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Coming Home Dedicated to discussions about our loved ones that are coming home soon. Discussions here should not fit any other category.

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  #1  
Old 08-04-2018, 07:17 PM
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Default Preparing for his homecoming. Is it normal to be Nervous???

I've been cleaning for 8 hours so far today. I'm behind schedule but I will get everything done. I've been cleaning things I never planned on doing lol. Is this normal??? I just want everything to be back to the way it was before he left. He did all the house cleaning inside and out and he's a perfectionist he likes everything clean clean. He's called four times today and he asked what I was doing and I kept saying cleaning. He said stop it and that he would do it when he got home but if he seen this house he would die lmao. I'm just going to get it as clean as possible and I'm sure it will be good enough.
I've also almost got his welcome home pampering basket done. New razor and shaving cream, ear candles, hot oil treatment, hair dye, nail clipper set, teeth whitener kit, electric tooth brush, hair clipper set and some massage oils and a new massage table. It's something we've always wanted to buy but never did. He loves getting pampered so he will love it and I'm excited I haven't started on his welcome home basket yet because that will have snacks etc in it and I want them to be as fresh as possible. I'm so nervous and just want him to be able to come home and relax. So much to do and not enough time to do it. Im glad ill be goinf back to working two jobs in September that will free up my nights. Ugh
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Old 08-04-2018, 07:53 PM
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Yes it's normal!! I wouldn't stress out so much because no matter what its going to be a palace compared to where he's been!!!
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Old 08-04-2018, 08:31 PM
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Oh Honey! The first time My Mr made parole, I cleaned everything in sight. Under & behind all kitchen appliances, closets, drawers, cabinets....I was a nervous wreck, a bundle of energy.

You may want to read the sticky at the top of this forum on Short Timers = nerves, jitters, spats....you both have it. Just Breathe
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Old 08-04-2018, 09:34 PM
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Oh Honey! The first time My Mr made parole, I cleaned everything in sight. Under & behind all kitchen appliances, closets, drawers, cabinets....I was a nervous wreck, a bundle of energy.

You may want to read the sticky at the top of this forum on Short Timers = nerves, jitters, spats....you both have it. Just Breathe
Thank you I will :-)
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Old 08-04-2018, 10:48 PM
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For all you're doing and have done for him, you should make sure you treat yourself to something special too, like your own massage!
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:37 PM
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For all you're doing and have done for him, you should make sure you treat yourself to something special too, like your own massage!
We give each other massages on a regular normally a few times a week. The table is for the both of us
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Old 08-05-2018, 12:54 AM
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You are welcome to come over anytime to get rid of your anxiety... lots of cleaning to do in my flat... ;-)
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:16 AM
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I have to say though you are going to extremes about buying him stuff, none of that matters, it's nice but not neccessary even if he had nothing which is not the case. I have a friend who's son who just came home and I thought she was doing I too much. To the point that was pretty sure he was going to fail to comply with his parole which he did. Back in prison after 2 1/2 months. Not to say your husband is the same but rewarding a person who gets parole isn't really a positive thing. I know you mean well but sometimes this can backfire. I know you think your husband is different then everyone else but he's not in the basic way that he broke the law and did his time. I know you want him to do well so try to let him do what he needs to do. Yeah I know its hard but he won't ever make it if your doing everything except his time. Good luck.
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Old 08-05-2018, 04:04 AM
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Preparing for his homecoming. Is it normal to be Nervous???

It is absolutely normal

Just remember to take a moment to take care of yourself too and rest so that you won't be exhausted when he comes home
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Old 08-05-2018, 04:26 AM
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Good grief! Relax a little and let him finish when gets home, I think you working 5 or 7 jobs is enough. He knows you love him. A spider web or dust bunny won't hurt him.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:12 AM
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I have to say though you are going to extremes about buying him stuff, none of that matters, it's nice but not neccessary even if he had nothing which is not the case. I have a friend who's son who just came home and I thought she was doing I too much. To the point that was pretty sure he was going to fail to comply with his parole which he did. Back in prison after 2 1/2 months. Not to say your husband is the same but rewarding a person who gets parole isn't really a positive thing. I know you mean well but sometimes this can backfire. I know you think your husband is different then everyone else but he's not in the basic way that he broke the law and did his time. I know you want him to do well so try to let him do what he needs to do. Yeah I know its hard but he won't ever make it if your doing everything except his time. Good luck.
Your totally wrong!!!! First of all I always buy him stuff whether he's home or away im preparing for him to be home. It's not rewarding him for anything it's knowing what he will need and getting it for him lmao. And yes I'm going to pamper My man he's just been through Hell and back and I want him to feel amazing when he comes home. I'm not like many woman and I'm ok with that...that what he loves about me. I aim to please My man. My husband isnt going to fail at parole hes an adult not a younger man he knows what needs to be done and he will do it. I by no means think he's any different from any other person in the criminal system. He did his time now he's coming home. Leaving the house a mess for him to clean when he comes home is Ludacris and I'm not letting that happen that's for sure. Everyone has ways to do things and this is me....you don't have to agree and I don't care if you do Thanks for your input though.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:16 AM
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Good grief! Relax a little and let him finish when gets home, I think you working 5 or 7 jobs is enough. He knows you love him. A spider web or dust bunny won't hurt him.
I dont work 5-7 jobs good grief that would be exausting. I work alot to stay busy. Why have idle time when I don't need it. Why not make money instead of sitting around doing nothing?? Exactly!!! If I was that tired I wouldn't but like I said here soon the season is over and I won't have the extra jobs. It is what it is. I'm not talking about dust bunnies lol I'm cleaning out three years of piles of mail, cleaning under the stairs etc things I let just let pile up because why not who is there to complain about it.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:25 AM
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Hey. Gotta do something with that nervous energy...may as well clean Or...you could crank up the music and DANCE!

