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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: IF YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND GOT LIFE W/ NO CHANCE OF PAROLE WOULD U STICK AROUND?
YES 100% 156 41.16%
I'D STILL TRY TO VISIT SEND MONEY OR WRITE BUT I WOULD START MY SEARCH FOR SOMEONE NEW 156 41.16%
NO I STILL HAVE SO MUCH OF MY LIFE AHEAD OF ME 67 17.68%
Voters: 379. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 01-16-2011, 08:38 PM
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so your content with never having sex again in your life or are you allowed to cheat? Unless youve been a virgin all ur life and you just dont care about sex I dont see anyone never being able to experiance that ever again in life JMO
Are you saying women can't remain celibate? What about the long haul ladies?What about women that don't define a relationship by it's sex life?

Just thoughts to ponder.
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  #52  
Old 01-16-2011, 08:44 PM
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I used to think like this that being older was easier in terms of doing a bid. But it's not. I'm older and I still got good years ahead of me. I realized all years are good years. For the last 10, I've been mourning my exhusband. But now I just want someone to take me out to dinner and a show, tell me he's got the mortgage covered and I can go shopping with my money if I want to.

So no, my answer is no.
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  #53  
Old 01-16-2011, 08:53 PM
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Right now I cant picture myself with anyone else noone else in the world makes me feel the way he does
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  #54  
Old 01-16-2011, 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by LoveBuggy View Post
Are you saying women can't remain celibate? What about the long haul ladies?What about women that don't define a relationship by it's sex life?

Just thoughts to ponder.
no thats not what I'm saying bcuz I'm celibate right now and I will remain that way until my man comes home but I'd be lying if I said I was going to go the rest of my life without it.... if ur 60+ I can understand it... not to be mean but I think anyone else who says they're gonna wait is full of ish I'm just speaking my mind and cant do anything but... If your 22 dont have kids but want one and ur boyfriend has life ur full of it if ur claiming ur not going to have sex with someone else period
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  #55  
Old 01-16-2011, 09:00 PM
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no thats not what I'm saying bcuz I'm celibate right now and I will remain that way until my man comes home but I'd be lying if I said I was going to go the rest of my life without it.... if ur 60+ I can understand it... not to be mean but I think anyone else who says they're gonna wait is full of ish I'm just speaking my mind and cant do anything but... If your 22 dont have kids but want one and ur boyfriend has life ur full of it if ur claiming ur not going to have sex with someone else period
Maybe they will or maybe the won't wait faithfully. Hell I think people question me waiting and keeping my zipper up. When a woman states that she will remain faithful on here she isn't lying. She believes in her heart she will wait, be faithful ect. Who are we to tell her she is in denial or wrong? This is for support right? Not to question women if they can actually remain faithful.
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Last edited by LoveBuggy; 01-16-2011 at 09:02 PM..
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  #56  
Old 01-16-2011, 09:21 PM
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Maybe they will or maybe the won't. When a woman states that she will on here she isn't lying. She believes in her heart she will wait, be faithful ect. Who are we to tell her she is in denial or wrong? This is for support right? Not to question women if they can actually remain faithful.

