Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > LOVING A... > Loving a Lifer
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-15-2015, 01:16 PM
Miss Meeow Miss Meeow is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Berlin (Germany)
Posts: 1,246
Thanks: 282
Thanked 1,278 Times in 589 Posts
Default How do you handle being in a relationship with a lifer?

I'm sorry for such a stupid question but I'm at a loss right now.
Please don't get me wrong. I don't want to judge you, I don't want to ask you why you're in these relationships. I just want to learn the how.

Some background: I do have a friend who's a lifer, LWOP, but he hopes that one day, maybe, he might get paroled. Anyway, we had a pretty good conversation today about him and about how he tries to shut down his feelings in there. Simply because he things that with him being in prison he'll never be able to have some kind of "normal" relationship. He doesn't want to be so selfish and put a woman through such a torture (that's more or less what he said). And well, I feel so sorry for him because I don't think that only because he's in prison he wouldn't deserve love and such.

Well, and then I had to think about you, about all these strong women (and men) on here and was wondering: How the hell can you all do it?
Could you live all your dreams (even with him being in prison)?
What about children? If you didn't have any prior to him going to prison, did you give up on this dream? Or what did you do? IVF? And well, what about the physical needs one has in a relationship? (And I'm not talking about sex only...there's so much more to it...I love being hold at nights or so...stuff like this...)

Well, I hope I didn't offend you...
Thanks so much...
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-15-2015, 01:38 PM
Sammy's Girl's Avatar
Sammy's Girl Sammy's Girl is offline
My ❤ is in Cali Moderator

Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,371
Thanks: 384
Thanked 960 Times in 657 Posts
Default

I personally had to do a LOT of soul searching, this is not a path to be taken lightly.

I adored him the first time we met (we are MWI, and visits behind glass.) By the second visit I was absolutely smitten, but scared. We wrote about his sentence, and at first I didn't understand about California's 3-strikes law. So I learned.

We just progressed like a normal relationship. Would I love to have him next to me at night, of course! But that is not the had that has been dealt. We are excited to take the next step for us, which will be as soon as they move him we will get contact visits and I am beyond excited to have his arms around me and a kiss, even if its just a moment, it will be more than what we have had so far.

We love each other, and that is what matters right here and now.
__________________
.
>
.
CDCr kicked him out of the SHU, YAY!!!
.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Sammy's Girl For This Useful Post:
blondrollergirl (02-20-2018), Jay1 (04-29-2015), Miss Meeow (04-18-2015), Mrs.Parker<3 (06-05-2018)
  #3  
Old 04-15-2015, 11:17 PM
maniacswifey619 maniacswifey619 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,233
Thanks: 16
Thanked 741 Times in 443 Posts
Default

Goodness being in a relationship with a lifer is one of the most difficult things I've ever chosen to do. There are a lot of ups and downs. A lot of mood swings and a lot of worrisome times. When I started this journey I was so sure that I could and would be able to trek along with him
But it gets harder and harder every day and sometimes the pain I feel without him is so unbearable. Sometimes I just want to scream out loud from the frustration of it all but then I think to myself and remind myself that I chose this life. I chose to love a man who is incarcerated and sentenced to 15-life with parole. My choice. And I just take it one day at a time.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to maniacswifey619 For This Useful Post:
DsLatinQueen67 (08-29-2016), Inhishands (04-30-2015), Jay1 (04-29-2015), Miss Meeow (04-18-2015), Mrs.Parker<3 (06-05-2018), RaeLR (02-25-2018)
  #4  
Old 04-18-2015, 04:40 AM
Miss Meeow Miss Meeow is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Berlin (Germany)
Posts: 1,246
Thanks: 282
Thanked 1,278 Times in 589 Posts
Default

Thank you for the answers.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-18-2015, 07:08 AM
Dakini's Avatar
Dakini Dakini is offline
TheBee'sKnees
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: United States of America
Posts: 1,693
Thanks: 1,255
Thanked 3,715 Times in 1,115 Posts
Default

There are also gifts in this situation, believe it or not. We choose to focus on those.
__________________
Buy the ticket, take the ride. ~ Hunter S. Thompson
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dakini For This Useful Post:
Inhishands (04-19-2015), Metaxu (04-18-2015), Mrs.Parker<3 (06-05-2018), Zed (04-18-2015)
  #6  
Old 04-19-2015, 02:37 PM
SoCalBeachGirl SoCalBeachGirl is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Calif
Posts: 11
Thanks: 2
Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts
Default

I know this is off subject...but do any of you here have experience with offering the right kind of guidance to your lifer who may get parole?

