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Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

View Poll Results: How effective is visitation for our beloved inmates?
Extemely effective 979 86.56%
Very effective 115 10.17%
Somewhat effective 29 2.56%
Not effective 8 0.71%
Voters: 1131. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-25-2008, 08:51 PM
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Muddycats Muddycats is offline
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If it wasn't for the monthly visits, I wouldn't have made it!
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Old 08-25-2008, 08:54 PM
Angelbaby8599 Angelbaby8599 is offline
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Visitation reminds him that he hasn't been forgotten by his loved ones. Visits also help keep him centered with his eye on the prize of coming home. I just wish I could see him more regularly...
One day closer!

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Old 08-26-2008, 05:25 PM
blueyed blueyed is offline
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Default Missing Him

I only know for my man it is extremely important, I visit him once a month, with work and everything it get's hard, but if i can i go twice a month, If i had it my way i would use all 8 visits, but i hear all the time from him, its almost time for u to come see me, It reassures him that he is loved and cared for and not forgotten..I also think that as much as it mean's to them it mean's just as much to us, to be able to see and touch and to make sure they are OK..Cuz i know he can hide things over the phone and in letters but when you see them face to face you know!

Last edited by blueyed; 08-26-2008 at 05:29 PM.. Reason: wanted to add more to the post
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Old 08-30-2008, 01:27 AM
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Originally Posted by mel2020 View Post
Depends on the inmate. Most think its VERY important, but my man would rather do his time without them. But that's us, we're weird! *LOL*
I was the same way. I never liked having visitations. I did like getting letters though.

Visitations always just made me super depressed afterwards..
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Old 09-03-2008, 12:17 PM
Ikedaddy Ikedaddy is offline
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Being that i have only been to jail so far i dont know about prison but in jail its all i looked forward to it kept me from going nuts that and being able to call my family and friends cell phones suck lol
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Old 09-21-2008, 09:43 PM
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my boyfriend told me today that the only thing that made him keep his cool yesterday when his was mad as hell with the COs and NOT get sent to the hole was knowing we had a visit today that he didnt want to lose. so i would say pretty effective....oh and that is also what keeps his mouth shut in court instead of talking to me lol (they warn them each time...talk to anyone besides your lawyer or court personell you lose visits X 2weeks this includes gestures any kind of communication besides a quick smile or glance)
My Happily Ever After:

And when HE walked into my life,
I KNEW why it had never worked out with anyone else...
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Old 09-21-2008, 11:54 PM
Ally0811 Ally0811 is offline
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Well thank you all, I was always hesitant on visiting my guy but with all these comments here I guess my doubts and concerns have been answered. I never wanted to visit but I told him on Friday that I might reconsider. You guys made my decision to go see him soon easy, thanks again.
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:13 PM
jobezee1 jobezee1 is offline

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This is a difficult one for me to answer. My parents generally came to see me once every five weeks. I did enjoy my visits with them but when they left, it was very hard on me and them. I had a short sentence (3 years) and if I had to do it over, quite honestly, I would have told them not to come. My mother is a paraplegic so the all day trip to Abilene and back was quite hard on her. I would return to my cell after they left very depressed. I did not like my family seeing me that way.

Now, after I was released and discharged, I did go back to Abilene a few times and see a guy that I had stuck up a friendship with. He greatly enjoyed the visits as his family rarely came to see him and he had a long, 30 year sentence.

It does help most of the men and keeps them connected with the outside. But, like I said, my mother wrote twice a week so, if I had to do over and had a short sentence, I would have just told her to stay home, especially now with gas so high (It was $1.19 then)
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:06 PM
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faithfullone faithfullone is offline
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It is very inportin that they get visits, It gives them something to look foward to and we are there only connection to the outside. They also need soft words of love from family because they cant show feelings in there it's all hard. It also gives them hope and shows them love without us they would just give up. Even GOD say's to visit, write ppl in prison.
Time to start over
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Old 10-31-2008, 05:34 PM
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Lady_Chanel Lady_Chanel is offline
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I voted extremely effective because of alot of things. One of them is they look forward to seeing there family and significant others. That helps them live and not do anything stupid. I can go on forever but I have to leave in a few minutes...
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Old 11-01-2008, 03:22 AM
guinyardanna guinyardanna is offline
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please visit them in prison and give them support.this lets them know that someone loves them and believes in them.God gives us all a second chance as his children
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Old 11-09-2008, 11:28 AM
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LaTazyGirl805 LaTazyGirl805 is offline
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I think this is a great idea ...there is alot of families that cant get up to see there loved one due to no car or no ride i think no visits to a inmate stesses them out so i try to get up to see my mom as much as i can ....i think this is an awsome idea....i would be interested in information for a ride to ccwf , cali ....good luck.....peace <3
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Old 11-27-2008, 12:48 AM
slim1102 slim1102 is offline
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I guess it depends on the person dont get me wrong I loved to see my fam and friends but at the end walking back across the yard knowing i wasnt getting out for a long time it just made me depressed.Plus it is so much better seeing everyone as a free man.
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Old 12-07-2008, 04:58 PM
Peeper333 Peeper333 is offline
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I think it's unbelievably important. My then-boyfriend now-husband came to visit me almost every week when I was locked up. It meant everything to me, as did my other visits - from my mother, my friends, other family.

But for prisoners with children, I'd say it's MOST important. It's crucial, for the kids and for their mom or dad.

