Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Wives & Girlfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Wives & Girlfriends in Prison For everyone who has a wife, girlfriend, or female partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-27-2019, 07:46 AM
Wanderiam Wanderiam is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 17
Thanks: 0
Thanked 11 Times in 9 Posts
Default How do you create and continue intimacy with an inmate.

I'm sure everyone's situation is different and I'm counting on it. Some people were married before they went in or boyfriend, girlfriend relationships. Both were intimate prior to going in. I met my girlfriend through penpals and have become more serious. We share a connection. At first I was having relationships off and on. Little fun here and there. She accepted it but as time has moved on she is getting more possessive. I do love her but I'm being asked to give up any type of physical contact out here. Sex isnt that important but sometimes it presents itself. Anyways, I want to be more intimate with her. I already share the Hope's and dreams, that's covered but I long for her touch, yeah right, airport hugs and kisses. Oh sure I try and sneak a touch and its exciting but short lived. So please tell us your ways of being inmate, stating if your married or just gf, bf. Thanks
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Wanderiam For This Useful Post:
WaitingWilkes (01-27-2019)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 01-27-2019, 10:49 AM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is online now
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,493
Thanks: 8,353
Thanked 11,091 Times in 4,616 Posts
Default

A prison relationship is very limiting and if you are not ready to give up sex then its best to be honest about that and not lead her on to think that you can. Why should you give up sex if you dont want to?

My love and I have been platonic friends , boyfriend and girlfriend and now husband and wife. I married him knowing the physical limitations of our situation. I accepted that. I would not want an open relationship as I love him. Our hugs and kisses are at visits every 3 months.

We put the effort in to maintain our intimacy and it works for us but its not for everyone. We are intimate in letters emails (we have to be careful as Colorado don't allow letters and messages to be too explicit and we have phone sex most days.

Its possible and each couple is different , but its not easy and you shouldnt promise something you cant offer.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-27-2019, 03:01 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 1,187
Thanks: 729
Thanked 919 Times in 530 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanderiam View Post
... please tell us your ways of being intimate, stating if your married or just gf, bf. Thanks

I'm married. Brains are our primary "intimacy organ." Sharing intimate thoughts on visits as much as lack of privacy permits, and by phone and mail, if appropriate as far as rules and your feelings about it permit. We never had anything refused by our mail room. We don't do phone sex. Conversations will be recorded and may be eavesdropped on and/or played later for someone's amusement. We send intimate letters and stories and articles about things we both enjoy. Staring into a loved one's eyes while holding hands and talking can be extremely intimate. So can corresponding by letter can be very erotic if you consider that you and your loved one are focusing exclusively on each other while you write. (The prison my wife is in doesn't have tablets.) Free World intimacy or lack of it can be an issue, like most other things in an inside/outside relationship. You and she will have to negotiate something that works for both of you or find ways to live with things that you can't agree on. My wife and I negotiated something that works for us. It started with my not keeping any secrets from her, meaning I'd answer any questions she had. It was hard for her for a while. She got used to it and now it's a part of our intimate life that we share.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WaitingWilkes For This Useful Post:
Taliba00 (02-02-2019)
  #4  
Old 01-28-2019, 12:47 AM
Revenwyn Revenwyn is offline
Married May 27, 2017!
 

Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California, USA- Husband in Colorado
Posts: 866
Thanks: 749
Thanked 679 Times in 340 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by maytayah View Post
We are intimate in letters emails (we have to be careful as Colorado don't allow letters and messages to be too explicit and we have phone sex most days.
As you know, mine's also in Colorado and we had a letter withheld simply because we mentioned the word sex and were talking about ideally how often we would want it. Just to make sure we were compatible. Crazy. And then on the phone he tried to get his answer to that question, and our call got cut off.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-28-2019, 10:37 AM
DoubleDown DoubleDown is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 39
Thanks: 6
Thanked 31 Times in 16 Posts
Default

It's difficult to say the least. We used letters mostly. As far as the no sex is concerned with other people my opinion is you are either in the relationship or you are friends. But that is the conversation you have to have with her.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-28-2019, 10:43 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 1,187
Thanks: 729
Thanked 919 Times in 530 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DoubleDown View Post
It's difficult to say the least. We used letters mostly. As far as the no sex is concerned with other people my opinion is you are either in the relationship or you are friends. But that is the conversation you have to have with her.