I do recommend a "spa" day (or two), even if its do-it-yourself = long hot bubble bath with your choice of beverage & music; pedicure, manicure; haircut; some new make-up, new outfit and lunch / dinner out somewhere nice with family / friends
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:55 AM
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Hey. Gotta do something with that nervous energy...may as well clean Or...you could crank up the music and DANCE!

I do recommend a "spa" day (or two), even if its do-it-yourself = long hot bubble bath with your choice of beverage & music; pedicure, manicure; haircut; some new make-up, new outfit and lunch / dinner out somewhere nice with family / friends
That's on the list for the week before he comes home. Six of us girls are going away for the day. It's my friends Bachelorette getaway a few towns over. I will enjoy myself even if it's for a day.
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:31 AM
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I've been cleaning for 8 hours so far today. I'm behind schedule but I will get everything done. I've been cleaning things I never planned on doing lol. Is this normal??? I just want everything to be back to the way it was before he left. He did all the house cleaning inside and out and he's a perfectionist he likes everything clean clean. He's called four times today and he asked what I was doing and I kept saying cleaning. He said stop it and that he would do it when he got home but if he seen this house he would die lmao. I'm just going to get it as clean as possible and I'm sure it will be good enough.
I've also almost got his welcome home pampering basket done. New razor and shaving cream, ear candles, hot oil treatment, hair dye, nail clipper set, teeth whitener kit, electric tooth brush, hair clipper set and some massage oils and a new massage table. It's something we've always wanted to buy but never did. He loves getting pampered so he will love it and I'm excited I haven't started on his welcome home basket yet because that will have snacks etc in it and I want them to be as fresh as possible. I'm so nervous and just want him to be able to come home and relax. So much to do and not enough time to do it. Im glad ill be goinf back to working two jobs in September that will free up my nights. Ugh
I do the same and I have a few years left to go lol. I am always adding stuff to the list I am going to get done before he gets home. I was taking a shower the other day and all his stuff is still in the bathroom and I started making a list in my head of the thing's he is gonna need. I think I know when he gets home it's going to be an adjustment period for us both and if all the small stuff is done it's one less thing to worry about. I already have a first week he is home menu planned out!
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:40 AM
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**I think I know when he gets home it's going to be an adjustment period for us both**




Yes. Just try to relax. The cleaning can wait. Plus it will give him something to do once he's home.
Cause if you have nervous energy, pretty much can bet he will too.
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:51 AM
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Normal! It is like nesting when pregmamt, but you have so much nervous energy you need to get it out.

One thing though is to leave some stuff for him, so he can be a part of it. He seems like he wants to be. Tell him your list and ask him if there are any jobs he would rather you until he cones home to help with or do.

The cleaning part mine does care if I do, but painting, fixing floors, and all other home repair stuff he wants to do himself. I hear in his voice that it is important to him, so if it is detrimental and can wait, we will wait.

As to buying stuff, get the necessities and fun stuff. You probably have more than enough. I know for us he wants to go shopping together. He likes what he likes. He'll have a budget and male his own purchases to get started.

Everyone is different. Gifts and spending money makes mine feel uncomfortable. Almost less then a man. That is how his mind works, which can be frustrating at times. Lol we are both very independent in that way and used to taking care of ourselves and others. When someone takes are of us, in the past we always felt there was an alterior motive.

You know your husband. You know his strengths and weaknesses. Biggest focus is on how he can be successful in the world and how you guys can enjoy your life moving forward.

Breathe! Time is moving fast. It is awesome you guys have 2 months left. Following your countdown has been so much fun. You guys have been very positive and productive.

Trust yourself that you are doing the right thing. Also, you have done so much over the last 3 years you should pay yourself on the back and give yourself a break. If it you don't finish everything, it is Ok! He will be home soon enough to help you
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Old 08-05-2018, 02:01 PM
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I do the same and I have a few years left to go lol. I am always adding stuff to the list I am going to get done before he gets home. I was taking a shower the other day and all his stuff is still in the bathroom and I started making a list in my head of the thing's he is gonna need. I think I know when he gets home it's going to be an adjustment period for us both and if all the small stuff is done it's one less thing to worry about. I already have a first week he is home menu planned out!
So do I lol. He made me a list of things he wants so I already have it planned out. We discussed it and he's ready lol. Fresh fruit was number one I agree. Get the small stuff done because who's gonna have time for cleaning?? Lol
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Old 08-05-2018, 02:07 PM
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Normal! It is like nesting when pregmamt, but you have so much nervous energy you need to get it out.

