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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Which do you believe is true?
Absence makes the heart grow funder. 339 88.98%
Out of sight out of mind. 42 11.02%
Voters: 381. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 12-28-2007, 11:58 PM
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Default Which do you think has the most truth?

I was just sitting here and I just all of a sudden felt like maybe I am falling out of love with my baby(stupid stupid thought) I really miss him. Then I started thinking ok what if he is falling out of love with me!!!!!! (Im a little paranoid) It has been so long and I miss him so much. I know that nothing has changed between us. We still love each other the same maybe even a little more. I just miss him.
But, I was thinking about the old sayings....you know....OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND & DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FUNDER. Which is actually true? Are either true? Just sitting here thinking.....
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  #2  
Old 12-29-2007, 12:22 AM
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Well, in our case, "out of sight" never meant "out of mind".

We spent many years apart and never forgot our love for each other.
It's what led us back together 3 years ago, after 5 years apart.

His absence is a painful thing to endure, and my heart grows for him each and every day. I know that he is feeling the same way also, as he tells me so constantly, as I do as well.

It depends upon the strength and solidity of the relationship, I guess.

If one wishes to be "out of mind", it is a good time to accomplish that while imprisoned...but I believe that the heart grows closer to that which makes it stronger.

I hope that your heart leads you to what's strongest for you as well.
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Old 12-29-2007, 01:50 AM
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I dont think either are true. Right now there are alot of posts about falling out of love with their men...check em out!
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Old 12-29-2007, 01:54 AM
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I do believe absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it all depends on the events that take place during that absence. Does that make sense?
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Old 12-29-2007, 02:05 AM
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I think absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, it depends on how strong and solid the relationship is before you are separated from each other.
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Old 12-29-2007, 11:40 AM
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Both statements can be true! It just depends on what's going on in *you*/*him*/*her* at the time. For me it's absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just because he is out of sight now, He will NEVER be out of my mind nor my heart. So I voted for the one that is true for me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but like I stated, both can be true.
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Old 12-29-2007, 11:58 AM
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Love doesn't talk in old wives' tales. Love talks straight to the heart. If you love each other, you will stand with them through the worst of the crap in addition to when it is good. If there is too much room for doubt, then there isn't enough love.
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Old 12-29-2007, 02:12 PM
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I voted absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I miss my man more and more every day. Ya go through numb spurts so you can recoup and deal. then the superlove gets flowing again...

And it seemed to me the posts flying around about falling out of love with their men isnt cos they arent "here" its cos of stupid stuff the men keep doing or the way their men treat them. VERY few is it the case that absence is the real key. It may just be the trigger to the underlying problem that was already there..And the distance makes the BAD stuff not worth it. But absence alone isnt what kills a relationship.
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  #9  
Old 12-29-2007, 02:14 PM
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Both can be true!
Look at how many men get abandoned in prison. We are a very small minority of people here but over all if you ask the average inmate,,People forget them,,,family and friends.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder IF you still have communication. I guarantee you if most of these women lost communication with their man they would be gone. Most of us can't even go two weeks without a letter
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Old 12-29-2007, 02:46 PM
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Cool I guess it depends...

I voted for the one that is true for me.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

I say this because with him gone, I have kinda lost the feelings that I had when he used to make me mad while he was out. Right before he was arrested, he was tap-dancing on my last nerve. Now all I seem to focus on is how much I miss him and how much better things will be when he's home. However, on my visit last weekend, we had a small argument that reminded me that he's human and imperfect and has the ability to irk me in a completely non-jail-related way. I have kinda glorified our relationship in his absence and my heart has had the chance to grow fonder...if that makes any sense.

TS
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Old 12-29-2007, 06:44 PM
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I voted for absence makes the heart grow fonder.I stuck by my mans side through the initial arrest, the ongoing depositions,court,house arrest,and now dealing with his Time in prison for Voping.The thing is I tried the out of sight out of mind for a few months.I needed alone time.I tried to give up.But If ITs real love.No matter what you do to make it out of mind hes there.In your dreams,thoughts,and heart.So...after a dew months of no communication we got back together for good.WE've weathered this much we can make the long haul.SO I guess in my Experience, IF its love then out of sight, out of mind cant be possible.Cos believe me I really tried hard lol.
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  #12  
Old 12-29-2007, 06:53 PM
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i believe absence makes the heart grow fonder , its true on both sides just look at your letters ladies,,,



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  #13  
Old 12-29-2007, 07:15 PM
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Default so true

