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Old 11-29-2006, 08:19 PM
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Default Not all MWI relationships are created equal...

Yanno much adieu has been made lately about MWI scammers and other various notions that while the ideas are not completely lost on me I find them to be just that ideas that breed, fester, serve to make people in even the most righteous of relationships question intentions...

STOP THE INSANITY!!!

Your relationship is what you make of it, whether by MWI or any other means. You get what you put in and if you happened to hook up with a bad seed then you might have done so had you met him in the free world.

I gotta tell ya cuz I like to keep it real even at the risk of exposing my less than perfect relationship. The point being AIN'T NUTTIN' PERFECT!!! But I gotta say it has NOTHING to do with the way we met (misdialed phone call, him to me from the county jail).

Sometimes Sebastian gets on my last nerve and I question or requestion his/mine/our intentions it's completely natural, however it doesn't happen because PTO member a b or c posed a question or is living a certain situation because guess what ???? I am me and you are you and they are they and while we can share intimate and/or general information about our relationships no two relationships, MWI or otherwise are the same.

Just because someone was scammed doesn't mean you will be. My mama (RIP Mama) was always quick to remind us not to go borrowing trouble. She often made sense well except for that "marry a nice man from our church" advice she spewed, my niece took it and was soundly robbed for all she was worth INCLUDING our family home by A NICE MAN FROM OUR CHURCH.

At the same time I feel the need to add that just because some are hangin' in there, havin' happy lives with our MWI mates doesn't mean you will, again because WE ARE ALL ON DIFFERENT PATHS, what you have to learn and live yet is different from what I have to learn and live yet and so on and so forth so yeah take the happy stuff with the proverbial grain of salt as well.

Bottom line ya gotta do you, you gotta see the signs, read between the lines and pursue or choose not to based on what works best in YOUR life, cause in the end that's what you get to deal with: YOUR life.

Here's hoping it's all good,
Patty
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  #2  
Old 11-29-2006, 08:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HotLatinaMILF4U

STOP THE INSANITY!!!

Patty

THANK YOU!
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Old 11-29-2006, 08:26 PM
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You're quite welcome, Anna!

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Old 11-29-2006, 08:33 PM
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I do have to agree with this .. yes i am married and have been before he went in but you know what any relationship regardless of where or how it was started is just that a relationship with 2 ppl who are controlling their lives and the situation that they are in. If something is to go wrong then that was meant to be .. Nothing is guaranteed, no matter who is involved, or if they are free or incarcerated ..
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Old 11-29-2006, 08:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HotLatinaMILF4U
She often made sense well except for that "marry a nice man from our church" advice she spewed, my niece took it and was soundly robbed for all she was worth INCLUDING our family home by A NICE MAN FROM OUR CHURCH.
No matter what neighborhood we come from I think we ALL can look back at a time where the person we least expected wasnt the person we thought they were. This is a perfect examply of how you cant judge a book by the cover. The outside may be in perfect shape and worth millions, but inside may tell a differant story. Just the same as the most worn out and used book may be the best you have ever read


Quote:
Originally Posted by HotLatinaMILF4U
Bottom line ya gotta do you, you gotta see the signs, read between the lines and pursue or choose not to based on what works best in YOUR life, cause in the end that's what you get to deal with: YOUR life.
Once again you have summed things up perfectly. The book I may enjoy may not be the same you enjoy and vice versa. The best part is nobody else has to enjoy the story except the one reading it. Or in many cases the ones writing it
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  #6  
Old 11-29-2006, 08:38 PM
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Patty, words of wisdom that we all need to live by. Where would I be without you?
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Old 11-29-2006, 08:44 PM
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Shucks Princess, I love you too!

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Old 11-29-2006, 09:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HotLatinaMILF4U
Yanno much adieu has been made lately about MWI scammers and other various notions that while the ideas are not completely lost on me I find them to be just that ideas that breed, fester, serve to make people in even the most righteous of relationships question intentions...

STOP THE INSANITY!!!

Your relationship is what you make of it, whether by MWI or any other means. You get what you put in and if you happened to hook up with a bad seed then you might have done so had you met him in the free world.

I gotta tell ya cuz I like to keep it real even at the risk of exposing my less than perfect relationship. The point being AIN'T NUTTIN' PERFECT!!! But I gotta say it has NOTHING to do with the way we met (misdialed phone call, him to me from the county jail).

Sometimes Sebastian gets on my last nerve and I question or requestion his/mine/our intentions it's completely natural, however it doesn't happen because PTO member a b or c posed a question or is living a certain situation because guess what ???? I am me and you are you and they are they and while we can share intimate and/or general information about our relationships no two relationships, MWI or otherwise are the same.

