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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #126  
Old 04-26-2017, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by liveweyerd View Post
From experience, some men regard restraining orders as challenges. In my case it just made things worse.

My counselor told me when I went to court that whatever I do, do not look him in the eyes.

I went no contact.

And, then, yes, I moved about 1000 miles away, telling almost no one.

It took me about 6 weeks for it to set in that I was safely anonymous..what a glorious feeling!

File for that child support!
I have already contacted the Attorney General's office for the child support. I can understand not looking at him. I cant look at him. I am going to move as soon as school is out. I need to get away. Thank you for the response.
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  #127  
Old 04-26-2017, 08:34 PM
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I wish I lived closer. I sure WOULD go with you! Hang in there. You WILL get through this.
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  #128  
Old 04-26-2017, 08:36 PM
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There's a great sticky in the domestic violence forum, HERE. Read through it and it may help a little.
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  #129  
Old 04-27-2017, 05:38 AM
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I wish I lived closer. I sure WOULD go with you! Hang in there. You WILL get through this.
Thank you. That is super sweet of you. (If I had to grab someone off the streets to go with me, I would probably be grabbing some of his street walking drug hoe "women"). Ok I need to be nice. But it is true. ha.
I will be ok. Thank you so much for being so sweet.
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  #130  
Old 04-27-2017, 04:29 PM
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He got out 2 weeks ago yesterday. I thought my world would change and it did, but not like I thought. I have not heard a word from him since Monday. He locked himself out of the phone I bought him and lost the receipt. He wanted me to wire him some money to buy a new phone. I was willing to buy the phone and Walmart site to store purchase it. He had a fit at me and called me STUPID and other names, and hung up on me. He text me and told me "I just don't care anymore" and that was the last I heard from him.
I ended up in the ER with my blood sugar so high my meter would only read "HIGH" which means over 500. My dad died at 520. I was scared. Chest pains. Hard to breathe. I text his sisters when I left to go to the ER on Monday night, and I have yet to hear from his ass. He has shown me who, and what, he really is.
Revenge time....lol. Naw...Well, maybe. Hit him where it counts. Past Child support in the amount of a little over $40,000.00, which I was willing to write off with the Attorney General's office since we were back together. ha. not anymore. Call me mean, but he played head games and he played with my heart....
All he wanted was money, and I'm sure he did NOT lock his phone. Or maybe he did sell it for drugs?. That I'd believe. I'm sorry but dude is telling you with his actions that he is an asshole,he's not worth even ONE tear.

PS,I just saw your above post,I'm glad to see you are done with him!.
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  #131  
Old 04-28-2017, 08:43 PM
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There's a great sticky in the domestic violence forum, HERE. Read through it and it may help a little.
Thank you so much. I read through that. Some of it is very useful. I have been reading quite a bit on domestic violence and how to handle the emotional abuse. I need to go to counseling. I am going to call Monday and see what I can find here in my area that is affordable. Thank you so much.
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  #132  
Old 05-03-2017, 12:20 PM
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Well, tomorrow morning is the day. I am scared, nervous, I do not want to see him, but he will be in there. I know I am doing the right thing, but I am still scared to death. Wish me luck and please say a prayer for me. Thank you
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  #133  
Old 05-03-2017, 02:00 PM
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You're doing what's best for your safety and the safety of your children...you can do this!! Stay strong
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  #134  
Old 05-03-2017, 02:29 PM
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We will all be with you in spirit. Hold your head high. You are strong!! Don't give him the power to scare you.

Good luck.
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  #135  
Old 05-03-2017, 03:01 PM
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Thinking of you!!
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  #136  
Old 05-03-2017, 05:46 PM
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Been there, done that, though not with kids involved. It is do-able. Promise.
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  #137  
Old 05-04-2017, 11:24 AM
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Thank you all. This was the hardest thing to do. One of the hardest days of my life. I did what I had to do. I feel bad, but yet good, at the same time. (If that makes any sense). His Parole Officer recommended ISF. He had 8 violations and all 8 were used against him. 2 threats, 4 monitor alerts, 1 no contact and 1 curfew violation. The hearing officer said that the voting panel could go along with the ISF placement or decide to revoke him. Since he was out less than a month, I am leaning toward them revoking him. He will die in prison. That makes me feel bad.
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  #138  
Old 05-04-2017, 11:50 AM
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He should be revoked. ISF will do no good and in 6 months he will be out again causing all kinds of hell.

I understand the good/bad feelings. It's because you are a good person and don't want to feel like you are "sending him back." When we all know he is sending himself back.

Congratulations on making it through the hearing. Hopefully you will start to feel better day by day. Schools almost out, then you can move.
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  #139  
Old 05-04-2017, 12:35 PM
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He should be revoked. ISF will do no good and in 6 months he will be out again causing all kinds of hell.

I understand the good/bad feelings. It's because you are a good person and don't want to feel like you are "sending him back." When we all know he is sending himself back.

Congratulations on making it through the hearing. Hopefully you will start to feel better day by day. Schools almost out, then you can move.
Hopefully since he has 8 violations, he will be revoked since he wasn't even out a month and had that many. But with the Texas Board, who knows what will happen.
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  #140  
Old 05-04-2017, 08:11 PM
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Hopefully since he has 8 violations, he will be revoked since he wasn't even out a month and had that many. But with the Texas Board, who knows what will happen.
Eight allegations is a concern, although much will depend on whether the PO offered up sufficient evidence to prove up all eight. Hearing Officers are bound by not only Policy and Procedure but also by the Rules of Evidence and the various court Opinions associated with the revocation process.

