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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #26  
Old 05-09-2006, 10:47 PM
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My boo isnt a crack addict she is an ADDICT, drugs, booze,sex, etc! and yes I happen to be in love with her, I have seen the monster and I have seen the the sober babygirl side as well. All I know is that I love her!
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  #27  
Old 05-15-2006, 07:40 PM
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My husband was/is a crack addict, atleast he was before he got locked up... My story has parts of all of yours and then some....Okay first let me start by saying I was a bartender/manager for 8 years and knew my husband for 7 of those years, just as friends. He shot pool on a league for my bar. From the very first time he walked into my bar, he told people he was in love with me and that he would marry me one day. I just never thought much about it, seeings how probably 1/2 the clientele always talked some kinda shit. I grew up here and have many life long friends who followed me, my sisters used to tease me and call them my "ENTERAGE", (mostly male),but friends since elem. school.I was with some one for the last 5 years of those 8 and never thought twice about anyone else, because I have morals, am very strong willed, and believe deeply in "do unto others", needless to say that 5 year relationship was truly a waste of 5 years, but I kept trying. I have 2 sons from my first husband, who always adored my friend, and would ask on occasion, why couldnt I be with "him", I explained that we were both in other relationships, and that it would be wrong to leave one and hurt one to love another, it just wasnt meant to be!!! Well my painful and struggling relationship finally ended and I remained alone for almost a year, all the while my friend being there like he always was, never ever pushy, very very shy. For the 10+ months of my single life, my friend babysat the boys for me when I went out, then one night when I came home it was nearly 2a.m. and I told my friend I was going to bed, only I dont know what came over me but I asked him to come to my room, and all but raped him.(He never would have even tried to kiss me).The next year was like right out of a fairytale, for the first time in my life I felt what true love is sopposed to feel like, so much so that it brought tears of joy to us on a regular basis, I was in awe...to say the least. We got married, then I got pregnant which we planned, but we didnt plan the monster I became. I became verbally abusive, and convinced him that he was the worthless piece of trash that I told him he was, after so long. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, depression, and PTSD, and the pregnancy just turned my world upside down. I threw him out repeatedly, at one point I told him the baby wasnt his, and the list goes on.... He was so broken and now depressed and around that awful time, a friend of his told him he was gonna turn him on to a hit of crack, that it would make him feel better and make the pain go away.He would have done anything to take away his pain, within months he was on 5,6,7 day binges, where he would go off alone, and get deeper in depression, spending thousands, our son was born in the middle of all this and now I had post-partum depression to make matters even worse. We were on the fast track to destruction. Now fast-fowarding, my husband ended up taking his parents car while they were out of town, and credit cards, then he tried to commit suicide. His parents pressed charges, grand theft auto, burglery of an occupied dwelling, he got 2 years in prison, then 3 years probation. We have talked and talked and gotten all sorts of outside help. I pray to be able to get back what I feel we were so lucky to have had in the 1st place, and vow never to take each other for granted. As long as he has us, he says hell be happy, although I was sick, I am so ashamed of the way I treated him.I understand that doesnt justify what he did, or make him do it. With all thats been said, the LOVE of my life will be home in 12 days, and I am so excited and scared as well. I learned a lot of lessons(the hard way)and know in my heart it all happened for a reason....My husband says things wont be like they used to be, but better!!! Im crossing my fingers, keep us in your prayers, and thanks for letting me get all that off my chest.(Its a good thing I only told 1/10th of the story!LOL)
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  #28  
Old 05-15-2006, 09:45 PM
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Maria, your story is an inspiration to us! Thank you for sharing your story. I do hope that everything goes well for both of you. You both seemed to have learned and grown a lot during the past two years, especially since you both have received outside help with this.. WOOHOO he will be home in 12 days ? WOW, happy day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #29  
Old 05-16-2006, 05:57 AM
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I have been in the position that you ex is in. You couldn't have said it any better it's self hate. I hated myself(well I was taught to hate myself) for many years and as a result I abused myself. People can and do overcome addiction and learn to love themselves. Unfortunately some people just never get it and they die trying or not trying. Knowing what I know now I would never suggest that anyone hang around when someone is using crack relationship or no relationship.
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Old 05-16-2006, 04:25 PM
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^5 Trannie I am mega with you on your post, it makes clear sense to me
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  #31  
Old 06-05-2006, 05:49 PM
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hello everyone, i am new to this web-site but i am so glad i found this forum. I first met my fiance in 2003, thing's started off beautiful, for about 3 month's then i found out the hard way he was a crack addict, threwout the past 3 year's i have stood by him threw 4 jail sentences, not becuase h ever got busted for drug's but because he would rob places and get arrested for that, i feel so lost and so confused as i never prior to this new anyone on crack it was never a part of my life. i din't understand how a drup could reck someone's life the way it recked our's. now he's serving a 2 1/3 to 7 in prison, yes i still love him, but will he ever changes will he ever stop using the drug, this is my biggest fear, where do i go from here please all and nay advice would be so welcome.
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  #32  
Old 06-05-2006, 07:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dripper2697
hello everyone, i am new to this web-site but i am so glad i found this forum. I first met my fiance in 2003, thing's started off beautiful, for about 3 month's then i found out the hard way he was a crack addict, threwout the past 3 year's i have stood by him threw 4 jail sentences, not becuase h ever got busted for drug's but because he would rob places and get arrested for that, i feel so lost and so confused as i never prior to this new anyone on crack it was never a part of my life. i din't understand how a drup could reck someone's life the way it recked our's. now he's serving a 2 1/3 to 7 in prison, yes i still love him, but will he ever changes will he ever stop using the drug, this is my biggest fear, where do i go from here please all and nay advice would be so welcome.
only you can decided to stay in the relationship or leave. sometimes its worth staying in the relationship if you can see that the person is actively trying to live without drugs and make past wrongs right. sometimes you can't wait around for someone to want to get clean. its ok to love an addict but not put yourself in constant harm standing by someone who does not really want to get clean.

