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Old 04-11-2004, 03:24 PM
ekate ekate is offline
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Default The Pride And Sadness Of Being An Inmate's Bride

The Day I Got Married Was The Happy And Saddest Day Of My Life. I Was Walking On Clouds The Day I Got Married Even Though We Had The Worst Wedding.. Till I Got Home And Realized That My Wedding Night I Would Spend Alone Waiting By The Phone Hoping That He Would Call... When The Clock Hit 8:50 I Knew No Call Would Come I Cried The Rest Of The Night And A Little Depression Hit And The Next Morning I Woke Up Like I Had A Hang Over... This Lasted 3 Days... We All Think About Our Honeymoon And How It Will Be But For A Inmates Bride We Get Nothing But A Kiss And A Ring On Our Finger... Which Was Ok With Me Till I Got Home And Knew I Made A Mistake.. But Then A Week Later My Friend Called And Asked If I Was Going To Visit My Husband.. At First I Said Who But Then Reality Hit Hey I Have A Husband And Yes I Want To Go See Him I Knew Then The Only Mistake I Had Made Was Feeling Like A Fool. I Am Married To The Man Of My Dreams And We Have A Child Together And No One Can Fill His Shoes... Not In My Eyes Anyway.. We Are One Of The Lucky Ones We Get Family Visit And Have Had One From Feb 13 To The 15th.. Our First Year Married And We Got To Spend Valentines Day Together How Cool Is That...that Was The First Time In Six Years That I Got To Sleep In A Bed With My Husband. To Most People They Dont Understand The Pride Of Being An Inmates Wife But I Am Proud Each Day That I Married Him...
Ladies I Just Wanted You To Know How I Felt Cause I Sure Wish Someone Would Have Warned Me About It The Lonely And Sadness That Would Come.. But Its A Brief Thing And Its Well Worth It..
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  #2  
Old 04-12-2004, 10:14 AM
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mamawen mamawen is offline
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ekate,
Thanks for sharing. No matter what someone tells you, there's NO WAY to prepare yourself for the extreme highs and lows of this life. It is a crazy place and sometimes I feel crazy for doing it. Other days I'm fine and some days I'm even super-happy about it.

Keep sharing...it WILL help!
Best,
Wendy
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  #3  
Old 04-16-2004, 10:45 PM
ekate ekate is offline
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Thanks Mamawen
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
- Nelson Mandella, from his inaugural speech
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  #4  
Old 04-16-2004, 10:47 PM
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Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-16-2004, 11:16 PM
ekate ekate is offline
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Thanks For Reading It Willsgirl
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
- Nelson Mandella, from his inaugural speech
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  #6  
Old 04-17-2004, 06:28 AM
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My honey and I haven't been married yet, but I wanted to let you know I feel you! My family has never, not in 11 years, accepted my man. And now that we're engaged, I'm getting the whole, "Why do you stay with someone who's in prison?" routine, again! Because I love him with all my heart. And because I am PROUD to be called his lady. He's made mistakes, but I am very proud of the man he is. And proud of the relationship we have. Yes, it's terribly lonely. But my husband and I are so close. I think we've gotten closer than most on the "outs", because we have to share everything, through phone calls and letters. I can't wait to officially be his wiffe!!!
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I'm his Poco for life... and will never give up hope, and will never duck and run!

You see everything, you see every part. You see all my light, and you love my dark. You dig everything, of which I'm ashamed. There's not anything to which you can't relate. AND YOU'RE STILL HERE! -Alanis Morissette-
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  #7  
Old 04-17-2004, 08:55 PM
ekate ekate is offline
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I dont let them get me down my family does not accept him and never will...my mom went to the wedding to support me but she has never liked him and never will but she supports me.. the rest of my family well thats a whole different thing but as long as i am happy who cares...
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
- Nelson Mandella, from his inaugural speech
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  #8  
Old 04-20-2004, 05:13 PM
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We are hoping to receive approval to get married in June. I like to consider myself a "realist" and am preparing myself for the "post wedding depression" that I am sure is going to take place as I go to the hotel room alone. Thank you for sharing your experience.
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Old 04-21-2004, 11:25 AM
ekate ekate is offline
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I hope you get your approval
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- Nelson Mandella, from his inaugural speech
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  #10  
Old 07-07-2004, 02:24 PM
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I know exactly how you feel. My wedding day was a joyous occasion, but since I could not even talk to him, it kind of had me down a bit. But in the end it was worth it...he will be home soon and we will have the wedding we both wanted at that time.
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Old 07-13-2004, 06:13 PM
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awww.how you feelin now?
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Old 07-13-2004, 06:23 PM
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wow i didn't think of it that way. My baby has sent me my ring. I have to send him his by July 30th. he's so excited about getting married. some of the times, I feel if this love is meant to be we can wait. But sometimes I feel like if its meant to be then do it. i really want to spend the rest of my life with him, but my family doesn't except him and I doubt they ever will. They dont even know he's in jail. Thats why I can't wait till he gets out and we can move away, and start fresh. Thanks for the post
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Old 07-17-2004, 11:01 AM
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We are hoping to receive approval to get married in June. I like to consider myself a "realist" and am preparing myself for the "post wedding depression" that I am sure is going to take place as I go to the hotel room alone. Thank you for sharing your experience.
If I may make a suggestion to you. Try and make that first night alone as special as you can for yourself.

