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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #1  
Old 08-30-2010, 06:48 AM
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Default Who did you talk to when deciding on having an MWI relationship?

when you were trying to decide if a MWI relationship was right for you? Was it just between you and our significant other or did your friends/family understand enough to be involved? Or did nobody understand and you had to work it out yourself? Or maybe thats where PTO came in?
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  #2  
Old 08-30-2010, 07:45 AM
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It was just me and my significant other (now fiance ). It's hard to do, as you want to share in your happiness and also in those doubtful days, the days I was thinking "what am I doing!!" But keeping it private left me to be introspective, turn more to my faith and keep extraneous opinions out of the picture. There is nobody that knows me better than myself, so that is who I turned to. I really believe the "hows" of our foundation building led us to the strong relationship we have now. By the time I was ready to let people know about our relationship we were established, and in love and their negative opinions (very few...more like concerns) or thoughts did not matter.

But yes, PTO was a help as well. I'm not going to say it always left me feeling relieved. We have a drama free relationship and some of the threads on here left me with the feeling of (to borrow from Patty) PTOHHHH NOOOOOOO! LOL, but it's all a learning experience, and you separate the chafe from the wheat
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  #3  
Old 08-30-2010, 07:52 AM
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hey,
sorry have to ask and it is probably so obvious but what does MWI stand for? im not even going to guess on here to be even more silly lol...on another forum we just say pp's or our men guys ect anyway sorry back to the post.....My friends and family only know i have a penpal they dont know anything about him i guess thats my choice at the moment.
I think the forums are a great place as everyone knows or at least understands what we are all going through.
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  #4  
Old 08-30-2010, 07:56 AM
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MWI = Met While Incarcerated
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:06 AM
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lol how obvious was that having a blonde day today haha
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:32 AM
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well with my ex MWI, I never told anyone but some friends who decided not to be friends because I was looney getting in a relationship with a man in prison. ok. so I kept it to myself and only my kids knew. but with my current babe--my mouth could not help but blab it all out, I even told my mom which was huge for me because I am still wanting her approval. I didn't ask for any advice or anything. i just let everyone know i was in love period.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:33 AM
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when I 1st met him I only talked to the friend that introduced us because I wanted to be sure it wasnt all "game" and I didnt want to involve other people but then as time passed and I realized this was on a deeper level I told anyone that would listen about my baby cause I wanted to share him and how happy he made me with the closest people in my life. At 1st I got some flack but eventually people came around and knew I wasnt letting him go. Now I have plenty people to talk to, vent with & share with, Plus PTO has been great & Ive met some really great people from here so its all a plus for me
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:41 AM
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Ive been with johnny for 4 years now. I love him more than anything. My family dosnt approve at all . They've done everything to break us up. I had a family member who called the prison and said he was a threat to my life. So they stoped my visist for 6 months and moved him 400 miles away from me. That was 3 years ago, were still together stronger than ever. I really dont care about my familys approvel im a grown women who can make my own decisions in life. My friends dont really approve but they see he makes me happy so there willing to give him a chance.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:54 AM
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It's been a process for me. I worry about my parents' opinion, so I did talk to my mom when she brought up her concerns. My best friend also has/had concerns and I've talked to her, but mainly it's just me and J. We know each other and are still getting doing so. But we are the ones in the relationship, so it should be us talking and figuring out if it's right.
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Old 08-30-2010, 10:32 AM
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No one....I had to figure it out in my heart.
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Old 08-30-2010, 11:41 AM
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My best friend.. and later on my younger sister thats it..

my mom says.. if you dont want people in ur business to tell people your business lol..

I cant really tell my fam. bcuz this is my second mwi relationship and i dont even wanna go there.. =0)
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Old 08-30-2010, 11:53 AM
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Thanks ladies (and gents if you added your two cents!). I really appreciate all the replies. I guess I've gotten to the stage myself where these thoughts are starting to roll around my head and it's nice to know that I'm not too far off from what the rest of you lovely ladies did.

Am I MWI? I'll let you know afer my visit in 10 days Guess we'll see how things pan out then.
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Old 08-30-2010, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rmcarrol View Post
when you were trying to decide if a MWI relationship was right for you? Was it just between you and our significant other or did your friends/family understand enough to be involved? Or did nobody understand and you had to work it out yourself? Or maybe thats where PTO came in?
I was with him a year before I found PTO. It was more of a decision between him and I. Everyone kept saying " hes just using you.." All the stuff people automatically asume and I didn't need all that negativity. Now, everyone knows how much we love eachother and is respectful of my decision to be with him. He will be in the HWH this week after 2 YEARS I believe I made an excellent choice! Good luck. Oh and BTW, this shit is not cut out for everyone and its extreamly hard on a person to deal with having a man in jail. So, think long and HARD about if YOU can handle this.
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  #14  
Old 08-30-2010, 06:02 PM
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When we started writing each other, I was instantly smitten. I didn't talk to anyone not even my sister or her husband, who just happened to introduce us. We decided that since I was having a rotten time finding "the one" that I would not get into a relationship. I was giving myself a year, to go to the gym, school, and take care of things in my life. When men in general hadn't sparked my interest. I got a letter from My MWI. I told him I was a very private person, but was talking to my sister. He wrote me a couple weeks ago and told me he was feeling an emotional connection to me. I am already gone for this dude. I've finally told my closest friends and they are supportive, and happy for me. They are the ones who know I am not single and respect that. some think I am nuts, but since my sister introduced me to this site, I find I am not nuts. I like a man in prison, and not ashamed to admit it.
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:07 PM
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I worked it out mostly myself. I came to PTO when I was on the cusp of a decision and reading the posts here gave me encouragment that we could work it out.
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  #16  
Old 08-30-2010, 11:24 PM
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PTO came in 14 years later...........as for MY decision to become involved with my MWI, it was MY decision. I talked to him and only him. I don't take a lot of stock in talking to others about IF I should get involved with someone, but I DO talk to lots of people on here because of the support for my relationship. This is a decision only YOU and HE can make............at least that is my thought.
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Old 08-30-2010, 11:40 PM
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Me & my best friends and my mum
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Old 08-31-2010, 07:39 PM
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The decision to get involved with my MWI was solely between him and I! No one else! Up until the our first visit he was just a "friend".
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Old 09-02-2010, 04:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoNpal View Post
I worked it out mostly myself. I came to PTO when I was on the cusp of a decision and reading the posts here gave me encouragment that we could work it out.
Yep me too!

I lurked around the MWI forum for a little while and seeing a lot of positive stories decided eventually that I wasn't crazy and jumped in with both feet. Almost five years on and still going strong!
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:09 PM
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For a long time it was just he, I and PTO now its no secret and anyone who doesnt agree can MOVE AROUND!
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:30 PM
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My Lord and Savior is the One that I talked, talk, and will be talking to.

Most people, who have never experienced loving an inmate, will be uncaring and judgemental. Oftentimes, their opinion will be biased and not a positive, realist but a negative, condenming bias.

Although, I was going to make the ultimate decision myself, I still needed someone to hear me out. That's exactly what they did. They heard me but they weren't listening; they simply had no vested interest in my relationship or for that matter my feelings.

The only non-judgemental entity that I knew wouldn't steer me in the wrong direction was the Lord. Prayer was the only thing I could do to get my frustrations out. It seemed difficult to get a concrete response but I wasn't ready to receive it.

Now that I have my PTO fam, a community with shared values/experiences/beliefs, I gained an additional outlet. He sent me here to get some of those concrete answers that I wanted and to hopefully be a blessing to others as they have definitely been to me.
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