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  #1  
Old 02-26-2008, 09:44 PM
RASHEED'S LOVE RASHEED'S LOVE is offline
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Default I Found Out He's Writing Another Girl

EARLIER TODAY I FOUND OUT FROM MY BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER THAT HE IS WRITTING ANOTHER GIRL-BEFORE HE WENT IN WE HAD PROBLEMS ABOUT THIS HE WAS MESSIN' WITH HER AND HE TOLD ME I WAS NOTHING AND IT'S OVER AND NOW I'M FEELING LIKE A FOOL BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST ALL THIS THAT DURING HIS BID WE WERE GONNA TRY TO BUILD ON THINGS AND NOW THIS -I'M HURT BECAUSE I LOVE HIM -ANGRY BECAUSE I FELL FOR A DUMB LINE -HOW STUPID COULD I BE -NOW I HAVE TO CONFRONT HIM AND I DON'T THINK I WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING HE HAS TO SAY
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  #2  
Old 02-26-2008, 09:47 PM
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oh wow. im sorry hunnie. i have no idea what i would do if malvern was writting another female. i believe i would flip out on him. i wish i had some advice for you...but im here if you need someone to talk to.
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:53 PM
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sorry to hear this. just confront him with it and listen to what he says. myself, personally, i believe that everything is able to be worked out. you cant go into it just saying "im not going to believe anything he has to say." hear him out. i used to worry about this, but then got over it, because there is no way to stop him from writing others. he is very honest with me about it though, he sends me the letters that he gets when he is in contact with his ex, and i talk with his family on a daily basis -- i know who he is coming home to. i also know that because of my schedule i am not able to write him as often, so i dont blame him for wanting to get mail on the regular! hang in there im sure everything will work out! just stay positive! good luck!
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:53 PM
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wow I'm sorry you got hurt. at least you know and can decide how you want to handle it. Some guys mom would keep it a secret. What did she say was her reason for telling you?
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Old 02-26-2008, 10:36 PM
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Sorry to hear you going thru this but lovin gave some great advice. Listen to what he has to say about it and really listen to all he says. After hearing what he has to say, then decide if/what to do next. Whether you want to work on your relationship or not. How do you really know if what was told to you is true? If it is true, is it still happening or was this something that was done when the two of you were not together? There are all kinds of scenarios and situations that may come with this, you may not have the whole story.
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Old 02-26-2008, 10:44 PM
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I totally agree with what everybody is saying! But, at the same time, don't get suckered back into something that your heart, gut and soul says to run for the hills. Give him ONE chance..... listen, and if your gut (which is ALWAYS right) tells you he is lying, OR something ain't right, then let him go. But do give him a chance to give his side of the story, if there is one. GOOD LUCK!
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Old 02-26-2008, 10:45 PM
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I totally agree with what everybody is saying! But, at the same time, don't get suckered back into something that your heart, gut and soul says to run for the hills. Give him ONE chance..... listen, and if your gut (which is ALWAYS right) tells you he is lying, OR something ain't right, then let him go. But do give him a chance to give his side of the story, if there is one. GOOD LUCK!
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Old 02-27-2008, 12:23 AM
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Wow that truly bites.. I dunno what to tell ya really the other girls have it covered...Sorry your hurtin right now. Hope yous get it sorted the way you'd like.
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Old 02-27-2008, 09:00 AM
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I say leave it alone or walk. Because you already confronted him about it before and nothing happened different. So how many times are you going to get upset and confront him and he still not going to stop.
I very rarely hear of dudes in prison truly giving up a girl thats writing them. Its like throwing away a gold coin in there.
Besides whats a letter from a girl when you can go out on dates with free dudes?
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Old 02-27-2008, 09:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wobabi
I say leave it alone or walk. Because you already confronted him about it before and nothing happened different. So how many times are you going to get upset and confront him and he still not going to stop.
I very rarely hear of dudes in prison truly giving up a girl thats writing them. Its like throwing away a gold coin in there.
Besides whats a letter from a girl when you can go out on dates with free dudes?

i mean really what is there to say. you said this is not the first time you guys had it out about this female so its evident he cant seem to let this female go why waste your time. it takes 2 to work things out and it doesnt look like the tought has crossed his mind and hes still up to his old tricks that is if he ever stopped . Baby girl only you know what you can and cannot put up with so good luck in what ever decision you make.

it is what it is
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  #11  
Old 02-27-2008, 09:17 AM
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I Am So Sorry You Are Hurting. I Have Never Been In That Situation, But I Feel That I Would Give Him The Chance To Explain, Then Maybe Tell Him We Can Be Friends, But You Need To Look For Someone Dependable, Someone You Can Trust, If You Feel He Is Being Dishonest With You. I Used To Write An Inmate, But I Knew Up Front That I Was Just A Pen Pal And He Was Writing Others. He Was Using The Others For Money, Conning Them. I Never Send Money. But, Be Careful, Your Heart Is Hurting And You Have Already Said You Love Him. That Alone Makes You Vuneralbe
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Old 02-27-2008, 10:09 AM
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ONE more chance? I think she already gave him one chance when it comes to this female. I know it hurts but sometimes it is just better to move on. I will use my favorite saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" How many times is enough to let the man get away with something. A man will only do what we let him get away with right? And I am speaking from experience. Yes, you love this man and it is hard to walk away when you have those feelings but are you feeling the love back? I will tell you what, if I knew then what I know now in my past relationships!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Junior'sQueen
I totally agree with what everybody is saying! But, at the same time, don't get suckered back into something that your heart, gut and soul says to run for the hills. Give him ONE chance..... listen, and if your gut (which is ALWAYS right) tells you he is lying, OR something ain't right, then let him go. But do give him a chance to give his side of the story, if there is one. GOOD LUCK!
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Old 02-27-2008, 10:31 AM
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Default Hang in there Rasheed

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovinmybay
sorry to hear this. just confront him with it and listen to what he says. myself, personally, i believe that everything is able to be worked out. you cant go into it just saying "im not going to believe anything he has to say." hear him out. i used to worry about this, but then got over it, because there is no way to stop him from writing others. he is very honest with me about it though, he sends me the letters that he gets when he is in contact with his ex, and i talk with his family on a daily basis -- i know who he is coming home to. i also know that because of my schedule i am not able to write him as often, so i dont blame him for wanting to get mail on the regular! hang in there im sure everything will work out! just stay positive! good luck!
I really love this advice & couldn't agree more. But I also finding it disturbing that his mother would hurt you like that. What were her motives in telling you this? I know from time to time, my husband gets letters from others either from childhood friends or from that stupid pen-pal list that he joined way before I came along. But he does tell me about them & even sends the letters to me. I use to trip over it in the beginning, but not any longer. I am the one who gets to visit every time the doors open - not them. I am the one who he calls - not them. As his wife, I have been allowed to see his call list, his visit list, hell even how much money is on his books. I always tease him that he needs to write these biatches back & tell them to send US money if they want to write to my husband. The ones that crack me up the most are the "form letters" he gets from the women in all these 3rd world countires looking to get married so they can come to America. So approach him from your heart & work this out or it will tear YOU apaprt. Enjoy your day & don't sweat the small stuff....
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:01 PM
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Let him explain, and then read him from one side of that visiting room to the other! Go home, have a good cry, then get dressed and go out and party, hell have one for me. You are a Queen and you need a King by your side not the court jester! Keep it moving girl, this too will pass!
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:10 PM
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Junior'sQueen and babi said the rock bottom truth
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:13 PM
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If you knew he was messin around with her before he went to prison and now you find out that he is writing to her now that he's on lock he lied then or he'll lie now or both. Interesting that you found out from his mother...

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Old 03-01-2008, 06:23 PM
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I'm curious as to the context in which his mother told you. I'm thinking she knows if he's involved with her still, or it was just a friendly letter. Surely you asked her some questions?
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Old 03-01-2008, 08:14 PM
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girl i no what u are going through and im sorry
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Old 03-07-2008, 12:44 AM
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I think you need to really decide on whether you should stay or not..it sounds like hurt over and over again, make a decision. I know the pain well. I wish you well.
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Old 03-07-2008, 09:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyelise
Let him explain, and then read him from one side of that visiting room to the other! Go home, have a good cry, then get dressed and go out and party, hell have one for me. You are a Queen and you need a King by your side not the court jester! Keep it moving girl, this too will pass!
I like that! Do that!
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  #21  
Old 03-07-2008, 11:31 AM
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girl, im sorry you are so hurt by this. everything the ladies on here said is some really good advise, but the thought that keeps crossing my mind is how close are you with his mother? i mean, i know some moms just dont like someone taking their little boy away from them, and will do anything to keep you away. but if your close, maybe she cares about your well being also. who knows, but if i were you, id talk to him about it... tell him to lay the whole truth out on the table and if he doesnt your walking, he might get it through his head your not going to wait to get your heart broken later.
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  #22  
Old 03-07-2008, 11:45 AM
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My Thoughts:
What was the mom's motive? Are you close with her? Does she dislike you or the other girl more?

If he cheated with that same girl and you were suppose to be working to get past the problem with her, why in the hell would he ever write that female back? Even a friendly letter would have pissed me off! I could see listening to his side of the story if it was a completely different female that he didn't already have sex with while you was together, but not in this situation. Don't do this time with a man that has cheated on you before and is writing to the female he cheated with and then when he comes home...he cheats with her again. Your time would be better used waiting for Mr. Right.
Don't seek love because it will only take longer to come find you. You are the only one that knows your man. You know deep down in your heart if he is a good man or a dirty bastard!! You already know the choice you SHOULD make but love is hard and blind and makes every choice so hard. Good Luck with everything. I hope things work out for you so that YOU are happy.
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