I also was alone on my wedding night. My husband had thought ahead though and sent me a very, very, nice love letter for me to have that night.

As I love hot, bubble baths, I fixed a nice one, with candles all about. I had some soft music playing and my favorite beverage. I had bought a new nightgown. After all doesnt all brides do this.
I got his letter out and layed back in the tub and enjoyed it.

Then it was off to bed for me where I had put fresh sheets on the bed earlier in the day.

You can do this. You can get through it. Just make it as special and nice for yourself as you can. My only regret is I had to spend the day alone after the wedding. I would have much preferred to be with people.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.
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Old 07-17-2004, 07:25 PM
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Babygirl, what a wonderful suggestion. I hope you don't mind if I happen to use that for my wedding night. Excellent idea . Thank you
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Old 07-17-2004, 08:10 PM
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Babygirl, what a wonderful suggestion. I hope you don't mind if I happen to use that for my wedding night. Excellent idea . Thank you
Not at all, go for it. Just make sure if you are going to have him write the letter to you, that he marks it in some way, that you will know this is for your wedding night. No cheating either. Make sure he sends it in plenty of time to arrive to you.
I wanted to cheat and read it ahead on one hand, however, I knew I just had to make the night as special as I could for myself.
Not like the real thing of course, but I survived and the next morning, I wrote in detail to my husband how I had spent the night. I even included what color the gown and sheets were. What music I listened to and the scents of the candles and of course the beverages.
I tried to make it as special for him as I could. I am not into the camera thing, however, if you are, perhaps you could even take some photos and share that with your husband.
Just try to make it as special as you can and everything will work out. One day as long as we are patient enough, we will be able to enjoy the real wedding night.
My husband wants us to renew our wedding vows when he comes home and then wowee, the real thing for us.

Good luck to you and yours.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.
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Old 07-18-2004, 06:25 PM
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Though myfiancee' and I have been engaged almost a year we have none one another for many many years and we plan to marry once he is out so I have been planning ahead. We still have a little over two years but we now know where we will marry and where we will go on our honeymoon. He wanted a secluded area in a cabin and I found just that. They are beautiful. I have been thinking about all this for sometime now. But the day he gets out it will feel like a honeymoon to so it looks like we will have two honeymoons, how lucky can we be. Patients is hard to have but we do all get thru it. You do have your highs and lows but some how we always manage to get thru it. We would love to get married now but we don't want the memory of where we would have to get married. I know we'll never forget that place but we sure would like to. Congrats. to everyone getting married or engaged
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Old 07-24-2004, 08:52 PM
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thank you all for taking the time to read my little thread.. we are still going strong and having a good time we are going on our second honeymoon(family visit). july the 29 just a couple more days...
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Old 07-24-2004, 10:54 PM
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You know reading your story made me cry I remembered the day I got married that was ten years ago. And remembering that day was the happiest day of my life but coming home and realizing that I was a married woman but without a husband at home made me so sad. And my family was against it 100% I had not family support but I am here to tell you that now they love him very much and support our love. So hang in there once he is home they will see what you see in him and they will come around. Cong. On your marriage may the lord give many years of happiest. And maybe when he comes home you can renew your vows we did and we had our family there.
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Old 07-26-2004, 10:13 AM
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thank you all for taking the time to read my little thread.. we are still going strong and having a good time we are going on our second honeymoon(family visit). july the 29 just a couple more days...
I am so happy for you and envious at the same time. I think it is wonderful that you have conjugal visits. May you have the best one yet.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.
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Old 07-26-2004, 09:33 PM
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babygirl and tomi thank you. babygirl i wish we could all get them..
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Old 08-03-2004, 01:08 PM
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Ok I have to know how did you get that night together ?? And if your married do you get more privledges mine is in Federal
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Old 08-03-2004, 01:52 PM
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I Dont Know If Feds Give Family Visits There Are Only 8 Or 9 States That Do Offer Them.. We Get 2 Nights Together And Yes You Do Have To Be Married.
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Old 08-05-2004, 12:51 PM
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It's heartening to know that I am not the only one who is in love with someone they cannot be with....I am considering marrying a man in prison...and thank you for sharing your stories...it's heartening to know that as I believe...it is true...you can love and be loved...even long distance.
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Old 08-05-2004, 06:31 PM
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It's heartening to know that I am not the only one who is in love with someone they cannot be with....I am considering marrying a man in prison...and thank you for sharing your stories...it's heartening to know that as I believe...it is true...you can love and be loved...even long distance.
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Welcome to PTO. Oh yes, it is definitely true, you can love and be loved long distance from behind the walls.

The intimacy is just different and you have to be creative and keep the sparks flying.

Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.
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Old 08-05-2004, 06:35 PM
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Thanks for sharing
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