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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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Old 02-01-2011, 02:47 PM
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Default My sister has no clue her b/f is an addict

My sister's boyfriend is a dope addict. He's been to prison numerous occasions for possesion, fraud & check scams but I don't think she knows how serious his habit is. She has never used drugs & doesn't drink. She's made statements about not knowing about drugs & habits. He's a functioning addict. Looking @him you can't really tell. But I've seen him nodding off @family events & its getting worst. Now things are coming up missing she says, such as the $30 in foodstamps that was left on my ebt card because I let her use it. It disappeared. I went & got a replacement & $3 was left. She says so many things are missing & says she knows who's doing it but stops there. She's ashamed & hurt because I can hear it in her voice. How do I talk to her about him? She let's him borrow her car & he does some shady things & I just don't want her hurt in the long run. She or their children shouldn't suffer. I know she prays for him, she's faithful in her religion but its not enough. I never had anyone that close to me with a drug habit so I don't know either. Thanks!
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Old 02-01-2011, 02:52 PM
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She knows it! She might not want to admit it but the writing is on the wall. I would suggest you have her read up on addiction, and what happens to addicts and there families. There's lots of information and support groups but you have to want the help!
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Old 02-01-2011, 05:37 PM
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I agree, she knows. My son had a drug problem for a couple of years before we knew it. We were in denial even until the last moment. He was the one that told us. It seems everybody else knew. She can't help him if she doesn't know there is a problem. She needs to be educated, just flat out tell her. I wish someone had enlightened me. Once she knows, she can start helping herself and that is the only way to help him. Blessings be with her, it is a long and difficult struggle.
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Old 02-01-2011, 05:42 PM
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Hon, get yourself and her to a Nar Anon or AlAnon meeting as soon as possible! They are the very place that you hear everyone who's used one excuse after another to deny the reality of someone else's addiction.
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Old 02-01-2011, 09:01 PM
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Thanxs for the advice. Its just kind of hard to talk to her because I'm the baby sister & she's the oldest. I know she knows its a problem. Hopefully she will talk to him about getting help because he can't do it alone. Pray for me. She can be very defensive.
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Old 02-01-2011, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patient4him View Post
Thanxs for the advice. Its just kind of hard to talk to her because I'm the baby sister & she's the oldest. I know she knows its a problem. Hopefully she will talk to him about getting help because he can't do it alone. Pray for me. She can be very defensive.
You should just come right out and confront her with what you suspect. I wouldn't wait and hope he gets help, addicts rarely seek help unless they are faced with no other choice. Before he endangers your sister I'd have a very frank talk with her.
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Old 03-10-2011, 07:42 PM
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Addiction is not personal, it wants what it want...and it will go to any length to get it. Untill the disease is under control it will continue to control the actions of the addict.
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