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  #1  
Old 05-30-2020, 07:16 AM
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maytayah maytayah is offline
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Default Are you in touch with your released penpals , How are they doing?

I was just thinking about the penpals I had over the years.

I am now married to one of them and very happily so.

Two are still serving long sentences and we keep in touch.

One has been released and has done exactly what he told me his wanted to do with his life. He has started a small design business and he is doing well.

One has a steady job has been out for 2 years and has just welcomed a new baby with his girlfriend they were MWI.

One was arrested within 3 months of release and is in jail awaiting trial on new charges.

One violated parole within days of release to a HWH. He is back in prison and sadly still blaming everyone else for his behaviour.

I am glad to have know all of them and although I no longer penpal I have enjoyed and grown from the experience.
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Old 05-30-2020, 10:16 AM
kvinna20 kvinna20 is offline
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I’ve had a few pen pals but only one is out now.

He and I were pretty close. We are in touch, but barely and it’s because I put in the effort. I am surprised actually at how quickly I moved to a back burner. I can understand it. He has sooo much in his plate, getting acclimated to life on the outside. I don’t harbor any ill will, but if we’d been closer or been friends longer I would take it really hard.

I never understood why so many guys ghosted their girls once they got out but I kind of get it now. It makes me sad, but priorities really change, even if it seems like they won’t.
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Old 05-30-2020, 10:46 AM
Peacefinder Peacefinder is offline
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That is so great you befriended so many people who need to know someone knows they matter and want to be their friend.

I get my mwi at work. I have also met a few others but only had work friendships with them.

I do have one that I am in contact with but we are definitely only friends. He calls me once a week. I send cards for holidays but am not really a letter writer.
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Old 05-30-2020, 04:24 PM
orchibu orchibu is offline
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I have 1 thats been out 3 yrs and this time has managed to stay out and is doing well. Another who kept in touch for a while when he got out after 14 yrs i penpaed for the last 8. We update every cple months by phone. 3 rd one is from 2008. Was mwi but just friends now hes up for parole in Aug after 24 yrs of a 20 to life. Hopefully hell make it . We will probably always keep in touch as i have visited his mum and her and i call and write. She classes me as her daughter .
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Old 06-27-2020, 02:49 PM
Dymond3 Dymond3 is offline
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Out of all the pen pals I've had over the years, the only one I still keep in contact with is the very first one I wrote to for ten years. He recently celebrated his 5th year of release after being behind the fences 19.5 years.
He's been to Congress to speak on behalf of parolees and lifers getting grants to complete degrees. He has opened a photography studio as well as working on completing his bachelor's degrees. Other businesses as well.
He leaves me a quick email every couple months to let me know he's okay. I still represent prison world for him so communicating with me brings emotions/flashbacks he doesn't want.
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Old 07-04-2020, 10:12 PM
kvinna20 kvinna20 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dymond3 View Post
I still represent prison world for him so communicating with me brings emotions/flashbacks he doesn't want.
That’s awesome your friend is doing so well.

Ive wondered about this before (your statement above) and whether this is part of why so many MWIs disappear when they’re out. Sad.
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Old 07-11-2020, 10:04 PM
rupert81 rupert81 is offline
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This topic came up in a recent exchange with my pen pal in Texas. Here's what he wrote to me:

"The prisoner/free person relationship is an interesting one. I don't think people are planning on a renegotiation of the relationship contract after release. Those on the outside are not thinking about the prospect of the released inmate no longer being starved when it comes to relationships and options. Many of these inmates are drug/alcohol addicts and the desire to attach while in prison is strong, and it is not a hard thing for them to live a lie in order to have company versus being alone in truth."

To all those of you who have dedicated countless hours over many years offering genuine friendship to people who were at their lowest point in life, and did so with no strings attached -- you really do represent some of the best in humanity.
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Old 08-04-2020, 08:26 PM
Dymond3 Dymond3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kvinna20 View Post
That’s awesome your friend is doing so well.

Ive wondered about this before (your statement above) and whether this is part of why so many MWIs disappear when they’re out. Sad.
I believe it is why many disappear along with the fact, several no longer 'need' what the outside penpal provides or replaces while behind the fences.

I'm very excited to see every new goal he makes and meets. Even celebrate the failures, for at least he is trying when at one point he didn't for fear of the 'felon' and 'ex inmate' titles.
This week we met in person for the first time and went hiking together. He is moving out of his home state and opening a third store and second photography studio in next few months.
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Old 08-05-2020, 02:51 AM
carm2405 carm2405 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rupert81 View Post

To all those of you who have dedicated countless hours over many years offering genuine friendship to people who were at their lowest point in life, and did so with no strings attached -- you really do represent some of the best in humanity.
That's lovely... thank you!!

My penpal gets upset when I joke with him that once he gets out I got to find myself a new penpal
He says he wants to be friends with me for life and tell his future wife/kids all about me!!!
We will see what happens... I am happy to let him be free of me too, if that's what he wants... there are plenty more people in prison that I can write to if/when he gets released.
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Old 09-09-2020, 08:54 AM
Stillwater Stillwater is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dymond3 View Post
I still represent prison world for him so communicating with me brings emotions/flashbacks he doesn't want.
Never thought of it that way.
I've had one pen pal released and never had any communication after he hit the street.
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