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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: IF YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND GOT LIFE W/ NO CHANCE OF PAROLE WOULD U STICK AROUND?
YES 100% 156 41.16%
I'D STILL TRY TO VISIT SEND MONEY OR WRITE BUT I WOULD START MY SEARCH FOR SOMEONE NEW 156 41.16%
NO I STILL HAVE SO MUCH OF MY LIFE AHEAD OF ME 67 17.68%
Voters: 379. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 01-16-2011, 01:24 PM
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Mad props to those who do it, because I could not. He will be gone for much too long as it is now, and I need him here with me.
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  #27  
Old 01-16-2011, 01:24 PM
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For whatever reason my husband and I have had this conversation before....he would not want me to be alone the rest of my life. So if life had been the case I wouldnt look for a replacement but if something fell in my lap I'd keep an open mind and I would continue to write, visit, and send money as I could....wow, thank goodness I'm not really faced with this sisuation.
Praise to the girls that have the strength to stay with a lifer.
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  #28  
Old 01-16-2011, 01:36 PM
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I used to say that if anything happened and he went back...................we live in a 3 strike state and he is on his 2nd strike.............it would be for life, I would walk. Things change, one never knows what they would do. Since he and I are getting married in June, I would have to stay with him wouldn't I? Marriage is not a convience, it is a committment..........one I am making with my whole heart and my eyes wide open.
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  #29  
Old 01-16-2011, 01:40 PM
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I think I would stay with Him but not quite 100% sure. More like 99%.
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  #30  
Old 01-16-2011, 01:59 PM
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Yes for sure for sure ;-) we are already doing 30 theres no way ide ever leave him but we is older & got alot of kids and been threw hell n back lol actuly hes told me that he gots to much time and i told him i wouldnt care if he was doing life ide stell wait hes worth the wait
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  #31  
Old 01-16-2011, 02:08 PM
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I still don't know. This question brings up a lot of emotion for me, as my man was facing 3 life sentences. All I could do at the time was promise myself that I would see him through trial and be by his side. I decided that I didn't have to make a decision until he was actually sentenced to life. I had many days where I struggled back and forth with thoughts of our future together. Fortunately, God was shinning down on us and I never had to make a decision. =) It is so easy to say, "I would do this or that" but when you are actually in those shoes... it's a totally different ball game.
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  #32  
Old 01-16-2011, 02:33 PM
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If it was life w/o parole then honestly no I don't think I would I really couldn't spend the my life until the day I died alone without my partner beside me !
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  #33  
Old 01-16-2011, 02:46 PM
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I honestly would not stay. I know people say you don't know what you would do until you're actually faced with the situation, but while he was in county, he was facing a large sentence anyway. Forty years is a lot of years, and even though he won't do the full forty, the sentence remaining is still over twenty. That's a lot of years to wait for someone. So, no, I wouldn't wait if he'd received life. And I feel it would be selfish on his part to even ask me to wait.
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  #34  
Old 01-16-2011, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by tchavon1984 View Post
four years and life...... No where near the same.... You've got it good
Gina, correct me if I'm off base, but what I got out of her post is that you never know what you can do until you are in that situation. I honestly have no idea if I could do life without parole. Right now two years feels like forever and my ticker doesn't seem to be going anywhere. It's not something we've talked about because it's currently not an issue, but if it was on the table we'd be having serious conversations about it and what each of us wanted/expected.
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  #35  
Old 01-16-2011, 04:06 PM
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I will say that I would be right by his side! I want to spend the rest of my life with him...whether that be thru phone calls & visitation or with him by side every night. I have so many people ask how I can be alone while he is incarcerated. I simply tell them that I don't feel alone all the time because he is never out of my heart or mind.
However, when faced with the situation I'm sure a million thoughts & scenerios would come into play.
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  #36  
Old 01-16-2011, 04:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil peep View Post
Gina, correct me if I'm off base, but what I got out of her post is that you never know what you can do until you are in that situation. I honestly have no idea if I could do life without parole. Right now two years feels like forever and my ticker doesn't seem to be going anywhere. It's not something we've talked about because it's currently not an issue, but if it was on the table we'd be having serious conversations about it and what each of us wanted/expected.
Exactly! I guess I wasn't very clear. Some men are worth waiting for. Doesn't mean I could or would. Just means that I never thought I would be celibate waiting 4 years for a man. He's just not any man so it makes it easier to wait.