One thing though is to leave some stuff for him, so he can be a part of it. He seems like he wants to be. Tell him your list and ask him if there are any jobs he would rather you until he cones home to help with or do.

The cleaning part mine does care if I do, but painting, fixing floors, and all other home repair stuff he wants to do himself. I hear in his voice that it is important to him, so if it is detrimental and can wait, we will wait.

As to buying stuff, get the necessities and fun stuff. You probably have more than enough. I know for us he wants to go shopping together. He likes what he likes. He'll have a budget and male his own purchases to get started.

Everyone is different. Gifts and spending money makes mine feel uncomfortable. Almost less then a man. That is how his mind works, which can be frustrating at times. Lol we are both very independent in that way and used to taking care of ourselves and others. When someone takes are of us, in the past we always felt there was an alterior motive.

You know your husband. You know his strengths and weaknesses. Biggest focus is on how he can be successful in the world and how you guys can enjoy your life moving forward.

Breathe! Time is moving fast. It is awesome you guys have 2 months left. Following your countdown has been so much fun. You guys have been very positive and productive.

Trust yourself that you are doing the right thing. Also, you have done so much over the last 3 years you should pay yourself on the back and give yourself a break. If it you don't finish everything, it is Ok! He will be home soon enough to help you
Awwwww thanks I appreciate that. I have done alot but he's definatly worth it. He's so good to me and our daughter. And I totally understand some people don't like to be taken care of or to have things bought for them he is not one of those people lol. He's like a big kid he loves gifts and he loves to be taken care of. But he's the strong type if you know what I mean. Lol. It will all come together soon. Staying positive helped me through this if not for that I would have fallen hard and that's not good. Hope your having a good day.
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Old 08-05-2018, 10:27 PM
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Awwwww thanks I appreciate that. I have done alot but he's definatly worth it. He's so good to me and our daughter. And I totally understand some people don't like to be taken care of or to have things bought for them he is not one of those people lol. He's like a big kid he loves gifts and he loves to be taken care of. But he's the strong type if you know what I mean. Lol. It will all come together soon. Staying positive helped me through this if not for that I would have fallen hard and that's not good. Hope your having a good day.
I troll and never reply: NYgirl; Be encouraged and take care of your man how you see fit. He has matured over these last three years, and there is nothing wrong with the two of you showing just how much you appreciate each other.
The ladies are right when they say, Don't forget to pamper and reward you for being a good woman.
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:23 AM
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I troll and never reply: NYgirl; Be encouraged and take care of your man how you see fit. He has matured over these last three years, and there is nothing wrong with the two of you showing just how much you appreciate each other.
The ladies are right when they say, Don't forget to pamper and reward you for being a good woman.
Your right He loves how I am and how good I take care of him He tells me all the time how lucky he is to have me in his life and wishes he would have met me sooner. Our love is beyond the norm for each other I just can't wait to get back to our lives and move on from all this prison stuff. Thanks for your comment.
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Old 08-14-2018, 07:15 PM
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Okay, I see nothing wrong with doing anything for your husband that will make him happy and comfortable when he is released. I’ll most likely end up doing pretty much the same thing, I want it to be as relaxing and stress free as possible when he comes home. I don’t feel so nervous now, but I’m sure as the date approaches I’ll be a hot mess HAHA!

I have to say that each and every case is different in its own way. Not every person in prison has done an unforgivable crime. Whatever a person has done to put them in prison does not always define who they are. Sometimes it’s a wrong place at the wrong time or trusting the wrong people or whatever the case may be. But I agree, they’ve done their time and when it’s time to come home, they’ve earned it.
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Old 08-14-2018, 09:33 PM
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Okay, I see nothing wrong with doing anything for your husband that will make him happy and comfortable when he is released. Iíll most likely end up doing pretty much the same thing, I want it to be as relaxing and stress free as possible when he comes home. I donít feel so nervous now, but Iím sure as the date approaches Iíll be a hot mess HAHA!

I have to say that each and every case is different in its own way. Not every person in prison has done an unforgivable crime. Whatever a person has done to put them in prison does not always define who they are. Sometimes itís a wrong place at the wrong time or trusting the wrong people or whatever the case may be. But I agree, theyíve done their time and when itís time to come home, theyíve earned it.
Oh absolutely you're going to be a hot mess LOL I know I am it's going so fast so it seems like I don't have time to do everything but I know I'll get it done it's going to be here before I know though. And you're right not everyone has done a horrible crime, I'm not rewarding my husband that's for sure :-)
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Old 08-15-2018, 01:58 PM
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You amaze me! Best of everything to you & your husband!!!!
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Old 08-15-2018, 03:08 PM
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You amaze me! Best of everything to you & your husband!!!!
Awwwww Spirits thank you that means alot. I'm doing what makes me happy. There is an end thanks god for that. I just can't wait. Hoping to learn how to post pics before he comes home so I can post some. Probably not of the two of us because he wouldn't really care for that too much but maybe just a the baskets on making or something hopefully I'll learn :-)
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