some people on this board have stuck with their man through thick and thin and have found success while others have not.

has he tried to get professional help before? does he even acknowledge that he has an addiction problem?

i know for my situation i didn't know my b/f had drug problems until the relapse. i see on a constant basis that he is struggling and wants to live drug free and have a good life. if i didn't see he actually working toward that goal along with re enforcing those ideas verbally i don't think i could stay because all the love and caring in the world would not make him get clean unless he was ready.

i hope the little bit of advice helps you in some ways
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  #33  
Old 08-05-2009, 09:03 PM
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WowJustlisa, our story sounds so similar. I fell inlove with a man much lilke you describe. In fact it makes me wonder if it is the same man. He had a girlfriend named lisa that he had a baby with not to long after he got out of jail in skagit/whatcom county. I met him in a bar in 1997 where he worked called Hooligans. I fell head over heels also . I knew NOTHING about the drug lifestyle, I wanted so much to save him, to show him that he was worthy of love. In 2001 ... I had a baby and he was there for me saying he would be her Daddy I let him move in , he had no where to go and no one who wanted him , he was barley over 100pounds and he is 6'4 . I fattened him up got him to lay off the drinking and the crack for awhile I did everything for this man put my life on hold just to help him even getting custody of his daughter but he never stopped the crack or the womanizing , ever night he would go off to work and then not come home for days and when he did it was as you said ...sleep, eat , say all the loving things and then off again while I stayed home and payed ALL the bills and bought ALL the food and took care of his child rescuing her from her Mothers abusive boyfriend . But he still would use and then cheat and then lie and then hurt me over and over again , people just don't understand why I loved him and still do to this day. But one day last year I went over to his place or pick up my/our daughter(6years old) and found him locked in the bathroom totally tweaked out on crack... It broke my heart more than anything else he had ever done to me b4. I tried to get him into treatment again but he once again cheated on me and said that it was MY fault... it was too much so we moved i hid from him , i didn't talk to him for over a year and did not allow him any contact with my daughter. But a couple months ago I saw him in his yard and my daughter wanted to say hi to him . He seemed better, but I can't really know for sure as he was always excellent at lying to me, I think because I wanted so badly to believe him , that he loved me enough NOT to hurt me with more lies... Anyway he says he is clean now and I allow my daughter to visit him and his daughter . My mind is so much better now and I am in a good place but why do I want him back , why do I miss him when he hurt me nearly every single day for 11 years. I pray for him everyday as well , just like you .. Maybe this is the same guy , how could there be two men with so many problems be loved and forgiven so many sins by so many women (and he has had LOTS of women) and they, as well as I still love and miss him .. it so hard for me . How do did you do it get away from your troubled lover... ? I don't know that I ever will.