My friend has the possibility of parole. He has been up for 35 years and has been turned down three times. His next review is in 2017. I think they want more admission from him about his crime. But legally they can't hold that against someone if they don't want to discuss the crime. But we all know they can. They say they want to see "insight"

I think he is too stubborn for his own good. He seems to think they won't tell him what he needs to work on. I suspect he has more of an in prison record than he has told me, but not sure.

Is his parole rejection a public record? I have seen the last one on Legal Eagle because of an appeal he filed. But I have not see the others. The commissioner at the last one said he "looking good" and is "a wait and see kind of guy". He is active in committees etc and not gang involved, no drugs etc. At least he says....

Is there a forum here for helping a lifer with his in prison attitude etc?e or time leading up to hearing? Do inmates who file writs and appeals get black listed? Thanks!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to SoCalBeachGirl For This Useful Post:
blondrollergirl (02-20-2018)
  #7  
Old 04-27-2015, 01:48 PM
island_chick island_chick is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Orginaly from EPA, CA residing in Dallas TX
Posts: 9
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 1 Post
Default

I can honestly say this is nothing I have planned out to do with my life..lol..My man and I were childhood friends and I've always had this deep bond with him....26 years later I just so happen to bump into him again....And he just hits the spot in every which way..This is my soulmate and WE were destined to be with one another...And I think when something is DESTINED you will supernaturaly endure the storm with a smile and a willing heart...That's my take on all of this...I feel complete with him that all this behind the bars stuff don't faze me one bit...I feel like what I went through in life the ups and the downs has prepared me for this life with a man that may never be free for the rest of his life...I may not have the white picket fence dream every girl dreams of..But this is my reality that I embrace with all that I am...I now look foward to phone calls and letters and visits..Diffrent from ur normal relationship..But as God spoke to my heart and said 'Who is going to love the lifer?' Not everyone can do this but some woman I feel...God has fully equiped to have the ability to walk hand in hand with their man till the very end of this life...
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to island_chick For This Useful Post:
azlightsout (05-04-2018), cherriebomb (12-14-2017), midnightgirl74 (09-05-2016), smiles844 (11-13-2017)
  #8  
Old 04-29-2015, 03:53 PM
Ross811's Avatar
Ross811 Ross811 is offline
Us Against the World
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Panama City Beach, FL
Posts: 973
Thanks: 28
Thanked 93 Times in 58 Posts
Default

One day at a time... That's the best way I can put it. Everyone else has given you some really great advise. We are all family and here if you need us.
__________________
"JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN DEALT A DIFFICULT HAND, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU DONT HAVE THE ABILITY TO OVERCOME IT."
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-29-2015, 05:19 PM
Critter07's Avatar
Critter07 Critter07 is offline
We live...we learn...
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: God's Country, TN
Posts: 2,385
Thanks: 7,483
Thanked 3,008 Times in 1,338 Posts
Default

.....
__________________







Last edited by Critter07; 04-29-2015 at 05:24 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-30-2015, 05:29 PM
reyes07087 reyes07087 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA NJ
Posts: 57
Thanks: 0
Thanked 35 Times in 19 Posts
Default Im too am in love with a lifer

I don't know what to do about my relationship with my lifer. I write to him every chance I get. Yet i'm involved with someone else. But I cannot stop writing to him. I believe that we have a great connection. I'm standing next to him through bad and good. He is trying to have his case heard he has been in jail for 35 years now they are looking on his case. I cannot stop writing I have feelings for him. I don't know how he feels about me but we have corresponding for awhile now. He remembered my birthday and he sends me sweet letters and keeps it real for me. What to do.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-03-2015, 11:40 PM
Kbsles Kbsles is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,699
Thanks: 67
Thanked 55 Times in 18 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalBeachGirl View Post
I know this is off subject...but do any of you here have experience with offering the right kind of guidance to your lifer who may get parole?

