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Wives & Girlfriends in Prison For everyone who has a wife, girlfriend, or female partner incarcerated.

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  #101  
Old 11-01-2017, 01:49 PM
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Glad it worked out well. Persistence is important but so is developing rapport with everyone who counts. They dig in their heels if you put them on the defensive.
Yes I agree. It was actually my sister in-law that spoke to the person. They developed a conversation that was joking around a bit.... after her true emotions of care, fear and crying settled down.
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  #102  
Old 01-08-2018, 11:48 AM
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I feel like I'm the only (active) man here.

Took a look at the Girlfriends & Wives section, and it looks rather inactive. I wonder why that is? I know there's more men in prison than women, but I read that women are going to prison in increasing numbers, plus Murica is #1 in largest prison population in the world.

So, any men here supporting their wives here?

Shogun.

EDIT: I posted this in the wrong forum section by accident. Can a moderator please move it? Thanks.
This forum IS pretty quiet. One of the guys who posted most often is with his lady now and some others appear to have lost interest. I wish more guys would jump in. I like the interaction with others going through the same things I am. I've gotten some good advice here and here's no place else to vent when I need to. USA incarcerates a larger percentage of our population than any other country. Women are increasingly getting pulled into the system. That's not the kind of equality they're fighting for! I'm still "with" with my wife of 29 years. We'll stay "together" as long as she's down.
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  #103  
Old 01-11-2018, 08:32 PM
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I’m still here with ya! I don’t post as much as I read but always checking in. My wife was supposed to be out in December but it was pushed back to March. Can’t believe it’s been over 2 years since she went away but I can start to see the finish line. She finally got called into the office today to ask who would be picking her up. It’s been a crazy ride but almost over!
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  #104  
Old 01-12-2018, 02:35 PM
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I'm still with ya, but don't visit as often as before..I'm the older guy waiting for Randi Lynn, (my future wife), and am just still supporting her and waiting. She was initially in Waseca, Minnesota, then grabbed up and brought to the the transfer center in Ok, then to lovejoy, Georgia, and finally to Aliceville in Alabama. I say finally, and I hope she doesn't go anywhere else. Being mostly powerless, them and us waiting, we only learn after the fact, which I suppose we become acclimated to after being sort of kicked around a bit. In theory, I could go get her late this year, but I'm not counting on it. She was in rdap program in Waseca for 2 1/2 months, but when she was moved, that was the end of that...Aliceville didn't have rdap, but supposedly they are going to institute it in February..Once again, the grain of salt rule seems appropriate! According to Randi Lynn, at least she will be credited with the previous rdap time, but I believe she will have to start from the beginning. We'll see..IF everything goes right, I'll go get her in December of this year...If not, it should be in early 2019...What a journey to this point, and we all miss MissingDee and his wise counsel!! I see him sometimes, and it is always a good thing
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  #105  
Old 01-12-2018, 06:18 PM
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If she was in the RDAP program how can they move her to another prison? That seems like they undermined her success? Why?
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  #106  
Old 01-12-2018, 09:24 PM
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Well, the thing is that they can pretty much do what they want to do. Sometimes there is no rhyme nor reason as to why stuff happens inside..If the past few years have taught me anything, it is not to depend too much on what should happen, and don't be too surprised when your expectations aren't met! She states that she is never never never going back in, and is coming here to Connecticut to avoid being around all her old haunts, and friends..Long distance from Idaho, so she will have all the support and love to keep her straight when she is here. For the past few years, she has continually insisted that this is were she wants to be. far less likely that she would go back when she is here with me...I suppose the watchwords are..Patience and perserverence..
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  #107  
Old 01-13-2018, 02:35 PM
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Waitingwilkes
Iím still here with ya! I donít post as much as I read but always checking in. My wife was supposed to be out in December but it was pushed back to March. Canít believe itís been over 2 years since she went away but I can start to see the finish line. She finally got called into the office today to ask who would be picking her up. Itís been a crazy ride but almost over!
That's great! Congratulations! You must be ecstatic!
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  #108  
Old 01-13-2018, 02:49 PM
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I'm still with ya, but don't visit as often as before..I'm the older guy waiting for Randi Lynn, (my future wife), and am just still supporting her and waiting. She was initially in Waseca, Minnesota, then grabbed up and brought to the the transfer center in Ok, then to lovejoy, Georgia, and finally to Aliceville in Alabama. I say finally, and I hope she doesn't go anywhere else. Being mostly powerless, them and us waiting, we only learn after the fact, which I suppose we become acclimated to after being sort of kicked around a bit. In theory, I could go get her late this year, but I'm not counting on it. She was in rdap program in Waseca for 2 1/2 months, but when she was moved, that was the end of that...Aliceville didn't have rdap, but supposedly they are going to institute it in February..Once again, the grain of salt rule seems appropriate! According to Randi Lynn, at least she will be credited with the previous rdap time, but I believe she will have to start from the beginning. We'll see..IF everything goes right, I'll go get her in December of this year...If not, it should be in early 2019...What a journey to this point, and we all miss MissingDee and his wise counsel!! I see him sometimes, and it is always a good thing
The feds have certainly moved her around enough! That has to be nerve wracking for both of you. I hope they give her credit for the time she already invested in RDAP. It would be a rip off not to. I hope you get her back in time for Christmas. What a way to start the New Year!
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  #109  
Old 01-13-2018, 02:52 PM
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Well, the thing is that they can pretty much do what they want to do. Sometimes there is no rhyme nor reason as to why stuff happens inside..If the past few years have taught me anything, it is not to depend too much on what should happen, and don't be too surprised when your expectations aren't met! She states that she is never never never going back in, and is coming here to Connecticut to avoid being around all her old haunts, and friends..Long distance from Idaho, so she will have all the support and love to keep her straight when she is here. For the past few years, she has continually insisted that this is were she wants to be. far less likely that she would go back when she is here with me...I suppose the watchwords are..Patience and perserverence..
Being an outmate teaches patience and perseverance. We've learned to hope for the best but expect the worst. I guess we've been lucky. The worst hasn't happened. Unfortunately, neither has the best. It's been like the movie Groundhog Day, except she can't do anything different from day to day.
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  #110  
Old 01-13-2018, 04:06 PM
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I recently met one of the "few and far between" guys on another forum I belong to. I introduced him and my "daughter". They have been exchanging emails. She is very level minded and is being friends with no hidden agenda.
He is a reader/writer...a necessity and has been emailing her at least once a day.
I am happy that they are working on a mutual benefit friendship.
And I am patting myself on the back big time.

