Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!

Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Domestic Violence
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Domestic Violence News and information relating to domestic violence in general. Please post here if you don't see a sub-forums that fits better.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-21-2018, 01:40 PM
Trantham's Avatar
Trantham Trantham is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
Posts: 91
Thanks: 99
Thanked 171 Times in 65 Posts

Originally Posted by mackadoodle View Post
Not to mention I have subpoenas for 4 court dates coming up plus the time I took off when it actually happened- we've been eating a lot of rice lately lmao.

Rice is good. Food banks are good. Trust me on that. I have been in need at times in the past and I am fortunate enough to be in a position to donate these days. Children should never have to get by when it comes to nutrition. The food bank will help you. To find the one closest to you go to

and they can refer you to some place close to your home that can help. Life is a lot better when you don't have to worry about every single thing - especially where the next meal is coming from.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Trantham For This Useful Post:
Ann Onimous (04-16-2018), Chaddersgirl (02-21-2018), nimuay (02-21-2018), Serbgirl (03-08-2018), sidewalker (02-22-2018), xolady (03-10-2018)
Sponsored Links
Old 02-25-2018, 02:01 AM
Anna7 Anna7 is offline
I love my Kindle

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 143
Thanks: 70
Thanked 223 Times in 79 Posts

Originally Posted by prisonlady View Post
He doesn't seem that violent and he did not use any weapons or act as if he actually wanted to kill. In fact, he seems to have gotten better, and the problem seems to be the simple fact that the expected standard nowadays is zero violence and he is not quite there yet. It did not happen many times either, so that's a plus.

He may just be a great guy (he agreed to take on two stepchildren after all) who would get angry once in a while because of some situational trigger such as job loss or drinking. And he stopped drinking too.

I feel that at this time, the relationship still has some potential to eventually work out. He won't just be left to his own devices once he gets out anyway. He can expect to be prevented from resuming the relationship and then, if both partners really want it, potentially getting the opportunity to prove over time that he is safe to be around. It may, in fact, be very hard to get back together legally even if they both wanted it, since the system is trying to prevent tragedies from happening.

Supporting 3 kids is hard. If the parents manage to get back together and get along well, it may get easier financially provided the man gets work again.

He doesn’t seem “that violent??” You’re either a violent person or you’re not, like you’re either pregnant or you’re not.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Anna7 For This Useful Post:
Chaddersgirl (02-27-2018), fbopnomore (02-25-2018), ItsMe81 (03-17-2018), xolady (03-10-2018)
Old 03-08-2018, 04:24 AM
Fredslady5 Fredslady5 is offline
Account Closed

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Illinois
Posts: 168
Thanks: 0
Thanked 137 Times in 72 Posts

Run!! like Forrest Gump .. GOD did not create us to be abused mental or physical..take some time for just you and your kids
Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2018, 12:42 PM
TenToesDownBaby's Avatar
TenToesDownBaby TenToesDownBaby is offline
Hannah & Jimmy

Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 64
Thanks: 55
Thanked 59 Times in 35 Posts

Reading that first sentence where you state he laid hands on you, I didn't have to read any further. Leave him.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TenToesDownBaby For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (03-10-2018), ItsMe81 (03-17-2018)
Old 03-17-2018, 06:58 PM
ItsMe81's Avatar
ItsMe81 ItsMe81 is offline

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Indiana
Posts: 610
Thanks: 516
Thanked 385 Times in 199 Posts

Because I personally been thru this I feel I can comment on it. I always needed to vent but unfortunately anything anyone would tell me would go in one ear and out the other. I would always make excuses for him or compare it to something that could be worse. Physical abuse is physical abuse tho!!! I held on to the "I'm sorrys I'm gonna change" but they fell silent when it HAPPENED again and trust ME it happened again and again. I was scared and I had a kid with him so in my mind it made it harder. It took getting pinned down and kicked in the ribs for me to do something. It all just came to me. I promised myself should I crawl thru the hallway and to that damn door this would be the last time. It was too. He went to jail and had to do some county time over it. I realized I had to love myself more than what I did. For me and my child and for good. I only speak out of experience to you but please understand it will get worse before it gets better. Love doesn't HIT!!!!!!
❤You aren't just my GREAT LOVE story, you were my BIG BREAK. And Our love story, I know it might not feel like it right now, but I promise its just getting started❤

Last edited by ItsMe81; 03-17-2018 at 07:01 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ItsMe81 For This Useful Post:
nimuay (03-18-2018), xolady (04-01-2018)
Old 03-17-2018, 07:10 PM
Wallflower78me's Avatar
Wallflower78me Wallflower78me is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 186
Thanks: 53
Thanked 95 Times in 62 Posts

Originally Posted by notanylonger2018 View Post
Yikes is it possible to delete a post?

