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Old 07-19-2018, 01:57 PM
RandomTexasGirl RandomTexasGirl is offline
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Default I can't believe I got myself into this mess...

Several months ago, I went out with a friend's boyfriend behind her back. I know I shouldn't have, but he told me he was planning to break up with her (can't believe I fell for that). When she found out about it, she and two of her friends cornered me in a bathroom at school and she attacked me. I fought back in self-defense and she got the worst of it. I actually broke her nose, but I swear I didn't mean to. I'd never been in a fight before and was just swinging wildly, not really aiming for anything in particular. No one else witnessed the fight and she and her friends lied and said I started it. The administration called the cops and I was arrested.

I had to go to court and was found guilty cause all three of them stuck to their story and said I started it. This morning I was back in court to learn my fate. I don't have any priors, but the judge sentenced me to three months in juvie. Since I have a job and some other responsibilities, he's given me until Monday to get my affairs in order. Then I have to report to the county juvenile detention center to begin serving my sentence. I'm feeling really nervous because I've never been there and no one I know has been there either. So, I really have no idea what to expect.

In the months since the incident I've had a lot of time to think and I totally own the fact that I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with if I hadn't been such a sh*tty friend. I also know that there's no chance that she'll ever forgive me. I also don't want any more trouble when I see her at school three months from now. Maybe I should just switch schools. I'd really hate to do that though. Any advice anyone can offer about how to deal with my friend or about how to deal with being in juvie would be greatly appreciated.

While I'm sure juvie won't be fun, I will try and make the most of it and use this as a chance to become a better person. I definitely learned a lesson here about how one bad choice can turn your life to crap.
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Old 07-19-2018, 02:15 PM
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I can't give you advice on the detention center part, but I'm sure there will be others who can.

As far as the friend-- well, you both screwed up if we're honest. Probably shouldn't have gone out with her guy and she didn't need to confront you with friends in the bathroom. I'm assuming that you're in your last year or two of school? Did this completely disrupt your social circle or do you still have solid friends who can see past the whole thing and stand by you?

I had a falling out with a friend that turned into everyone in that group save for one coming after me. It was a trivial matter that spiraled out of control and ultimately I wound up in a fight at school. After that, I was on my own and that was hard. BUT...I didn't leave school, I didn't change schools, I just made adjustments in how I went about my day in order to avoid conflict with them. That was much easier than my mind had built it up to be and because of those adjustments, I made a new and ultimately more healthy set of friends. But this scenario also requires that the former friends be willing to do their part by not continuing to drag the situation out any further. You can't do much to control that.

So...what are the odds that this trio will keep up their need to confront you? Do you want to start over at another school? If that's comfortable for you (it wasn't for me, I was a senior and I knew no one at the next school over) and you think that would be best, then so be it. I could understand the desire, you just have to weigh what you may lose/gain either way.
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Old 07-19-2018, 03:54 PM
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I can't give you advice on the detention center part, but I'm sure there will be others who can.

As far as the friend-- well, you both screwed up if we're honest. Probably shouldn't have gone out with her guy and she didn't need to confront you with friends in the bathroom. I'm assuming that you're in your last year or two of school? Did this completely disrupt your social circle or do you still have solid friends who can see past the whole thing and stand by you?

I had a falling out with a friend that turned into everyone in that group save for one coming after me. It was a trivial matter that spiraled out of control and ultimately I wound up in a fight at school. After that, I was on my own and that was hard. BUT...I didn't leave school, I didn't change schools, I just made adjustments in how I went about my day in order to avoid conflict with them. That was much easier than my mind had built it up to be and because of those adjustments, I made a new and ultimately more healthy set of friends. But this scenario also requires that the former friends be willing to do their part by not continuing to drag the situation out any further. You can't do much to control that.

So...what are the odds that this trio will keep up their need to confront you? Do you want to start over at another school? If that's comfortable for you (it wasn't for me, I was a senior and I knew no one at the next school over) and you think that would be best, then so be it. I could understand the desire, you just have to weigh what you may lose/gain either way.
In answer to your questions, yes, I would have been starting my senior year towards the end of August. And yes, this has disrupted my circle of friends. I only have one real solid friend left.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just try and tough out this final year once I'm released. I really don't want to change schools. Granted, if I did, it wouldn't be that tough. I do know some people at some other schools through the youth group at my church. Not that any of them know about what's going on. I've been too embarrassed to tell them.
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Old 07-19-2018, 04:32 PM
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In answer to your questions, yes, I would have been starting my senior year towards the end of August. And yes, this has disrupted my circle of friends. I only have one real solid friend left.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just try and tough out this final year once I'm released. I really don't want to change schools. Granted, if I did, it wouldn't be that tough. I do know some people at some other schools through the youth group at my church. Not that any of them know about what's going on. I've been too embarrassed to tell them.
If you decide to transfer, tell people it is a safety transfer. You don't need to explain your situation. If you go to a large school, you can find new ppl and group. Smaller settings are more difficult.