You guys are truly very special
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  #111  
Old 01-13-2018, 06:13 PM
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The feds have certainly moved her around enough! That has to be nerve wracking for both of you. I hope they give her credit for the time she already invested in RDAP. It would be a rip off not to. I hope you get her back in time for Christmas. What a way to start the New Year!
You're right in the nerve wracking part...You know how when someone gets sent to SHU you don't hear anything form them at all?like none of your emails get answered for days and days, and eventually you get a snail mail letter? I've gone through that on 4 or 5 occasions with her, and it doesn't get easier, but perhaps mentally and emotionally we relax a bit more, figuring it has to be because she's in SHU. Well, the same happens each time they moved her..No emails or calls, just silence until in the new facility.So, the new year is like the last year, and the year before that, but nothing can be done about it...I believe we grow a shell eventually, and somewhat become inured to the situation. It's really our only defense against untoward emotional upset..
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  #112  
Old 01-15-2018, 12:54 PM
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and we all miss MissingDee and his wise counsel!! I see him sometimes, and it is always a good thing
I am still here....maybe not as active as I used to be, but as it turns out, having your girlfriend home from prison can be very time consuming. LOL!

Bob, how much longer does Randi Lynn have at this point?
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  #113  
Old 01-15-2018, 01:01 PM
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I recently met one of the "few and far between" guys on another forum I belong to. I introduced him and my "daughter". They have been exchanging emails. She is very level minded and is being friends with no hidden agenda.
He is a reader/writer...a necessity and has been emailing her at least once a day.
I am happy that they are working on a mutual benefit friendship.
And I am patting myself on the back big time.

You guys are truly very special
I think everyone in prison needs, at minimum, a friendship like this. It can be very grounding and help them connect with a person and a story line that isn't going on behind bars and isn't what got them behind bars. I am happy that this is happening as well.

-E
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  #114  
Old 01-15-2018, 01:03 PM
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Waitingwilkes
Iím still here with ya! I donít post as much as I read but always checking in. My wife was supposed to be out in December but it was pushed back to March. Canít believe itís been over 2 years since she went away but I can start to see the finish line. She finally got called into the office today to ask who would be picking her up. Itís been a crazy ride but almost over!
Sounds like the home stretch can't get here soon enough......hopefully no further setbacks. Ugh. Dee and I had so many setbacks, when they finally told her 150 days, it felt like the greatest miracle....until she came out the gate, of course....
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  #115  
Old 01-15-2018, 01:32 PM
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I am still here....maybe not as active as I used to be, but as it turns out, having your girlfriend home from prison can be very time consuming. LOL!

Bob, how much longer does Randi Lynn have at this point?
Well, the way it seems currently is that Aliceville, in theory, will begin rdap at the end of February. That being said, it is HOPED that it will be so! According to Randi, her counselor tells her that the 2 1/2 months of rdap programming she went through in Waseca SHOULD carry over into Aliceville. I don't know what that would look like, in that if the first class starts at the end of February, will Randi just remain in her usual routine, or will she go and "observe" only? It seems counter intuitive that she wouldn't start over with the rest of the first class. If she does the program there, 9 months is the time span, so it puts her eligible for release in early December? IF she is in the first class, which is unknown at this time. Her original sentence was 120 months, released in 2021. There are variables, so now it's just getting to the End of February, and seeing if she's included. If not, then sometime in mid 2019, as far as I know. At this time, it all seems rather hazy as far as time goes..At some point, I will get the call and make that drive to get her, from Connecticut to Alabama. A long drive for sure, but never, ever a more worthy drive! I, like you, will be emotionally spent in the parking lot, and will surely shed plenty of tears of relief. Your summation of all the emotions and your feelings as you sat waiting was one of the most touching, most "real" things I've ever read, and being in the same boat gave it power! So, kind of a long way still to go, but God willing, we'll get there!!
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  #116  
Old 01-16-2018, 06:37 PM
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Missingdee
No doubt about that. Nothing since she has been away has worked out the way it was supposed to. Itís amazing how they say this and do that. Promise this and then do that. We have had setbacks from day 1 and I agree with a post above. I think we form a shell and just figure that a setback is only a phone call away. Itís funny how we went into this with optimism and today pessimism is the only way to get thorough it. Expecting the unexpected and realizing that until she does walk out of those doors they can do as they please. But with every day that passes itís one day less that we can get more bad news. As much as I want to get excited, I went through the ecastic phase back in November when she was to leave in December. Figures that it was just another let down and pushed release back to March. Either way, if they keep their date sheís free in just a few weeks. If they change their mind again it will be sometime this year. Iím just glad weíre at the end of this and not back at the beginning. Itís been hell to go through this ride and I wouldnít want to do it again! Congrats to you and your Lady, from reading all your post it sounds like the road is smoothing out. I hope to be celebrating with you in the same light in a few weeks... Iíll keep you posted.
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  #117  
Old 01-16-2018, 07:31 PM
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Yeah, the powerlessness we go through should give us the motivation to help them stay straight, and to never have a chance of repeating past mistakes, and going back in! I can say with all certainty, as I've said before, I will never go through this again for anyone. As my girl Randi Lynn says, another day down, is another day closer to us! I can hardly wait for the year to pass!!
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  #118  
Old 01-17-2018, 05:02 PM
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Yeah, the powerlessness we go through should give us the motivation to help them stay straight, and to never have a chance of repeating past mistakes, and going back in! I can say with all certainty, as I've said before, I will never go through this again for anyone. As my girl Randi Lynn says, another day down, is another day closer to us! I can hardly wait for the year to pass!!
I agree. This was a first and last for me as well! Iím ready to wrap it up and get back to living. This shit is for the birds. Donít wish it on anyone. Pretty sad that I look forward to going to work everyday just to keep the mind busy lol. Weekends take forever also. Well like all of us here hope everyone gets good news and we get our women home soon!
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  #119  
Old 01-18-2018, 05:43 AM
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We are in the home stretch, 2 days and a wake up and she walks out those doors.
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:16 AM
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Yeah, the powerlessness we go through should give us the motivation to help them stay straight, and to never have a chance of repeating past mistakes, and going back in! I can say with all certainty, as I've said before, I will never go through this again for anyone. As my girl Randi Lynn says, another day down, is another day closer to us! I can hardly wait for the year to pass!!
As awful as it is for us, it's 10 times worse for them.
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:17 AM
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We are in the home stretch, 2 days and a wake up and she walks out those doors.

AWESOME! CONGRATULATIONS TO BOTH OF YOU!

(green with envy!)
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:19 AM
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I agree. This was a first and last for me as well! Iím ready to wrap it up and get back to living. This shit is for the birds. Donít wish it on anyone. Pretty sad that I look forward to going to work everyday just to keep the mind busy lol. Weekends take forever also. Well like all of us here hope everyone gets good news and we get our women home soon!
Keeping busy works until I run out of distractions at bed time.
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Old 01-18-2018, 06:41 PM
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We are in the home stretch, 2 days and a wake up and she walks out those doors.
Congrats Man! Enjoy it!
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Old 01-19-2018, 05:53 PM
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We are in the home stretch, 2 days and a wake up and she walks out those doors.
You ready? Or at least as ready as you're going to get?
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Old 01-20-2018, 07:48 PM
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We are in the home stretch, 2 days and a wake up and she walks out those doors.
OMG!! Congrats to you and her! MissingDee had a terrific summation of what it felt like, and the emotions he went through, and I can only imagine how you will feel. Hey, I'm looking eventually to shed some tears as I wait for her to come out of the gate! Again, heartfelt congratulations to you!
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