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Originally Posted by JustLisa View Post
I used to date a crack addict.. I met him through a friend of mine who he was in jail with and fell head over heels in love with him.. He got out after being in jail for nine months and was high within one hour and that was 18 months ago and he is probably still high.. He turned my life upside down, inside out and topsy turvy in the time he was with me. I knew nothing about crack at that point, now I know way more than I should... He would go on his binges and then come back home to me and sleep... he would lay there and tell me, I'm done I promise, no more.. and then fall asleep, sleep for 12 hours, wake up starving.. eat all the food in the house, then he was right out there again.. I thought I could "save" him.. I told him he had to go out of my life. I have kids, I started using with him when my kids weren't around.... Finally he did leave and I'm telling you... the stupidest part of all of it was that I missed him... but I knew for my own mental health he needed to stay gone out of my life....

I still think about him to this day and hope and pray that maybe, just maybe he is cleaned up.. however, that drug has such a powerful pull on him that I seriously doubt that he is..

If your addict truly wants to get clean, find the resouces for him, BUT you can't make him do it.. it has to be him.. I know how you feel... good luck to you and to him...
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  #34  
Old 08-13-2009, 02:19 AM
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Wow!!! How I can relate to each and every story post on this subject..
I even have posted a story right here in this forum .. that I have been adding to for almost 5 yrs and thats only half the time, that I have been allowing this..
I love the statement " You gotta wanna" that is so very true!!! As I have been reading all of these posts on this subject .. some have left, some stay, and some are not sure.. And I can relate to them all.. but just as we can not change an addict to want to be clean, others can not change us to make us love ourselves more either.. It has taken 10 yrs for me to know that I have to love me more.. and trust me when I say.. that everyday is a struggle for me..
Because one thing that I have learned is that my husband is my addiction just as his drugs are to him.. I waited and what did he do gone and I would let him come back.. ( just go and read my story and you will see all the bad things )
I let all those years pass me by because I didnt love me like he didnt love himself and when you dont love yourself, well you can allow just about anything to happen to you...
Addiction is an ugly thing.. and I hate it.. no matter if its crack, crank, meth, pills, what ever the drug of choice might be.. now of it is worth selling your soul to the devil..
PLEASE take a look and know that you can make it without him and know that if they are on the inside and not doing any programs or AA/NA chances are they are going to come home and be right back in the streets again... I am just being real with you all..
Step back and love yourself a bit more than you do them.. I love my husband very much and I never want or wanted anything other than the best for him, and in doing this .. I lost me... I look in the mirror at times and just as an addict looks at themself. I look and wonder where that woman I use to be went too??? I am finding her little by little and I do pray each day that someday my husband will get it right.. He sits in county and is going back to prison and I know thats the best place for him..He stays clean in there but as soon as he is out... that white girl calls his name and he is gone...
I had to stop visiting him and I had to stop worrying about him, I gave him to GOD and I gave me to GOD and I am doing what is best for me .. for once in my life.. its true .. YOU GOTTA WANNA.. and I wanna.. I pray many of you will want the samething for yourselves and reliaze you cant save them.. so save yourself....

