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  #1  
Old 01-13-2018, 12:08 PM
torieoo torieoo is offline
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Default Everything has crumbled around me-he was arrested again

That title is dramatic but itís an exact representation of how Iím feeling. My boyfriend and i were doing so good until this morning i got a call from someone telling me he was arrested on a drug charge. I donít know what the details are, but all i know is he will probably be going away for awhile and i canít go through this again. I have to walk away for my own mental health and my own happiness. Iím so heart broken by all of this and i wish it was some sick nightmare
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  #2  
Old 01-13-2018, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by torieoo View Post
That title is dramatic but itís an exact representation of how Iím feeling. My boyfriend and i were doing so good until this morning i got a call from someone telling me he was arrested on a drug charge. I donít know what the details are, but all i know is he will probably be going away for awhile and i canít go through this again. I have to walk away for my own mental health and my own happiness. Iím so heart broken by all of this and i wish it was some sick nightmare
Sooooo sorry to hear.
He didn't learn nada first time around.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:31 PM
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I don't blame you I'm not ever doing this again.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:49 PM
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Sooooo sorry to hear.
He didn't learn nada first time around.


He didnít, and if the charges are true by what his brother is saying heís looking at minimum of 5-7
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:53 PM
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He didnít, and if the charges are true by what his brother is saying heís looking at minimum of 5-7
Drug Charges ?

Okay.

Hopefully there not and get dismissed.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:07 PM
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Oh my gosh. He wasn't out long was he???
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:17 PM
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Sorry, torieoo, really sorry. It's always such heartbreak when they just can't follow the rules. Don't blame you at all for walking away.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:20 PM
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Ugh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope the charges are WRONG and dropped for both of your sake. I completely understand you refusing to go through this again. I'm married to my darling, and I honestly could never go through this again. I'm willing to do it this one time, and that's it! Keep your head up, love! You can do this!
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:22 PM
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Drug Charges ?

Okay.

Hopefully there not and get dismissed.


Yes the drug charges, sorry i didnít think to specify. Heís claiming it was a set up but i havenít talked to him yet his dad is going to bail him out but Iíve heard a bunch of different stories
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:23 PM
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Oh my gosh. He wasn't out long was he???


Not at all only since October
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:24 PM
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Sorry, torieoo, really sorry. It's always such heartbreak when they just can't follow the rules. Don't blame you at all for walking away.


Thank you. Iím such a whirlwind of emotions right now
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:26 PM
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Ugh, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope the charges are WRONG and dropped for both of your sake. I completely understand you refusing to go through this again. I'm married to my darling, and I honestly could never go through this again. I'm willing to do it this one time, and that's it! Keep your head up, love! You can do this!


I wish they were but i know heís gonna be going away for some time. Iím just not sure how long. I wish there were alternatives to a jail sentence. Thank you tho i appreciate it!
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:42 PM
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Not at all only since October
Oh my gosh I'm sorry. But apparently he didn't learn.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:58 PM
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That's terrible I'm so sorry I know it has to be heart breaking. I would feel like my life was crumbling too it had to be a shock. Let yourself be where you are emotionally and take care of yourself first through this. I had to let a man go years back who just couldn't stop the drugs it was very hard. I hope you get some solid answers soon!
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Old 01-13-2018, 02:09 PM
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That's terrible I'm so sorry I know it has to be heart breaking. I would feel like my life was crumbling too it had to be a shock. Let yourself be where you are emotionally and take care of yourself first through this. I had to let a man go years back who just couldn't stop the drugs it was very hard. I hope you get some solid answers soon!


Thank you, i am a mess right now. Hopefully i hear from someone soon so i know whatís going on
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Old 01-13-2018, 02:13 PM
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Oh crap! Iím really sorry
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Old 01-13-2018, 03:41 PM
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I am so sorry Please take care of yourself....You have been through this before with him if I got it right from your older posts, and you are so very young - do not feel bad if you feel enough is enough!

Sending you strength
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Old 01-13-2018, 04:12 PM
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I am so sorry Please take care of yourself....You have been through this before with him if I got it right from your older posts, and you are so very young - do not feel bad if you feel enough is enough!



Sending you strength


Thank you, yes i have been through this before with him and i thought this was it. I need to walk away even tho itís going to be so hard for me to do it
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Old 01-13-2018, 07:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by torieoo View Post
That title is dramatic but itís an exact representation of how Iím feeling. My boyfriend and i were doing so good until this morning i got a call from someone telling me he was arrested on a drug charge. I donít know what the details are, but all i know is he will probably be going away for awhile and i canít go through this again. I have to walk away for my own mental health and my own happiness. Iím so heart broken by all of this and i wish it was some sick nightmare
Sometimes love is not enough. You have to decide whether you can stand to love with uncertainty and chaos. I thought I would be able to forgive, remember what happened and still stay married but I canít. I donít want to anymore. You got to do what is best for you.
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Old 01-13-2018, 07:59 PM
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Quote:
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That title is dramatic but it’s an exact representation of how I’m feeling. My boyfriend and i were doing so good until this morning i got a call from someone telling me he was arrested on a drug charge. I don’t know what the details are, but all i know is he will probably be going away for awhile and i can’t go through this again. I have to walk away for my own mental health and my own happiness. I’m so heart broken by all of this and i wish it was some sick nightmare

Trust me, chica. I know how you're feelin' and i pray for you to really walk away if you're sure it is really what you want and or KNOW what is best for you and that is YES, your health,mentally and physically.." Your OWN happiness. and god bless you. Let me know how it all turns out. hugs -n- blessings. Adios.Good night.
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:54 PM
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You do what is right for you. When you are unsure, do nothing and let life take its course. I'm so sorry honey.
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Old 01-13-2018, 10:25 PM
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A prison sentence can destroy a relationship. If her man is locked up for an unimaginable length of time, what can a woman do? No matter the love, life goes on on the outside. Children grow, women find new loves and the man on the inside is left behind, in every sense.
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Old 01-14-2018, 10:57 AM
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I'm sorry to hear this I really hoped for your sake things had changed with him. Don't just throw away all hope as having seen the system at work he could be telling the truth. I'd do a wait and see for myself or I wouldn't feel right, then if it's over for you at least you aren't going by hearsay. Good luck honey!!!
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:17 PM
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Thank you everyone so much. Itís been an emotional two days. I ended up going up to his house two hours away on Saturday night to find out what was really going on since he doesnít have a phone currently, itís still in police custody and he doesnít know when heís getting it back (does anyone know how long that usually takes?) . From what he told me it was 100% a setup but he was still in the wrong because he still had stuff on him. He showed me the papers he got with the charges and police report and he said theyíre most likely going to offer him a drug program to do since heís still using and the charges werenít as bad as i was told they were. I however, looking at the negative side of things asked him what if they donít offer you that and he said he would only do a couple months in jail. He has to go back to the bail bondsman tomorrow and has his preliminary hearing on Wednesday. I still donít know what to think or how Iím even processing it. He says heís ready to get clean and do the program, and i watched him withdraw all day today. I just donít know what to do. My mind is racing a million miles a minute and not being able to talk to him on the phone is driving me nuts
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:23 PM
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I'll tell you what I didn't do but would do if faced with your situation again - I'd wait, without making any sort of positive moves on the relationship, until he's out of any drug program for a year. Then I'd evaluate what sort of progress he's made, and then decide if a relationship is actually worth salvaging.

But.....knowing what I know now, I'd actually probably give it up, because the odds are 90-10 against him staying clean, and I would never tie myself to an addict again. It's just too dangerous and stressful.
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