This is crazy and out of hand drama and I don't really need it right now.

I understand where (most) of yall are coming from but some of it is quite curt.

I already made my decision, he wrote me via my sons name at my parents address- and has all his priviliges taken away and an extra charge. All I need now is to come up with the ridiculous amount of money to file a divorce.

He has also been divorced( technically annulled) before and I reached out to her and he hit her too. Granted yeah it's been "less" to who ever lives in 1700- I also left out parts of both instances. The first time her destroyed my phone and kept pulling my arms so I couldn't get out of the house to call. I finally did and the cop didn't believe me. Took pictures of the marks and said it looked like j did it myself. Lol. Nothing ever came of it.

The second incident he was driving me to the pharmacy after he hit me and seeing how the first time he wouldnt let me get my phone I waited until I was in the pharmacy to call- in the car he did indeed threaten to kill me, ran red lights so I couldnt get out of the car and drove upwards of 60mph in a 25 so I couldn't get out while repeatedly swerving through traffic and slamming on the brakes.

I just had a moment of weakness coming from his grams texting me telling me all this stuff.

Contact legal aid where you live & they will do the divorce for free. It’s a service they offer anyway but they move you up the waiting list if you are a victim of domestic violence. This is what I did when I divorced my ex - husband. I’m glad you are getting away. I stayed for 2 kids, 11 years. It took me almost that many years to heal , get myself back. Best wishes to you!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Wallflower78me For This Useful Post:
nimuay (03-18-2018), Sarianna (03-19-2018), xolady (04-01-2018)
Old 03-29-2018, 01:30 AM
Quiet Storm's Avatar
Quiet Storm Quiet Storm is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 

Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 78
Thanks: 98
Thanked 96 Times in 42 Posts

I'm going to keep this post general because the OP hasn't posted in awhile, but I wanted to say something about domestic abuse that maybe hasn't been made clear in this thread.

First of all, OP.... get a divorce. If you research it you will find a way to do it for less than $450, even for free. You can fill out the paperwork yourself. I did this. Where it gets expensive and complicated is if your spouse contests anything financially or in terms of child support or custody. In most cases, division of finances is clear cut; it's the child support/custody issues that can get complicated. But I would file, then wait and see if he chooses to fight that battle.

I don't agree with the comments from prisonwoman overall, but I see where some of it is coming from. First, there is no excuse for physical (or emotional) violence in a relationship --- from EITHER SIDE. I may have read the first post in this thread the same way she did. The OP said the violence instigated with her punching him in the face. There is no excuse for what he did afterward, but there is also no excuse for what she did. It doesn't matter if you have a vagina or a penis. You DO NOT be physically violent towards another person. You do NOT. It's inexcusable.

I'm sure there is a lot more to the story than is on this thread. But I am only reacting to what I had access to read. She did not deserve what this man did to her. But neither did this man deserve to be punched in the face.

I speak as a woman who divorced after 17 years of being emotionally (verbally) abused. As such, it's not so black and white, as much as it should be. It just isn't. It becomes shades of gray. I think that's where prisonwoman's "it's not very violent" comment might have come from. Yes it's wrong, but it's common thinking among women who have been in this situation. How much is too much to leave?

In my case, I put up with 17 years of verbal and emotional abuse, until one day when he took it physical. On that day, he raped me (in his office) and he punched me in the eye. I didn't call the police. That was when I decided to divorce him. I could look in the mirror and see the black eye, and I could show other people and they would believe me.

The real truth was that it took me much longer to heal from the emotional/verbal abuse than when he hit or raped me. The real truth was that I should have left him much sooner. I shouldn't have had to see the evidence of his abuse and violence in the mirror in order to make that decision. I should have seen it inside myself.
The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Quiet Storm For This Useful Post:
Ann Onimous (04-16-2018), fbopnomore (03-29-2018), xolady (04-01-2018)
Old 04-05-2018, 09:04 AM
BubbleGuppy BubbleGuppy is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Pontiac, Michigan
Posts: 18
Thanks: 3
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

Leave him. I've been hit my drunk girls several times and knew to walk away.

Hitting you while being sober because of job pressures is really bad. You have so many years ahead of you to build a good life.

If you hook up with anyone else while he is in jail, he will ask you about it when he gets out. Can you guarantee 100% that he will take that pain without reacting.
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Torn...love him sooo much but can't tell him we can stay together jjones5213 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 8 06-24-2012 06:01 PM
I don't know if I should stay with him or leave him. patience2012 PTO Lounge 66 07-07-2010 07:54 AM
Torn...Should I stay or should I go? wizewifey Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 8 11-18-2008 08:01 PM
I Want 2 Leave I Want 2 Stay nu2this05 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 19 12-13-2005 02:13 PM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:14 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics