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Straight Talk The general Ex-Offender discussion forum. If you have done time, this forum is for you.

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Old 08-05-2019, 03:38 PM
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Default If Only They Had Thoughts Of The Fate That Awaits The Hater

When you believe in things that you don't understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain't the way
Superstition by Stevie Wonder

[i](April 2014 Dallas County Jail / Lew Sterrett / North Tower)
He'd killed his wife, mother in law and father in law two years before in a fit of rage that no one dared dream he was capable of. He and I were cellies during the time of his trial and during my 2nd parole violation as a result of not staying in compliance with SISP that would result in another trip to ISF. I would stay gone for 7 months, he is gone forever after receiving life without parole. Once he was sentenced while awaiting transfer to prison, he would quietly sob much of the day and night. No crying or sound or emotion......just a slow steady flow of tears from his eyes because he knew......he knew it was over. The reality of here ever after had changed what ever it was that caused him kill three people to a helpless and troubled soul who forever forfeited this thing called freedom or the right to live in the free world. I would look at him sometimes and realize that the consequences and the reality of what was to follow in the aftermath of the murders he committed were something he had'n't considered or given any thought to.


This past weekend here in Texas (El Paso) and later Ohio, was yet another example of the reoccurring trend to do with hatred, automatic weapons in the hands of a maniac and the unbelievable carnage/harm that occurs in such a short time. And yes, it is bizarre to say the least how frequent mass shootings have become and the fact that we're having a hard time putting a stop to it. However, as someone who has spent almost 20 years in prison here in Texas to do with robbery, alcoholism and a drug problem I have seen my share of men come through the prison system that will never be released. And it's a sight to behold when a person comprehends the here ever after part of life in prison. "I took someone's life out of anger or resentment or whatever only for the rest of my life to be spent in this place.....my God.....what have I done?"

There's no turning back for them and I often think especially in the case of someone who winds up on death row or in a situation involving life without parole, if they could fathom or even vaguely consider the eternal reality of what happens in the aftermath of what they did before it happens, there can be no doubt that the grim hardships of prison are enough to insure sanity. It's profound just how sane and level headed a person becomes when first entering prison. Depression, bi polar disorder, schizophrenia.....whatever are not the character defects that stand out the most when one of these guys learns of the fate that awaits the hater. It's the fear and the horrible comprehension that life as they knew it is now over with. From here on out there is a price to be paid that will prove not to be worth what it took for a few moments of attention or to be held in awestruck horror or for the sake of some twisted form of self gratification.

Some of the more sobering memories and deterrents to going back to prison that scare me when I recall them, are the men I did time with who will never be released and the day in, day out struggle to cope with that reality on their part. In the midst of the trending madness we see with all the mass shootings, I know that's the one thing the haters are not prepared for is the ever after and the fact that it won't be a happy one. And as fate would have it, the victims and the loved ones of victims are not destined to bare the greatest suffering.....it is the hater himself that will know and come to know a set of hardships that are more difficult than death or grief in the free world and that is a slow death in a place called prison where every day you live, you do so knowing that you're wrong and that it didn't have to be that way, but in the end and until the end, thats the way it is.
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Old 08-06-2019, 07:58 AM
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4Bobby 4Bobby is offline
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As usual, your insight is very profound. Thank you.
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