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Old 05-14-2019, 01:56 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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Default CO "picking" on Son

So, my son has been in for 5+ years at same minimum security prison. He called me this am (and he rarely calls as we email most of the time and visit often). A CO is "picking at him," making comments, trying to get my son riled up.

I asked him if he wanted me to get involved and he said no (and I've never called or complained about anything). I asked if he had someone there that he could trust (another CO) that he could ask for advice and he thought he did.

He wanted me to know the name of the CO "in case anything happens." I'm not so worried about his safety but rather that this CO will goad him into something or set him up for a fight.

In the 5+ years he's been here, he's only been in one fight and has only had two other very minor tickets - he's not a troublemake, its a gang-free prison and like I said minimum security.

Any advice? Of course, as a Mom I worry and worry and worry! He has approx 19 months left....Thanks in advance
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:03 PM
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Some people just like to stir the pot. We had one that worked the yard and visitation. It was nerve wracking because he'd be sickeningly sweet to me except around me husband. Then he'd stare us down. He threatened to remove property from him, was a first-class @$$hat. To this day I don't know what his problem was but I knew from talking to other visitors it wasn't just us.

To be honest, we just took it. That may not seem like a very proactive stance, but in this case there were enough people (inmates, visitors and staff) who did wind up filing complaints that he was moved. If it had been just us, it would have been more difficult.

I'm glad your son let you know so if his behaviour changes or he seems stressed you already know why and aren't left in the dark. It sounds like he knows the deal and will handle it the best way he can. This is where it's hard to be out here, too. Wanting to help but not really being able to. Hang in there, mom. He sounds like a smart cookie.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:25 PM
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Thanks....he has gotten a lot smarter in 5.5 years

Hes almost 34 now so not a kid anymore and he's certainly more aware of what is going on. He's concerned (I think) that he would either be goaded into hitting the CO (a huge occurrence) or that the CO will goad another offender into fighting my son (and son doesn't like to fight at all).

Will just try to ride it out....thanks again
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trauma4us View Post
Hes almost 34 now so not a kid anymore and he's certainly more aware of what is going on. He's concerned (I think) that he would either be goaded into hitting the CO (a huge occurrence) or that the CO will goad another offender into fighting my son (and son doesn't like to fight at all).
I'd love to pretend that doesn't happen but I know it does. For every good CO there are three that took the job for a power trip (I made up the stat, lol, but it's how it feels). I met my husband when he was 31 and he'll be 38 this year. Seven "short" years and I've seen his maturity shoot through the roof.

On the shortlist of things we thank incarceration for.
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Old 05-14-2019, 04:31 PM
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I hope he can figure out some way to avoid that CO, although that's not always possible. That's what I did the few times when I was being purposely targeted and goaded by a CO. For a couple of them it was sport, and a good shift for them was when they had harassed a few guys sufficiently to get one of them to act out enough for a violation, or even a trip to the SHU. Depending on how much of an AH the CO was, I wouldn't look at them, and would leave the area where they were whenever I could.
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Old 05-14-2019, 05:20 PM
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My son doesn't tell me much as he knows I worry but I kinda gather this has been going on for a couple of weeks. Apparently this CO picks on a couple of other guys too.

He's the "wing leader" so unfortunately he is with my son during his shift....ugh
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Old 05-15-2019, 05:51 AM
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Only real suggestion I'd have is similar to what fbopnomore and mia said.
Try to avoid the guy as much as he can. Dont talk to him, ask him anything or even look at him if at all possible.
Some of them ARE just a$$hats. And Im sure the other CO's know it too. Those types dont usually stick to one person to harass.
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Old 05-15-2019, 07:53 PM
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Thanks everyone. He has always stuck to himself, doesn't gamble, fight, get into the drama that is prison - he really tries to keep to himself and this has not happened before.

I kinda gather he's scare because when he called me the other day, he gave me the CO's name "in case something happens." So, of course being Mom, I worried even more...
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