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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 08-10-2019, 02:16 PM
Sheisinaz Sheisinaz is offline
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So Yesterday my ex who we were taking a break cause she hurt me. She was talking to other girls before she went to prison. Well I decided to work on our relationship cause she asked me to think about it before I move on. Well long story short. I got a letter from her saying she met a girl in prison and she moved on. That Its my fault she had no choice. She was alone. And cause she hurt me I distanced myself. And when I decided to try to talk things out she threw I moved on card.She only been in Perryville for a month and two weeks. She moved on so fast. Im super hurt and shocked. She told me she would give me time to think about everything. But when I decided to try she already with someone else. After everything I did for her. Emotionally and supported her and helped her with her family all this time.I even paid her lawyer she was looking at 25 years and Cause I hired this lawyer they gave her only 3 and half years. How the fuck this happen. She proved everyone right. Everyone was saying she playing me and that she was just using me. Dam i never felt so hurt. She rather be with someone on the inside. I just dont get it . How could she do me so wrong? Is this even going to last? What should i do?

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Old 08-10-2019, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Sheisinaz View Post
And cause she hurt me I distanced myself. And when I decided to try to talk things out she threw I moved on card.She only been in Perryville for a month and two weeks. She moved on so fast.
She was talking to other people.
I got hurt so I bounced.
She told me to think about it.
I decided to work on it (fyi...you can't work on a relationship by yourself)
She 'moved on' and it's your fault because she's alone (what?).

She hasn't moved on, if there even is another girl it won't last. If this small snippet is indicative of the tone of your relationship, it sounds like y'all did more push-pull than a game of tug-o-war at a family reunion. Paying for her lawyer was a choice and one I suppose you regret, but at the time you did it you felt it was the right thing to do so you've gotta let it go.

I don't know how old you are but my guess is that you're both a little young. Look back at what you did that you wouldn't do again and find yourself a happy future.
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  #3  
Old 08-10-2019, 02:31 PM
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She was talking to other people.
I got hurt so I bounced.
She told me to think about it.
I decided to work on it (fyi...you can't work on a relationship by yourself)
She 'moved on' and it's your fault because she's alone (what?).

She hasn't moved on, if there even is another girl it won't last. If this small snippet is indicative of the tone of your relationship, it sounds like y'all did more push-pull than a game of tug-o-war at a family reunion. Paying for her lawyer was a choice and one I suppose you regret, but at the time you did it you felt it was the right thing to do so you've gotta let it go.

I don't know how old you are but my guess is that you're both a little young. Look back at what you did that you wouldn't do again and find yourself a happy future.
Youre right. And yes she blamed me for distancing myself cause she had other girls in jail too. But before she went to prison she asked me to forgive her. And think about working things out. So wrote her letter saying I was willing. And she tells me she moved on lol just crazy how someone inside can offer her more than me i guess.
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Old 08-10-2019, 03:06 PM
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A relationship is a two way street! You both have to be on the same page in talking and working things out, in your relationship. It's no breaks in between. You either want to talk and work things out or just go your separate ways. Breaks leads to other things. It looks like she didn't want to continue with a relationship anymore. She either did move on to be with an inmate inside with her OR she just told you that so you could move on with your life. It's nothing you can do about it. You live, you learn, and you move on. Regardless, of what you've done for her and all the effort you've put into the relationship. A relationship can't last without both sides doing it together as a team. I know you feel hurt and lost on what she did, how she did it. Especially, after everything you've done for her and she ends it in this way. You have to just let go of the things you did for her, at that time y'all was in a relationship and you did it out of love you had for her, and y'all relationship. If she was using you she'll eventually face her own karma.
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Old 08-10-2019, 04:05 PM
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A relationship is a two way street! You both have to be on the same page in talking and working things out, in your relationship. It's no breaks in between. You either want to talk and work things out or just go your separate ways. Breaks leads to other things. It looks like she didn't want to continue with a relationship anymore. She either did move on to be with an inmate inside with her OR she just told you that so you could move on with your life. It's nothing you can do about it. You live, you learn, and you move on. Regardless, of what you've done for her and all the effort you've put into the relationship. A relationship can't last without both sides doing it together as a team. I know you feel hurt and lost on what she did, how she did it. Especially, after everything you've done for her and she ends it in this way. You have to just let go of the things you did for her, at that time y'all was in a relationship and you did it out of love you had for her, and y'all relationship. If she was using you she'll eventually face her own karma.
Should I write her back or leave it as it is?
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Old 08-10-2019, 04:31 PM
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The fact that you hired an attorney and saved her from doing a bunch of time as opposed to a bit of time is the thing you need to take stock of just now. She'll get out...right now she can't deal with anyone or anything that's not within reach. And what is to do with the FREE WORLD is not within reach until further notice. Maybe she'll change in time and maybe the time will change her. DON'T LET THE TIME CHANGE YOU. You did your part..let it go and move on.
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Old 08-10-2019, 05:12 PM
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Should I write her back or leave it as it is?
I wouldn't write her back at all. Just leave it as it is I wouldn't give her the opportunity to know how you feel about what she done. She didn't give you a chance to talk and work things out!! I wouldn't give her a chance to know how you feel. She said she moved on. I'll move on as well.
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Old 08-10-2019, 07:06 PM
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She seems emotionally immature. I hope you grieve this relationship and move on to better things. If someone can’t be loyal for a month or whatever it is then they have to go. I. Sorry it it is hard but cry your cries and move on.
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Old 08-12-2019, 12:33 PM
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Hey, you put your all into it. I remember your earlier posts. From what you've told us here, you looked out for this girl. She did not look out for you. Not really anyway.


