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View Poll Results: Which is the hardest to deal with after being cheated on (if u stayed)?
Its hardest to forgive and forget the PAST 8 20.51%
Its hardest to deal with the pain of the PRESENT 3 7.69%
Its hardest with the constant worry of "what if's" in the FUTURE 12 30.77%
I have never gone back to a man who has cheated on me 16 41.03%
Voters: 39. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 09-19-2011, 02:17 PM
yin&yang4ever yin&yang4ever is offline
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Question If you have ever been cheated on, as a woman, whats the hardest....

If you have ever been cheated on, as a woman, whats the hardest part to have to deal with.... (If you chose to stay in the relationship)?
Is it the hardest part to forgive and forget the past?
Is it the hardest to deal with the pain of the present?
Or is it the hardest worrying about the "what if's" of the future?
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  #2  
Old 09-19-2011, 02:24 PM
Tuesday123 Tuesday123 is offline
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I think everything that you mentioned is at some stage an issue.

My ex husband swore his affair had ended, even the marriage counselor we chose to go to was telling me let it go when none of the issues had been brought to the table or dealt with.

With the help of a friend, and hiring a PI I learned it was infact no where near over, so I filed for a divorce.

Now his current wife of 6 years asked me 2 years ago, Do you know who veronica is? I was in shock. I said *******. Im so sorry. That SOB has been seeing his mistress for 13 years now!!!! She confirmed it when the other woman called the house thinking it was me. NOPE, Its the new wife.

I think what ultimately destroys the relationship is THE LIES. When a man swears he wants to make it work but he is full of sh*t.

Forgiving is one thing if both parties make a 100% effort to make it work, forgetting is in my eyes just not possible.




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Originally Posted by yin&yang4ever View Post
If you have ever been cheated on, as a woman, whats the hardest part to have to deal with.... (If you chose to stay in the relationship)?
Is it the hardest part to forgive and forget the past?
Is it the hardest to deal with the pain of the present?
Or is it the hardest worrying about the "what if's" of the future?
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  #3  
Old 09-19-2011, 02:30 PM
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To me the hardest is future situations because you find your self going back to him cheating and always find a way to relate to that. If you chose to stay even if you forgive him you can't forget and there's times when no matter how hard you try, it WILL be brought up! AND if he don't like it OR busts out with get over IT!!!!! then I guess he can take his ass somewhere else with that shit. You made your bed....now lay in it!!!!!!!!!!!

THERES NO ME WITHOUT YOU...01.07.2010
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  #4  
Old 09-19-2011, 02:35 PM
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I wouldnt stay with someone who cheated on me. If u let them get away with it once then they think its ok.
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  #5  
Old 09-19-2011, 04:01 PM
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Um I'm with Miss_A now. What is with you and all the cheating threads ??? Have you been cheated on recently?
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  #6  
Old 09-19-2011, 08:06 PM
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All of what you mentioned is hard.
Its up to you to forgive and forget and let it go... if you cant, then you should move on...
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  #7  
Old 09-19-2011, 08:10 PM
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yeah, LeStrange is on it...whats up with all the cheating threads???
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  #8  
Old 09-20-2011, 12:39 AM
yin&yang4ever yin&yang4ever is offline
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Talking I do appologize everyone! (lol)

To be honest with everyone I am kind of stuck in the ice age and this is the first time I have ever been on the internet (Except for love poetry. com when I was a teen!) LOL! (I ask my teen what is a face book??? HAHAHA SORRY Everyone! Never did the twitter thing or u tube thing or my space thing~ I know ~ Ice age!) I am just so intrigued by the different thoughts and opinions of everyone from every where! I'll come up with different questions I promise!
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  #9  
Old 09-20-2011, 01:03 AM
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yeah the cheating threads made me think you was another member who left us and came back with another name. LOL just cuz cheating threads were her thing.

but anyhow...I understand we are adults, we can cheat and still love our mate. It could be a one time mistake, etc. All forgiveable. What is not forgiveable are the lies, the sneaking around, the telling you I'll be working on something when they are at hotel slut du jour getting it on with someone else.