Be Blessed

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  #35  
Old 08-13-2009, 03:40 AM
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I just want to thank all of you. I to am new to this site and god I'm so glad I've stumbled upon it. I sit around all the time wondering if there is anyone else who can understand my pain. I met Kenny in 2006 when we were 16. Everything was perfect until he started smoking meth. Everything got ruined from there. Our relationship was shitty, we broke up and his addiction got worse. He'd go through spurts of cleanliness and always want me back in his life. We are perfect for eachother when he is clean. We've tried to amend our relationship but everytime we do he gets busted for some dumb shit he did while he was high. I too have sat thru more than one sentance, but this by far is the longest. In the past it's only been months. We were seperated when he got locked up this time and I fear so bad that he's going to use again, he swears he's not going back and part of me believes him because he's never had to do more than 3 months or gone to real prison, let alone federal prison and I know it's scary to him. But I'm so scared he will slip up. I love him when he's sober and hate him when he's high. If he can stay clean I could marry him... but I fear that just like every other time it won't last.
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  #36  
Old 08-13-2009, 07:11 PM
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Its so odd how all of these stories have some part that sounds just like me and the stuggles that i have went through with my boyfriend.there has been times when i left him where he was after a binge wen he would slip up or when he spent the very last dime that he had to his name and i meant it everytime i would tell myself that this is it.i have had enough and i cant go through this anymore only to find myself listening to his promises once again that he was through and how much he hated hiself for what he had done. There is no doubt in my mind that he means what he says at the time.but he couldnt overcome the hold that it had on him.evryime i would bail him out of the jam that he was in owing money to people or not having money to go to work for the week,and i would think this is it.i allways thought he would be so disgusted with what he had done that he would eventually stop,and that he would love me enough to stop.i was only enableing him .i love this man with all my heart aside from the drugs he has the biggest heart,and is so loving and kind but he can be like jeckel and hide.my biggest fear is that after i stick with him ,wait on him ,and put my life on hold,that he will end up slipping once again i want to have faith in him and i do to a point,but i would be so hurt if he goes back to the same ways.cuz i know that i can never live like that and i would loose the love of my life.
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Old 08-15-2009, 09:58 PM
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You are not alone in the way you feel, I feel some people (my husband) is totally a hopeless case. The lies he told me are totally outrageous, he was gone off and on since last October running around with a female crack user, he identified as his girlfriend. He has done so many HORRILBE things to me and now he got himself back in prison, and his is SO sorry now, and he loves me so much, only becasue I was there for him the last time and everytime he was in trouble. When we first met he did 3 years, got out violated parole went back again using crack of course, he got out again on parole and violated again, getting high stealing cars. He is 43 and been using cocaine since he was 23. I do not believe anything he says now, his mother puts money on the phone because I refuse to, I have wasted so much time and energy on him, I love myself finally and he loves crack. Before he got locked up he was with that girl and I did not see him hardly at all. I think some people can change but in my case there is no way he is EVER going to be an honest hardworking respectful husband. Crack is the devil and it has him I think sadly forever. There is a post on this site about the "cloak of addiction" it is really a good read. I wish you all the luck in the world, go with what your gut tells you, I always felt like my husband was dying to get out to smoke crack not to be with me like he was telling me. I hope your man does what he says, but only you can decided to hang in there. I just know for me, I want a divorce and too much damage has been done, I cannot forget but I can forgive him. I remember something he said once, he is a prisoner either way, when he is a free man he is a prisoner of cocaine and if he is not free he is locked up because of cocaine .. Pretty sad stuff
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  #38  
Old 12-22-2009, 09:54 AM
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ok i just found out my bf is a crack addict, i have no idea even what that means can someone out there help me please? I don't even drink or do any drugs so I am clueless
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  #39  
Old 12-22-2009, 06:57 PM
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Sounds like this is the forum for me to post to!! My husband is a fiend, has stolen from me, caused me to lose my home, my job and possibly my freedom. But that is my husband who is the addict who has done all that. In the two years he has made tremendous strides to be clean, has even managed to stay that way for 6 months on his own. He REFUSES to get help, absolutely certain that no one can understand him. "It's all BS and nothing will work with me." Which is true because he won't let it work!! Anyway, until now, he has always managed to stay with misdemeanors with maximum of 1 yr in county jail but NOW he has a felony with a VOP so will serve the WHOLE 4 yrs and then face felony charges that was the violation. When he is not on crack he doesn't get in trouble!! ONLY catches charges when he high or looking to get high or looking to stay high. I know he doesn't want this, sober he knows it's not good for him so I have HOPE. Which NO ONE understands. Maybe just Maybe THIS time will be different.