Heal yourself first. Build yourself first. Add someone who adds to you.


What works best is up to you, but if it were me in your shoes, I'd leave it alone.


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Old 08-13-2019, 12:46 PM
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Hey, you put your all into it. I remember your earlier posts. From what you've told us here, you looked out for this girl. She did not look out for you. Not really anyway.


Heal yourself first. Build yourself first. Add someone who adds to you.


What works best is up to you, but if it were me in your shoes, I'd leave it alone.


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Now her family is telling me not be mad. That it not their fault she hurt me. They want me to stay in contact with them but I shouldn't. right?
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Old 08-13-2019, 05:01 PM
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Do whatever you decide is right for you, which may not be anywhere close to what her family wants.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:43 AM
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Now her family is telling me not be mad. That it not their fault she hurt me. They want me to stay in contact with them but I shouldn't. right?
Don't be mad - anger is a negative frequency and only attracts more negative. You know you love her, unconditionally... taking care of you 1st and taking time to think your next moves out isn't wrong or unhealthy. Just keep it real with her and the family - send her great vibes and keep your head up
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Old 08-14-2019, 07:05 AM
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Do whatever you decide is right for you, which may not be anywhere close to what her family wants.
Exactly she did this to me twice. Iam not mad I just need to distance myself because I truly do love her. But she want me to move on I need to remove myself completely.

Last edited by Sheisinaz; 08-14-2019 at 07:14 AM..
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Old 08-14-2019, 07:08 AM
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Don't be mad - anger is a negative frequency and only attracts more negative. You know you love her, unconditionally... taking care of you 1st and taking time to think your next moves out isn't wrong or unhealthy. Just keep it real with her and the family - send her great vibes and keep your head up
Im not mad 😠 Im hurt. I do love her unconditionally. I’m distancing myself from her family because I love her and She asked me to move on. So the best way to do this is move on and figure what Im going to do for me. Its hard when you dont have much support or comfort. My family doesn’t even support me during this hurtful moments. Im just so hurt. I dont even know what im doing anymore.
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Old 08-14-2019, 07:33 AM
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I'd have to agree with you. Remove yourself completely. Maybe at some later point a friendship may be possible, but for now? Protect yourself.
Surround yourself with peace and no drama, and I think staying connected with her family wont be helpful at all to you. And right now? Thats who matters. You.


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Old 08-14-2019, 07:39 AM
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I'd have to agree with you. Remove yourself completely. Maybe at some later point a friendship may be possible, but for now? Protect yourself.
Surround yourself with peace and no drama, and I think staying connected with her family wont be helpful at all to you. And right now? Thats who matters. You.


wish you all the best
Im trying my best and its hard cause I want to money on her stuff but why be invested into something that doesn't want me anymore
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