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  #1  
Old 11-19-2017, 03:27 AM
scenekidseena scenekidseena is offline
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Exclamation Please Help Husband Paroled And Won't Contact Me

I am still in love with him and i won't proceed with a divorce and a subpoena until I hear from him his family won't tell me where he is and I have already had a heart attack and went to hospital since I'm still legally his spouse how can I find out where he is through parole or what I need to know.
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Old 11-19-2017, 05:33 AM
nygirl17 nygirl17 is offline
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Just because your his wife it gives you no legal right to find him through his parole officer. I'm sorry this is happening to you but there isn't really much you can do about it. You either sit around and wait or end it.
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Old 11-19-2017, 05:53 AM
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You dont have a legal right to know where he is. If he wanted to contact you he would.
It sounds like your priority right now should be your health. You don't need all this stress. Focus on your health , and getting well. You need to get support from your friends and family follow doctors advise and look after your own well being.
What happens with him will play out whether you stress over it or not.
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Old 11-19-2017, 07:30 AM
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Love is not always a two-way street...unfortunately, the fact that he has not contacted OP says this is precisely that situation. Pining for someone that has clearly moved on does the OP no good. They need to have their divorce attorney take steps to proceed with the divorce.
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Old 11-19-2017, 09:42 AM
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Agree with others. Worry about your health.
Only thing I could think of is to send him a letter in care of his family. Maybe they will pass it along to him.
Thats the only thing I could think of. Sorry you are still in love with someone who does not want contact with you.
Is it possible that there is a no contact order? Or that contact with you is prohibited by parole?
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Old 11-19-2017, 11:08 PM
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Loving someone makes it hard to be patient. I agree with the others that you should focus on getting yourself well, both physically & emotionally. It may be that he is trying to find himself before he can find you. None of us know but giving him space is all you can do. Writing him a short letter might help you & let him know you are there when he's ready. In it, I would write that you love him & want him to be happy, with you if possible, but in whatever way works. Let him know that you'd like to be in touch but you will wait to hear from him. Then sit back & wait. Give yourself a time limit on that & then think about what you need to do in your life in case he can't make things work. I hope he is just taking a breath to get his head together but be strong to face whatever the future brings.
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Old 11-19-2017, 11:15 PM
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You might want to look into a legal separation to stop his claim on any money/property you might accrue and to prevent him from putting you into debt seeing as you are a community property state.

I like the letter idea.

Fwiw, yuo are not alone with spouses taking off. It is more common than you may expect. I handled a case where the couple were married and on the way home from the ceremony, he decided to stop at the corner store for cigarettes. He popped out the back door and wasn't heard from after. It happens. Your tolerance for it is what is going to define this from here out. But, it can't hurt to give it the time you need to give it. A letter to his family is a good idea, but know that they might not give it to him, and he may not read it.

Try to relax and take care of yourself. Do right by you because he's not doing right by you.
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Old 11-20-2017, 03:38 AM
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Why pursue someone who clearly has shown you that he doesn't care? Take care of yourself and don't give him that much power over you.

Take steps necessary to make sure you do not become responsible for his debts.
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Old 11-20-2017, 06:31 AM
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In my opinion he is telling you by his actions that this relationship is over. The fact that he was released and didn't contact me right away would say to me he doesn't value or respect me. It would piss me off royally that he didn't have the balls to tell me to my face ..serms pretty cowardly to me. One thing I've learned in life is that you can move forward in life and get over anybody..some take longer to get over than others but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you need to send a letter for closure so be it but if it were me I would move forward with the divorce and protect myself and my assets. He didn't even give you the courtesy of telling you it was done. That to me Is the ultimate insult. I hope you find peace and happiness in the future and I'm sorry you are hurting but bottom line is you deserve more..
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Old 12-03-2017, 10:32 AM
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I would think that if you file for divorce that they'd have to be able to serve him his divorce papers...
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Old 12-03-2017, 12:08 PM
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No - if you don't know an address, then filing a legal notice in the newspaper of his last known address will suffice.
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Old 12-03-2017, 12:43 PM
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My ex got a divorce he could not find his estranged wife and so the court gave permission for him to file by publication. That is posting a notice in a local newspaper close to her last known address. There was no response to the notice so he was granted a divorce by default she didnt appear in court or ever sign the papers.
I think its more complicated if there are minor children or shared property but its not impossible.
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