My friend has the possibility of parole. He has been up for 35 years and has been turned down three times. His next review is in 2017. I think they want more admission from him about his crime. But legally they can't hold that against someone if they don't want to discuss the crime. But we all know they can. They say they want to see "insight"

I think he is too stubborn for his own good. He seems to think they won't tell him what he needs to work on. I suspect he has more of an in prison record than he has told me, but not sure.

Is his parole rejection a public record? I have seen the last one on Legal Eagle because of an appeal he filed. But I have not see the others. The commissioner at the last one said he "looking good" and is "a wait and see kind of guy". He is active in committees etc and not gang involved, no drugs etc. At least he says....

Is there a forum here for helping a lifer with his in prison attitude etc?e or time leading up to hearing? Do inmates who file writs and appeals get black listed? Thanks!
We are not in California, however after reading several stories on this forum of lifers in California being released I would encourage your lifer to do what ever it is they ask and/or expect of him in order to get paroled. California DOES parole lifers and there are not many states that do.

Has he completed the programs offered to him? Does he stay busy with something productive? If he shows himself to be a model inmate he might get help from staff, such as letters of support if they are allowed to do such things.

He is going to need all the help he can get to make parole, all the favorable reviews he can. He cannot afford to have "an attitude". This is their game, played their way.

We are in a state in the middle of the bible belt that seldom paroles lifers. My guy has been in for over 37 years, been up for parole multiple times since 1991, been approved over 9 times by the board but we can't get past the governor. The last time which was last year we were approved again, but this time the entire parole board got fired, we had to go up again before a brand new board made up entirely of ex-law enforcement or ex-prosecutors and ex-judges. You can imagine how well that went. Things are looking very bleak here for any violent offenders. We have a ton of support too, but it did us no good.

I say that to say this, California is not Oklahoma. They seem to be paroling more and more lifers, while overcrowding is bad here, it is insane there. So he needs to get his attitude in check and concentrate on making himself look as parole worthy as possible. He needs to look like a "model inmate".
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-04-2015, 04:13 AM
maniacswifey619 maniacswifey619 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,233
Thanks: 16
Thanked 741 Times in 443 Posts
Default

OK so its been 4 years 9 months. This journey so far hasn't been easy at all. Many ups and downs. Not too many disagreements along the way. Many happy times. Tons of phone calls, some visits, moderate amount of letters. All of which I cherish. Even the horrible and lonely times. All of him worth the wait. Will he ever come home? Only GOD knows that. We shall see. I trust my faith. Its a difficult road to travel on
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to maniacswifey619 For This Useful Post:
Mrs.Parker<3 (06-05-2018)
  #13  
Old 08-27-2016, 10:08 PM
Tattz Tattz is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: california usa
Posts: 31
Thanks: 0
Thanked 48 Times in 7 Posts
Default

I have to tell you its been one of the most complicated and REWARDING relationships ive ever had. weve been together 10yrs ...... 8 yrs married ..... hes been released after doing 26 yrs ....... since hes been out everything seems kinda surreal ina good way. Looking back i ask myself how did i do it ? I kept myself as busy as I could but he was always my main focus .... the more time I spent with him the more inlove I was which in turn made me realize I couldnt picture myself with anyone else . The more committed I became the more determined I was to stay with him . Doing time with a man theres nothing easy about it . But like I said it is one of the most rewarding relationships I could have ever hoped for .
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tattz For This Useful Post:
Darlazs (08-31-2016), Mrs.Parker<3 (06-05-2018)
  #14  
Old 08-28-2016, 03:17 AM
vaughan70 vaughan70 is offline
firstlove30years
 

Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: California
Posts: 3
Thanks: 3
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default follow your gut

loving a lifer. i never thought i would admit it to myself and never to him. i dated him in high school and i dumped him when i had some family issues i didn't want him involved with. i went to foster care in another town, when i returned he was in love with someone else. he told me to forget him.
i saw him at a party one night soon after, i was with a guy from out of town. everyone was real drunk but when he saw me with another man i could tell he was raging mad so i left. later than nite he raped and beat his neighbor in a drunken rage. i always thought i should've been his victim that night. he got life.
for thirty years i tried my hardest to forget him. i met a man from a nearby town and tried to forget the lifer by moving on with my life. one day i melted down and wrote him a letter, i was sorry i left that party, i was sorry i didn't go back for him that night, i was sorry i didn't write him for 30 years and that i could never forget him.
it wasn't easy to admit my love for him, especially after so long but honestly it felt like my heart was a pin cushion completely full with needles until i got his first letter in the mail, then a phone call, then an o'mail soon my heart began to heal. his mom and the woman he's in love with visit a few times a year. that was last year, i visited him four months straight, each time staying four days sometimes longer. i'm in caly he's in iowa. i haven't been able to see him this year but i'm planning on visiting in october for his 50th bday since i know he'll be alone.
i still love him, he still loves her. our real saving grace was the fact we never had sex. we are just friends but he knows how much i love him, because i tell him every chance i get. he says he can't give me anything more than friendship and i'm not asking for anything more than that. he says he'll never get out but i believe he will. when he does i'll lend him all the support he will accept, i want nothing in return.
about three days into our first visit we figured out that he is my husband's cousin, a few minutes after we figured it out i needed a walk so we went to the vending machines for a coke. when we sat down the coke label read, have a coke with Tracy. guess what my name is? god has a plan, never doubt that.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to vaughan70 For This Useful Post:
cherriebomb (12-14-2017)
  #15  
Old 11-10-2017, 04:02 AM
Fredslady5 Fredslady5 is offline
Account Closed
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Illinois
Posts: 168
Thanks: 0
Thanked 137 Times in 72 Posts
Default

Could never do it, I love me more and life does go on we have to be careful of the choices we make in life.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-10-2017, 07:09 AM
Kirin's Avatar
Kirin Kirin is offline
Coopers disciple
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Germany
Posts: 280
Thanks: 10
Thanked 150 Times in 94 Posts
Default

I thought long and hard about what I love and need, and the result is, I love and need him more than anything else. So he remains my no.1 priority and I'll do anything to cheer him up.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kirin For This Useful Post:
blondrollergirl (02-20-2018), Mrs.Parker<3 (06-05-2018), Najeli (02-21-2018)
  #17  
Old 02-20-2018, 11:21 AM
blondrollergirl's Avatar
blondrollergirl blondrollergirl is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: california, USA
Posts: 59
Thanks: 145
Thanked 21 Times in 16 Posts
Default so cal beach girl- options for you

Hello- SoCalBeachGirl,

I have some similar challenges so will send you a PM.

Yes you can ask/email a request for transcripts as well. https://www.cdcr.ca.gov/BOPH/psh_transcript.html

Its tough when it seems that the cards are stacked against you. I am happy to share what tips etc. I have been able to come up with.

