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  #1  
Old 10-09-2007, 12:58 AM
xladyxliquidx xladyxliquidx is offline
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Default Were Both Herion Addicts

And We Both Got Busted Together. He's Still In, I Just Got Out A Month Ago. I'm Fighting Addiction Out Here On My Own. No Program, No Meeetings......nothing! Just Me Against The World. And Thank God I Haven't Shot Up, But I Think About It Everyday. My Doctor Gives Me Oxycontin, Same Crap, I Used To Shot That Up Too. But I Haven't, And As Long As I Got That, I Stay Off Dope. Problem Is, When I Run Out. It's A Kick All Over Again, And I Know How Too 'fix' It! He Rides My Ass In Every Letter About F**king Up. Cause I Know And He Knows, If I F**k Up, He Will Too. Am I Wrong For Feeling Like He Got The Easy Way Out. Cause I Got To Put Everything Back Together That We Lost In Our Addiction. Well He Kicks Back In Prison. Sad To Say, But I Was Happy In County. I Had Nothing To Worry About But Getting Up For Count. Then Reality Hit Me Face When I Turned In My "full Jail Issue" And Walked Out In To Real World. I Have Too Much Pride For Meeting And All That. I Guess I Just Need Another Herion Addict Fighting To Stay Clean To Talk Too. In A World Of Tweekers, No One Understands. Someone Talk Me Out Of The Needle!!!!!!!!!
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  #2  
Old 10-09-2007, 01:13 AM
Sabbai Sabbai is offline
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Honey, hit a meeting and you'll find everyone from bigwig CEOs, principals, politicians and your average Joe on the street. Who gives a **** what anyone thinks of you??? You're a powerful woman who's kicked heroin and survived jail.
You're doing great, but I think it would be of great benefit if you could find that constant source of support and encouragement. Who better than people who've been there themselves?
Take care sister, you're gonna make it.
<<hugs>>
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  #3  
Old 10-09-2007, 01:29 AM
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Lesliezack Lesliezack is offline
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PLease go to meeting's.....Call the drug abuse hotline....You have made it this far...don't end up back in jail...xoxoxo GOOD LUCK!
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  #4  
Old 10-09-2007, 06:13 AM
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Unhappy

I have been there done that you have to suck up your rpide and seek real help. i think the only reason you go to the clinic is for the meds. it's much easier to get them there isn't it? It was for me. You have to stop making excuses and seek help if that's what you really want the free world doesn't care less about you and your death will just be another satistic. Apparently you haven't hit your rock bottom yet because if you did you would beg everyone in ear shot for help. Good luck and I hope you get help before it's to late!
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  #5  
Old 10-09-2007, 07:04 AM
QUEENDRURY QUEENDRURY is offline
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CONGRATULATIONS!!i sense your pride adn i commend you on it. however,my mother always told me pride comes before a fall.you are very strong-willed to survive this far w/o teh preferred shootup.that is good.the previous post made sense to me, as i can see the substituting of one since you cant get the other-BUT WHERE WILL THAT USE LEAD YOU? i understand the appreciation you feel b/c it has helped you not use heroine but you stilll ar in the realm of that addictive feeling from heroine(-its only a different drug to use,a different fashion of intaking it,a different method of getting it.)when in rehab they told me that my klonopin were addictive adn that it stimulates the same part of the brain that crack cocaine does. i knew in my heart that eventually i would grow tolerable of klonopin and need something stronger.maybe you shoudl think about that.as for the meetings the people at those meetings can not be replaced-the knowledge youwill gain and the experiences (maybe like your own?) will touch your bones to understand you are not alone.i met some of the most interesting people who really cared in my meetings.you will never find such welcoming support as in those of your own kind...
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  #6  
Old 10-10-2007, 04:19 PM
xladyxliquidx xladyxliquidx is offline
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thank you all for your support!!!! one of my fears about meetings is running into others not quiet ready to quit, and leave talked into a fix. Sometimes talking about it makes me want it more. How is that for all of you? Does meetings really help get it out of your system or puts it on your mind? Asking for help is hard thing to do, but I guess even writing this post put me one step closer.
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  #7  
Old 10-10-2007, 08:54 PM
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Default not a tweeker

