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Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

View Poll Results: Is a con a con for life?
Yes 37 21.26%
No 109 62.64%
Undecided 28 16.09%
Voters: 174. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 09-09-2010, 09:34 AM
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Yep - two thoughts come to mind here:

1. No one cares what you've done, people only care what you've "overcome". That's where inspiration starts. Who gives a rip about people who have had "perfect lives"? Anyone can do well with those circumstances. It's the person who has triumphed over adversity who I want to know about.

2. "If it's to be, it's up to me!"
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  #27  
Old 09-09-2010, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hisoneandonly View Post
I voted no b/c its just a label society gives and while he will always be labeled as a con, he won't always act like a "con". And he won't always be in prison

AMEN to that!!!! nm
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  #28  
Old 09-11-2010, 10:20 AM
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Default When its all said and done..

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazyincali View Post
What do you think?

If you've done time any time in your life and were paroled - wether that parole was yesterday or 29 years ago are you always an ex-con?

No matter what you do in life - how far your reach the sky or go underground - is a con a con for life? Both legally and by society standards?

What do you all think?
I have been home from a 51/2 year stay in the system in Idaho and I have yet to find a job, I have lived in three states since my release hoping that maybe the system would be a little more lenient, no luck. I went to school hoping to get a trade degree (which I did) I got my Class A CDL only to be told by recruiters that nobody would even talk to me until I have been home at least five years, now I am going back to school to get my BS in Business and Marketing. I have no idea what will happen afterwards but I do know that I will never stop trying. To answer your question, you will always be a felon in the eyes of people who hold the keys, doors will keep being closed to you, but you have to have faith in what you are doing to succeed no matter how hard or how long it takes. The mindset in this country is and will continue to be ( once an offender always an offender ) there is nothing you can do about that but drive, desire and determination will help you to survive...Have faith....
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  #29  
Old 09-11-2010, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KWIBWISE View Post
I have been home from a 51/2 year stay in the system in Idaho and I have yet to find a job.. To answer your question, you will always be a felon in the eyes of people who hold the keys, doors will keep being closed to you, but you have to have faith in what you are doing to succeed no matter how hard or how long it takes. The mindset in this country is and will continue to be ( once an offender always an offender ) there is nothing you can do about that but drive, desire and determination will help you to survive...Have faith....
Kevin - (or anyone else who feels in a similar situation) So what's really going on about not finding a job? It isn't about being an offender, or a recovering alcoholic, addict, or any other of a host of "handicaps"...

And, if you are "always a felon in the eyes of those are holding the keys"...my question is "so what?" Consider the possibility that they don't hold the keys, you do...what would that look like for you and how would it change things?

Read This..."Ex Offenders" and Employment Stratagies"

Questions? Comments? I'm not interesting in people "surviving" - I'm pumped up about them actually thriving...so what's your next step?

Scott
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  #30  
Old 09-30-2010, 05:09 PM
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Default Convict For Life....

I suppose it would depend on your definition of convict. Societies definition and a convicts definition are quite different. Society would label all convicted felons, 'convicts'. Whereas convicts do not see it this way. There are 'convicts' and there are 'inmates'. In my opinion, an inmate can easily go back to being Joe Citizen at some point. However, a convict adopts perspectives, attitudes, morals and a code of ethics that sticks with us for life. The context changes, but the code is the same. It is not a bad thing. Not at all. I would much rather hire a convict to work for me than the average laborer off the street. A convict will be straight up with you. If he says he will do something, he will do it. If you show him respect, you will get at least the same in return. A convict is loyal. I am not talking about relationship fidelity, because a dog is a dog, whether he be a convicted hound or a square mutt. But loyalty...means I do not forget who my friends are. In short, I just wanted to express my opinion that once a convict, yes, always a convict...and proud of it.
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  #31  
Old 10-12-2010, 07:49 PM
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lazyincali:

Yes.

Not even a con, but a misdemeanor will set a person has outcast from society permanently, pardon included.

But there's good news.

Society by it's refusing to restore the offender's constitutional rights technically exiles the person has a citizen. He can be anything he now desires, even a nation of one. He can ally himself to anyone he wishes and society cannot complain of his allegiance or loyalty.This is because the constitution defines a citizen. Since there is no such thing has a class of citizen defined on lessor rights, and, there are no degrees of the constitution modeled on a particular citizen type, then he should be viewed has a non citizen, and if he regards himself has nation, then deserving of diplomatic immunity and diplomatic protocols. He is also deserving of all the exclusions has non citizens enjoy.

