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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Does your man every cry to you?
Yes 226 65.51%
No 119 34.49%
Voters: 345. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 05-10-2008, 09:24 AM
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I've seen him cry a few times. We've shared all kinds of emotions through this thing. When he first went in I asked him if he was okay with showing his emotions like that in there because I had heard it can be dangerous. I was also told that they should be careful about talking too lovey dovey with their women. He set me straight on that one! He said, "Woman, no ones gonna tell me how to talk to my girl when I'm in here. If they got a problem let 'em bring it." So, I don't worry.
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  #77  
Old 05-13-2008, 06:33 PM
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although he would have no problems admitting it, it was a very sensitive matter involving a relative...

but he has no problems getting a bit moist around the eye. that's a real man for ya. men have emotions, too. it's rough in there. and out here, too.
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  #78  
Old 05-13-2008, 06:44 PM
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my fiance has never cried to me but in one letter in january he did say that he cried himself to sleep because he thought he was losing me. i told him that it was not going to happen and i will be his and only his forever. the very next letter he officially proposed to me. the only other time was when i was crying before i had to leave a visit, i could see his eyes mist over but i know he tried to hide it to be strong for me. i love him very very very much
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  #79  
Old 05-13-2008, 07:20 PM
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WEll my man has not cried to me whiel he has been in but, he has cried when to me when he has been hom both times,he was just so frustarted and fed up and hurt..he used to cry to me all the time, I would just hold him....
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  #80  
Old 05-14-2008, 08:18 AM
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My man has cried once to me and that was when I told him our baby has cancer and that was only because I was crying and he hates to hear me cry and or see me cry he was hurt about our baby but he tries to stay focused on doing his time instead of letting the time do him
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  #81  
Old 05-14-2008, 09:20 AM
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He's cried to me a handful of times and its totally heartbreaking not being able to just take him away from it
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  #82  
Old 05-15-2008, 12:38 AM
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My husband has cried to me. It hurts to see him like that, but he has to pay for what he did.. He cries knowing that the one he love is out here all alone and its because of him. And right now its nothing he can do if im hurting in the middle of the night or if things get hard out here for me. And he really cried when i married him. He couldnt understand how a woman like me could marry a man in prison. I told him Love will make you do all sorts of things. Even this...... I love him so much and when Im a way and he cries we are so connected that i already know cause I taste salt!
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  #83  
Old 06-02-2008, 02:27 PM
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My husband has told me that he has cried but he has never cried to me!!
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  #84  
Old 06-02-2008, 05:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dwfighterva View Post
There is nothing wrong in showing raw emotion and asking for support from the person sharing your life. If he can't be real with you, then who with? I encourage him to tell me what he is feeling. Chances are, I already know, I just need him to verify I am on the right track. Life is hard in there and also on us out here. We deal with it the best way we know how. There is no shame in showing emotions.
I hear ya there dwfighterva....me and mine...well we talk about everything...the good the bad and the ugly..it's the way we stay so connected and keep the passion goin and mainly it keeps up that level of trust...he knows no matter when he calls i'm right here....but the depth of the conversations and the emotion that flows thru is just what we both need to keep each other close where we belong...in each other's hearts
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  #85  
Old 06-03-2008, 05:25 PM
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When my man first got sentenced he wrote me a letta sayin dat he had to cry( he got two life sentences in Fla where life is life) and i felt so bad cus i couldnt be there i could hold him( fla county jail does visitation by video) let him cry on my shoulder. But i understood where he was comin from and I kno he ALL MAN but he wont neva cry in front of me lol or on the phone he a mess
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  #86  
Old 06-22-2008, 06:01 PM
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Tyrone cried to me once. We were going through a really rough spot and had been fighting for about 3 months. One time in the visiting park I started crying because I thought that we were growing apart. He told me that he was afraid the more years he spent in DOC the more he was changing for the worse. That's when he broke. Tears were flowing down his face and he kept telling me over and over that he didn't want to be different, he wanted to be the man I fell in love with.
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  #87  
Old 06-22-2008, 06:12 PM
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He has not cried on the phone but he cried when I went to visit the first time. He was having a hard time dealing with the fact that his mother and grandmother are not following doctors orders and taking care of them selves and he is having a hard time worrying that something will happen to them while he is in there.
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  #88  
Old 06-22-2008, 09:18 PM
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My baby is one tough ass dude. He doesn't share emotions or feelings easily. That's why any emotion from him is mind blowing. He sometimes writes the most beautiful love letters to me and I cry because I know how much it took for him to write it. If he cried I'd cry along with him. Seeing a grown man cry is hard.
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  #89  
Old 06-23-2008, 08:21 AM
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Default I know exactly what you mean.

