Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Domestic Violence
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Domestic Violence News and information relating to domestic violence in general. Please post here if you don't see a sub-forums that fits better.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 09-04-2017, 06:28 PM
Marseille's Avatar
Marseille Marseille is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,348
Thanks: 598
Thanked 2,168 Times in 751 Posts
Default

Look up how many of those deaths were at the hands of abusers who choked their victims. Chokers are 10 times more likely to kill their victims. There's a checklist to ID victims most likely to be killed by their abusers. There's 16 questions. Answering any of the first 3, OR at least 4 of the other 13 puts you at the highest risk of being killed. Just using what the OP has told us (which is likely nowhere near the whole story), she's got 1 of the top three and at least 8 of the others. She is in critical danger from this man.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Marseille For This Useful Post:
Minor activist (09-04-2017), safran (09-04-2017)
Sponsored Links
  #102  
Old 09-04-2017, 07:02 PM
safran's Avatar
safran safran is offline
Owned
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Azkaban
Posts: 2,877
Thanks: 762
Thanked 3,402 Times in 1,594 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marseille View Post
Look up how many of those deaths were at the hands of abusers who choked their victims. Chokers are 10 times more likely to kill their victims. There's a checklist to ID victims most likely to be killed by their abusers. There's 16 questions. Answering any of the first 3, OR at least 4 of the other 13 puts you at the highest risk of being killed. Just using what the OP has told us (which is likely nowhere near the whole story), she's got 1 of the top three and at least 8 of the others. She is in critical danger from this man.
And these points are what caused me to take such a firm stance against this relationship.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to safran For This Useful Post:
AndyS (09-05-2017), MizzyMuffling (09-05-2017), xolady (09-25-2017)
  #103  
Old 09-05-2017, 08:48 AM
yourself yourself is offline
attorney
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: around
Posts: 11,388
Thanks: 3,990
Thanked 19,695 Times in 7,096 Posts
Default

874,000 and 2374 and you're alleging that second number is .2% of that first number.

Let's do some math (and I'm a lawyer, I really hate math)

10% of 874,000 slips that decimal point to the left one place to 87,400
1% of 87,400 slips that decimal to the left one place to 8,740
.1% of 8,740 slips that decimal to the left one spot to 874

Wow, 874 looks really small in comparison to 2,374
Well, perhaps if we double our 874, we'll get 2,374; let's try
Mmm, no, double 874 seems to be, and I'm doing this in my head because I'm lazy, 1758

Somebody's been practicing weird math.

And before we get into more math, let's consider some more statistics, like the one that says that the presence of a gun in the house increases the chances of a domestic violence fatality 500%. Thank god there aren't more guns in the houses of abusers even if those guns are removed by court order when there's a DV complaint, eh?

http://ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics

And then ask yourself - would you get on a ride at a fairground that was guaranteed to kill .3 percent of its riders?

Would you get on a highway guaranteed to kill .3 percent of its drivers?

Would you go into a swimming pool guaranteed to drown .3 percent of its swimmers

(And yes, I'm using .3 because it's closer to the statistic you're citing. A lot closer)

Last edited by yourself; 09-05-2017 at 08:53 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to yourself For This Useful Post:
AndyS (09-06-2017), Critter07 (09-28-2017), Hurley123 (09-25-2017), miamac (09-05-2017), missingdee (09-06-2017), MizzyMuffling (09-05-2017), nimuay (09-05-2017), WeepingWillow (09-28-2017)
  #104  
Old 09-06-2017, 02:03 AM
missingdee's Avatar
missingdee missingdee is offline
She's Home! Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Metro Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 2,602
Thanks: 2,849
Thanked 3,753 Times in 1,607 Posts
Default Update: I've decided to give us another chance and stick it out with him

Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself View Post
874,000 and 2374 and you're alleging that second number is .2% of that first number.

Let's do some math (and I'm a lawyer, I really hate math)

10% of 874,000 slips that decimal point to the left one place to 87,400
1% of 87,400 slips that decimal to the left one place to 8,740
.1% of 8,740 slips that decimal to the left one spot to 874

Wow, 874 looks really small in comparison to 2,374
Well, perhaps if we double our 874, we'll get 2,374; let's try
Mmm, no, double 874 seems to be, and I'm doing this in my head because I'm lazy, 1758

Somebody's been practicing weird math.

And before we get into more math, let's consider some more statistics, like the one that says that the presence of a gun in the house increases the chances of a domestic violence fatality 500%. Thank god there aren't more guns in the houses of abusers even if those guns are removed by court order when there's a DV complaint, eh?

http://ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics

And then ask yourself - would you get on a ride at a fairground that was guaranteed to kill .3 percent of its riders?