I'm not questioning anyone I'm stating my own opinion which I am entitled to do... I guess I feel this way bcuz 2 girls that claimed to love my cousin (who is serving life) so much with all their heart and was gonna stick by him pretty much ran out on him am I wrong to put everyone in the same catagory bcuz two weak women screwed over my cousin... yeah maybe... but to me if your really not gonna be there dont say you are just be honest they really dont know what they do to ppl by doing that
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  #57  
Old 01-17-2011, 12:11 AM
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I'm not questioning anyone I'm stating my own opinion which I am entitled to do... I guess I feel this way bcuz 2 girls that claimed to love my cousin (who is serving life) so much with all their heart and was gonna stick by him pretty much ran out on him am I wrong to put everyone in the same catagory bcuz two weak women screwed over my cousin... yeah maybe... but to me if your really not gonna be there dont say you are just be honest they really dont know what they do to ppl by doing that
Im sorry to hear that about your cousin but (as you pointed out) its wrong to ascribe those ladies failings to all women in a relationship w/ a lifer. there are alot of us who do this and it works for us.
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  #58  
Old 01-17-2011, 12:34 AM
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Im sorry to hear that about your cousin but (as you pointed out) its wrong to ascribe those ladies failings to all women in a relationship w/ a lifer. there are alot of us who do this and it works for us.
well do you think u can find me one for my cousin lol
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  #59  
Old 01-17-2011, 12:36 AM
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I chose two but that is really what I would not do. I would still write and send money occasionally but I would not visit at all. I would have to do me.
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  #60  
Old 01-17-2011, 01:00 AM
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I think it's funny how everyone is saying they'd not stick around but they'd write, send money and occassionally visit. Then that would turn us into those dreaded ex girlfriends we write threads about, "ugh she wants to see him after all these years." He'll be with someone else (hopefully) doing his MWI relationship cuz his original girl left him and the ex will become the intruder. I think if you leave him, leave him. I remember having to deal with his 1st love who kept in touch with him and called herself his best friend, his baby mama who occassionally visit, wrote, sent money, etc. And the ex girlfriends who popped in and out to see if things had broken up with me and they could get back in.
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  #61  
Old 01-17-2011, 03:07 AM
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I think being that me and my guy are MWI makes a difference in whether I could or not. We are not married and at this point I feel when he comes home that he needs to live by the rules and laws of the outside world if he really loves me as he says he does. I at this moment feel I will not do this again no matter how much time he would get, but after he comes home and we have lived some of our life together I don't know how I would truly feel because I know how much IN LOVE with him I am now and that will only get stronger once we are together as a family.
So I voted the stay friends answer but I PRAY I never have to truly answer this question !!!
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  #62  
Old 01-17-2011, 01:03 PM
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i would always be there for him because i love him and we have been married for almost 9 years but i love myself too and i dont deserve to be alone forever because of something he did!!! hard decision but i would do what was best for me
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  #63  
Old 01-17-2011, 01:12 PM
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My husband is doing 57 years to life..no possibility of parole..he's in calipatria..been there a little over a year..but he's been locked up for four years now altogether..I stuck around for bout a year and a half when he first got locked up in Dec 2006..got married in the jail he was at in 2007..we have 3 children together..but the youngest don't know him..I was pregnant when he was arrested..I can't tell u how much this has changed my life! But anyways I did end up finding someone else bout a year and a half later..wasn't even married for a year yet..but it was because I started realizing the reality of the situation..he was never getting out and sure enough he was convicted in 2008..so young to throw his life away..but the point is..its hard..I stuck thru it but it was hard..hard to see him that way..it hurt everytime I seen him..and I was dedicated..there twice a week cuz it was not too far..but now..I haven't seen him in 2 years..but we barely starting writing again..he's always had my heart and I've always been in love with him...I just needed someone there at the time..but now..I don't know what to think..
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  #64  
Old 01-17-2011, 03:45 PM
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If I chose to do it I could without cheating. The only thing about sex that appeals to me is the emotion and closeness that I share with my HUSBAND while doing it. Otherwise the thought makes me uncomfortable. JMO
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  #65  
Old 01-17-2011, 05:11 PM
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I couldn't do it. I love J very much but I couldn't keep doing this for that long. That is a very long time. My love for him wouldn't change and I would continue writing him. It would be hard to break it off but I would have to do it for myself. Actually I never thought I would wait on a man in jail and here I am doing it now. But... I know that he's going to be home soon so that helps. He was sentenced to 7.5 years and if I knew that he was going to be in that long I would have to break it off as well. We weren't officially together when he got locked up so it's a little different for me than for most of you.
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  #66  
Old 01-17-2011, 06:14 PM
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I'm 45 my ole man has life no parole we keep hope! But I can't say what tomorrow holds. We take it one day at a time. I love him and he loves me buuuuut is that enough? I can't be 100% ill stand by anyone I didn't birth.
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  #67  
Old 01-17-2011, 06:27 PM
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Estelli u hit the nail on the head. I want someone to go places with, change my light bulbs,hold my hand when I'm scared at the doctor, I've got to have major surg in a few weeks and if my son can't come I'm ALONE so its way beyond sex for us older ones. My grandma said she wanted a companion and she was 80! It wasn't about sex I'm sure.
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Old 01-17-2011, 06:40 PM
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It's a real possibility that my man could get LWOP. Regardless of what kind of time he gets or doesn't get I'll be doing it with him. Can't imagine my life without him. We've been together, apart, & back together and I don't wanna do it without him. He's the love of my life.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:16 PM
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We had this conversation when we were in the pre-sentencing (sic?) portion of the program...he said if he got anything excessive, he didn't want me to wait for him, that it wasn't fair to me. He also said that wouldn't stop him from finding me when he did get out and winning me over all over again but that he couldn't ask me to suspend my life because of this crap.
Luckily, his sentence isn't "excessive", so we never had to argue about it
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:24 PM
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If i was faced with this situation I would have to say no.
As much as i love my hubby I couldnt spend the rest of my life "alone". Im way to young (20) to make such a huge sacrafice. I would still keep in touch and possibly visit and be friends with him tho. I pray this never happens tho cus i will be absolutely devistated.
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  #71  
Old 01-17-2011, 07:37 PM
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No I don't even wanna wait the two years he is going to be in. I wouldn't wait 5 years and over
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  #72  
Old 01-17-2011, 08:02 PM
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I would have married him anyway even if he had life. Now that I have been at this awhile I have thought it must be beyond hard for ladies with lifers. The main point that helps me is this is a temporary situation--and we talk about what we will do when he gets out. If he was not getting out and *this* was the way it would always be, it would be so hard. I have alot of respect for ladies that deal with that.
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  #73  
Old 01-17-2011, 09:35 PM
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That's a tough question.. I never thought I'd be with someone in jail & here I am! I wouldn't know for sure unless I was in that position.
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:15 AM
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Yes I would.
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  #75  
Old 01-18-2011, 05:08 PM
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No, I wouldn't .
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