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The War on Drugs - and the results of it A war against drugs, or against families?

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  #1  
Old 08-12-2016, 11:29 PM
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Question Trying to understand this, her family turned her in...

I have a friend that got hemmed up. And I am new to all this and I don't know what to expect and not to expect. She is just a friend who because of her choices her family has turned in her. And I'm just trying to be as supportive as I can. I'm looking for any advice and one can give me and "friends" to talk to. Ones that can help me through all this.
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Old 08-13-2016, 09:51 AM
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I'm sure her family struggled with your friend's issue and the decision to turn her in may have been necessary for many reason's. Depending on her addiction of choice (I'm assuming its an addiction issue) death may have been imminent. And/or perhaps they were tired of her stealing, lying and manipulating them All those things are standard operation for addicts.

I can truly empathize. Its extremely difficult to wait for the call or knock at the door to tell you that someone you love has died due their addiction (overdose or drug deal gone bad etc).....and what makes it even harder is when you realize it could be any day, any minute, any second....
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Old 08-15-2016, 08:58 AM
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When a trip to prison has to do with drug usage it is good to keep things in perspective. Prison is saving your life, it's not destroying it.
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Old 08-15-2016, 10:46 AM
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I agree that maybe her family it was the last resort to save her life. Drastic situations require drastic actions and as much as it must have been painful maybe it was the only way they could help her.
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Old 10-11-2016, 10:16 PM
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>I'm just trying to be as supportive as I can. I'm looking for any advice

Visit! You don't know how much it will mean to her, because unless you've been on the inside you can't understand how much it means.

Write and call too of course.

For the people who've been through this, a question: should the OP consider putting money on her friend's account? If the friend is an addict, then giving her money is the same as giving her drugs. On the other hand she's going to need stamps and hygiene supplies.

More advice? Take care of yourself. I've had a friend in trouble and it's scary and disturbing and it's hard to control your reactions. A nervous wreck can't help anyone else, though.

"Help" doesn't mean "rescue". The best advice I've seen about people with drug problems is "Don't jump into the water and try to save an anchor from drowning".
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Old 10-11-2016, 10:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minor activist View Post
[...]More advice? Take care of yourself. I've had a friend in trouble and it's scary and disturbing and it's hard to control your reactions. A nervous wreck can't help anyone else, though.[...]
Very good point. I had a friend who battles meth addiction. She lost her ability to make good decisions for her and her very young son. She starting lying to me and I was nervous having her in my home, but I was her friend and I didn't know how to help. Then she pulled a pipe out of her purse and lit up while her two year old bounced on the couch next to her and in front of me. I couldn't do it anymore. It tore me up, but I called her mother and told her what had happened and where to look in her purse for the stuff. I felt guilty and like I had betrayed our friendship, but truly I was trying to help her and her baby.

That friend never judged me for calling her mom. It gave her some stability to know I wasn't holding her choice over her head and that I could listen without drama. She also knew that I would hold her accountable and I think she appreciated that.
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Old 10-12-2016, 12:07 AM
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I just got a reminder in PM that you should ask first about visits. There's more than one person out there who has hated getting visitors.
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Old 10-22-2016, 10:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Firebrand View Post
When a trip to prison has to do with drug usage it is good to keep things in perspective. Prison is saving your life, it's not destroying it.
This is more true than I care to admit. My son never went to prison, but even so I turned him in more times than I can count. As much as I hated my son being locked up, there were times it saved his life.
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