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Old 05-25-2018, 10:08 AM
yourself yourself is offline

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OP: you know your heart and you know your actions.

Here's the the thing; nobody knows how to distinguish between you and the cases where inmates play guards and staff. It's inherent in the population: some inmates will play guards so that they can a) do things and get away with it, b) have contraband brought it, c) expose other inmates, staff, and family to threats, extortion, and violence, d) escape. An extreme example of a relationship that went much farther than the op would be The NY escapees a while back http://https://www.cnn.com/2015/07/28/us/new-york-prison-break-mitchell/index.html

The other thing is that the institution does not know your heart, or how to distinguish between you and other COs and staff who use their position of authority to abuse prisoners. Such abuse happens so frequently that a brief internet search pulled up a case from yesterday. http://www.watertowndailytimes.com/n...nmate-20180524. Sexual abuse and physical abuse are serious problems, not just from an institutional liability point of view, but from the perspective of the inmate and the inmate's family. COs and staff who engage inmates are using their position of authority. There is a force issue involved as frequently the inmate does not feel like he or she has a choice in the matter.

And then there's you. You have fallen in love with an inmate. Fine. Whatever. But the issue that you have to deal with is that your relationship - not the feeling, but the actions taken on the feeling including but not limited to any interaction with the inmate that falls outside of the scope of your work duties - was inappropriate.

I hear it all the time from sex offenders - the victim seduced me, I'm in love and the heart wants what the heart wants. Doesn't matter - your feelings are just feelings. Your actions are what we're inappropriate. If you found the love of your life while he was an inmate and you were a CO, you should have not acted until he was not an inmate in your institution, or an inmate period.

So, there you are, in love, he's apparently reciprocating, and you are out of a job because of your actions. They will investigate. It doesn't matter what you actually did or did not do - it matters what they can prove. You are a convenient target for any contraband, bad acts, plots, schemes, or anything else they uncover. Remember, this isn't about you and your paramour - this is about the institution, all the staff and inmates in the institution, and liability.

So, let's imagine for a moment, that some inmate in the same pod as your LO was in was found with a cellphone. Said inmate knows that you've been fired because of your relationship with the guy who's now in the hole. He has a lot of options when they confront him about that cellphone. He can sit quiet and take the brunt of the blame and punishment for that cellphone - losing visitation, losing privileges, maybe finding himself in the hole as well, maybe getting additional charges, probably losing a bunch of good time, etc, etc, etc.

He can squeal like a pig and expose exactly how he got the phone, what he's been doing with it, how much he charged other inmates to use it, gang and other intelligence he overheard from other inmates while they were making calls, and other things that will probably get him killed and the source of the phone arrested and charged with bringing it in.

Or, he can blame you. When your LO is confronted about it, who is he going to back up - you, or the inmate who,s blaming you, the inmate he has to live with and who has connections that could include some very unsavory types?

It doesn't matter what you actually did do - it's what they can prove. Do not take the investigation lightly. Do not try to contravene the institution and try to talk with the inmate at this point. Your best bet is to sit tight. Once your LO is transferred to a prison where you have not worked, you can probably start communicating with him again without risk. If you play ball and follow the rules, you may even be able to visit. It's at that point that the investigation may be over. It may not. If they think you are associated with or have committed a crime, whether you have or not, they can investigate through the limit of time designated by statute. For some crimes, like murder, there is no statute of limitations, and they can come knocking on your door decades from now and arrest you for a murder that they have somehow tied to you and your time as a CO.

Now, please quit being so defensive about your relationship. The people here are trying to help you understand that your perspective is being limited by your need to defend your relationship. If you step back, look at what is in fact going on and how that threads in with other institutional problems created by co/staff cavorting with inmates, you will have an appreciation for the trouble you are in, and how long and difficult it may be for you to get to the point you can communicate with your inmate without it coming back to bite you in the ass.
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Old 02-05-2019, 05:01 PM
MiCorazon MiCorazon is offline
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Originally Posted by Zza2112 View Post
Also how will
I know when the investigation is closed
Did you ever get an answer to this question?
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Old 02-06-2019, 03:05 AM
Raf's Girl Raf's Girl is offline
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You don't choose who you fall in love with but you can choose what to do with those feelings,you made the wrong choice period there is no sugar coating in that. You are moaning about us being spiteful well perhaps because of ladies like you, guards staff in general that can't leave their libido at home, rules in the visiting room are harsher than need be..............
You endangered your CO workers, just for the gratification of your desires.............
I hope DOC's will stop former employee's from ever seeing their incarcerated loved ones ever. I have zero compassion for people that willingly make things harder for all of us.
I have seen what this kind of flirtatious behavior can do to an inmate.In the worst case it is sexual harassment. You misused your position as a guard......
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Old 02-06-2019, 10:43 AM
Bikerguy Bikerguy is offline
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I believe the OP flew the coop and left when she did not like the answers given.

As a CO I will say this. We do not take kindly to one of ours. "Falling in love" with an inmate. We are required to maintain that professional relationship with the inmates. She put her guard down and allowed that professional relationship to stop and a personal one to develop. It is 100% her fault for even entertaining it and not stopping it before it started.

Was she targeted to bring in contraband or did they just so happen to grow up in the same neighborhood and connected that way? Who knows. As a CO I do not judge anyone who is married or in a relationship with an inmate. There are millions in the system and each has their own individual story, who am I to judge? I don't know the story. But a CO? developing a relationship? That goes against the oath we took as Law Enforcement.

Anyway I am done with my rant
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Old 02-06-2019, 11:23 AM
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Patrickj Patrickj is offline

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Bottom line here is any staff that gets involved with inmates while employed for the department. is a threat to the safety and security of the institution This is pounded in your head before employment and during any further in service training you may do.
If you are dumb enough to risk your job and being black balled from ever working for the state again go for it. Getting involved with an inmate then seeking pity from the public of fellow workers isn't going to happen. Before you start to say how unsupportive I sound. Let me give you a little in put on myself. I am a former inmate (done over 11 years) then return to work for the state in juvenile in corrections. Yes I have been on both sides I know the games and I have seen them played. The results are always the same no one wins neither the staff member or the inmate This old line was told to me many years ago "You don't screw where you eat"(this a cleaner version them how it was told to me)
Be a friend to everyone,never know when you may need their help
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Old 02-06-2019, 02:23 PM
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maytayah maytayah is offline
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The OP has not been back on the site since May 2018. I am guessing they did not likethe answers they recieved.
Not much sympathy for someone who has abused their position of authority and then claims they did nothing wrong.
Oh well when there is a line to cross some people will always cross it, to hell with the consequences.
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.
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Old 05-01-2019, 01:37 AM
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evelyncaves evelyncaves is offline
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My friend was staff CDCR and investigation closed after 1 year.
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Old 05-01-2019, 02:45 AM
Itshardtowait Itshardtowait is offline
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Maybe she got arrested for her crime? Maybe that’s why she never came back on here to post.

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