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  #1  
Old 09-06-2019, 08:06 AM
Gypsyrayne Gypsyrayne is offline
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Default Son is having a hard time in jail...

My son is in county jail, heís been there a little over 2 weeks. Heís having a hard time with the gang members in his pod. Yesterday, one of them stole all of his things when he was in the shower. When my son confronted him, he jumped on him. My son, not the gang member was taken to the holding cell.

Hereís the problem, my son says heís taking the first plea they offer him to get out of there. Iíve told him that would be a very stupid thing to do. They charged him as habitual, this is up to a 10 year sentence. Iím going to see a lawyer next week but I cannot justify hiring him if my son is so desperate to get out of county jail. I know he will do it because he did before.

Is there anything I can do? I donít understand why they put several members of the same gang in a pod. I donít understand why my son was punished instead of the gang member. I went to school with the sheriff of my town, Iíve thought of messaging him and asking if the gangs now run his jail but I feel this would make it worse. He brags to the news about how he runs the jail. How is it a law for the prison system that my son has to be under medical care because of his seizure disorder but not in county?

Iím seriously worried they are going to kill him.
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Old 09-06-2019, 12:32 PM
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You probably won't be able to change your son's mind, but ask the lawyer what he advises. Agreeing to accept a habitual criminal charge is probably a big mistake, but he is an adult and the one who will be stuck with the consequences of his decision.
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Old 09-06-2019, 02:24 PM
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You probably won't be able to change your son's mind, but ask the lawyer what he advises. Agreeing to accept a habitual criminal charge is probably a big mistake, but he is an adult and the one who will be stuck with the consequences of his decision.
I will ask the lawyer. I know itís a big mistake and I have told him that. Heís never even had the same charge before. He asked the magistrate how they can charge him as habitual and he said he had a similar charge.
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Old 09-07-2019, 09:05 AM
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I will ask the lawyer. I know it’s a big mistake and I have told him that. He’s never even had the same charge before. He asked the magistrate how they can charge him as habitual and he said he had a similar charge.
It doesn't have to be a repeat of the same charge to be habitual. If you have demonstrated that you are determined to continue to commit crimes, then that will generally constitute 'habitual.' If he has committed multiple crimes, which is apparently the case since you didn't say he has no prior convictions, then that will not go unnoticed, whether in a plea or trial.

If he IS guilty, and there is proof enough to see a conviction at trial heading his way, then the deal will almost certainly be better than whatever the crime carries as a possible/probable punishment.

It sounds like he's got himself to the point where convictions are going to sting pretty bad, and the deals aren't going to be overly generous.
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Old 09-10-2019, 11:31 PM
LenaPrisonMom76 LenaPrisonMom76 is offline
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Yeh if you saying sherriff brags he runs it an letting them do certain things. I dont know what state your in or how old he is I learned quick police guards all of them get you a contact on outside
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Old 09-11-2019, 10:35 AM
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Not sure how fast they move, but if he does sign for the time does that make them move him faster? I know here in Texas even after you sign for whatever time, you still can sit up to 45 days until you are moved from there. Maybe your son can put a complaint in about this incident, and maybe moved to another location at the facility.
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Old 09-11-2019, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Gypsyrayne View Post
I will ask the lawyer. I know itís a big mistake and I have told him that. Heís never even had the same charge before. He asked the magistrate how they can charge him as habitual and he said he had a similar charge.
Talk to a lawyer be it private or public defender. It does not sound like either of you fully understand potential charges he faces, what would be a reasonable or expected plea offer, what range of outcomes he faces if he does not take the first plea, and what range of outcomes he faces if he decides to take it to court.

He needs to understand options before making a decision like this.
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Old 09-11-2019, 09:56 PM
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Originally Posted by 3_thehardway View Post
Not sure how fast they move, but if he does sign for the time does that make them move him faster? I know here in Texas even after you sign for whatever time, you still can sit up to 45 days until you are moved from there. Maybe your son can put a complaint in about this incident, and maybe moved to another location at the facility.

Last time he had already been in jail 6 months. His public defender told him if he stayed a few months longer she could probably plead it down to a lesser offense, he was tired of being in a cage he said and wrote the judge that he was ready to take a plea. When he went to court it was within probably 2 weeks they moved him.
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Old 09-11-2019, 10:01 PM
Gypsyrayne Gypsyrayne is offline
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Talk to a lawyer be it private or public defender. It does not sound like either of you fully understand potential charges he faces, what would be a reasonable or expected plea offer, what range of outcomes he faces if he does not take the first plea, and what range of outcomes he faces if he decides to take it to court.

