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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Can you deal with a long distance relationship?
Yes, I can 208 71.72%
No, it won't work 10 3.45%
It all depends 63 21.72%
Not too sure 9 3.10%
Voters: 290. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-08-2013, 08:32 AM
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Kay_2012 Kay_2012 is offline
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My boyfriend and I are in a long distance MWI relationship... try that on for size. He's 740 miles away from me. I live in Texas he's incarcerated in Iowa

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Old 03-08-2013, 04:50 PM
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B and I haven't been together too long, only 6 months, but I'm in Texas and he's in Ohio (we're also MWI). It's hard to not see him whenever I'd like to but we're making it work! As for the faithful question, it's been about a year and we've got 6 more to go

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Just like the moon and stars come out
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Old 03-08-2013, 07:03 PM
rahdiggah rahdiggah is offline
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We are MWI hes in north jersey im in south jersey....but he said once he's release we'll be living under one roof.....no more long distance relationship.
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Old 03-10-2013, 03:30 PM
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Yes we can and we are My bf and I are MWI and I met him in person last year in FEbruary when he was released to the halfway house. He has since been out of the halfway house since May last year and we have been doing a long distance relationship ever since (he lives in Memphis TN and I am from Western Australia - made several trips last year and my next is in May so I am on the count down)

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Old 03-12-2013, 08:53 PM
JL24 JL24 is offline
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What were going through is...he is from the US and Im canadian...after 3 years we have discussed what the outcome will be...he can most likely not come here...ever...I would move there...but im VERY scared to...because of it being different then what Im so used to...I love him soo much and he loves me...its a VERY big decision ..everything is all sweet through email and letters...but once reality hits...what happens. I dont even know what I would go about to go there and leave my present life....
but I guess if the feelings are strong enough...you just go with the flow and hope for the best.
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:54 AM
Synti Synti is offline
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Yeah, that's what we are doing

I'm from Finland and my baby is incarcerated in Texas so this distance is about 6000 miles.. I know that if I want to be with him when he gets out and if things work fine with us, I'm the one who will move to Texas - and I will do it for him and us, I really won't lose him. We met first time this February and we have been writing 15 months now, we are working on the new trip and I'll visit him again in the end of this year.

I admit that I hate this distance so much but I also know that it makes our relationship stronger. It would be awesome to live near of him and visit him every weekend but it's not an option right now so we need to struggle with this distance - at least we have our priceless letters <3 We can't call to each other or anything like that but still we communicate more than average couple here in Finland - can't complain.
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Old 03-13-2013, 01:45 PM
Iceony76 Iceony76 is offline
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I answered it all depends. Both people have to want to and do all they can to make it work. Main thing is trust and communication. Being able to visit can't always happen with those that are not able to. If you are able to (like myself) that is an added bonus to maintain and cultivate he relationship. I see a lot of PTO folks have huge concerns about infidelity. I make it simple in my relationship. We have to be honest with each other. If he cheats I know I would not be able to accept the betrayal so I would be done. If he can't wait for me to visit or vice versa then it's not worth it if he wants to cheat. It's bad enough that I hate being away from him. I can't put the added stress of infidelity on top of that too. If its meant for us to be together nothing negative will pull us apart.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:26 PM
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Originally Posted by lovenolimit View Post
Okay, so here's my question to you :Can you deal with a long distance relationship? Or do you need to have constant in-person attention? Do you think that people in long distance relationships can be faithful and go without sex for long periods of time?
Yes, I can deal with a long distance relationship. I know I can because I once dated a guy that in Tennessee while I lived in California. This was over 5 years ago. My current boyfriend and 1st love is in prison. I am in San Diego and he is incarcerated in Los Angeles. We lived a lot closer together. I am waiting on my visiting form to get approved.

I would love to have constant in-person attention but my heart is and has been for the same man for over 10 years. I just decided to stop fighting the feeling and tell him how I felt. Funny thing is that he felt the same way. I would rather be in a relationship with him while he is in prison then have in-person attention from any other man I do not love.

Yes, I believe people in relationships can go without sex for long periods of time. I am doing it now. Sex for me has always been a mindset. My London has me mentally and he is the only person I want touching me. Thinking of sex with another man makes me sick. I know who my soulmate and true love is. It is and has always been London.
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Old 03-15-2013, 11:31 PM
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I used to hate the fact that he was like 132 miles away from me. Now I'd give anything for him to be 132 miles away from me. At least I saw him every weekend for 48 straight hours. I talked to him every day multiple times of day. Now I talk to him on the phone maybe 3 times a week at most and a lot of the conversation is crappy on his end. Letters 2 to 3 times a week. I see him once a week for 2 hours and I can't even touch him. I can't stand it. I'd rather him be anywhere but where he is now.
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Old 03-16-2013, 06:12 AM
MickeyBug MickeyBug is offline