I am nineteen years old and have been using H on and off since I was 16. In July of '05, I lost my best friend because of smack and have not shot up since out of fear and respect for my dearest bestest friend. I am not scared to snort though. As for clinics, I was in detox once and in rehab for a few days back in '04. I do not like the rehab clinics we have here in Illinois. The staff are not so nice and they did not understand what I was going through, so I left after a few days. The rehab experience pretty much scared me straight, however I still seem to relapse every late July (around the time my bff died). I have never tried outpatient meetings. I guess I would be open to it. The last time I used H was around early September. I still do Vicodins and/or tramadol when I get stressed out, which happens alot lately because I have mid-terms coming up in school. Anyway, I applaud you for trying to go 'cold-turkey'. I am doing the same thing here. Plus, I know so many people that have been in and out of rehab,but just go back to using. It really has to be a personal choice. I slip up sometimes, but I'm just human. It is hard to give up the warm, comforting feeling of opiates. I think it is easier for coke heads. They just have bad trips and the paranoia freaks them out to where they do not want to do it anymore. With H, it is not so easy to let go of being comfortably numb. Anyway, I just wanted to share.
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  #8  
Old 10-10-2007, 09:04 PM
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Default one thing that does help

sorry for the double post, but i just wanted to say that staying busy usually keeps me clean. when i am going out and socializing, i am happy. last week i did alot of fun stuff- movies, video arcades, dancing, going out to dinner, etc. there is a such thing as clean fun. the problem is that i slip when i start to get bored or have a terrible few weeks. plus, my self-esteem is ultimately what destroys me. i think i have come a long way though since '05.
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  #9  
Old 10-10-2007, 11:53 PM
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hey i'm a recovering heroin addict. I've been an addict for 12 years and this is the cleanest i've been. I've tried rehab, counselling, outpaitent clinics and no use. I'm on the suboxone program since 5 years now. Everybody is different to what makes them strong enough to say no. Really you just have to find a way that suits you to stop. Rehab might work for one person but may not for you. Give it a go, give anything a go and you never know it could work for you. We just have to reprogram ourselves to instead of shooting up when we are: sad, angry, celabrateing, fighting, lonely or bored. We have to subitiute it for something else (not other drugs or drink!) Having someone to talk to really helps especially if they know where you're coming from like former addicts (who are still clean) to encourage you. As for ur man i had the same problems. Let him know how hard you are doing it and should know where you are coming from and that you are trying for the both of yous. Just remind him that he will be in the same boat when he gets out! being in a new place will help heaps and avoid everything that reminds you of when you were using like places yous scored and used at, people hung around with while using (they will just bring you back down & dump ur ass)music yous listen to while stoned. Start making goals and plans to make the future brighter and reason for giving up. If the world was what we want it we all would still be using! But it can't be done no amount of money or drugs is enough i know! Or have you tried a program like methodone, subutex/suboxone. That worked for me so far and i reduce when i want to and how much i want to. I don't know how much it is over there but here in Australia it only costs me $20 a week and i rather pay $20 a week than $1000 a day! Let us know how you go and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me. I'm here for you, i know how hard it is.
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  #10  
Old 10-11-2007, 01:05 AM
xladyxliquidx xladyxliquidx is offline
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hearing from other herion addicts really helps. over here in orange county, ca, everyone tweeks, no body understands. and hearing tweekers talk about withdrawls just piss me off, they don't know what a withdrawl is! over this last summer i've kicked 3 time, IN JAIL!
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  #11  
Old 10-11-2007, 01:10 AM
xladyxliquidx xladyxliquidx is offline
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Hearing Other Herion Addicts Really Helps Me! Here In Orange County,ca, There Is Nothing But Tweekers! And They Do Not Understand What A Real Withdrawl Is! Talking To Them Just Piss Me Off, I Kicked 3 Times Just This Last Summer, In Jail! I Didn't Cold Turkey By Choice, But It My Choice Now To Stay Sober (or I Should Say, Off Herion) But I Am Just Replacing It With Something Else. I Got A Bad Habit Of Smashing Up The Oxycontin And Snorting It, Or Smoke It. Thank God I Haven't Slammed It Yet, Cause If I Do Its All Over. Sometimes I Really Believe My Addiction Is With The Needle, And Not The Dope!
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