Just because someone was scammed doesn't mean you will be. My mama (RIP Mama) was always quick to remind us not to go borrowing trouble. She often made sense well except for that "marry a nice man from our church" advice she spewed, my niece took it and was soundly robbed for all she was worth INCLUDING our family home by A NICE MAN FROM OUR CHURCH.

At the same time I feel the need to add that just because some are hangin' in there, havin' happy lives with our MWI mates doesn't mean you will, again because WE ARE ALL ON DIFFERENT PATHS, what you have to learn and live yet is different from what I have to learn and live yet and so on and so forth so yeah take the happy stuff with the proverbial grain of salt as well.

Bottom line ya gotta do you, you gotta see the signs, read between the lines and pursue or choose not to based on what works best in YOUR life, cause in the end that's what you get to deal with: YOUR life.

Here's hoping it's all good,
Patty
Girl you on fire tonite!!!! I could not have said it better, I told derrick the other day that regardless of what we decide to do ( we are talking marriage ,maybe)it will be OUR DECISION!!!!!AND WE WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
love ya
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:18 PM
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amen and thank you!

hopefully the insanity WILL stop now...
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:18 PM
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tiptoes ~ you applied my theory that COMMUNICATION is key to any successful relationship! Yay! I hope everything progresses smoothly for ya and in tough times ya keep right on communicating...

All the best and then some,
Patty
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:20 PM
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mrschris ~ oh were it THAT easy but the truth is that only the strong will survive and I ain't just talkin' about MWI relationships, feel me? I KNOW U DO...

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Old 11-29-2006, 09:57 PM
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Thank you very much.
You just don't know how much I needed this tonight.
I was wondering the same thing...or along those lines...I wish I had time to think up the things that's been posted about the last couple of days. No sarcasm, I literally mean it.
And, this post has greatly helped, even though I know all too well not all are the same...
Have a good one...because no, it's not all a bed of roses or just about the sweet talk or romantic letters or sweet, passionate kisses...this is too real, sometimes.
Anjewel
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:06 PM
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Not MWI (crashing your forum )....but value the message just as much! Thanks Patty! I have to agree it is all about the two (or three.....gotta include Crow ) folks involved.

What a healthy reminder!!!
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:27 PM
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Anjeweleyes ~ Awww honey I know how sometimes something we stumble upon out of the blue can comfort us, let's hope we can comfort others...

optimistic ~ Youve got your ball
Youve got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Whos got their claws
In you my friend
Into your heart Ill beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you Im so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you

um well you reminded me of that song....

Crash anytime honey, and thanks for "getting" it!

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Old 11-29-2006, 10:28 PM
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Ok Patty Is this my intervention???
does this mean I stop posting?
Because I not going to stop airing my dirty laundry and uncovering the don's and dealing with the what if's,,,Otherwise you are asking me to leave PTO,,and I cant right now,,I need just one more hit!
<babi protecting her pto pipe>
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:35 PM
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LOL If I thought an intervention was what you needed then I'd be on your doorstep RIGHT NOW...

Just speaking from my heart cuz it's all I really know to do...

It's all good Babi,
Patty
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:43 PM
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LMAO @ PTO pipe!