Through the years, I have seen revocations on a single allegation that was seemingly innocuous and I have seen continue supervision or ISF decisions with a litany of allegations, to include new law violations. Sometimes hearings hinge on whether there was counsel appointed OR engaged that actually know what they are doing. I reviewed a waiver just recently where there was a halfway house violation and a failure to pay fees that resulted in revocation. The decision still has me scratching my head as to what anyone was thinking in that case...

That the PO recommended ISF is absolutely appalling given the circumstances you have described. It is utterly irresponsible on their part. I can only hope this will be one of those cases where the PO's recommendation is not given a great deal of weight by the Hearing Officer, the Panel Analyst or the Panel tasked with voting the case.
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  #141  
Old 05-07-2017, 10:21 PM
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Hopefully you're doing ok
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  #142  
Old 05-08-2017, 11:36 AM
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I WILL lean how to maneuver this site again sheesh
I am sick of hearing women that stood by these men and are left shortly after they come out or never heard from again.. I'm really getting pissed at the disrespect of these men.

unfortunate this happened more then people realize. it is a shame,,

how ever, I wrote an article many years ago, well actually my penal wrote that one, about prison mentality. It actually helps us understand what it is for them once they are out. if you do a search on my name, the article should come up

I am however so sorry this is happened to you..
To Tex, I'm sorry I wasn't nice in my first post many pages ago. I've read the thead and see that you are with this man for THIRTY YEARS!!. I almost fainted for you when I saw that. Damn that way to long to put up with this suit. And I can sorta see why your daughter in law and son want you away from him. THey are hopefully doing a version of tough love. Would. you wan your own daughter to hook up with a gang banger?. I sure as hell wouldn't . And I now understand why they got angry with you for telling the guy about what they said. They were/are scared of him - understandably so. I'd just try to forget him.Even if he came around you'd always being thinking of how he treated you and wondering why and for how long he's back.

LULU - I found the thead you spoke of. Actually I thought you meant an article you wrote for an internet site. But this thread- I'm linking to here showed up.

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31902

Last edited by Dobbie_Elf; 05-08-2017 at 11:39 AM..
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  #143  
Old 05-15-2017, 07:02 AM
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He got out. I cannot believe it. I got a call from Vinelink last night, saying he was released. I am so mad. So disgusted with our system. The detective on my case is out until the 17th, so I have to wait to talk to him about presenting the charges to the DA. NOW. I am so mad. I have to live in fear because of some young stupid parole officer who apparently did not do her job. I even called her 3 times last week and she has yet to return my calls. The detective was going to call her Thursday. Maybe he can help.
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  #144  
Old 05-15-2017, 07:16 AM
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I am so sorry. I responded on your other thread in dv.
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  #145  
Old 05-17-2017, 01:53 AM
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My heart is breaking. I don't know what to even do. he got out on the 8th and I thought things would work for us even with the parole issues. I really thought he had changed. He had me fooled. He told me over and over that he loves me, but the truth of the matter is, he "has love for me" but he is not IN LOVE with me and he probably never was. He told a friend of mine that he was still going to move up here with me and help me get on my feet, but that for long term, he is not staying. That's what she said that he told her. I have 2 children who are 9 and 6. I can see them getting attached to him, just to have him leave us. I don't want his help. I wanted him to love me the way that I love him. He may not even be capable of love. I don't know. Of course he is denying saying any of this. I am torn. Why would she lie to me? Why would he lie to me? Everything he has, I bought him and without me, he has nothing. But I still was not good enough. I am so tired. Mentally exhausted. I tried. I really tried. I put so much into this these past years, and I don't know how to let go. I just want to go lay down and cry, but my daughter is so emotional right now, she is 6, and I cannot do that to her. I am silently going crazy in my head. I need help....
Sorry you are going thru this look up narcissism I just went thru this myself and I learned a lot about my ex guys in prison are bad about using people up to get what they want and discarding u it helped me to read and understand that I have to love myself first and require respect in relationships I hope it helps you deserve better than what you're getting you and your kids
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  #146  
Old 05-17-2017, 07:44 PM
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Well one thing to be glad of as far as safety goes is that he's WHITE not MEXICAN cause if he was in a Hispanic gang then you'd for sure have to move. AB ain't shit compared to the real bad boys of gangs.
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  #147  
Old 05-17-2017, 08:14 PM
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Well one thing to be glad of as far as safety goes is that he's WHITE not MEXICAN cause if he was in a Hispanic gang then you'd for sure have to move. AB ain't shit compared to the real bad boys of gangs.
I think fear is genuine regardless and it's not about who holds the title of "baddest". When it's your life, it's not comforting to deal in stats.

OP-- I'm sorry this is happening. I hope you are able to speak with someone and gain some traction. Do you happen to have a way to leave temporarily if need be? Bag packed, a little cash, friends to help? I hope this is all bravado and overblown ego, but if you can check in here and let us know you're safe, we'd be grateful.
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