My bf just started his prison sentence a couple of weeks ago.. he is suppose 2 do 18months but if he gets into this shock program in december then he will only have 2 do a yr. This is first time ever in a prison environment and I have never seen him break down the way he has been lately. I am 18 and his is 19.. he is usually the strong one with postive thoughts but lately I have had to play that role. I dont know what to do or what to say and its killing me...He is worried he wont get into the program and all we can do is pray..sigh.. all i can say is that when he cries to you, TRY all you can to wait till you get off the fone to shed your own tears. Because them hearing YOU cry will only make them feel even worst...I try 2 make jokes.. or have music they he loves playing in the backround. I say things like "see you u soon" to let him know that he isnt in there 4ever...Just, keep it as postive and fun as possible. Remember, your the brightest moment of his day.
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  #90  
Old 06-23-2008, 09:54 PM
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i said yes because in the beginning- he did. not so much now though. weve come a long way from the beginning and i think now we have the mentality of "lets just do it and get through with it" so we try to focus on more of the better stuff. plus now he has some pretty good friends in there and sometimes he seems to be having more fun than i think he should be having. (although i am glad he is keeping high spirits) hes in a minimum yard...little to no politics.
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  #91  
Old 06-23-2008, 09:56 PM
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Since my husband has been down, I've seen him tear up once, when I finally got to the prison for the first visit after he was transfered. He was sent so far away, he thought I would never be able to get there. When we finally sat down and stared talking, he took a real deep breath and his eyes waterd up but he didn't cry -he couldn't talk either. He said "I didn't think I would see you again until I came home" I got him to talk about something else real quick because if he broke down, I would have too.
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  #92  
Old 06-24-2008, 08:51 AM
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He hasn't broken down to me yet, but I hadn't heard from him almost 3 weeks so I had his counselor get him to call me. His voice was so shaky the whole time like he was just holding it in barely. I try not to break down for him cuz I know that will make it worse for him. But, it was dang close. He's not very emotional in front of me so I don't really expect him to. I think that would be the danger signal if he did cry to me. I just try to keep him uplifted as much as I can and try to be super positive when he calls so he can relax & know that we'll be ok at home until he's here with us. Good poll!!
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  #93  
Old 06-28-2008, 11:14 AM
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Default You be his strength and encouragement

I gotta tough man but he has cried when he was out and it was because of his son's illness. I've have seen him comes to tears twice due to his son's condition. But what I will tell you is if he cried to me while inside, I would encourage him to hold on, he could do it. He has to do it - he did the crime and he has to do the time. I would tell him you can handle this although it's tough - you gotta understand the lesson.

Incarceration is hard, I don't care what anyone says. You couldn't even imagine the ignorance you run into. There are some inmates who think on a very low level and I get irritated with low level thinking. It would be extremely difficult for me as I would try to kick some knowledge to many inmates. Some would not comprehend, they would not have a clue. Then you have to deal with the CO's and some are real messed up individuals themselves. It is really a hard deal and boot camp will kick his behind. I really feel incarceration and rehabilitation needs to correlate in order to decrease the recidivism rate.

I guess your man's program is trying to breaking him down. They are doing that, I believe on purpose, only to rebuild him back up. It's a physical and mental game and probably harder than we can imagine. When he cries to you be his strength and encouragement. Remind him he's dealing with the consequences of his behavior and its all about learning the lesson.

He's strong, he can handle it.

Peace be unto you,

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  #94  
Old 06-28-2008, 12:24 PM
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Yes my hubby has cried to me once in the phone because he was worried and me and the family. He was the earner in the family so he always feels bad about not being able to provide now me and the kids. I just try to reassure him the we all love him and I enjoy working for us so we have a nice nest egg when this is all over. I'm ever the optimist and tell him the truth will come out and this will all be over with soon.
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  #95  
Old 06-29-2008, 10:31 AM
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Default he does

one day he told me about the time his father died from an overdose, the story pulled on my heart strings and i began crying and so did he, he has cried infront of me before when i had to leave and return to my country, they all the inmates took the piss out of him for that
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  #96  
Old 06-30-2008, 11:45 AM
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I have never seen him actually cry. I have seen tears well up in his eyes and have seen the pain there but he seriously is one tough guy so to speak. He was raised with that tough guys don't show emotion thing and it's been a hard thing for him to get over. He is getting better at openly expressing himself but it's a work in progress. Did I mention I love the guy ALOT!!!
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  #97  
Old 07-06-2008, 12:08 AM
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yes he does cry to me he tells me he's hurt andthey won' do anything for him . He also crys about what I'm doing out here while he's locked up. but I know he needs some were to vent and he only has me.
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  #98  
Old 07-06-2008, 08:18 AM
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No, my husband hasn't ever cried either and he's been down for almost 7 years. He says you can't do it in there, it shows weakness and that's not a good thing. I have cried and he is there for me, but I try not too, because I don't want to get him upset too. I'm sure he'll make up for it, when he comes home........
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  #99  
Old 07-10-2008, 09:43 AM
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yeah my man has done it a few times he starts off saying how much he misses being home with me and his kids but at the same time he understands that he has to do the time becasue he fucked up..... and yeah it hurts me that he starts to cry becasue come on now that's my man you know what i mean and it's funny because sometimes he trys to be al hard core about it saying that 9 months ain't shit and that it's not so hard but i know that deep down inside he is in pain and is only trying to hide it from me and his loves ones
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  #100  
Old 08-09-2008, 08:42 PM
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he doesnt cry about to me but he has told me that he will lay in his bed and cry at night sometimes. but whenever he is feeling really down and writes to me its always the "i am in here for something i didnt do! why am i here? i didnt do anything" and all that. he knows damn well that he did what he did and he knows that he is in there paying for what he did...it just gets hard and i guess that saying he didnt do it is his way of dealing with it. as manly as he thinks he is, i know he will cry when he gets out and we talk about it.
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