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  #1  
Old 09-06-2019, 12:56 AM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Default Intro--TorchMsRed from California

Hi there,

This is something I never thought I would be ding. My boyfriend has just been sentenced to 6 years and I am truly devastated. I cannot tell my family because they will never accept him when he gets back if they know where he was. I really need people to chat with.
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  #2  
Old 09-06-2019, 01:40 AM
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I'm sorry he makes you go through all of that but one thing I would like to tell you is that maybe you need to tell your family so they can be supportive?
Of course I don't know your history with him and your history with your family or even his history with your family but you can use all the support you can get.
6 years is a long time and then adding visitations, calls and maybe more, it's going to be hard to have to go through alone.
Stay strong and on this forum you'll find a lot of help, great people with tons of experience.
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Old 09-06-2019, 02:14 AM
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It's very devastating to have a LO incarcerated. You'll be doing the 6 years with him, but in a different way. It's not going to be easy but you'll eventually get the hang of things as time goes. Make sure to take care of YOU first and foremost!! Find ways to cope through and be very strong. Your guy going to need you to be strong just not for him, but for yourself as well. Learn to grow thicker skin it helps, not everyone going to be supportive. Sorry your unable to tell your family for understanding and support. You can always get support here at anytime. You are not alone!! Stay strong!!!
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Old 09-06-2019, 04:28 AM
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I'm sorry for what you both are facing. With the possibility of earning "good time", or parole, he won't be away for the entire 6 years either.
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Old 09-08-2019, 04:10 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I'm sorry he makes you go through all of that but one thing I would like to tell you is that maybe you need to tell your family so they can be supportive?
Of course I don't know your history with him and your history with your family or even his history with your family but you can use all the support you can get.
6 years is a long time and then adding visitations, calls and maybe more, it's going to be hard to have to go through alone.
Stay strong and on this forum you'll find a lot of help, great people with tons of experience.
Thanks for the input, Mizzy. I'm definitely looking forward to getting support from this forum! My family loves him, but if they knew he was in prison, they would be too disappointed to ever just see him for who his is rather than what he had done to get put there. Sadly, he is being punished for something that is many years in his past.
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  #6  
Old 09-08-2019, 04:14 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Originally Posted by keywii View Post
It's very devastating to have a LO incarcerated. You'll be doing the 6 years with him, but in a different way. It's not going to be easy but you'll eventually get the hang of things as time goes. Make sure to take care of YOU first and foremost!! Find ways to cope through and be very strong. Your guy going to need you to be strong just not for him, but for yourself as well. Learn to grow thicker skin it helps, not everyone going to be supportive. Sorry your unable to tell your family for understanding and support. You can always get support here at anytime. You are not alone!! Stay strong!!!
Thanks, Keywii. I will be getting my support here only, as no one at all knows. I need this to be something no one knows about him after he gets out. I do indeed feel as if I'm in my own kind of prison with this as well. We talk every day, but he has not yet gone into reception, which is something he has tried to explain to me. I think the calls will stop for at least 30 days. That makes me sad, but at least there is mail, yes?
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Old 09-08-2019, 04:16 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Originally Posted by fbopnomore View Post
Welcome to Prison Talk. I'm sorry for what you both are facing. With the possibility of earning "good time", or parole, he won't be away for the entire 6 years either.
Thanks, fbopnomore. He was telling me a bit about that as well. I don't want to get my hopes up too high for that, although he told me he might actually do as little as 3 years? What is "good time" Is that the same thing as time off for good behavior?
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Old 09-08-2019, 04:19 PM
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Yes, time off for good behavior, and for overcrowding. Some California prisoners only serve 1/2 of their sentences, and he should be able to find out from his counselor. Hope for the best, but don't expect it until he walks through the door.
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  #9  
Old 09-08-2019, 04:28 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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That is very good advice! Only the eyes and the senses tell MOST of the truth, I think.
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  #10  
Old 09-16-2019, 10:38 PM
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Sorry to hear about your boyfriend being locked up.. I totally understand about u not telling your family that he is locked up..you should find somebody you could talk to because you will need someone to hear you out... im not sure where he is but reception is a bitch and it can take a while for him to go to mainline... I know where my husband is they only allow one call a month and mail is slow at reception..you probably get his mail faster then he will get yours
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Old 09-18-2019, 06:08 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Originally Posted by valliz View Post
Sorry to hear about your boyfriend being locked up.. I totally understand about u not telling your family that he is locked up..you should find somebody you could talk to because you will need someone to hear you out... im not sure where he is but reception is a bitch and it can take a while for him to go to mainline... I know where my husband is they only allow one call a month and mail is slow at reception..you probably get his mail faster then he will get yours
Thanks, Valliz. We have been speaking on the phone almost daily while he is still in the county jail, but he did tell me all of that would change during reception, and after. Sadly, I used to think of hotels and weddings when I heard the word "reception," but now it's a whole new world. Does your family know? I would assume so; it would be harder explaining a husband's absence than a boyfriend's I suppose...
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Old 09-18-2019, 10:04 PM
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Yeah my family knows that's his locked up but I haven't really told him for how long and that his my husband.. just like your family my family doesn't understand why I would want to date a criminal as they say... So I just keep everything to myself and don't tell anyone anything about him.. I have found two good friends that I can talk to and don't judge me so I talk to them... If you ever want to talk just send me a message... If you don't mind me asking where is he
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Old 09-19-2019, 09:34 AM
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Welcome to PTO.
For more info for CA you can check out the ca forums
http://prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=127
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  #14  
Old 09-19-2019, 06:45 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valliz View Post
Yeah my family knows that's his locked up but I haven't really told him for how long and that his my husband.. just like your family my family doesn't understand why I would want to date a criminal as they say... So I just keep everything to myself and don't tell anyone anything about him.. I have found two good friends that I can talk to and don't judge me so I talk to them... If you ever want to talk just send me a message... If you don't mind me asking where is he

