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  #1  
Old 02-17-2013, 06:30 PM
drewsgirl517 drewsgirl517 is offline
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Default Can he change his last name?

When Drew gets out, he would like to change his last name to his birth name. He was adopted when he was 8, but since he got in trouble his adopted family has had nothing to do with him. He has been working on changing his life around, tried writing his adopted parents a few times to tell them he got his high school diploma and a college diploma, but never got a response. Before he went o prison he and I found his biological father..l he is in contact with his biological father. He said if his adopted parents don't want nothing to do with him then he doesn't want their name and old rather have his birth name.
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Old 02-17-2013, 06:37 PM
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There's a legal form to fill out (he can probably find it in the prison library). As long as there's no intent to deceive, the change should be granted.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:33 PM
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I'd caution - if his birth parents aren't writing, he might want to change his name to something more inspiring to himself. Changing his name to one or another of his bio parents name will not improve his relationship with his bio parents, and may hinder a future reconciliation with his adoptive parents.

Leaving it alone or changing it to something with meaning to him, but neutral meaning to both bio and adoptive parents keeps doors open. And, yes, I know from practicality, not just theory.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself
I'd caution - if his birth parents aren't writing, he might want to change his name to something more inspiring to himself. Changing his name to one or another of his bio parents name will not improve his relationship with his bio parents, and may hinder a future reconciliation with his adoptive parents.

Leaving it alone or changing it to something with meaning to him, but neutral meaning to both bio and adoptive parents keeps doors open. And, yes, I know from practicality, not just theory.
His bio parents ARE in contact with him.

Yes he is going to research at the library.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:52 PM
drewsgirl517 drewsgirl517 is offline
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We plan to get married... I told him he could take my name and he said that was an idea.
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Old 02-17-2013, 08:30 PM
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You can take the bride's last name in New York, but you'd better check your state's laws about that.
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Old 02-17-2013, 09:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drewsgirl517 View Post
His bio parents ARE in contact with him.

Yes he is going to research at the library.
i'm just saying, if he takes one of his bio parents' last names, he's going to have problems and pretty much seal the deal on any possibility of reconciliation with adoptive parents.

Taking your name would be a good, neutral idea - it would be a name he could be proud of, that has meaning to both of you, that won't alienate anybody - parent, sibling, cousin, aunt, uncle, etc. It will also keep the possibility of reconciliation open for a later date.

Even if he can't change his name at the time of marriage through the marriage contract alone, he can always do it as a separate matter, whether in or out of prison.

I'm all for not slamming doors shut. Taking a bio parent's last name is throwing the gauntlet down, and may do more damage than he's aware he's doing.

I do think you have proposed the best suggestion if he feels the need to change his name - taking your name at marriage makes the most sense towards having meaning that moves you both forward into your future together. To me, that's much more important, and much more positive than bringing past problems into your hopes for the future.
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