Why isn't this recognized? Because society benefits in keeping him in a sphere of false hope in order to better facile the extraction of taxes and anything else he can provide them. It hopes to play this for all it's worth, the person eventually dieing has a non citizen. Society "wants it's cake and eat it too" as it were pulling the hope carrot away just a bit more from the person's grasp.

Immediately we can see the problem. Punishments are meant to be finite and society works on power alone, not morally driven, and in this policy ensures that punishments become infinite and closure can never be achieved.

Society's attitude is totally out of sinc with Christian dogma. The true definition of Common Good ensures that the rights of a subject are not abrogated permanently, and they are to restored as soon has possible. But we know thousands go to their death without society's merciful forgiveness, which is also to be unconditional.

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  #32  
Old 10-21-2010, 08:06 AM
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Yes... once a con, always a con. I've been out of prison for over 12 years and haven't been in any kind of trouble since then. But the fact remains, I am a convict. There's really not many points I can make that haven't already been made... but I will say-
I do not hold my head down in shame for carrying this label. I do not let my 'status' hinder me in my life. Going down that road taught me more about myself and life than any other moment in my life.
In everyone's eyes... as well as my own... I will always be a con... and I don't see that as a bad thing.
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  #33  
Old 11-26-2010, 12:03 PM
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No no no. I have a lowest class posssession charge and only spent 9 months in prison. I did not learn new ways to commit crimes. I was 30 when I caught that case(first and only one) so it's obviously not a "pattern of behavior". If I offend anyone with this next statement, so be it. Next time you drive after having a little too much to drink or get a vicodin or lortab from a family member for a headache/ backache/ whateverache you've committed a felony too and the only difference between you and me is I got caught. I had a full time job and was paying bills, etc. at the time too. Careful how you judge.
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  #34  
Old 11-26-2010, 12:49 PM
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Default Ex-Con for life

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazyincali View Post
What do you think?

If you've done time any time in your life and were paroled - wether that parole was yesterday or 29 years ago are you always an ex-con?

No matter what you do in life - how far your reach the sky or go underground - is a con a con for life? Both legally and by society standards?

What do you all think?
Yes we will always be excons for life.The world will look down on us if we let them.For me i have been out since August 30,2010 and already have a nice house and a good job.We will only look bad in society if we allow it.Working hard and proving ourselves is what we have too do.But unfortunaley alot will return too prison cause society looks down on us cause of incaceration and we do not know how to handle it.
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  #35  
Old 11-26-2010, 02:37 PM
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I don't know. I was convicted 9 months ago. The talk of self-empowering and pride are good points, but I'm just not there. My life is in shambles. My husband and I are both unemployed. Unemployment is running out. We've had ZERO luck job searching, even in retail and fast food. The future right now isn't exactly looking hopeful.

So, you know. I did no jail time, but I can't help but feel like I'm going to be punished for a lot longer than I'll be on probation.

OTOH, if I manage to find a job ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING, my attitude about that may change. Probably will, even.
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  #36  
Old 12-14-2010, 12:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky_H View Post
I don't know. I was convicted 9 months ago. The talk of self-empowering and pride are good points, but I'm just not there. My life is in shambles. My husband and I are both unemployed. Unemployment is running out. We've had ZERO luck job searching, even in retail and fast food. The future right now isn't exactly looking hopeful.

So, you know. I did no jail time, but I can't help but feel like I'm going to be punished for a lot longer than I'll be on probation.

OTOH, if I manage to find a job ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING, my attitude about that may change. Probably will, even.
Two things - first check out this link and if you can create the time, watch the video: The Butterfly Circus.

Second, it sounds a little like a vicious circle you're feeling trapped in. Getting a job would help you feel better, but perhaps feeling better (and more positive) would help you get a job. That's a tough cycle to deal with sometimes -

So - three questions...

1. What is it you see yourself doing and feeling really good about in terms of work?

2. What would it take to find or qualify for that kind of job?

3. What skills do you really feel you have to offer the marketplace and who would most likely benefit by those skills?
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  #37  
Old 03-26-2011, 07:50 PM
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I've been out for a year now after 7 years of hard time. An internal affairs officer said I was a 1%er. Con I was, and still got the scars to prove it. Inside and out.

There's the some things I think I'll never break:
The code of silence
Paranoia of the cops
Making friends easily

I find I am able to start getting close to a few people I love now after a year...

A con is a con for life? Yeah.
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  #38  
Old 03-26-2011, 07:51 PM
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Sadly I believe you are always an ex con.









Quote:
Originally Posted by lazyincali View Post
What do you think?

If you've done time any time in your life and were paroled - wether that parole was yesterday or 29 years ago are you always an ex-con?

