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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

View Poll Results: Was ur babys daddy locked up when his baby was born?
yes 385 80.88%
no 53 11.13%
shortly after the birth 38 7.98%
Voters: 476. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 03-05-2008, 02:27 PM
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I had our daughter a day after he turned himself in...i was devistated! I had alot of family support so that was a good thing, and the only thing that made me feel better.
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  #27  
Old 03-05-2008, 02:29 PM
Mia23 Mia23 is offline
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My sons Daddy was locked up wen i was 4 months pregnant was so hard goin through the pregnancy on my own and sad that i couldnt share it with him. baby came 5weeks early so had to stay in Neonatal for 2 weeks was hard but we were lucky in that he was allowd to come to the hospital once for an hour wen bubs was 5 days old. Is my first baby and has been so scary and lonely going through without him lucky i have great family support, but still hurts wen u see other dads with their kids or families together but im strong for my son and havin him makes me happier. My son is 1 now and will be 8 or 9 by the time his daddy gets out and it hurts both me n him that our son is missing out on all this time with his dad he gets visits once a week for two hours were he can cuddle him so im grateful for that but he is to be transferred next year futher away so dont know how often i'll get there.
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  #28  
Old 03-13-2008, 09:57 PM
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yes i was 5 and half months pregnant. and he's been locked up ever since and our lil boy is 4 and half months now. it is and was terriable not to have him there with me or see our see be born or be here to help me with him
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  #29  
Old 03-13-2008, 11:26 PM
Joey'sBooBear Joey'sBooBear is offline
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My bf got locked up when I was 16 wks pregnant. I ended up delivering our baby girl 16 weeks early at 24 weeks pregnant. I waited one month to hold her, then I was unable to hold her for another month because she was too unstable. She was in the NICU for almost 5 months. Her daddy is still in county, and still has yet to hold her. But, i'm just thankful she's alive and thriving. I take her to see him weekly.
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  #30  
Old 03-16-2008, 11:13 PM
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Good for you JoeysBooBear! It means alot to them even if its through glass...I feel all of you women! Know that God is in control and Joy comes in the morning. As hard as it is to raise the kids its even harder not to...feel me? Thank you all for responding to the post I love the energy and I am so glad that i'm not alone! Stay strong! God bless you and your families always!
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  #31  
Old 03-16-2008, 11:48 PM
missinghim100 missinghim100 is offline
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I was 6 months pregnant when my baby daddy left. IT WAS SO AWFUL! He is 9 months now. He has only seen him through visits...(Contact thank God) and he loves him to death! At first I was upset that my son wouldn't know his daddy but now I'm just waiting because I know things will get better.
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  #32  
Old 03-17-2008, 09:55 AM
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I was 5 months prego when my guy got locked up. our son will be 21 months when his daddy comes home
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  #33  
Old 03-18-2008, 05:26 PM
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Im pregnant right now... and am due in two weeks. Since little man is footling breeched, Im having a c-section. Im really scared cause no one is going to be in the room with me... Im considering getting a doula.
He keeps telling me that he understands and knows what Im going through, cause he's been through it before with the mother of his two little girls...but honestly Im not really sure if he gets it. Instead of making me feel better when he says it, it makes me feel worst knowing that he was there for her, and not here for me.... and Im supposed to be wifey....

I know he's hurting by not being here, but sometimes I just dont know...
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  #34  
Old 05-17-2010, 10:46 PM
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A C Section is a surgical procedure so even if he was out he could not be inside the OR/Delivery room with you. Husbands are only allowed in with normal deliveries.

But get a friend to video tape you and the baby when you have it in the room for the first time.... And get a few pics to send him.
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  #35  
Old 05-18-2010, 12:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhilB View Post
A C Section is a surgical procedure so even if he was out he could not be inside the OR/Delivery room with you. Husbands are only allowed in with normal deliveries.

But get a friend to video tape you and the baby when you have it in the room for the first time.... And get a few pics to send him.
Maybe some places are like that but most places I know of allow 1 person to be in the room for a c-section. That was the case for my cousin when she had her twins (2001), I was supposed to be in there but her mother magically decided last minute she wanted to give a damn so I was out.
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  #36  
Old 05-19-2010, 04:43 AM
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Most C- Sections are done with an epidural nowdays, unless they suspect complications. So yeah, they do allow the person to have one person with them, they normally stand behind the screen so they cant see the actual operation, but are still in the same room.
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  #37  
Old 05-19-2010, 09:05 AM
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My fiance will be locked up while our son is born. It devistates me but its all for our son
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  #38  
Old 05-20-2010, 12:25 AM
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My comment was based on a WA hospital when my granddaughter was born by C-section. The father was not allowed in the OR/delivery room, even though he was to be in the delivery room when it was expected to be a normal delivery.