He needs to understand options before making a decision like this.
I was supposed to talk to a lawyer today but he had to reschedule. I donít know what a reasonable plea is but I know from past experiences the lawyer maybe could help it not be so long. Maybe get the charge ps reduced to a lesser offense. Iím sure it will be a plea not a trial. I doubt my son would take a gamble like that.
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Old 09-11-2019, 10:09 PM
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It's one thing to be one's mother in the capacity that a mom is meant for, it's another thing to do something that he must and should bear the responsibility of facing on his own. I know you love him and it's only normal that you don't want to see any harm come to him. None the less, he's in a situation that he's repeatedly caused to make happen in spite of the fact that he knows better and the consequences, as well.
Walking beside your son as he bears his hardships is the role both my parents fulfilled and played in my life. I would encourage you to do the same. You're his mom, not his savior. Until he gets to the point that he faces the facts about his behavior and the consequences all you are doing is enabling him and giving him a way out that he doesn't need just now.
He's your son and it's your choice, but you need to let him grow up and see reality for what it is......for better or worse.
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Old 09-11-2019, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsyrayne View Post
My son is in county jail, heís been there a little over 2 weeks. Heís having a hard time with the gang members in his pod. Yesterday, one of them stole all of his things when he was in the shower. When my son confronted him, he jumped on him. My son, not the gang member was taken to the holding cell.
They put your son in a place he would be safe(r). They can't round up all of the gang members and leave your son on the yard. It was the right thing for them to do.

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Originally Posted by Gypsyrayne View Post
Hereís the problem, my son says heís taking the first plea they offer him to get out of there. Iíve told him that would be a very stupid thing to do. They charged him as habitual, this is up to a 10 year sentence. Iím going to see a lawyer next week but I cannot justify hiring him if my son is so desperate to get out of county jail. I know he will do it because he did before.
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Originally Posted by Gypsyrayne View Post
Is there anything I can do? I donít understand why they put several members of the same gang in a pod. I donít understand why my son was punished instead of the gang member. I went to school with the sheriff of my town, Iíve thought of messaging him and asking if the gangs now run his jail but I feel this would make it worse. He brags to the news about how he runs the jail. How is it a law for the prison system that my son has to be under medical care because of his seizure disorder but not in county?

Iím seriously worried they are going to kill him.
In most facilities you will find gang members. County is where a lot of them establish themselves before going to prison. Meaning they set the tone for their stay by showing what they're capable of. A twisted rite of passage. It sounds like your son wears his anxiety like a flag and that staff recognized he could targeted again.

Good gravy don't text the sheriff. That's the last thing you want coming down on your son if he's already struggling. Every warden or sheriff has to deal with this issue and what we see as outrageous may be the best they can to do to mitigate damage. Our loved ones aren't in there because they did good deeds. Sometimes we have to let them sort things out and if the phrase habitual is being tossed around, things are only going to get tougher for him from there. Maybe it's time to let him make his own decisions, mom. As hard as that may be.
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Old 09-12-2019, 12:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsyrayne View Post
My son is in county jail, heís been there a little over 2 weeks. Heís having a hard time with the gang members in his pod. Yesterday, one of them stole all of his things when he was in the shower. When my son confronted him, he jumped on him. My son, not the gang member was taken to the holding cell.

Hereís the problem, my son says heís taking the first plea they offer him to get out of there. Iíve told him that would be a very stupid thing to do. They charged him as habitual, this is up to a 10 year sentence. Iím going to see a lawyer next week but I cannot justify hiring him if my son is so desperate to get out of county jail. I know he will do it because he did before.

Is there anything I can do? I donít understand why they put several members of the same gang in a pod. I donít understand why my son was punished instead of the gang member. I went to school with the sheriff of my town, Iíve thought of messaging him and asking if the gangs now run his jail but I feel this would make it worse. He brags to the news about how he runs the jail. How is it a law for the prison system that my son has to be under medical care because of his seizure disorder but not in county?

Iím seriously worried they are going to kill him.
They probably moved him for his own safety. By moving a gang member they would think he ratted and things could get worse for your son. It was strategic.
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Old 09-12-2019, 01:40 PM
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I feel for you I really do. My son went to prison and I didnt think he would cope there were much bigger and harder men than him in there. I wanted everything sorted for him I wanted him to be looked after like I would have done.