No matter what you do in life - how far your reach the sky or go underground - is a con a con for life? Both legally and by society standards?

What do you all think?
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:17 PM
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I guess for me 'Con' means convict: One who has been convicted.
I was convicted about forty years ago, the only pardon I get is through the Blood of Christ.

In that sense I expect to die a convict. I'm not Jean Valjean and real life ain't Les Miserables.
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Old 03-28-2011, 03:14 PM
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I want to say no and hope in my heart of hearts I am right. My ex is getting ready to head to prison for the first time. I know in the eyes of the law and society yes he will be considered a ex-felon for the rest of his life. I just hope his time in doesn't change him so much that he ends up back in prison.
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Old 03-28-2011, 03:14 PM
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Default To be or not to be " A con"

My personal opion of once a con always a con, well it is what you make it to be once your released I dont have that mind set I changed my mind set once I was paroled so I have to disagree with once one always one I did 17 years in texas and now Im doing very well for myself so once you change your way of thinking then things fall in place.
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  #42  
Old 03-29-2011, 09:19 AM
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the justice system might give me the title con but i am victor......alll humans make mistakes
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:06 AM
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That's right up there with nature versus nurture, but I think it's a case by case basis. There is a HUGE difference in an ex-con, who committed one crime, served his time, worked his program(s) and rebounded to become a productive member of society. No one would have a problem with that person, from the CEO to the hardest OG. Now compare that to an ex-con that is constantly in and out of prison, his crimes constantly escalating, then throw in the wonderful reasons "it's people doing worst than me, they just haven't gotten caught yet," they aren't working the programs provided-in that case it's an institutionalized behavior and I think this is what society gets fed up with. Good post!
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  #44  
Old 06-13-2011, 09:54 AM
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I will not, refuse, to hang on to the mindset I was forced to develop in prison. No, I no longer believe our system is infallible or about justice, but neither will I suffer the fear and distrust intrisic to living inside. There ARE people who believe in the best of humans and humanity, if I give up on that, well, I give up on life.
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:47 AM
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Personally I think no but according to my fiance every time he came home, he said it feels as though society views him differently than the rest. Said it gives him the feeling of an outcast, which is the hardest part of reintegration.
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:54 AM
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I don't know too many Cons so I can answer that but I do know Ex-offenders in the eye of society will always be serving time. They will always be questioned about their integrity. As far as I know though I know many of people that have done time, alot of time and they have been out way passed the time they served.
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Old 02-02-2012, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lazyincali View Post
What do you think?

If you've done time any time in your life and were paroled - wether that parole was yesterday or 29 years ago are you always an ex-con?

No matter what you do in life - how far your reach the sky or go underground - is a con a con for life? Both legally and by society standards?

What do you all think?
I couldn't answer because you're asking two different things.

From a legal point of view:
Is an EX-con an EX-con for life?
A person is an EX con until they commit another crime and get convicted for it.

Is a con a con for life?
Well, as far as I know "con" is short for "convict" - and once you get a conviction, it stays on your record.

But then, where do ex-cons come from? How did you determine who is a con and who is an ex-con if being a con only means that you were convicted of a crime?

I think it's important to not get so focused on terms and labels. Each person is an individual and everyone who goes through the same thing is not going to have the same outcome.
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:19 PM
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I once met a good mechanic that works for peanuts because he was convicted of DUI-vehicular homicide. I was happy to have him fix my car as long as he didn't do the test drive after he was done. I would only hold a person's conviction against them in tasks related to the conviction.
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lazyincali View Post
What do you think?

If you've done time any time in your life and were paroled - wether that parole was yesterday or 29 years ago are you always an ex-con?

No matter what you do in life - how far your reach the sky or go underground - is a con a con for life? Both legally and by society standards?

What do you all think?
Legally and Society wise, a con is a con. There is simply no other way around it. As an ex-offender, do I feel as if I am still a con? The answer is no.

Although I am reformed, and can prove it, I will always carry the label of felon. In today's society that is a guaranteed two strikes in a system that only allows three. Am I angry with society because I wear this label? No, the truth is I brought it on myself and quite bluntly, I am still serving my time even though I now live in the free.

In the time since my release, I have received an education, my husband and I both work and we are a functioning part of society. With that being said, there are a lot of things we are not allowed to do just based on our pasts. Even though our thought processes have changed, we are clean, and we live productive lives, according to society we will always wear that label. To say otherwise would be a lie.
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  #50  
Old 02-11-2012, 06:14 AM
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I agree with OffenderNoMore. My husband is still paying for his felony from when he was 19 and he's now 33. He will always be a felon, but he certainly has changed his behavior and that's amazing.
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