So this policy would be subject to the policies of the hospital involved.

Her mother an RN was not even allowed in.
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  #39  
Old 06-05-2010, 10:25 PM
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I have lots of respect for you ladies who have to give birth without your love ones. Its tough to do it with them there and even worse when they are away my best wishes to all you ladies
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  #40  
Old 08-10-2010, 11:26 AM
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I got pregnant at a family visit almost 2 years into his sentence...
So, I went through the pregnancy alone. He was in the SHU for the entire thing too so he couldn't feel her kick or feel my belly or anything.
He was finally able to hold her when she was a little over a year old.
She is 2 years old now, and Daddy will finally be home this Saturday.
It hasn't been an easy ride, but we finally made it through the 4 years.
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  #41  
Old 08-10-2010, 12:04 PM
Lizatwin1 Lizatwin1 is offline
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Unhappy wanting a child

the man I love & wish to marry doesn't want to have any children. He feels its unfair for me to raise this child alone as well as explain his circumstances. He is a lifer with no chance of parole. I knew this man when we were kids and I believe we were destined to be together. I just don't know how to make him understand that we can do this. I have a good living & don't depend on any public assistance. He has a 26 yr old as do I. We are both 43. I don't want to walk away from this man. But this is important to discuss before we get married. would like to hear some feedback.
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  #42  
Old 08-11-2010, 12:33 AM
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My husband got locked up when i was a month pregnant and got released for a month before catching anothe case (when i was 6months preg) and this other case made him miss the birth and the first 14 monts of our son's life.

The cute thing was 5 minutes after i gave birth to my son, his father called because he thought something was happeneng and felt like he had to call me. So he was on the phone while I gave our son his first bottle and I put the phone to my babys ear. It was so sweet but I wish my husband could have been there. now my son is almost 2 (in a few weeks) and his dad won't be around for another 30 months. Soo his father will miss/has missed all the firsts
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  #43  
Old 08-11-2010, 04:20 AM
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My husband and i found out we were pregnant before he got locked up and this is our first child together. It is by no means easy. It's hard to go through pregnancy alone. Especially because he may not be out for the birth of our son. Everything happens for a reason. God has a plan.
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  #44  
Old 08-19-2010, 11:45 AM
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My love is in prison for the leaste 31 years we will be married in April I have a 5 year old little girl Ive raised on my own and Yes I plan on having another baby with him. Thank you for starting this thread its real helpful to know there are other like me.
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  #45  
Old 08-19-2010, 05:52 PM
CHATA CHATA is offline
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I got pregnant before my hubby caught this case he's serving now. I'm now 5 months soon to be 6 in two more weeks this is our first baby together due on Christmas day 2010 and he still has a year and some change to pull before he comes home and we paln on having more kids once he gets out but no hurry, i'm really scared right now about giving birth with out him there,but we must do what we have to do. God doesn't come when we want him too but he's always on time I believe.
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  #46  
Old 08-19-2010, 06:37 PM
brandonwife brandonwife is offline
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Im nw 5months pregnant and my babyfather is in prison im due to have my baby in dec 2010 and my childs father still have not been sentence yet!
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  #47  
Old 08-30-2010, 02:18 PM
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I was 4 months prego when my honey got locked up it was sad for both of us thank the lord that every thing went alright with the c section and he got to call when I was in the hospital he was so happy. 16 more years to go. Still here.
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  #48  
Old 08-30-2010, 06:52 PM
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I just had my son 2 weeks ago...my fiance is currently at NKSPim not sure when his release date...I've mailed him letter that our son was born. My question is when is the best time to take our son up there to meet his dad. I have my family members telling me not to take him at all. I'm so confused I don't know what to do please HELP!!!!
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  #49  
Old 08-30-2010, 08:14 PM
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My husband was locked up 10 days after we found out i was 3 1/2 wks pregnant. they have a very close relationship even though he has been locked up from the before she was born and now is seven.
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  #50  
Old 09-02-2010, 05:29 PM
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im 5 months due 1-11-11 && my husbands gna be lock up from 6 months to a yr. idk how im going to do it without him. He was always the 'mr mom' lol we have a 16 month old son and now expecting a little girl. Hes been waiting to have a baby since he was 18 and never could with anyone else [[my son isnt his we started dating when he was 4 months old but to him thats dad he doesnt know anyone else]] and always wanted a girl now he finnally has it n is gna miss his daughters birth.
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