I think a relationship is whatever participants agree it is.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WaitingWilkes For This Useful Post:
KiwiPP (01-28-2019)
  #7  
Old 01-28-2019, 12:38 PM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is online now
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 8,493
Thanks: 8,353
Thanked 11,091 Times in 4,616 Posts
Default

Some couples have very successful open relationships and it works for them.
Its not for me I am faithful and I need someone the same.
There are all different kinds of relationships, love comes in all shapes and sizes. However the important thing is that both parties want the same thing. It cant work if you want and need different things.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to maytayah For This Useful Post:
KiwiPP (01-28-2019), WaitingWilkes (01-29-2019)
  #8  
Old 01-29-2019, 11:43 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 1,187
Thanks: 729
Thanked 919 Times in 530 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by maytayah View Post
Some couples have very successful open relationships and it works for them. ... There are all different kinds of relationships, love comes in all shapes and sizes. However the important thing is that both parties want the same thing. It cant work if you want and need different things.
Both parties may want the same thing but it might not be possible. Each partner must understand the other's needs, limitations and possibilities and try to accommodate them. It's not easy or pleasant at times. Nothing about a long term inside/outside relationship is always easy or pleasant. The question each partner needs to answer is "is it worth it?"
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WaitingWilkes For This Useful Post:
Taliba00 (02-02-2019)
  #9  
Old 02-01-2019, 06:52 AM
fentastic0076 fentastic0076 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 5
Thanked 20 Times in 13 Posts
Default

So, my situation may be a little different in the sense that I go pick my loved one up in three days from FPC Alderson. It will have been 8 months since she went away, so not near what some of you are dealing with, or have dealt with.
I can honestly say though, that our relationship has grown closer and more intimate since she's been gone, but it was intentional on both our parts. We made the decision to maintain almost constant communication. Obviously she doesn't have a phone or what not, but we email multiple times a day, send letters back and forth, speak on the phone every night, and video chat once a week. In terms of physical intimacy there's been none, but what I've learned about relationships is that emotional intimacy is much, much deeper, and is the root of having a fulfilling physical relationship. So, what I've chosen to do is to continue to build our friendship, our partnership, to set goals, and plan, and to prepare for the future.
It's worked for us, I'm not sure how it would be had it been years instead of months though...I can't speak to that.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to fentastic0076 For This Useful Post:
maytayah (02-01-2019), Taliba00 (02-02-2019), WaitingWilkes (02-01-2019)
  #10  
Old 02-01-2019, 08:36 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 1,187
Thanks: 729
Thanked 919 Times in 530 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fentastic0076 View Post
So, my situation may be a little different in the sense that I go pick my loved one up in three days from FPC Alderson. It will have been 8 months since she went away, so not near what some of you are dealing with, or have dealt with. ...
It's worked for us, I'm not sure how it would be had it been years instead of months though...I can't speak to that.
Intimacy occurs between the ears rather than the legs.

Congratulations to your lady on her imminent return to the Free World! I hope it works out for both of you.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-22-2019, 11:34 PM
Wanderiam Wanderiam is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 17
Thanks: 0
Thanked 11 Times in 9 Posts
Default

Update: it's been about 5 months since I asked the intimacy question. We are closer then before. Always learning. All my relationship have been backwards. Attraction, mess around then get to know them better. So this is new to me. Getting yo know her from the inside first. Slow the roll as they say. She is my best friend and now she just found out they denied her commutation on grounds she hasn't done enough time. I feel very strongly that people change over the years and better themselves. The punishment clearly doesnt fit the crime. I'm sure maybe this isnt the correct thread but doing a 50 year sentence for a incest crime seems insane. 36 with manditories. So I'm asking does you man/ woman deserve the time given. You can respond in private message if you like.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Wanderiam For This Useful Post:
jessesgirl1111 (07-25-2019)
  #12  
Old 07-15-2019, 10:23 PM
mamaandbooba's Avatar
mamaandbooba mamaandbooba is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 28
Thanks: 36
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Confiding in each other is our intimacy now that we can't hold each other. Of course, I miss the physical intimacy with him so much...but there's nothing we can do. All we have are our words and our dedication to each other left xx
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Louisiana Sheriff Comments Create Backlash Over Inmate Labor miamac World Prison News 5 10-14-2017 09:42 AM
Prison inmate create Brail materials traviesita California Prison & Criminal Justice News & Events + 3 Strikes 0 12-22-2011 05:24 PM
Bill would create ombudsman in Nevada AG's office to hear inmate's complaints Dointimetoo Nevada Prison & Legal News, Info & Events 0 03-13-2011 12:46 PM
Not sure if I want to continue writing to this inmate IcyCool7227 Prison Inmate Pen-Pal Talk 7 09-10-2009 02:16 AM
CT Death row inmate tells judge he wants to continue appeal heureuse Connecticut Prison & Criminal Justice News & Events 0 07-24-2003 07:05 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:04 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics