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  #1  
Old 10-26-2018, 07:35 AM
Jellis7037 Jellis7037 is offline
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Default Husband revoked for violating felony DV no-contact order with me.

My husband is being revoked today and will be sent to complete his time in prison, we expect 5 years. My issue is while he is being revoked for violating his original charge was felony domestic abuse myself being the victim. It has been 3 years since he received the original charge and the violations are due to contact between us-as the judge refuses to dismiss a no contact, imposed by him and not myself in anyway- my question is everything that I have read indicates that I will be denied visitation being that I am the victim. We are legally married and have 2 small children, what if any are my options? I am trying to prepare, I know I am going to face this battle as I was denied visitation while he was in treatment, appealed and was still denied. I can not go 5 years without seeing him, we are prepared for the time but to deny us visitation is cruel and I would think against my rights, do I hire an attorney? Which kind do I contact? Has anyone else delt with this issue? Will it do any good or will I waste money we do not have without being successful?
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Old 10-26-2018, 08:07 AM
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Probably no options. You and he both defied a court order, and everyone looks deeply askance at that sort of behavior. Your 'rights' have no bearing on a court order. Your marriage has no bearing either, since he blew that out of the water by hurting you badly enough to be convicted of a felony. Children? As far as the state (and many professionals) are concerned, your children are much better off without being exposed to the violence and the aura of violence. There are huge repercussions to that exposure - too early sexual activity, dropping out of school, becoming perpetrators or victims of the next generation of abuse.
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Old 10-26-2018, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Jellis7037 View Post
My husband is being revoked today and will be sent to complete his time in prison, we expect 5 years. My issue is while he is being revoked for violating his original charge was felony domestic abuse myself being the victim. It has been 3 years since he received the original charge and the violations are due to contact between us-as the judge refuses to dismiss a no contact, imposed by him and not myself in anyway- my question is everything that I have read indicates that I will be denied visitation being that I am the victim. We are legally married and have 2 small children, what if any are my options? I am trying to prepare, I know I am going to face this battle as I was denied visitation while he was in treatment, appealed and was still denied. I can not go 5 years without seeing him, we are prepared for the time but to deny us visitation is cruel and I would think against my rights, do I hire an attorney? Which kind do I contact? Has anyone else delt with this issue? Will it do any good or will I waste money we do not have without being successful?
Actually you don't have any options since you both disobeyed the judge and did what you wanted you both have to suffer the consequences. Being denied visits is the way its going to be while he is gone. Its both of your faults now you pay the price. Should have listened girl
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Old 10-26-2018, 08:26 AM
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Probably no options. You and he both defied a court order, and everyone looks deeply askance at that sort of behavior. Your 'rights' have no bearing on a court order. Your marriage has no bearing either, since he blew that out of the water by hurting you badly enough to be convicted of a felony. Children? As far as the state (and many professionals) your children are much better off without being exposed to the violence and the aura of violence. There are huge repercussions to that exposure - too early sexual activity, dropping out of school, becoming perpetrators or victims of the next generation of abuse.
Well said hon now she has to pay the consequences for her actions.
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Old 10-26-2018, 09:26 AM
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Hello I was in a similar situation as you are now with my child's father with the order of protection but the judge vacaded it in court did you ask the judge to vacate the order before he got sentenced you being the victim of the crime they usually ask you if you want to make a statement and in the statement you can ask the judge to vacate the lawyer will definitely help you I would definitely call around and see how much they charge and how do you give go ahead getting the order lifted did you ask the Da to lift the order
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Old 10-26-2018, 09:50 AM
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Are the children included in the no contact order? If not, another family member may be able to take them to visit him. As for you, you will be blocked for at least as long as the order is in effect, and possibly longer if the prison decides to not allow a DV victim to visit their abuser.
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Old 10-26-2018, 11:08 PM
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It sounds likely that you won’t be able to visit or communicate with your husband for the next five years .. try to look at this separation as a gift to you, or a blessing in disguise. You and your kids will have an opportunity to live life free of abuse, and you might actually come to prefer peace and quiet to living in fear. The five years will give you a chance to examine yourself and figure out why you want to hold on to a man who has hurt you badly; this would be a great time to get some DV counseling, for you and maybe for your kids also.
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Old 10-27-2018, 05:03 AM
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The prison are not going to break the no contact order and they are not going to allow you as a victim to visit your abuser even if the contact order is lifted. I am not sure what you believe your rights are , but it is your right to live safe and unharmed and free from violence and the threat of violence.
The no contact order is to protect you. You might not like it but its for your benefit, its to protect you as many DV victims do not have the strength or will to protect themselves.

You have no choice but obey the court order or risk getting into more trouble. As others have said use this time affectively. Get some DV counselling and support. Maybe you will see being in a relationship defined by DV is not a relationship worth pursuing.Toxic love is not better than no love at all.

I know you will argue against all this but some where deep down you know we are right. Get some DV counselling if you are hell bent on seeing your abuser you may eventually be able to do so as part of your recovery with the support of your therapist.If not it will help you build your strength and confidence to see you are worth more than a man who hurts you enough to get a felony. You deserve to be safe valued and protected.
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Old 10-27-2018, 01:17 PM
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I live in nys and I was allowed to visit my child's father and I was the victim of his crime and when he came home was allowed to communicate he was in Franklin
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:08 PM
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Amber, she has already appealed and been turned down, and she doesn't live in New York.
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Old 10-28-2018, 06:59 AM
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Oh okay wasn't sure she already appealed it yea every state is different
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Old 12-29-2018, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellis7037 View Post
My husband is being revoked today and will be sent to complete his time in prison, we expect 5 years. My issue is while he is being revoked for violating his original charge was felony domestic abuse myself being the victim. It has been 3 years since he received the original charge and the violations are due to contact between us-as the judge refuses to dismiss a no contact, imposed by him and not myself in anyway- my question is everything that I have read indicates that I will be denied visitation being that I am the victim. We are legally married and have 2 small children, what if any are my options? I am trying to prepare, I know I am going to face this battle as I was denied visitation while he was in treatment, appealed and was still denied. I can not go 5 years without seeing him, we are prepared for the time but to deny us visitation is cruel and I would think against my rights, do I hire an attorney? Which kind do I contact? Has anyone else delt with this issue? Will it do any good or will I waste money we do not have without being successful?
Would you happen to know if the court order is listed on the court records, or is it just automatic?
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