Would you get on a highway guaranteed to kill .3 percent of its drivers?

Would you go into a swimming pool guaranteed to drown .3 percent of its swimmers

(And yes, I'm using .3 because it's closer to the statistic you're citing. A lot closer)


And again, regardless of the total compared to the times reported....how many of those reports are made by a woman filing multiple reports against the same man? Or even the same woman filing multiple complaints against multiple men?

To me it would seem like when you throw that factor in, the percentage goes up.

Then of course there's the assaults that never get reported....and the women who die due to domestic abusers where the deaths are attributed to something else....there's a lot to consider.

How many women die from illness or injury because their abuser won't allow them to seek treatment where their deaths are not attributed to domestic abuse?

How many women in domestic abuse situations die from drug overdoses where their drug addiction either came about or became worse because of stresses in the relationship they had with their partner?

How many women in domestic abuse situations die as the result of a suicide attempt that occurred, at least to some extent, because of the abuse? I know Dee dealt with domestic abuse and had multiple suicide attempts and frequent suicidal ideation a as a result of the mental/emotional toll it took on her when combined with her mental illness issues....and as much as I have been praised by people for being in her life, I feel guilty at times because I know that me being in her life didn't stop those feelings. She wound up on suicide watch several times throughout her term and had at least two attempts that I would consider "serious" before she was locked up after I met her. And it wasn't attention-seeking. Dee never told me she felt like killing herself. She'd break down and tell me about it afterward. It really has only been in the last couple of years that she has started to deal with and process those emotions and make an effort to get healthy, but if she had succeeded, would you have even thought to include her in your domestic abuse statistics? (I don't mean you specifically, yourself, more the proverbial "you" to reflect on anyone who may read this.)

I think when you consider all this, and consider that relational abuse isn't limited to a man hitting a woman or even to any act of physical violence, that it's about control and manipulation in any form.....that death rate starts to really go up.
__________________
The Colorblind Moderator (I'm not even going to try to use green down here, I'll embarass myself! LOL!) Currently assisting in all forums and actively monitoring Wives and Girlfriends in Prison and the California forums.

#ByeCDCR #TimesUp #HomeForChristmas

Last edited by missingdee; 09-06-2017 at 02:09 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to missingdee For This Useful Post:
AndyS (09-06-2017), xolady (09-25-2017)
  #105  
Old 09-06-2017, 08:52 AM
AndyS AndyS is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas US
Posts: 946
Thanks: 1,065
Thanked 1,631 Times in 616 Posts
Default

I don't think anyone should be using murder rate statistics to decide whether or not to go back to your abuser.
__________________
A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to AndyS For This Useful Post:
Cutepixie (09-28-2017), miamac (09-25-2017), missingdee (09-06-2017), Texasflower08 (09-25-2017)
  #106  
Old 09-25-2017, 01:54 AM
Fredslady5 Fredslady5 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Illinois
Posts: 64
Thanks: 0
Thanked 16 Times in 12 Posts
Default

Some Men are professional con artist and smooth talkers, be careful and sleep with one eye open, you dont wanna be a statistic. Love is not being used as a punching bag!!
Reply With Quote
  #107  
Old 09-28-2017, 08:02 AM
Cutepixie's Avatar
Cutepixie Cutepixie is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,431
Thanks: 2,158
Thanked 1,810 Times in 913 Posts
Default

I agree it is completely irresponsible to share that someone's chances of dying are slim and encourage them to go back until they have a case of the "fuck its". That's a problem. If you have a problem you don't sit in it until you say screw this problem. You find solutions to your problem. You have no idea the risk you take with a person who's willing to physically harm you or doesn't value you or your life. You have no idea when they will take it to that next level. DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHANCES. There's got to be better options and one of them is loving yourself enough to say that you won't tolerate abuse.
__________________
“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.” ~William Blake
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cutepixie For This Useful Post:
maytayah (09-28-2017), WeepingWillow (09-28-2017)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do I give him another chance? HisTrigger Now That Your Loved One Is Home... 13 09-01-2012 02:01 PM
Should I give him a second chance? jwife05 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 5 04-24-2012 11:17 PM
We've decided to give it one more chance Kayla28 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 9 07-22-2011 11:15 PM
Should I end it or give him one more chance? Boobi's Fiance Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 4 09-04-2010 06:29 PM
Update and more crap from CO Stick Up His Butt Kyle's Gurl Michigan Prison Visitation, Phones, Packages & Mail 39 03-24-2009 06:52 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:30 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics