old 09-29-2014, 07:22 PM
msandre88 msandre88 is offline
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Question I am running in circles...

I know what the answers and responses are I am in the same damn situation again....LOVING A HORRIBLE ADDICT THAT DOESNT want to help himself I have been in hell for the past couple of months...his violation of probation has been dragging on for 6 months...while the judge says u give me three clean urines and I will put u back on probation...what? well he knows when he goes to court so he gets clean for it....but im pretty sure his luck is running out....I am so hurt...so upset benders get longer and longer....I barely sleep home bc he gets crazy,,,,hes so mean...the bad days FAR OUT WAY THE GOOD ONES...I STARTED A NEW JOB....I am away now...and he is on another bender....I know I need help too.....I just want to cry....I am so sad....it doesn't help that I feel like this....he is so insane now...that I know he will be dead or in jail soon...I realized I cant save him that is why I stay out of the house....he is out most of the time too...its so sad im so hurt...and why don't I ever learn my lesson.....?
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:42 PM
yourself yourself is offline

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I'm sorry you're going through this again. I'm glad you recognize that you need help so that you're not constantly throwing your heart at somebody who's heart is taken by addiction. Get to AlAnon meetings. Get into counseling. You need to fix you so that you can do the best job you can protecting your heart and your LO. A new job is great, but you have to deal with the emotions, and your need to be in this type of relationship. It's not easy, but it's a lot easier than taking on the responsibility of somebody who's into his addiction to the point that he can't see anything clearly.

It sucks to be in your position, but when you want out, there are ways out. Decide you deserve better and get to AlAnon. Work the program. Get into counseling. Work on you. You are worth it.
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:17 PM
mssirois2u mssirois2u is offline
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As a child of addicts Mom and Dad, I seek help for my self! I knew I can't stop them, I had to help myself. I was once told at a very young age ( when you get your stomach full you will do something for you and love from a distance) and just that I did at the young age of 13. I don't want you to think I'm being cold because I'm not. The old saying is you can't do it they have to. Think of a triangle, and your in the middle, you only have 3 points, at some point YOU have to step out. You will to save your own life, but only you know when you have enough. Find sober friends, don't fall for the pitty cry's ( it will be hard) but you can get your life back, take a stand, hoping he/she will follow. But sometimes they don't. I'm praying you seek help for you and stay tough! Hugs!
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Old 10-15-2014, 07:05 AM
Combs Combs is offline
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Iím really sorry for you and my heart goes out to you. I wish you the best and I hope everything works out well for you.

I donít want to seem hard, but... When youíre dealing with somebody whoís into alcohol &/or drugs, they just donít have any desire to straighten out and theyíre potentially dangerous to themselves, you or others, there is only one thing that it makes any sense for you to do. Thatís simply to get him out of your life before you end up physically injured or dead.

Getting counseling and working programs may or may not be of any help, but if youíre physically at risk... youíre physically at risk and thatís the immediate problem and danger that you need to address.

Best wishes and best of luck with your situation. Hereís hoping it works out OK.
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