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wobabi
Both can be true!
Look at how many men get abandoned in prison. We are a very small minority of people here but over all if you ask the average inmate,,People forget them,,,family and friends.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder IF you still have communication. I guarantee you if most of these women lost communication with their man they would be gone. Most of us can't even go two weeks without a letter
Communication is the key... some people fall out of love and prison has nothing to do with it. If communication isn't there then the love will eventually follow!
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Old 12-29-2007, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingSoul4u2
Both statements can be true! It just depends on what's going on in *you*/*him*/*her* at the time. For me it's absence makes the heart grow fonder. Just because he is out of sight now, He will NEVER be out of my mind nor my heart. So I voted for the one that is true for me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but like I stated, both can be true.
I gotta agree 100% with this Both can be true...it all depends on the situation and how you wanna deal with it. For example...after a break up with an ex...eventually you stop thinking/missing/loving them soo much b/c they are no longer around. However, in this situation....outta sight could NEVER mean outta mind. He's on my mind and in my heart 24/7...so there's no escaping it. If I wanted it to be the other way around, I'm sure with time I could force myself too...but I would never want that anyway Hugs
-Jackie
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Old 12-29-2007, 11:49 PM
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Default Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Poll

It really depends on the situation and the relationship.
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  #16  
Old 12-30-2007, 12:08 AM
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I was thinking after reading some of the post that both statements being true or not have to do with the situation. And its different when your man is doing time. I didn't choose for him to be out of sight, so I don't think he will ever be out of mind. And it makes us stronger in our relationship. I know I can't wait to tear him up when he walks out those doors so I don't know if my heart is fonder or just horney!!!! But, I know for sure that its stronger....

As you can tell the paranoid period is OVER!!!! 4 now
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Old 12-31-2007, 11:27 AM
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I think it depends on the individuals involved. For us, absence mkaes the heart grow fonder. We use to be together all the time, but we never really missed each other until out time together started to come in limits. Then all that we never noticed or took for granted became so much more important.
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Old 12-31-2007, 02:26 PM
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Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle and fans a bonfire.

La Rochefoucauld

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Old 12-31-2007, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dwfighterva
Love doesn't talk in old wives' tales.

Those arent old wives tales. An old wives tale is when someone says chocolate causes acne.

Those are quotes of poetry which have been formed into prose.
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Old 12-31-2007, 04:06 PM
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I voted for absence makes the love stronger. I remember when my guy was in the hole for a month which meant no calls or visits and sloooow mail. That helped me realized how much I love and missed him.

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Old 12-31-2007, 04:17 PM
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I think it depends on how deep the relationship is.. On my behalf I don't believe either of them are true. My hubby once was feeling down when he called me oneday he asked me if i was forgetting about him and if i still loved him as much as yesterday.. i told him i loved him more, i dont have to see or talk to him everyday to still be in love with him. Shure I miss him and i would like to, but I believe everything will be alright and we'll be together again. He's just away for a lil bit.. I agree with "G. Leyva" absence makes love stronger..
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Old 12-31-2007, 05:27 PM
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I Believe Bot Hof Them Are True Because From Since My Husband Has Been Gone I Never Loved Him More And In Regards To Out Sight Outta Mind I Think Of That When It Comes To His So Called Friends Because He's Not Here Right Now And So He's Not On Their Minds.
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Old 12-31-2007, 05:35 PM
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For me, absentce does make the heart grow fonder. If my husband didn't get sent away, I think that we would still take each other for granted and had more problems. Since he has been locked up, we have both had a lot of time to think about our relationship, marriage and our future and that sure helped us a lot. I have really learned a lot about myself and now know what I need to change about myself and I believe its the same for him. This time apart has also made our marriage stronger and us closer. So a lot of good things have come out of this. So that just makes me glad that its happening sooner than later. And he has expressed that also.
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Old 01-01-2008, 12:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yzz
Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle and fans a bonfire.

La Rochefoucauld

Quote:
Originally Posted by yyz
Those arent old wives tales. An old wives tale is when someone says chocolate causes acne.

Those are quotes of poetry which have been formed into prose.
Perfectly said! I love it!
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Old 01-02-2008, 09:46 AM
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Wow good post Its hard for me to say...When Soldado and I had a brief spell of not writing each other I realized just how much i loved him and wanted to be with him...Now we havent seen each other since Sept 20 and Im finding that outta sight outta mind doesnt really apply I do notice a distance btwn us...well our communication SUCKS right now...so nevermind!
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