Best regards
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-05-2018, 06:02 PM
Mrs.Parker<3 Mrs.Parker<3 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: northern cali
Posts: 11
Thanks: 50
Thanked 15 Times in 9 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by maniacswifey619 View Post
Goodness being in a relationship with a lifer is one of the most difficult things I've ever chosen to do. There are a lot of ups and downs. A lot of mood swings and a lot of worrisome times. When I started this journey I was so sure that I could and would be able to trek along with him
But it gets harder and harder every day and sometimes the pain I feel without him is so unbearable. Sometimes I just want to scream out loud from the frustration of it all but then I think to myself and remind myself that I chose this life. I chose to love a man who is incarcerated and sentenced to 15-life with parole. My choice. And I just take it one day at a time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by island_chick View Post
I can honestly say this is nothing I have planned out to do with my life..lol..My man and I were childhood friends and I've always had this deep bond with him....26 years later I just so happen to bump into him again....And he just hits the spot in every which way..This is my soulmate and WE were destined to be with one another...And I think when something is DESTINED you will supernaturaly endure the storm with a smile and a willing heart...That's my take on all of this...I feel complete with him that all this behind the bars stuff don't faze me one bit...I feel like what I went through in life the ups and the downs has prepared me for this life with a man that may never be free for the rest of his life...I may not have the white picket fence dream every girl dreams of..But this is my reality that I embrace with all that I am...I now look foward to phone calls and letters and visits..Diffrent from ur normal relationship..But as God spoke to my heart and said 'Who is going to love the lifer?' Not everyone can do this but some woman I feel...God has fully equiped to have the ability to walk hand in hand with their man till the very end of this life...
omg!! thank you so much for this reply. i needed to hear everything you just said !!!!! maybe i can do this an live this life with my lifer afterall
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mrs.Parker<3 For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (06-06-2018)
  #19  
Old 06-05-2018, 06:28 PM
Mrs.Parker<3 Mrs.Parker<3 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: northern cali
Posts: 11
Thanks: 50
Thanked 15 Times in 9 Posts
Default

hey all!
even though my man was jus recently sentenced to 50-life i still wanted to write about how i handle being in a relationship with my LO. i knew him before he was incarcerated. we met at heald career college when we were teens... me in dental assisting and him in business. we were together for about 5 years on and off and that was honestly the happiest time of my life. so one of the things we do a lot on the phone is reminisce about all the good/ funny/ crazy/ times we had when we were together before he got locked up.. he is the one that will bring up our funny memories mostly to cheer me up when im down or am just missing him too much..and thinking and talking about the old times definitely helps! another thing we do ( we used to do this b4 we found out he lost trial..we havent since just because everything is too new right now an i think it would be painful for him) is talk about all the things were going to do when he comes home. from the restaurants i want to take him to , to all the oakland raiders and golden state warrior games we are going to go to..that gave us hope and put us both in a good mood. as long as i get to talk to my man an write letters an visit, things dont seem that bad...its when my money runs low and i cant keep money on the phone or im not able to travel to see him for months at a time is when me handling being with my lifer gets the best of me. even though it looks as though he may be there for a very long time i jus try my best to stay positive for him an find the good in all this.. right now we are both excited for him to be transferred to prison so we can FINALLY have contact visits!!!!!!!!! we cannot wait to touch!!! i havent touched this man in over 2 years!!!!!
i cant take all the credit for us making it these 2 years though...its mostly thanks to my man! he has been there for me through all this an supported whatever way i was feeling. when i was inconsolable because i found out about him loosing trial he somehow was able to calm me down an make me believe somehow it would be okay!!! i love my man for his strength!!! he makes me strong.. its because of him i can make it through everyday.he makes it easy to handle being in a relationship with him my lifer!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mrs.Parker<3 For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (06-06-2018)
  #20  
Old 06-06-2018, 05:28 AM
Skeesgirl's Avatar
Skeesgirl Skeesgirl is offline
HisWifey4life
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Sacramento CA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 1
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