That all said, for those of you who have stayed with your active addict, what precautions do you take? Do you live with them or not? I don't even really know how to word what I'm asking. I just know I'm am ready to be his wife in name only and let him sink or swim on his own. Just not quite sure how to do that. I have 4 years at least to figure it out.
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Old 12-22-2009, 10:04 PM
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I am so happy I found this forum! Man do our stories sound a lot a like but they are all unique in thier own way! I am only 23. My hubby is 38. I met him while he was incarcerated and we formed our relationship. I knew nothing of an addiction or drug problem until he came home and used for the first time. He did respect me enough to tell me. Well I went through a major depression after that and thought a lot of it was my fault when it wasn't. I got pregnant by him and he started using more. He stole from me pawned his valentines present which was a highly expensive watch with our names engraved in it for $20 to buy crack. I left to go to my moms for a few days for an appointment and our house got "robbed" but he sold everything to get high those two days. I go through hell with my family and stuff for sticking by him but everyone has left him but I refuse to. I love him and thats what most people don't understand about a marriage! Its through the best of times and through all the hell in the world! And ladies let me tell you something crack and all those other drugs have spirits attached to them and its manufactured right from the pits of hell! The devil knew he had to send things to really devastate and destroy families. But I gotta say satan is a Liar and my God can release those demons from him and make him STRONG enough to fight the battle everyday and overcome it... so good luck ladies! all of you are in my prayers and please pray for me and my family. Who said life was gonna be easy?? No matter how hard it gets, his love is worth the ride! A lot of these men never had someone show them love through everything through their most beautiful moments and their ugliest. I aint perfect and I'm certifiably crazy at times but hey he's ok with it!! lol.... good luck ladies!(and men)
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Old 01-12-2010, 02:35 AM
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wow. its nice to have a forum like this.. on drugs my boyfriend broke into my apartment (before he lived with me, stole from me, pawned his mothers jewlery and stole from friends. he was to be able to drink socially and just not do drugs.. but i dont think that will work. i want his completely sober.. he is at a RSAT program right now..
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Old 01-12-2010, 01:00 PM
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lost cause ladies move on
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Old 01-31-2010, 10:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MzBlakes View Post
I've been with my fiancee' for almost 2 years and the first year was HORRIBLE...He was a drunk and the only time he wanted to smoke crack was when he would drink.....I can't even begin to explain what I went through...
MANY nights he made me drive him to Cleveland to get it at all hours, I did it because I didn't want to fight with him more than we already were. He overdrew my bank account numerous times...sold my PS2 for $100 worth of rocks...I tried to write a check to the drug dealer (who wanted $200) to get my PS2 back...he got the check, I did NOT get my PS2 back, so I had to put stop payment on the check. He even stole his mothers car one night....got jumped, pistol-whipped in the head and face, almost got his mom's car stolen....came home about 12 hours later with blood literally running down his face and head all over his clothes....Sometimes I would call his house and he would tell his little bro to tell me he wasn't there.....I knew better so I would go there and find him locked in the bathroom..he wouldn't let me near him when he would do it, he would run from me in his own back yard when I showed up at his house!!!..he always tried to hide it..I found crack pipes in his room....one night he got so drunk and wanted to go to Cleveland...I finally put my foot down and wouldn't take him....he got angry, we got in a fight...needless to say, he went into a blackout...punched me in the face and fractured the bridge of my nose...AM I CRAZY FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH HIM STILL AND NOW BEING ENGAGED???????
Sometimes I wonder..he is locked up right now.....I feel in my heart that he never meant to hurt me, he didn't love himself so how could I of expected him to show me love? He IS different now and he sees what I went through, that I stuck by his side and it helps him even more to change. He ONLY wanted to smoke when he was drunk.... I put 2 and 2 together that he in fact wasn't a crack addict....he was an alcoholic who liked to smoke crack sometimes, but when he did.......it was ugly, it was something I would never even wish on my worst enemy...I told him, sadly, that I wished it would have been another woman I was competing with. You can't compete with someones love for drugs (I know, It runs in my family, I'm an ex- addict and my father and his 2 brothers(my uncles) and there father(my grandfather) are all in A.A., My father now owns a business and we have gone on many vacations...he is the best dad....thank god for A.A. and N.A.! Ironically, my father did the same things to my mother that my fiancee' pulled on me in the past.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, they say. He is better now and I know that because he could get anything, any one can get anything in prison, easier than on the streets.....I would know if he has been using.....I know and I feel it inmy heart that he is being honest and not using....He is taking GED, going to A.A., he quit smoking cigarettes even...I physically can see him getting healthier.....It is a long-awaited feeling of contentment after all I have been through with him....
If you truly love him, stand by his side and get him help...if not, than leave, for your sanity...
Here is something I learned in Al-Anon
The 3 C's....
You didn't CAUSE it...
You can't CONTROL it......
You can't CURE it.......so do with the advice as you will and good-luck, you will need every ounce of it.....I will keep you in my prayers...I DO know exactly what you are going through
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WOW THIS IS ME!!!!!!!! 10 times over this is me.. i never thought I could admit to anyone but here I am, I have lost friends, family members etc because of my sticking with him. I don't know how or why I do, that's a lie, I do know, I love him!!! and my vows said for better or worse through sickness and in health. I will continue to be there for him as long as when he comes home he gets the help he needs, he tells me he will and I hope and pray to God that this time he really will...Thanks for that post!
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FROG= Fully Relying On God!!