The one time I remember that I got cheated on and not being able to forgive it ever is when he convinced me she was coming to see him with her whole family (husband & child). That she was dying and it would be a last time meeting for them as friends. Ok, so I stayed home and he called and cried about seeing her, their meeting, their talks and sharing food, etc and no mention of the kid or husband and I caught on that part was a lie. So he confessed and confessed to sex and intimacy with her. He had the fricken nerve to lie to me to make me stay home. Oh the whole thing makes me boil over.
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  #10  
Old 09-20-2011, 12:36 PM
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I don't know about anyone else , I can only go on my own experiences . I've seen so many women when I was an adolescent get cheated on and they're clueless about the whole thing walking around on a cloud with their heads shoved up their asses . Then they find out that they've been cheated on and they are so devastated and hurt and feeling betrayed by the man that they love. Well, something SNAPPED in me back then and I PROMISED MYSELF that there was never going to be ANY MAN do that shit to me and me stay with them in spite of it !!! I'm NO ONES ASS- not then, not now and not ever !!
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  #11  
Old 09-22-2011, 11:47 PM
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I loved my guy like crazy even after he cheated. i gave him 16 years half my live. Now that i am older and yes i just found out that he is seeing someone else even while in prison i decided to end it for good. I am just over it. I am 32 and there is still plenty of time to find good love
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Old 09-24-2011, 08:43 PM
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I've been cheated on 2 times..

I didnt stay..

FOR ME the hardest thing was accepting that i was in love with the wrong person.. :/

no one wants to admit they fell in love with a liar or cheater or a p.o.s.

the in between time SUCKS ass!
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  #13  
Old 09-27-2011, 11:46 PM
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To my knowledge I've only been cheated on one time. It was my husband at the time, and we were both locked up when I found out the truth.
To me... that is the one, single thing I don't think I could ever forgive and get beyond. He and I are divorced. I've been with my man now for 9 years... IF he ever did cheat, I would never be with him again!
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Old 09-28-2011, 01:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geauxin'KraZee View Post
I don't know about anyone else , I can only go on my own experiences . I've seen so many women when I was an adolescent get cheated on and they're clueless about the whole thing walking around on a cloud with their heads shoved up their asses . Then they find out that they've been cheated on and they are so devastated and hurt and feeling betrayed by the man that they love. Well, something SNAPPED in me back then and I PROMISED MYSELF that there was never going to be ANY MAN do that shit to me and me stay with them in spite of it !!! I'm NO ONES ASS- not then, not now and not ever !!
Wow, Love your words. Exactly what I thought and I've kept to my word so far. I'm so glad to read your post.
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Old 12-19-2011, 08:29 PM
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If the former husband had made me feel special after his two affairs, we may have stayed together. I keep telling him if the room is cold you've got to turn up the heat. After 20 years I gave up and moved on.
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Old 09-16-2019, 08:45 AM
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My current husband and I have been together since 2000. In 2006 his bi-polar manifested (not an excuse, but a reason.... there's a difference) and he literally got on a plane to another state and was unfaithful. Until that point I too, like others said I would never stay with someone who had cheated on me.... and then it happened. I informed him that he wasn't leaving that way.... he was going to come back and get divorced and settle things like a real man. He got back on a plane and when I picked him up we went to a restaurant where we talked, yelled, cried...etc for three hours. He had already agreed to seek treatment.

In the end we both severely worked on our relationship. I never...ever took responsibility for him being unfaithful. That is and always will be on him. I did however take responsibility for allowing it to become an option in his mind. I knew there were issues but I was "busy." We were raising three kids, I worked full time and I was in school full time.... I didn't have time for his breakdown and convinced myself he would just get over it. I didn't fight for him.... I didn't fight for us.

We became stronger for it.
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  #17  
Old 09-17-2019, 08:04 AM
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For me, the main thing has been "will I always be cheated on?"

I had a really bad and intense breakup in my early 20s. It shaped future relationships and how I always look for the bad things. It also destroyed me inside and shattered my self confidence and self worth. I do worry my guy will cheat cuz that's what my head is conditioned to think thanks to that breakup. But I know he won't because he won't hurt me that way, when in reality, I could end up hurting him cuz I always worry.
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Old 09-19-2019, 04:19 AM
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Why would I be in a relationship or continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me? I'd cut his balls off on go on with my life. Cheating happens, but it's extremely disrespectful and destroys trust and as a lovely side-effect think about all the STDs that are out there.
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