The hardest pill to swallow was that my son was an adult serving time for actions he had taken. I had to step back and let him deal with it. I provided for his basic needs and nothing more.I didnt want him thinking prison was easy and doable as Mum makes it easy.

I think they have acted in your sons best interests and put your son in safety.

He needs to start taking responsibility that is our role as Mums to encourage that.

My son did stand on his own two feet he made good use of his time and he stood up for himself when he needed to.

He is home now going on 2 years and he is off licence in November. He has a job a relationship and he has no intention of going back to his old ways thats the result we want overall.
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Old 09-13-2019, 08:01 AM
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I feel for you I really do. My son went to prison and I didnt think he would cope there were much bigger and harder men than him in there. I wanted everything sorted for him I wanted him to be looked after like I would have done.

The hardest pill to swallow was that my son was an adult serving time for actions he had taken. I had to step back and let him deal with it. I provided for his basic needs and nothing more.I didnt want him thinking prison was easy and doable as Mum makes it easy.

I think they have acted in your sons best interests and put your son in safety.

He needs to start taking responsibility that is our role as Mums to encourage that.



My son did stand on his own two feet he made good use of his time and he stood up for himself when he needed to.

He is home now going on 2 years and he is off licence in November. He has a job a relationship and he has no intention of going back to his old ways thats the result we want overall.
Thank you. They moved him to medical, where he should have been to begin with. He has a seizure disorder.

He said he would never go back as well. He did good for 2 1/2 years. Drugs have a huge impact on people. He only started using again in May. Didnít take long to be right back where he was before he went to prison last time. Addiction sucks.
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Old 09-13-2019, 08:02 AM
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They probably moved him for his own safety. By moving a gang member they would think he ratted and things could get worse for your son. It was strategic.
At first they did think he snitched but as none of them got in trouble they know he didnít. Heís in medical now. He should have been there all along. He has a seizure disorder.
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Old 09-13-2019, 08:05 AM
Gypsyrayne Gypsyrayne is offline
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I feel for you I really do. My son went to prison and I didnt think he would cope there were much bigger and harder men than him in there. I wanted everything sorted for him I wanted him to be looked after like I would have done.

The hardest pill to swallow was that my son was an adult serving time for actions he had taken. I had to step back and let him deal with it. I provided for his basic needs and nothing more.I didnt want him thinking prison was easy and doable as Mum makes it easy.

I think they have acted in your sons best interests and put your son in safety.

He needs to start taking responsibility that is our role as Mums to encourage that.



My son did stand on his own two feet he made good use of his time and he stood up for himself when he needed to.

He is home now going on 2 years and he is off licence in November. He has a job a relationship and he has no intention of going back to his old ways thats the result we want overall.
I know he needs to take responsibility for his actions. And he will. With him having a seizure disorder,getting beat in the head could literally kill him.
Heís been to prison before. He says prison is better than jail. Itís hard to deal with this being a mom.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:28 AM
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I know he needs to take responsibility for his actions. And he will. With him having a seizure disorder,getting beat in the head could literally kill him.
Heís been to prison before. He says prison is better than jail. Itís hard to deal with this being a mom.
My dad has epilepsy and I know how scary it is not to be able to check on them or think that they might be missing their medication or stressed into a seizure.

He's right, prison is usually better than county jail. More structure, slightly less ego in play. I thought that when you said he plead out the first time. People do it for their own reasons and his is to get out of county. I can understand that.

When the anxiety over his health ramps up for you about what might happen to him in jail, remember that he put his health second when he went back to drugs. Not you. Not the jail. Not the other inmates. He needs to find a better way.
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Old 09-14-2019, 03:58 PM
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My dad has epilepsy and I know how scary it is not to be able to check on them or think that they might be missing their medication or stressed into a seizure.

He's right, prison is usually better than county jail. More structure, slightly less ego in play. I thought that when you said he plead out the first time. People do it for their own reasons and his is to get out of county. I can understand that.

When the anxiety over his health ramps up for you about what might happen to him in jail, remember that he put his health second when he went back to drugs. Not you. Not the jail. Not the other inmates. He needs to find a better way.

You are so right. I pretty much told hm the exact same thing today. I told hm he was the one who chose not to go to rehab even though I begged him. Things have gotten a bit better but still the same old same old.
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