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  #1  
Old 01-02-2018, 07:19 PM
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Quiet Storm Quiet Storm is offline
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Default Hi Everyone...

It's been awhile since I have been here... a year, probably longer. So most of you won't remember my posts, but I just wanted to post a relatively quick update in case anyone does. I can't wait to read the posts on here since I was last present.

To summarize, I met my "friend" (not sure what word to use) on a prison pen pal site a couple of years ago. We became close. He is in for life with the possibility of parole in 2021. He has been in prison since he was 19. He's almost 50 now and I'm 53.

I work as a physician and medical writer. I love that he is kind, intelligent, and sensitive. Since being in prison he has acquired 2 degrees, one as a paralegal.

I had to stop writing to him last year, as my ex-husband found out I was communicating with a "convict" and challenged our custody agreement. I told him what was going on, and why I had to stop communicating at the moment, so he would not think I just disappeared from the face of the earth. Long story short.... a lot has happened, including a serious chronic disease diagnosis for my daughter who is now almost 17 and lives with me full-time.

I think that S. (my prison pen pal) is a great guy. I've been with several guys who don't hold a candle to him. I think he made a huge mistake when he was 19 years old. He fought a man in a bar who was hitting on his date, and ended up accidentally breaking his hyoid bone and he died. He received a sentence of felony murder.

He is sweet and amazing, but I have a worry about him being with me directly out of prison when he has not had a chance to be an adult. Also, it has bothered me when we talk about certain subjects, where it is clear that he has no growth/experience. Of course he doesn't.... he's been in prison since age 19 years. Why would he know about how insurance works or any other adult situations? He doesn't. I'm not sure I want to be the person to train him on all of that.

He is also very proud. I don't believe he's violent, but he has had instances where he has been thrown in solitary for quite awhile. He gets upset that the staff there do not "respect" him, and I said S..... you are not in a place where you can command respect. If you want out on parole in 2021, then you need to STOP this.

But honestly, what do I know.

So I guess we will see what happens....
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  #2  
Old 01-03-2018, 12:36 AM
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well.... my boyfriend is in for murder he committed when he was 19 so I kind of have the same worries when he gets out at one point. So I try not to worry too much at this point and will cross that bridge when we get there (hopefully together)... in the meantime I'm enjoying the ride
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Old 01-03-2018, 03:47 AM
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I have a friend who has been in for murder, since just shy of his 17th birthday, and is now almost 40. He has never driven a car or had a job, other than McDonalds.

I will say, he has some grandiose ideas of how his life will be upon release (another 5 years). I certainly hope he can bring them to fruition. He knows nothing of life on the outside and it will be an absolute culture shock, once he is out and dealing with daily tasks and shit changing in the blink of an eye.

All we can do is try to keep things in perspective, allow them to find their own way and not have too many expectations of them.
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Old 01-03-2018, 04:56 AM
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Exactly, Jeff has great ideas and says he'll hit the ground running... I think he will - sort of - once he gets used to the different pace, new things, obstacles that might come his way and so on and on and on... Fortunately he's had a life (19 years) before prison, a job and a car and girlfriends and a really good support in his family, great foundation but still... we're talking 24+ years now since he's not been in this environment... heck.. he used to have an answering machine when he went in..
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Old 01-03-2018, 11:51 AM
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Hey Quiet Storm - welcome back! I sure do remember you I am sorry to hear about your daughter's illness, and that you had to cut contact with S due to your ex's issue with his background. I hope the custody arrangement was settled between you and your ex husband.

Glad to see you back and I hope you'll gain some clarification as to where you are headed (or not) with S in the future. Perhaps right now just take it one day at a time...sometimes the right answers come to us with some time.

Happy New Year to you
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