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Florida Legal Information Topics, Discussions and Information relating to Legal Information specific to Florida. This information is *NOT PROFESSIONAL* and should always be fact-checked!

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  #1  
Old 10-27-2016, 03:01 PM
Mrs.Graham1120 Mrs.Graham1120 is offline
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Default My bf is in jail and trying to get into phoenix house and probation instead

So my children's father had a very bad drug problem with pain killers and I'm result stole and pawned a lot of stuff got abusive with me landing him in jail. I know that it was all because he was addicted to pills. He is in jail waiting to see what's going to happen.he did already go to prison for the same thing about a year and a half but got out and went back to his old ways because of his addiction the victims are his own sister and brother in law his sister wants him in rehab to help him cuz she knows he did what he did because for the addiction he is trying to get into the phoenix house and probation we're in Jacksonville Florida I'm wondering the chances of him getting rehab and probation and what I can do
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Old 10-27-2016, 09:31 PM
Cdub Cdub is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Graham1120 View Post
So my children's father had a very bad drug problem with pain killers and I'm result stole and pawned a lot of stuff got abusive with me landing him in jail. I know that it was all because he was addicted to pills. He is in jail waiting to see what's going to happen.he did already go to prison for the same thing about a year and a half but got out and went back to his old ways because of his addiction the victims are his own sister and brother in law his sister wants him in rehab to help him cuz she knows he did what he did because for the addiction he is trying to get into the phoenix house and probation we're in Jacksonville Florida I'm wondering the chances of him getting rehab and probation and what I can do
Get help for yourself and your children.

He has made his bed, and he is going to have to live with it. The court probably gave him something of a break the first time, but the fact he didn't get successful rehab on his own will make the court see him as a poor risk for a second chance this time.

You really can't do much to help him. Neither can any of his other family. He made this bed, and now the court is going to make him sleep in it.
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Old 10-28-2016, 01:38 PM
Mrs.Graham1120 Mrs.Graham1120 is offline
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Default Family

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Get help for yourself and your children.

He has made his bed, and he is going to have to live with it. The court probably gave him something of a break the first time, but the fact he didn't get successful rehab on his own will make the court see him as a poor risk for a second chance this time.

You really can't do much to help him. Neither can any of his other family. He made this bed, and now the court is going to make him sleep in it.

I understand what your saying and why but addiction is a decease not a choice once it's out of control it's hard to deal with alone and there were a lot of other factors of why he got back on drugs I'm not saying what he did was okay by any means it was wrong and he should have got help but there was a lot more to it. And we have kids now. We are a family. Yes I do love him I always will. And you don't just up and leave someone when they need help. He needs support to get threw this and change. He does want to change for me and his kids to have his family back. And even if we weren't together he needs to have support to be successful in turning his life around. Just leaving him doesn't help with his recovery. So for you to tell me to just leave and worry about my kids shows that you don't know what your talking about and shouldn't be giving advice. He needs his kids and family as much as we need him.
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Old 10-28-2016, 01:53 PM
Cdub Cdub is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrs.Graham1120 View Post
I understand what your saying and why but addiction is a decease not a choice once it's out of control it's hard to deal with alone and there were a lot of other factors of why he got back on drugs I'm not saying what he did was okay by any means it was wrong and he should have got help but there was a lot more to it. And we have kids now. We are a family. Yes I do love him I always will. And you don't just up and leave someone when they need help. He needs support to get threw this and change. He does want to change for me and his kids to have his family back. And even if we weren't together he needs to have support to be successful in turning his life around. Just leaving him doesn't help with his recovery. So for you to tell me to just leave and worry about my kids shows that you don't know what your talking about and shouldn't be giving advice. He needs his kids and family as much as we need him.

You said he was abusive towards you and that you have children. He obviously will not make decisions that are in your children's best interest, so that leaves it up to you to make those decisions. The children can't protect themselves, and he won't. You can make tough choices for your kids, or you can leave them in harm's way.

For now, the court will make those decisions. If he has been to prison before, then the chances of him getting probation this time without additional years inside are very low. You will be seen by the court as a victim, and if you ask the court to go easy on him, the court will see you as a victim in denial.

If the court believes you are a victim in denial, the court will go out of its way to protect you and especially the children.

Once you have received counseling and he has shown himself capable of keeping himself clean, if you want to resume the relationship, that is your choice.

If you put your kids back in that environment, you are doing just as much to endanger them as he is.

And you won't be the first woman with a similar story for the court. The almost never buy it.
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Old 11-04-2016, 10:26 PM
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Anjewel Anjewel is offline
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I am digging on what Cdub is saying. It's all true.

I understand what you are saying about his recovery...as I am in that useless trap with an addict myself. But, I don't have children with him and the ONLY time he has the ignorance to be mean to me is on the phone when he's fallen off the wagon.

I'm an addict, myself. And, I am speaking from all kinds of experience when I say, there is absolutely NOTHING you or the kids can do for him. He must decide in his own mind he's had enough and be done with it on his own. Losing you and the kids temporarily may be just the thing he needs to make that happen for him in his own mind. Really.

I know about addiction, I know about being with one and I know about crutches and enabling and excuses and reasons. I do, but it's a vicious cycle none of my kids have ever witnessed.

I am not telling you to leave him. That's on you and it's your business. And, I will support what ever decision you make.

Now, to your OT, as far as getting to treatment...Marty's mom tried everything in her power, including pleading with the judge and he was SUPPOSED to get treatment. But, never happened.

Addiction is a disease. It's a vicious, evil, lonely disease. But, it can be held at bay with the right mind frame, surroundings and support, maybe support at a distance for a while, never the less...and, it's hard, oh my some days are harder than others, but if he is really ready he can do it, on his own. Because you know, I think most of us have to lose everything and find some self love to do it for ourselves.
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