PUSH= Pray until Something Happens!!

finally coming home July 2010!!
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  #44  
Old 03-08-2010, 12:24 AM
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Wow lady's thank you I really needed this tonight. My fiance is also a crack addict an I truely felt all alone. I have no one to support me in my standing by him. I am told I am wasteing my time an that I will only be hurt again an again. See me an rhew have spent more time apart than together due to his addiction, his last binge lasted 6 weeks an landed him with a stolen vehicle charge, he was still on parole for the last same charge ....its quick cash for the crack he says. All the promises you all speak of I have heard them over and over. This time when he was finaly arrested he called his father, who called me an said "girl I found him" it was the first night in 6 weeks I slept thru the night with out haveing a horrible nightmare or wakeing up thinking I heard him trying to get in the house. I decided when I went to visit him in jail that I was going to be strong stand my ground an I did told him stop promiseing me things you cant deliver. It doesnt matter I love him as all of you speak of when they are clean they are amazing he is so kind an involved with our church an a wonderful father ....what I dont get an he cant answer is why ..what triggers him to rush back out an use again. I sometimes wonder if it was something I said or did or the pressure of just being tied down to a family. I am getting ready to uproot my kids an move to Illinois I am catching alot of flack from my family an honestly I dont care I love him. But I wont lie I am scared to death that he will get out an start useing again, I talk to him about this alot that it will always be in the back of my mind when he is late or runs to the store, I know I will wonder if he is really doing what he says or if he is getting high. I cant see myself with anyone else I just pray I am strong enough to survive this ...
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Old 03-24-2010, 08:50 AM
LaNenaDeBebe LaNenaDeBebe is offline
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Unfortunatley, I know exactly what your going through. My fiance is in jail now, and I am praying that it helps. When I met him, I met him in a half way house. I had friends in there and would go to see them. I met him through them. Me being the girl I am with clean shoulders and a future ahead of me go for the "bad guys". When I met him I knew he had a problem and I knew it was with crack. He told me what it would be like if he went back to it. One night about 6 months after we got together,he didn't come home one night. I would wake up every hour, calling and him not answering, but I didn't think nothing of it, I thought he might be drinking over at his brothers house. So I woke up the next morning and of course, no answer. I went to school that day and found out he was at his dads. I went down and talked to him, he told me he was done. Never believe that!!! So the next couple weeks was a living hell literally, it got to the point where he was spending 900 dollars a day or more. I told him he needed rehab or jail or I was leaving which was the last thing I wanted to do. He finally did go to jail. But the reason why I think I stayed is because I know how he is when he is sober. Does anyone think the same as me? Or could it have been something else???
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Old 03-25-2010, 02:42 PM
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hello ladies,
ooh how i can relate to this thread. It has been such a roller coaster ride in and out of rehab. I love my husband and I know he loves me. His addiction has had us at opposite sides of the fence so many times. I have always been a strong will woman so during one of those worst times when he thought he could take from our home and leave us with out i packed his bags and told him i love him but i don't like him and he had a choice us or drugs. Of course he has relapsed a couple of times since then. when he relapsed the first time i decided to go to al anon of course kicking and screaming. My thing was i wasn't the one with the problem he was. I remember the days of waiting up all night for him to come in, calling him and him not answering, when he finally would answer it was come get me then the arguments would start and his blame game which just added fuel to my fire. Once i joined al anon and they told me the only person i could change was me. He was an adult he had to make his own decisions and fix his own problems, that he made. A light bulb came on. This time when he relapsed if he fell because he was high and drunk that is were he woke up at. When he would call for me to pick him up, I told him the same way you got where ever you are that is the way he had to come home. or when he couldn't call he found me sleeping like a baby. He saw a change in me. This time i detached with love. This time i say what i mean, mean what i say, I just don't say it mean. So yes i did stay because i know who he is sober. This time i will only stay if he remains sober. God bless and best wishes to us all.
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  #47  
Old 03-25-2010, 05:23 PM
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Crack is bad disease. He needs to see the sunshine on the other side. Their is a new life, life with filled with hope and love on the other side. Spirituality will come into his life and wipe away the character defects, the hate, and anger.