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  #37  
Old 01-16-2011, 04:09 PM
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Hell no. I would still support him in some ways but I would have to move on. I admire the lifer ladies. There is no way that I could do that especially without trailer visits.
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  #38  
Old 01-16-2011, 04:20 PM
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This is such an aweful question, I hate thinking about it too. I'm going to say that it depends on the charge. If he did something selfish that gave him that charge then I would have to say that I would support him by writting to him, visiting him, and sending money. But I would have to divorce him, not right away but I'm only 22 and I want a life and more children, mostly children. I support him, even if my new husband didnt appove of it because he was here first.
Now if it was something like this own, where he was doing something for what he thought was for us, and his intentions are good, then yes. I would stand by him because that's what I signed up for when we got married.
But it's impossible to say 100% for sure. I just pray that I never have to face that desicion.
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  #39  
Old 01-16-2011, 06:30 PM
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He's got 18 years and I'm waiting I'm going to be in my 40's when he comes home currently so if he did get life I would we have 4 kids plus I'm close to his family I would feel horrible if I left him do to his sentence
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  #40  
Old 01-16-2011, 06:42 PM
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He's got 18 years and I'm waiting I'm going to be in my 40's when he comes home currently so if he did get life I would we have 4 kids plus I'm close to his family I would feel horrible if I left him do to his sentence
how long has he been in?
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  #41  
Old 01-16-2011, 06:44 PM
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Hell no I'm sorry guys but this is the last prison bid I will EVER. Do its not for @ all if I didn't love my man so much I wouldn't be doin this onE but I couldn't do life I jus couldn't I'm miserable all the time other couple make me feel so damn lonley @ times and I stress. My mAn out now. Because I still feel like he has still emotional obligations to me I doubt he would. Even want me to do another bid. With em lol!!!
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Old 01-16-2011, 06:48 PM
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Mine is doing 25 to life and I plan on being there every step of the way even if he is never granted parolee. I love him to much to walk away. I couldn't imagine life with out him. I know he feels the same way
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  #43  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:15 PM
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Hell no I'm sorry guys but this is the last prison bid I will EVER. Do its not for @ all if I didn't love my man so much I wouldn't be doin this onE but I couldn't do life I jus couldn't I'm miserable all the time other couple make me feel so damn lonley @ times and I stress. My mAn out now. Because I still feel like he has still emotional obligations to me I doubt he would. Even want me to do another bid. With em lol!!!

I know I may be wrong for saying this I love my boyfriend to death and thats why I made the choice to be by his side 100% while he does his time but I dont care, if there is a next time which I'm praying to God there wont be I cant do it ok well maybe a year but anything more then that I cant one of the first things I told him was that if I ever had another boyfriend that got locked up I wouldnt be there I've delbt with my father being in and out of jail my whole life so theres a little resentment there I guess But I'm only 26 I have no kids never been married I have so much of my life ahead of me I dont want to spend that waiting around for someone while they do time bcuz they made the wrong choices in life.
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  #44  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:41 PM
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My Fiance has life and YES! I am 100% his....I can see why some people would hesitate on this question but its just one of those things that you think you could never do untill its infront of you and then you find you can. You just have to except it as your reality and commit to it. You can just enjoy the relationship and love the person because your not preocupied with waiting for a date in the future or living for "someday". For me what we have is amazing and I am hapier than I have ever been. What you give up is nothing compared to what you get. All you ladies that think you couldnt do it...dont be so hard on your selves....you could if it was necessary.
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  #45  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:44 PM
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Someone posted earlier that your age at the time of the incarceration would make a difference. I agree wholeheartedly. This is no life for a young person. You are basically giving up all of your "good" years. They go fast enough as it is and you need to enjoy your life not sit around waiting on someone that may never get out.
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  #46  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:48 PM
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I couldn't feel happy or complete with anyone but my husband, so with out a doubt yes I would stay by my mans side forever I was made for him n he was made for me
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  #47  
Old 01-16-2011, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dulcita View Post
My Fiance has life and YES! I am 100% his....I can see why some people would hesitate on this question but its just one of those things that you think you could never do untill its infront of you and then you find you can. You just have to except it as your reality and commit to it. You can just enjoy the relationship and love the person because your not preocupied with waiting for a date in the future or living for "someday". For me what we have is amazing and I am hapier than I have ever been. What you give up is nothing compared to what you get. All you ladies that think you couldnt do it...dont be so hard on your selves....you could if it was necessary.


so your content with never having sex again in your life or are you allowed to cheat? Unless youve been a virgin all ur life and you just dont care about sex I dont see anyone never being able to experiance that ever again in life JMO
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Old 01-16-2011, 08:05 PM
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  #49  
Old 01-16-2011, 08:17 PM
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Sex to me isn't the issue. Yeah I can't wait to have sex with my guy, I want us to have a bunch of kids and whatnot, but I'm okay without sex. We have phone dates, we do letters, we make it work. Sure I enjoy sex like everyone else, but it doesn't make or break our relationship. So yeah if I had to go without sex for the rest of my life, that I wouldn't have a problem with.
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  #50  
Old 01-16-2011, 08:36 PM
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Sex to me isn't the issue. Yeah I can't wait to have sex with my guy, I want us to have a bunch of kids and whatnot, but I'm okay without sex. We have phone dates, we do letters, we make it work. Sure I enjoy sex like everyone else, but it doesn't make or break our relationship. So yeah if I had to go without sex for the rest of my life, that I wouldn't have a problem with.

sex doesnt make or break our relationship either but I cant see myself not having any for the rest of my life and I'd be lying if I said that I could
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