People doing long bids really need visits, but often seemed to have the hardest time with it. And if you're in a facility that makes visitation really difficult, it's a huge barrier. But I would have been a mess without my visits.
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:21 AM
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afirsttimer afirsttimer is offline
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Well, this is not the first time my hubby has been in prison but it's the first time he has since we've been together. The first time he was in there, visits weren't that important to him. I mean, he enjoyed them when they came but it wasn't something he really tripped on. Now, he would die if I didn't come to see him. I came every visiting time when he was in the county. He is in reception now and he is losing his mind without having a visit from me. But, I must tell you too, he is in a very different place now then before. Before he was really living the "life". Now, he is not. Yea, he's back in (but that is an entire different thread topic) but his mind and actions are in a different place than the first time. His priorities have changed. He grew up.
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Old 01-04-2009, 09:12 AM
MSLADY24 MSLADY24 is offline

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Do anyone now a bus that would go to Frackville Pa.
Muppets Baby
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Old 01-07-2009, 10:38 PM
Heather&Paul Heather&Paul is offline
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Id say they are extremely important! I know this last time I was in although it was only 2 months it broke my heart everytime they called for visits and they didn't call my name. Now I know my man would've came but he was and still in there too. My family didn't want to drive for 2 hours to visist which is understandable but it still hurt!
"Absence is to Love, what wind is to Fire. It extinguishes the small, and enkindles the great."

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Old 01-12-2009, 10:37 PM
tomkat8711 tomkat8711 is offline
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Red face

Visits rank #2, right after "Release Date" in importance to a convict. With every day pretty much the same as every other day in there, it breaks up the time, gives them another future reference point to aim for, and provides lots of incentive to behave themselves.
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Helen Keller
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:46 PM
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Kimi06 Kimi06 is offline

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Originally Posted by ThaMisses View Post
Hello Everyone,
My name is Talaya and I am in the process of opening a transportation business that will provide transportation to and from correctional institutes for those wishing to visit an inmate.
This is where you guys come in...
How effective do you think visitation is for an inmate?
If you are an ex inmate can you please speak on the subject for me?
Thank you, Talaya.

This is a wonderful cause I mean being a sister to a lifer and
now getting to meet so many other people within this world of incarceration.
Alot of people have problems with getting to see thier loved one because
the ride is too far. A lot of people may not have a car or really tight on
funds to be able to supply the gas for that kind of ride, since prisons do
sit out there. My cousin is incarcerate in Pennsylvaina our home town is
Philadelphia, and there is a lady that runs a bus company that takes his
wife and others up to pennsylvania @ my cousins particular prison. It is
25$ round trip the bus is a huge coachliner like greyhound very comfortable.
The lady stops for bathroom breaks as well as food breaks because there
are a lot of children on the ride to see their dad mom etc. I wish a lot of
other places had a set up like this because it is really beneficial, and not
to mention it is good money for the person running this type of buisness.
If it wasn't for this transportation company my grandmother could not
get up there to see my cousin like she does, so it is a blessing. I believe
she goes to like 5 different prisons other than were my cousin is at.
Her and her husband do it together. I wish I could get a ride to see my
brother who is with the feds and they really sit them way out in another state.
Instead I have to either take my car or rent one and that gets expensive.
It is too far to just turn back around so you are looking at a weekend trip
hotel, food gas expense etc. That makes it hard on people who cannot afford
to do this.



Last edited by Kimi06; 01-13-2009 at 03:49 PM..
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Old 01-24-2009, 11:36 PM
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It would've been real great for my man cuz he has never held his daughter, he has seen her once at 2months old and in pictures. She does not know him so when he does come home, she will be very shy. I know he would've loved seeing me too, but a 4 hour drive there and 4 back with a baby would not be good. My car sucks too. I think it would be great to have transportation, providing it did not cost alot.

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Old 01-28-2009, 08:05 PM
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11Charlie87 11Charlie87 is offline
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When I was in the DB, my parents drove halfway across the country twice to visit with me. That was all that I got, but it means a great deal to an inmate. It gives us hope and much needed contact with 'real people' and the outside. Yeah, it hurts when they leave, but it is one of the best things to receive! Letters are the second best thing, as you can keep them and reread them many times. I imagine for parents, phone calls are the second best, so you can hear your kid's voices.
May God give me the strength to face each and every day, and the wisdom to handle them well.

11 = Infantry designator
Charlie (C) = Mortar Crewmember
87 = 1987 is the year I enlisted

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Old 01-31-2009, 10:51 PM
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Toby's Girl Toby's Girl is offline
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Visitation is very important for inmates because it helps them to stay calm. They need a change of scenery every once in a while, because all they see all day is other inmates and co's. Visits from their families can lift their spirits and help keep down incidents. I think that inmates fare better if they know that they have the support of family and friends.

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Old 02-07-2009, 02:12 PM
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Default Ms Talaya it very very effective in visting love ones . Iwas wondering did you start

Originally Posted by ThaMisses View Post
Hello Everyone,
My name is Talaya and I am in the process of opening a transportation business that will provide transportation to and from correctional institutes for those wishing to visit an inmate.
This is where you guys come in...
How effective do you think visitation is for an inmate?
If you are an ex inmate can you please speak on the subject for me?
Thank you, Talaya.
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Old 02-07-2009, 02:19 PM
monica woods monica woods is offline
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Ms ThaMisses it is very effective in visiting love ones in prison. Did you start a business. I am in need of transportation going to Belmont Inst.
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:03 PM
moskmaria moskmaria is offline
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Visitation, phone calls and letters are the only bond between the inmate and the world. I cannot imagine myself not visiting my man. Besides, you know that not all people can be approved to visit. For instance, it's me and one of his friends only who are able to go and see him. His mom lives in Jamaica. Sister is in NY. Many of his friends were incarcerated so their visits at this moment are out of question.

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