He needs to be let loose and let him his bottom but he needs to be told their is a new path if he surrenders his soul to a higher power, which can be God or not to be "God'. God does not have to exist, and you would still have a higher power.
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Old 05-27-2010, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by secondtimer View Post
I remember the days of waiting up all night for him to come in, calling him and him not answering, when he finally would answer it was come get me

This rings so true for me! Rhew callin at 2am ..."baby I f-d up again can you please come get me I am freezin, broke, out of gas, hungry" the list goes on an on. I of course drove two hours in the rain the last time to another state to an area I should have never been in at 2am to find him dirty and strung out, flat broke whole pay check gone an him stinkin to high heaven! Brought him home bathed him, fed him, and watched him sleep for 16 hours and then listened to him promise how it would never happen again he was so very sorry and never ment to hurt us.

That was November 16th, 2009 on November 20th, 2009 he called me on his way home from work said hey I am gonna grab a beer, I pleaded with him to come home an have a beer or come get me cause in the back of my mind I knew what he was doing he was goin to go smoke crack. I sat there an cried cause I knew he would be gone again I did not hear from him till December 14, 2009 when he called his father an told him he was in jail for stealing another car.

This is his third bit he was faceing 30 years, we got 6 by the grace of GOD. This time seems different, he requested treatment and is in Turning Point Treatment Center for the next 31 months. I am hopeful that this is it because clean he is an amazing husband, father, and friend. High he is MIA for days and even weeks. I am worried though because today the prison annonced that they are stopping the college classes he was attending for his associates degree due to budget cuts. I hope he doesnt slip back because of this, he is easily frustrated. All I can do is pray because no matter what I love him an I will be here waiting no matter what the out come.
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Old 06-13-2010, 10:45 AM
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crack is a MONSTER!!!!!!!!! the most addicting drug and changes a person, and their mind ability i want to say god touch each and every person on crack to rebuke it and with gods help to stop.... i rebuke it come against it in the name of JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! amen!!!!!!!
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  #50  
Old 12-21-2010, 07:10 AM
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I can totally relate to being in love with a Crack Head. I just believe there is hope and happy endings. I am also a realist. I will have to wait to see just as with any addict, you have to always fear relapse.
I am married to a kind, decent loving man. He was raised in a great home by loving parents who were college professors. They stressed honesty, hard work and being a decent person.
He partied until he was 23 years old. He became a Christian, on fire for the lord, He got married and had two beautiful young daughters. He had a great job as a manager in a Japanese factory making close to six figures. He had it all house, rental properties great credit and un-limited boy toys… boat, rv, Harley.
He used is vacations to spend time with is family or to be a missionary for his church building missions in foreign countries. He was blessed with awesome parents and sister and a large church family.
The marriage had a wife with an odd personality, poor communication who had a family full of un forgiveness, Numerous miscarriages. Then the church had a big split. My husband jumped on his Harley to start partying, booze and coke. He was introduced to crack. Jails, half way houses and numerous rehabs, all money, possessions, savings, wife, daughters and church gone!!
He ended up in prison/half way house for six months. He had a live in girlfriend from the previous half way house (recently released from a four year prison embezzlement sentence) who had new embezzlement charges pending.
I met him while he was in the half way house. My company employed him. I felt instant bond with him. I could only see that good Christian man, I could not imagine the stories he told about himself, his addictions or his crimes.
I never made my feelings for him known. He decided to stay in the town where the half way house was located and keep his job. I found out and looked him up the week he was released. In the first ninety days of release an OVI, many women, booze and partying. He had felony paper hanging over his head.
He had four relapse on crack (four days total). He hated himself for it. He had not held a job, an apartment or any acquired possessions for years. He wanted that an to re-establish a life with his family and daughters.
He received an ankle monitor (alcohol detector) for seven months for the OVI. I stayed his best friend through all of that, partying and women. I worked on helping him find his way home to himself and family.
We were married in August. He has a great relationship with his oldest daughter, a fabulous relationship with his family. He is off felony paper. No new crimes. He kept his job for close to two years quit for college full time. He has been crack free since March 2009. Crime Free since August 2008 minus the OVI.
I am completely optimistic. I believe in hope. I will love and stand by him and fight for him. He was a crack head now he is just himself, A wonderful man.
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