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Of course they can work! If its meant to be - it will be!
I think long distance relationships are great! You get to know someone so deeply & personally and you fall INLOVE with them & it doesn't just become a sexual thing.
I wouldn't change a damn thing about my "long distance" relationship.
My husband and I know the ins and outs of each other & we are very best friends.
It's not a perfect situation, but I consider us to be a perfect couple together <3
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Old 08-18-2013, 09:18 PM
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I put it depends. I absolutely think they can work, obviously because me and my man are 8-9 hours drive apart and he's incarcerated. I believe though that it is definitely harder to make long distance work. Both people have to be fully committed and there has to be a lot of communication happening to maintain a level of connection while separated. It's not easy but can be done
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Old 08-25-2013, 08:49 PM
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My relationship with my man is proof that a long distance relationship can work. We've only been together for three to four months now but it feels like we've been together longer. I live in Nevada and he is in Georgia but that doesn't stop us in anyway. We talk on the phone. I send him letters and pictures. He sometimes sends letters but surprises me every week with cute little cards that have beautiful poems in them. Also our relationship is a MWI relationship. I think when I visit him for the first time then I'll decide whether I should move closer to him so when he gets out he'll have a place to stay with me or stay out here till he gets out then I'll move.... but long distance relationships do work unless you are not willing to make it work.
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Old 08-26-2013, 01:00 AM
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The long distance is the easy part. The prison part is the pain in the @ss.
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Just like the sunshine after rain
I'll come
To be with you will save the day
'Cos I know
When I'm with you again
You just steal my heart away

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Old 08-26-2013, 05:10 PM
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I'm in PA, Mac is in CA. We've been together for nearly 7 months (MWI). Visiting is expensive but totally worth the effort to see those baby blues light up and that smile! Plus, who doesn't like wine country? Yup, it works for us. We figure this distance will only make our bond stronger. It takes a lot of effort but we manage it just fine.
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Old 09-09-2013, 12:16 AM
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I answered: "it depends"

I dont see myself suceeding in this kind of relationship with anyone else but Bobbie, so to me its a question of WHO is in the relationshi and what they give to eachother. I dont think you will get many "nos" in a forum like this because most is here because they DO live in a LDR with their man.

Were MWI living 8000km apart (yes, Im so far away that Im metric). I dont think the long distance thing is the hard part...the hard part will come soon enough (+5yrs) when I will have to make the decision whether or not to leave my son (who will be a grown up by then) and cross the Atlantic to be with my man.
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Old 09-24-2013, 04:23 AM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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We were separated by 1,000 miles for the last several months of my man's sentence. However I went to see him 1-2 times per month and he called me almost every day when he had minutes, so we made it work. Also, the first 8 months I wasn't able to see him even though he was only 15 minutes away (stupid FDC rules). Now he's free but he's 7,000 miles away after being deported. He's been home for 6 months and thankfully I've been able to spend about two of those months total with him. It's all about communication, trust, determination, faith, honesty, and being willing to put the hard work in to making it work.
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Old 10-09-2016, 06:50 PM
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I think it can work. I knew I could love my LO since I first me him. I had already been celibate for 2 years when I ended my marriage. (We had been separated a year and half) so the no sex thing doesn't affect me. When I get the urge I just workout and no one even interests me in that way at all. Every fantasy involves him lol it can work if both want it to.
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Old 10-10-2016, 06:26 PM
Revenwyn Revenwyn is offline
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I can and I have.

I was in a long distance relationship with my late husband for 5 years before we finally were able to get married.

I'm in a long distance relationship with M, not just the fact that he's behind bars, but that we're actually in different states.
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Old 10-16-2016, 09:23 PM
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I try not to think of how much time he has to do and just enjoy the time/calls and visits we do have.
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Old 05-18-2019, 08:09 PM
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It all depends...not all long distance relationships works out. It depends on the two individuals that's in the relationship that's long distance.

My relationship as of right now has it's moments. Long distance isn't easy at all when your man is doing time in another state on the other side of the world. But we do what we got to do to make it work out the best way for the both of us. As communication is the key! We doing really good and nothing between how we feel for one another has changed. I know our relationship going to remain long distance for at least a year after his release. He has to parole there. It's not going to be easy...but I'm up for the challenge ahead. I'll be traveling as much as I can to be with him within that first year. Once he's finished with his parole he's moving/locating to my state to be with me.
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Old 05-26-2019, 09:25 AM
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We are long distance different countries to be precise and the Alantic ocean inbetween us. I am fortunate enough to be able to visit regularly so its not too bad. To be honest its the prison bit we find hardest. The lock downs and the limitations prison brings and that would be the same if i lived just outside the prison gates.
I think long distance can work if both people are prepared to accept the limitations and put the effort in to keep up regular contact.
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Old 05-26-2019, 01:14 PM
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We are in different countries as well. I am going in November. It's working great so far. We have great communication trust and love and we are both willing to do this so it's really up to us to make it work. I as well find the lockups and jail stuff the difficult part
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Old 05-27-2019, 02:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Psychocandy View Post
The long distance is the easy part. The prison part is the pain in the @ss.

I really miss Psychocandy because she hit the nail on the head.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
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Old 05-27-2019, 03:48 AM
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I really miss Psychocandy because she hit the nail on the head.
What happened to her?
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Old 05-27-2019, 04:03 AM
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I don't know, I just haven't seen her online for quite some tim.e
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
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