I'm glad you are owning your part. You won't be the first or the last. Pay attn to the lesson in revenge here as well as loyalty in friendships.

This does not define you. You can be more and do more.
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Old 07-19-2018, 04:34 PM
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I just want to say...3 months in jail? With zero prior offenses? Holy smoke.

Good luck to you...
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Old 07-19-2018, 05:21 PM
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While you're waiting for a reply from someone who knows about TX girls's juvie let me try to be helpful.

If it's like most prison or jail situations then the usual advice would be to keep a low profile and bore the snot out of everybody, and to fill as much time as possible with education.
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Old 07-20-2018, 09:06 AM
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While you're waiting for a reply from someone who knows about TX girls's juvie let me try to be helpful.

If it's like most prison or jail situations then the usual advice would be to keep a low profile and bore the snot out of everybody, and to fill as much time as possible with education.
My son recently did a month in juvie waiting for sentence. He's 13, so you have the benefit of not being the youngest kid there. I know what it's like to look at my baby handcuffed in a cell, heartbreaking for any parent.

He spent his time reading and drawing mostly. Played basketball at rec. We visited as often as we could. He said the nights were the hardest. Very lonely. After the first 2 weeks a counselor gave him a notebook to journal and draw in and that really made him happy.

3 months is going to suck, there's no way around it. But really just keep a low profile. Be nice, but don't go out of your way to make friends. The same rules apply as adult prison....don't borrow,don't gamble, keep good hygiene, find something to do to occupy your time. Some places have schoolwork you can do while inside. Take advantage of it.

My son wasn't allowed to go back to the school he was at when he was arrested. Have you received any information from the school on disciplinary actions? It may be best to switch schools, or complete senior year online since you'll be missing the first part of the year.

Wish I could give you a big hug! I really do! I hope you have family support and people who can be there for you during your time in juvie. There will be counselors there to talk to and I urge you to do so anytime you feel like you need to talk.

Best of luck to you! Keep your head up and get through this! It's not the end of the world and soon it'll be behind you and you'll have the rest of your life to look forward to.
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Old 07-20-2018, 10:48 AM
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There has to be somebody here who knows TJJD from the inside or at least knows somebody to ask.
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Old 07-20-2018, 02:33 PM
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My son recently did a month in juvie waiting for sentence. He's 13, so you have the benefit of not being the youngest kid there. I know what it's like to look at my baby handcuffed in a cell, heartbreaking for any parent.

He spent his time reading and drawing mostly. Played basketball at rec. We visited as often as we could. He said the nights were the hardest. Very lonely. After the first 2 weeks a counselor gave him a notebook to journal and draw in and that really made him happy.

3 months is going to suck, there's no way around it. But really just keep a low profile. Be nice, but don't go out of your way to make friends. The same rules apply as adult prison....don't borrow,don't gamble, keep good hygiene, find something to do to occupy your time. Some places have schoolwork you can do while inside. Take advantage of it.

My son wasn't allowed to go back to the school he was at when he was arrested. Have you received any information from the school on disciplinary actions? It may be best to switch schools, or complete senior year online since you'll be missing the first part of the year.

Wish I could give you a big hug! I really do! I hope you have family support and people who can be there for you during your time in juvie. There will be counselors there to talk to and I urge you to do so anytime you feel like you need to talk.

Best of luck to you! Keep your head up and get through this! It's not the end of the world and soon it'll be behind you and you'll have the rest of your life to look forward to.
Thank you for the advice and encouragement. I'm sorry to hear that you and your son had to go through all that. If you don't mind my asking, what was his charge? If you don't want to answer that, I understand.

My mom and I were discussing school earlier. While I have the okay to return for my senior year, she also suggested that I do online schooling instead. I don't know. I'm still undecided. But I guess the good news (using the term loosely) is that I have three months to decide.

My parents have said that they'll try and come visit me once a week and that if for some reason they can't come, then I can call them. They've been totally supportive throughout this whole thing and I'm so glad. It feels good knowing they're in my corner since almost everyone at school abandoned me.

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Old 07-20-2018, 02:59 PM
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Thank you for the advice and encouragement. I'm sorry to hear that you and your son had to go through all that. If you don't mind my asking, what was his charge? If you don't want to answer that, I understand.