I don't mind at all. Right now, he is at the Pitchess Detention Center in Castaic. I'm hoping when he leaves there he goes to Chino. It will be closer to visit.
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Old 09-19-2019, 10:58 PM
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Oh okay! My man is at wasco. Wish you the best and like I said if you ever want to talk just send me a message
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Old 09-21-2019, 04:45 AM
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Welcome!
From one who has not been here very long, you are among friends,
I promise!

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  #17  
Old 09-24-2019, 05:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TorchMsRed View Post
Hi there,

This is something I never thought I would be ding. My boyfriend has just been sentenced to 6 years and I am truly devastated. I cannot tell my family because they will never accept him when he gets back if they know where he was. I really need people to chat with.
Hello TorchMsRed.
I'm sorry that you are going through this alone. My name is Christina also from California. Whatever support you need am here.!!!
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  #18  
Old 09-24-2019, 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted by valliz View Post
Oh okay! My man is at wasco. Wish you the best and like I said if you ever want to talk just send me a message
My husband was just transferred out of Wasco Reception to Susanville. Hope all is well. I'm here for any support as well.
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:53 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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My husband was just transferred out of Wasco Reception to Susanville. Hope all is well. I'm here for any support as well.
Hi Christy,

Thanks for your kind words. How long was your husband in reception?
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:54 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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Welcome!
From one who has not been here very long, you are among friends,
I promise!

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Hi Gypsy,

How long have you been here?
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  #21  
Old 09-25-2019, 02:28 PM
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Hi Christy,

Thanks for your kind words. How long was your husband in reception?
Almost 5 months. But he was just transferred out.
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Old 09-25-2019, 03:18 PM
TorchMsRed TorchMsRed is offline
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I cannot believe the amount of difference there seems to be; I'm reading some info that suggests as little as 30 days and then hearing yours and others input about much longer times. This is crazy. I was so hoping he would be placed, have time to send me the visitation paperwork and have my approval in place so I could hopefully see him before I leave the country in December!! Now it's looking like that might not happen at all. I wonder why there is so much discrepancy between different inmates' reception times...
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