lol...too funny!
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Old 11-30-2006, 10:19 AM
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Stop the insanity???? Yeah right! Maybe when we all go through menopause and don't get all crazy and emotional! Maybe when our men come home (IF they come home) and we can actually interact with them in the outside world.Maybe when all of us are completely healthy,and smart enough to see the red flags for ourselves.Maybe,maybe,maybe!!! As long as there are women getting involved with men behind bars who they've never been with in the "real world" the question is going to continue to be asked "how do I know if he's playing me?" Not everyone is perceptive. Not everyone is HIGHLY intelligent.Not everyone has high self esteem. The list goes on and on. We're all different,and we've all had different experience in life. I don't see anything wrong with discussing red flags,and asking for opinions if someone is suspecting something funky,and wants some second opinions before taking any action.As far as the negative stuff having an effect on people in "good" relationships that's on them. I (personally) know I'm in a healthy relationship and it wouldn't matter how many red flags were listed because I feel extremely confident that my man is for real,and what we have is real.Let's face it,...when it's good,...it's good,and nothing anyone else says or writes is gonna effect someone who is confident in their relationship. However,...not everyone is me,and not everyone has a man like mine,and not everyone has been doing this for 2 years,and not everyone has a boyfriend who communicates so well,and,and,and,.....once again the list goes on and on and on. Basically I guess it boils down to this,...for the ladies who are sick of the "how do I know if he's playing me" threads,....well,...just pass em' by if ya feel so confident in your relationship. There are thousands and thousands of threads on pto that I don't read,and many forums I don't even check out cause they don't apply to me or my life in any way shape or form.Ya feel me?
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Old 11-30-2006, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big mama 69
Stop the insanity???? Yeah right! Maybe when we all go through menopause and don't get all crazy and emotional! Maybe when our men come home (IF they come home) and we can actually interact with them in the outside world.Maybe when all of us are completely healthy,and smart enough to see the red flags for ourselves.Maybe,maybe,maybe!!! As long as there are women getting involved with men behind bars who they've never been with in the "real world" the question is going to continue to be asked "how do I know if he's playing me?" Not everyone is perceptive. Not everyone is HIGHLY intelligent.Not everyone has high self esteem. The list goes on and on. We're all different,and we've all had different experience in life. I don't see anything wrong with discussing red flags,and asking for opinions if someone is suspecting something funky,and wants some second opinions before taking any action.As far as the negative stuff having an effect on people in "good" relationships that's on them. I (personally) know I'm in a healthy relationship and it wouldn't matter how many red flags were listed because I feel extremely confident that my man is for real,and what we have is real.Let's face it,...when it's good,...it's good,and nothing anyone else says or writes is gonna effect someone who is confident in their relationship. However,...not everyone is me,and not everyone has a man like mine,and not everyone has been doing this for 2 years,and not everyone has a boyfriend who communicates so well,and,and,and,.....once again the list goes on and on and on. Basically I guess it boils down to this,...for the ladies who are sick of the "how do I know if he's playing me" threads,....well,...just pass em' by if ya feel so confident in your relationship. There are thousands and thousands of threads on pto that I don't read,and many forums I don't even check out cause they don't apply to me or my life in any way shape or form.Ya feel me?
YEAH!!! what she said!!! Seriously I agree with what you just said all the way. Some people want to hear truth, some people want to keep their rose colored glasses or beer goggles on. But as you said if you ARE actually confident in your relationship, then reading a thread pointing out things that might be red flags to SOME people, will NOT affect you and yours. If you are allowing it to affect you, then maybe just maybe, things aren't really as rosy when you take your glasses off as you'd like to believe.

There are plenty of times I reply to things that don't actually apply to me, but if I do it is to add something that I think someone might find useful, helpful or informative. But getting bent because you don't like what someone has to say is just juvenille, and I'm guessing most of us are adults, and as adults we should know that because I say something doesn't mean you have to believe it, nor does it mean you have to accept it. It just is what it is.
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  #20  
Old 11-30-2006, 10:43 AM
Sabana Sabana is offline
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You know, I just love you guys!! You make me dizzy sometimes, but I love you all!!!! How would I be getting through without you??
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  #21  
Old 11-30-2006, 11:09 AM
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there's nothing wrong with discussing red flags, self esteem, relationships, all that good stuff concerning the MWI. but lately there have been an abundance of threads created that just seem to attack the very core of our relationships. many may not notice it, but i do.

every other thread is, 'i'm asking in general but specifically the MWI..." and then the thread is not exactly the most positive thread.

of course not everyone has the same qualities or relationships that are on the same levels...but that's no reason to go totally insane, which seems to be what's happening lately around here.
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Old 11-30-2006, 11:24 AM
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I have a MWI relationship and I have to stress I wanted it to be a bed of roses and candlelight but then the reality hit me. My companion has been incarcerated for 17 years--his whole adult life. It would be unrealistic of me to expect him to come home and wine and dine me. He has no one so we will be together but not in a romantic sort or way. He needs to grow and learn about life and love at his speed, not mine.

He has sent up red flags at times, but I attribute them to being unsure of his emotions. It may be all good or it may fall apart. But he fills a need that I have right now and I for him. And I have dated some real bums on the outside so users are everywhere--including church.
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Old 11-30-2006, 05:17 PM
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That's why I'm a avid believer that you have to be careful as to who you share things with and who has your inner ear.
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:16 PM
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A bad or good relationship is what each indvidual makes of it. My first husband had his own business and went to church all the time. Good with kids, the perfect guy.
I lost everything I owned because of him and almost lost my son.
I had someone that was a lifer and he treated me like a queen.
No matter where they are, it can and will happen. Why not sit back and let it roll? Your relationship might be the greatest you eve had.
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rottn
Your relationship might be the greatest you eve had.
I like that!
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