my hubby and i had dated before he went in but had not seen each other just before he was arrested then like a year later we ended up writing each other and did for about 6 yrs my oldest son passed away and i stopped all contact with most everyone but my hubby NEVER let go or gave up on me and continued to write and try calling we ended up back talking and writing and from the 1st day i laid eyes on him he has had my heart and thru everything over the past 12 years i am the happiest and life is easier with him in it when he's not its so different i think when it's real it's real whether it's long distance or life in prison u make it work or at least we do i don't see myself without him EVER.. with all the changes in the laws he has action at getting out but if he does or not will never change us being together or not.. he is my heart , forever my always #luvnmyhubby
__________________
HisWifey4Lifey
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-06-2018, 05:34 AM
Skeesgirl's Avatar
Skeesgirl Skeesgirl is offline
HisWifey4life
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Sacramento CA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 1
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by island_chick View Post
I can honestly say this is nothing I have planned out to do with my life..lol..My man and I were childhood friends and I've always had this deep bond with him....26 years later I just so happen to bump into him again....And he just hits the spot in every which way..This is my soulmate and WE were destined to be with one another...And I think when something is DESTINED you will supernaturaly endure the storm with a smile and a willing heart...That's my take on all of this...I feel complete with him that all this behind the bars stuff don't faze me one bit...I feel like what I went through in life the ups and the downs has prepared me for this life with a man that may never be free for the rest of his life...I may not have the white picket fence dream every girl dreams of..But this is my reality that I embrace with all that I am...I now look foward to phone calls and letters and visits..Diffrent from ur normal relationship..But as God spoke to my heart and said 'Who is going to love the lifer?' Not everyone can do this but some woman I feel...God has fully equiped to have the ability to walk hand in hand with their man till the very end of this life...
wow you have said that perfectly i feel so close to what u have described it's unbelievable my lifer is without a doubt my soulmate we have such an incredible relationship that i wouldn't change it for anything thanks for sharing it's nice knowing there's others that feel and understand the same
__________________
HisWifey4Lifey
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-06-2018, 05:45 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,476
Thanks: 3,190
Thanked 3,651 Times in 1,578 Posts
Default

My boyfriend is a lifer but already in prison for 24+ years and the difference compared to most of you is that I've only entered his life 3+ years ago and only as pen-pals. No intentions to be in a relationship with him but things changed of the course of those 3+ years. I believe he only decided to "make me his girlfriend" when he found out that release is happening, not today but soon... or sooner than he thought/expected. I believe he let loose and allowed feelings again... so I might be one of the lucky ones seeing a lifer (with two consecutive life sentences) to go free at some point before I turn 60
And in the meantime: one day at a time. I'm not that young anymore and had the marriage thing and I'm in a good place in my life. So happy to spend my time with him and see what'll happen.

To the rest of you: good luck, lots of patience and perseverance... I seriously don't know if I could do with this kind of outlook...
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (06-07-2018)
  #23  
Old 06-06-2018, 07:18 PM
PDGreene PDGreene is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 121
Thanks: 15
Thanked 65 Times in 38 Posts
Default

To be honest its actually very hard. Me and my husband have been together for 4.5 years the prison let us finally marry in December last year. He has life with possible parole. To be completely blunt and honest at times I have my regrets and wish I had never gotten it started. Other times I feel like I can't live without him. Lately it seems all he wants is money. Both my parents are passing away and I'm taking care of them alone. He is locked up and he just seems so cold about it. I don't know.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to PDGreene For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (06-07-2018)
  #24  
Old 06-07-2018, 09:28 AM
Sarianna's Avatar
Sarianna Sarianna is offline
Midnight Sun Moderator

PTO Site Moderator 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Swinging from the chandelier
Posts: 2,560
Thanks: 13,105
Thanked 3,255 Times in 1,498 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PDGreene View Post
To be honest its actually very hard. Me and my husband have been together for 4.5 years the prison let us finally marry in December last year. He has life with possible parole. To be completely blunt and honest at times I have my regrets and wish I had never gotten it started. Other times I feel like I can't live without him. Lately it seems all he wants is money. Both my parents are passing away and I'm taking care of them alone. He is locked up and he just seems so cold about it. I don't know.
I am sorry you are going through this - losing your parents is tough at any age and you taking care of them yourself...your husband should definitely be less selfish and more supportive. Have you spoke to him about this? Sending you strength...but remember, sweetie, that you do not to be strong for everyone - take care of yourself in the midst of all this, please.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How do you handle being with a lifer? meximami707 Loving a Lifer 35 03-22-2013 09:43 PM
I can handle this MWI relationship because... Wobabi Met While Incarcerated 56 04-05-2010 12:49 AM
How does your Lifer handle the holidays? StormChild Loving a Lifer 13 12-16-2009 03:41 PM
Being with a lifer, how do you handle temptation? outinaussie Loving a Lifer 35 12-03-2009 10:32 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:33 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics