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  #51  
Old 11-08-2017, 08:08 PM
NewtothisamIcra NewtothisamIcra is offline
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Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
Don't be sorry. I'm not arguing with anyone. I just cant imagine bringing myself into this life with millions of men in the real world for the picking. There are plenty of people to write that are not in prison for life. Think about it

I truly see your point and genuinely thank you for the advice!
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  #52  
Old 11-08-2017, 08:46 PM
Minor activist Minor activist is online now
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Here's another angle. Would you be good for the inmate?

We're talking about a human being who's got several serious problems already. It could be good for him to have someone to talk with about religion or books or any common interest. But dealing with an obsessive person might simply make his life worse.
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  #53  
Old 11-09-2017, 12:31 AM
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InLuvWithALifer InLuvWithALifer is offline
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I never wrote an inmate before and thought anyone who did it was nuts and most likely was a loser who couldn't get a man on the outside. I was wrong. I wrote two inmates and sent their letters on the same day. B wrote back first and it was so... natural with him. My words came easy and my interest was genuine. I knew about his crime (murder) as his case, when it occurred, was a nationwide news story. We have never really even discussed his case because it doesn't matter, who he is now and to me matters. He was in already over 20 years before I wrote. I found my best friend in a man others would call a monster. But I've learned just how off base they all are. Yes, his crime is , for the most part unthinkable. However, if you can see his case in its totality you could see how it ended up happening. No one who has not loved a reformed man/woman deeply could ever truly understand how I feel, that is why I feel so blessed to have found this site.

As for the other man I wrote, I like him a lot but his case is not as cut and dry as B's. He doesn't scare me either but I'm not sure ill ever fully trust him, but I enjoy our friendship and our common interests.
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  #54  
Old 11-09-2017, 04:05 AM
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MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
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Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
And?? And you can disagree all you want. I still find it absolutely crazy. And its nothing compared to being ina relationship before someone goes to prison. It's nothing like it lol
You are absolutely right! It is crazy!
I wish I had know Jeffrey before he went in but it so happenes I found him on a pen-pal site with no intentions of starting/creating a relationship whatsoever.
But here we are, almost 3 years later, so we'll make the best of it.
And as I answered to another thread on here if I'd do MWI again I'm still saying NO. It's not for the faint-hearted and I would never do it again. Nor would I marry him while he's still in prison nor am I packing my stuff to move over there.
I trust him & I love him but after being incarcerated for 24 years it'll be a "shock" for him to come home and I'll be there all right but not sitting on my packed boxes and waiting to walk hand-in-hand into the rainbow.

As for the OP: I find your "obsession" a bit over the top... Being "intrigued" is one thing but you are way overthinking him sitting on death row... he's there for a reason and not for picking flowers off the wrong field... Try to clear your mind and step back a bit.
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by NewtothisamIcra View Post
Ugh this is me. I absolutely can't stop thinking about him, reading about him. I don't know or can't explain the obsession with it. I feel like a crazy person, having day dreams of what the conversations would be. This man committed a horrible crime, while no I know it's not going to be a romantic relationship it's intriguing to me to say the least. I would use my home address but having a daughter at home that can read makes me hesitate.

My biggest fear is rejection honestly. What if he doesn't write back?
Everything you wrote I wrote in another thread a few weeks ago. I felt exactly how you feel. Never intended to write an inmate, couldnít understand the obsession, horrible crime, feelings of writing being crazy etc. Hey, forget about rejection....if you truly want to write do it! I too wondered if I would get a reply, I did get one and itís been great so far. I used my home address and am a single father with a 15yr old daughter but she doesnít have a key to my mail box....so Iím good there. LoL. She did catch me writing letters and asked how Iím writing too because sheís never seen me write a letter.

Good luck to you!!! Write that letter and send it.
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