My mom and I were discussing school earlier and she suggested that I do my senior year online too. I'm still undecided. But I guess the good news (using the term loosely) is that I have three months to decide.
He was charged with interference with or disruption of an educational institution. They dropped the terrorism charge. 2 girls claimed that he was making threats to harm them. He was the quiet kid who just wanted to be left alone...and when that didn't work he decided to be the creepy kid which backfired, obviously. He went through numerous psychological and psychiatric evaluations both in juvie and out.

I'm so glad to hear that you and your mom have open and honest communication. It sounds like she's there for you. I didn't go to HS my senior year. I had a baby pretty young and took extra courses online and in the summer so I could graduate early. Not the same circumstance, I understand, but I really don't feel like I missed anything by not going an additional year. You could likely get an online diploma more quickly than if you attended class. What are your plans for after graduation?

I'd love to send you some positive mail while you're in, if you and your parents are open to it, and if the facility will allow it.
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Old 07-20-2018, 03:05 PM
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In answer to your questions, yes, I would have been starting my senior year towards the end of August. And yes, this has disrupted my circle of friends. I only have one real solid friend left.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just try and tough out this final year once I'm released. I really don't want to change schools. Granted, if I did, it wouldn't be that tough. I do know some people at some other schools through the youth group at my church. Not that any of them know about what's going on. I've been too embarrassed to tell them.
I do want to say that your church should be the last people to judge you. My mom is all the time picking women up from the rehab here and taking them to church. It is a churches job to teach the way of the Lord, not to pass judgement on it's followers. It might be worth it to talk to them before you go. Maybe a preacher would like to visit you from time to time. I'm sure some would like to write and trust me when I say that mail call and letter writing really helps pass the time.
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Old 07-20-2018, 03:30 PM
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He was charged with interference with or disruption of an educational institution. They dropped the terrorism charge. 2 girls claimed that he was making threats to harm them. He was the quiet kid who just wanted to be left alone...and when that didn't work he decided to be the creepy kid which backfired, obviously. He went through numerous psychological and psychiatric evaluations both in juvie and out.

I'm so glad to hear that you and your mom have open and honest communication. It sounds like she's there for you. I didn't go to HS my senior year. I had a baby pretty young and took extra courses online and in the summer so I could graduate early. Not the same circumstance, I understand, but I really don't feel like I missed anything by not going an additional year. You could likely get an online diploma more quickly than if you attended class. What are your plans for after graduation?

I'd love to send you some positive mail while you're in, if you and your parents are open to it, and if the facility will allow it.
Well, I want to attend college for sure. Not sure what the facility's policy is, I'll have to check. If it's cool, then I'd really appreciate that.
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Old 07-20-2018, 03:32 PM
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I do want to say that your church should be the last people to judge you. My mom is all the time picking women up from the rehab here and taking them to church. It is a churches job to teach the way of the Lord, not to pass judgement on it's followers. It might be worth it to talk to them before you go. Maybe a preacher would like to visit you from time to time. I'm sure some would like to write and trust me when I say that mail call and letter writing really helps pass the time.
I dunno...I've been doing my best to make sure as few people around here know about this as possible. But I'll think about it.
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Old 07-20-2018, 05:38 PM
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This is not what you asked for and not what you need, and I'm sorry, but it's the best I can do.

You can expect a place that is free of overcrowding but where the staff turnover is high and their skill level will be all over the map, near as I can tell from what I've read about TJJD.

There's a dog training program, or at least there used to be years ago. It wouldn't be for short-timers like you but the point is that if they run a dog program that suggests they actually care about results.

I really really hope you get a real answer!
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Old 07-21-2018, 10:00 AM
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Here's some more inadequate information. Wakeup time is 5 AM or before. There are lots of cameras, says one news story, and that's a good thing for your safety. All the photos look like a prison and not a school, except for the classrooms.
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Old 07-21-2018, 10:07 AM
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You said county. I've been looking up Ron Jackson. Everything I've said might be useless.
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Old 07-21-2018, 05:23 PM
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To everyone who posted in this thread with good intentions, who posted in this thread because its what we do here at PTO = Member helping member with information, support & understanding: Thank You

I'm so very sorry to tell PTO members that this account is a hoax, one of three accounts created by the same person to glean information for a book s/he's writing.

All s/he had to do was be honest. S/he had three opportunities to read PTO's policies, once with each account that was registered. Instead, s/he opted to ignore those policies and continue fraudulently posting, creating three different scenarios, one with each account. I am beyond livid that anyone would come into this community with full intentions of using PTO's members to advance their writing in the hopes of a financial gain, not once, but three times

In chronological order, oldest account first:

DetentionBound; Thread: I will be sent away soon and need advice/Updated

AmberWaves94; Thread: Going away for a year and don't know what to expect

RandomTexasGirl; Thread: I can't believe I got myself into this mess...

As members of PTO, keep doing what you do best: provide information, advice, support & understanding. You are all appreciated

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