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  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 06:46 PM
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Default Spousal Rights

I want to know what my rights are as an inmate's spouse. Do I have to live under the same restrictions as he when he gets home? Should I get an attorney to protect my rights as an individual or is that a waste of time? Has anyone tried to protect themselves like this before?:co nfused:
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Old 01-26-2013, 06:56 PM
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You'll probably get more answers to these questions in the "Probation and Parole" forum. I'll move your thread there for you.
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Old 01-26-2013, 06:56 PM
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Hon, parole is prison without the walls . . . You don't have to do his time inside, and you don't actually have to do it outside, either. If you have guns and don't want to get rid of them, then find him another place to live until he's off paper. If you need to keep alcohol around - same answer. His living space will be searchable by the PO at any time, unannounced. If you can't handle the possibility, then same answer.

Those are generally the biggies. An attorney can do absolutely nothing for you, because you're not under the control of Corrections and they can't force Corrections to violate their own directives. It is purely your choice to allow him to live with you or not and to participate in the conditions his parole officer will place on him if you want him there.
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Old 01-26-2013, 07:00 PM
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Basically, you have the right to abide by his parole restrictions or he goes back to jail, if you want him living with you. Parole really doesn't care what you feel your rights are, they want him to succeed and if they think you are hindering that-they can say that he can't live with you at all. You have the wrong attitiude going into this-you need to do everything in your power to comply. If you don't want restrictions, then he will have to live elsewhere. parole is not going to entertain your lawyer as you have nothing to do with his partole restrictions and they will not bend anyting because you don't like it. Being in NY too-they will be more than happy to put him back in jail. Parole-you have no rights-because it's not about you. If he is under a restriction ie no computers in the house-you can't have one. There is no negotiation until he has been out and they see he can abide by the rules they set up for him and then they may be more lenient. If you are in NYC, so far we have found that as time goes on, it's not more lenient. When you allow someone on parole in your house, it's THEIR rules. You aren't going to run them and a lawyer and parole is liable to piss them off badly and create more stress for you then you can imagine. You have to get along. It's the key to getting off parole. When he's off parole, then talk about your rights.
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Old 01-26-2013, 08:27 PM
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The comments so far are dead on - you have the right to deal with it if you choose to have someone on parole in your home.

Someone on parole has restrictions that they need to be aware of and abide by. So really, the parolee is the one that is asking you to do without so that he can be there. No one else. And since it's your choice as to whether or not you will "clean up the place", as it were, so that he is within guidelines, the whole thing boils down to just the two of you. Not the prison system.

But I'm curious. What restrictions are you concerned about? What rights do you think are threatened? And by whom?
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Old 01-26-2013, 10:19 PM
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And these are things I keep telling my husband, but he insists I find a lawyer to be there for him when he's signing whatever it is they ask him to sign so that he "doesn't sign anything or agree to anything he doesn't have to" -and- to protect me from restrictions. I've already told him what was said in my previous request, but he wanted to "hear from an attorney" whether or not having an attorney for him and for me is worth it. I have a computer, which I know will likely have to be monitored. I don't know if they will just allow me to password protect it, which it already is. I fully intend to make arrangements to have this system out of the home before he gets back. The other concerns are my cell phone, since it's an iphone, account information like social networking sites, bank accounts, etc., and whether or not my current employer ever offers me at home access to work, can I work from home. Work would provide me with a laptop, but if the PO wishes to tamper with it and install monitoring software, I would lose my job for sure, so I couldn't consent. As far as the accounts, if everything is primarily in my name, do I have to hand over passwords and usernames?

I personally, am more than happy to go belly up and do their bidding however they see fit. I've been fighting this all on my own for so long and I am just so tired. He, on the other hand, has this "stick it to the man" mentality that's just going to create more problems and grief. I tend not to be so direct when he calls since our time is so precious and I don't want to upset him or anger him, but I am very much at my wits end with this battle.
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Old 01-26-2013, 11:12 PM
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send him this page as a printout. He can mull it over in a letter and it can marinate between phone calls.
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Old 01-27-2013, 09:16 AM
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I agree that he needs to change his thinking, or he will be in for a much harder time on his parole than he needs to be. If he wants to buck his PO, I guarantee that the PO will win the battle every time, and will then think of ten more ways to make his life even more miserable.
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Old 01-27-2013, 10:25 AM
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The attorney at the perole office will go over like a lead balloon. Can he read? He needs to realize his situation and that parole holds all the cards that an attorney can do nothing about. They will explain to him everything he can and can not do -it is not negotiable-by an attorney, or anyone. That will be the first step in pissing the Po off and he will come down on him in some way, as he's starting off pardon me, as being a jackass. parole will tell him exactly what he can and can not have in the house and what you can and can not have in the house. It's not going to change and an attorney is not going to intimidate a PO, which is sometimes why people bring their attorney along to places-it will backfire, especially in NY.
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Old 01-27-2013, 11:05 AM
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You're both putting the horse before the cart, and that won't take you very far.

Just breathe. And be patient. Wait until you know for sure what his restrictions are before freaking out. My Mr paroled as a SO and I was able to keep my computer. It wasn't monitored and I did not have to turn over any passwords or account info, which btw, I've never heard of anyone but the parolee having to turn over passwords etc.

As has been said, you do have the right to not let him parole there; other than that, his restrictions will affect what you can/can't have in the house. That's just the nature of parole.
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:14 PM
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It sounds like you have the right frame of mind, and maybe he's just trying to look out for you and not cause you issues, but he needs to realize that he has only one option regarding parloe, and that's whether or not to take it, or do the full time.

If he thinks anyone is the least bit interested in hearing him flap his wings about how paraole better not affect you, this, that, and all the rest, he's in for a very, very tene relationship with the PO.

He needs to learn to agree, and follow through, and that's about it.

Best of luck.
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Old 01-28-2013, 06:16 PM
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Sometimes people need to be reminded that there is such thing as rocking the boat. Your husband needs to realize that there is something to staying on your PO's good side.

If he goes through you to make his time on paper harder than need be, I'm either going to violate him or I'm going to remove him from your residence and put him in one that prohibits items that you are welcom e to havve and he isn't. No matter what he does or says through the guise of using your rights being violated will give him the leeway to enjoy the benefits that you have and he doesn't right now. As a result, the easiest thing for the PO to do is to remove him from your house(sinceyour rights are so important to him,) and place him in a restrictive environment that allows you to remain free of inconvenience. Truth be told, I believe that your husband probably would prefer to be with you.

Last edited by 26thncaliswag; 01-28-2013 at 06:23 PM..
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:07 PM
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Obviously the discussions surround what appears to be the State in which the release is due to occur. However, and in light of the fact that this has not yet moved to a State-specific forum, one must also be careful about making statements as a universal claim...impact of parole restrictions upon others in the household are always jurisdictional dependent.

As an example, in Texas, alcohol and firearms are permitted in the household but the releasee does not get to touch them. Same thing with sex offenders coming out to a house with computers. The other occupants of the house are not always bound by some of the same limitations as affect the releasee through the duration of the term of supervision...
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Old 01-28-2013, 08:46 PM
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In New York, those are the normal, basic restrictions for housing parolees. . .no alcohol, no firearms, curfew, etc. Certainly others may be added, as the PO sees fit.
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Old 01-29-2013, 12:42 AM
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I have never heard of restrictions on cell phones/computers. However, have you considered setting up a computer at a relative or a friends home so you could maintain your own employment? As everyone on here has said, you really are under restrictions..at least if you want your man to successfully complete parole. my experience, and there have been several, is that most parole agents are pretty nice to us ladies, unless we give them reason not to be. Talk with the agent yourself about any concerns. As far as he is concerned, he has to sign his parole conditions, it is a privilidge not a right, that he is out.
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:46 AM
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Restrictions are not only system-specific either, but the restrictions they actually impose usually are. Many are case-specific. Example, when I was on federal probation, I was allowed to drink alcohol. If my charges had anything to do with drugs/alcohol, I would not have been. Since my crime was deemed to involve a computer, I was initially barred from using any computer,or internet accessable device either. That was eventually relaxed to permit unlimited, but monitored, use later. Since I was required to pass polygraph tests about all of my restrictions, there were no computer restrictions on my family, even when I could not use them at all.
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