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  #76  
Old 01-06-2011, 12:40 PM
CC'sMom CC'sMom is offline
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This second guy whacked his new born on the back! My niece called saying, what should I do? She wanted to report it, but was afraid of WW3 breaking out since her guy said to keep out of it.[/quote]

This needs to be reported to CPS pronto!! Just shaking a baby can cause serious brain damage or death. This baby is at major risk of very serious injury or death. Reports to CPS can be anonymous. Besides, CPS does not reveal who made the report. Even if the baby is not removed from the home, the abuser might master some restrain because he now knows he is being watched, so to speak. NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW WHO CALLED.
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  #77  
Old 01-16-2011, 12:53 PM
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Thumbs up Excellent Read!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nimuay View Post
Anyone who has questions, large or small, about abuse should read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. It's the best thing I've read ever about DV, and if you need info, this is the A-one place to get to know that it is. Easy reading, clear as a bell. If you can't get it at the library, or can't afford to buy it, PM me with your address. I will buy it for you and send it along from Amazon. Please, don't feel you can't - I'm offering.

UPDATE: Despite the fact that this was originally posted in 2005, I just want you all to know it's still good now, and for as long as my account is open.
This is the first book that opened my eyes to what was in fact happening to me. May nimuay be blessed richly for her generous offer.
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  #78  
Old 05-30-2011, 06:14 AM
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i would love this book. and appreciate it . my daughter keeps saying mom he said he was sorry....honey no he isnt sorry.
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  #79  
Old 06-01-2011, 12:03 AM
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Nim I sent you a.Pms while back for the book. Didnt hear back frm ya
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  #80  
Old 06-17-2011, 10:12 AM
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I just ordered this book yesterday at the suggestion of Rox73 to help me understand what I've just gone through and am working to break away from.
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  #81  
Old 06-18-2011, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 24jf View Post
I just ordered this book yesterday at the suggestion of Rox73 to help me understand what I've just gone through and am working to break away from.
Absolutely! This book brought me so much insight, understanding and comfort, I used to actually take it into court with me like a bible and read it while I was waiting around for all the court proceedings. Each time I felt even a twinge of regret or sympathy for my abuser, I'd read a chapter and realize how I was being manipulated and controlled. It opened my eyes to what was really going on in my "relationship", almost word for word a textbook case of systematic brainwashing. I will always be thankful to Nim and the other PFO girls for pointing me in the right direction.
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  #82  
Old 06-18-2011, 01:15 PM
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yes yes the book was suggested in my dom viol group a few weeks back...going to pick it up today....can't wait to read it thanks for the offer---your a very giving person for offering to buy the book...what a sweetie!!!
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  #83  
Old 02-19-2012, 03:06 PM
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This book was recommended to me by someone I spoke with on a doomestic violence hotline. I wish they carried it in my local library!

I know this thread is old, but to the ladies who may be looking for books they want to share with their abuser, you may want to look into "My Darkest Hour: The Day I Realized I Was Abusive" by Harold L. Turley. I never sent a copy to my ex but I read it myself and it really hit home with me.
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  #84  
Old 05-05-2012, 12:54 AM
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Im really starting to think I need this book! I was in a 10 year relationship with my ex husband and father to my daughter. He broke me down in so many ways, mostly emotionally but some physical abuse was there. Three years ago I finally got the courage to leave this man but I still have to deal with it. He is still verbally abusive with me and I don't know what I should do? He is the father of my child so we will always be forced to talk. Since my divorce God has sent me a wonderful man. Thankfully my man treats me better than I've ever been treated and he has helped me see how wonderful I really am, but I can't help but to get really down after talking to my ex. I am know longer scared of my ex husband, because we don't spend anytime together alone, but his words still find a way of cutting me deep.
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  #85  
Old 06-09-2012, 06:42 PM
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Thanks so much for the recommendation. I have been in a couple of physically abusive relationships over the last 10 yrs and I look forward to reading this. I am going to try to find it now! You seem like a great, sweetheart-ed lady so I will take your recommendation any day!!
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  #86  
Old 07-11-2012, 09:24 AM
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.,...three letters...WOW!
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  #87  
Old 10-04-2012, 08:33 AM
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i was wondering if your offer is still open....could you please let me know. Thank you LJ
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  #88  
Old 11-25-2012, 08:07 PM
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We should have an on-line book discussion with this book. I would love to get other perspectives on it. Does PTO have this option somewhere? Can we do it here?
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  #89  
Old 01-23-2013, 09:39 PM
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I might be asking a really stupid question but I scammed over everything and can't seem to find it. Although this book may not apply to me since I'm abuser myself in a way I'm interested. How can I find it online?
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  #90  
Old 01-24-2013, 01:08 AM
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Amazon always as copies.
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  #91  
Old 06-12-2015, 08:04 AM
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Default Bancroft Book

OMgoodness! I totally agree with you! I checked out his book from the library 3 years ago (It was on the recommended book list from my local domestic violence center). I ended up paying the library the $26 becausI have highlighted the book to no ends and made notes to myself in the margins. It is my Bible. This book, and Mr. Bancroft himself, has made me realize that I was not losing my mind and it solidified all the things he was doing and saying. I was so happy, yet sad at the same time realizing that this was my husband, when I read this book. I think I have read it cover to cover at least 12 times. He comes to see the kids (we're still married). The book is always out. On the coffee table. Kitchen island. Kitchen table. In my car. I refer to it so much. At the same time, he has flipped through it, and makes his comments about it's presence, especially after he has read my notes in it. I so wish I had the nerve to mail it to my in-laws. They think I'm making everything up, brainwashing our kids (their grandchildren) and causing all this mess. They just don't get it. He does no wrong. QUOTE=nimuay;1066604]Anyone who has questions, large or small, about abuse should read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. It's the best thing I've read ever about DV, and if you need info, this is the A-one place to get to know that it is. Easy reading, clear as a bell. If you can't get it at the library, or can't afford to buy it, PM me with your address. I will buy it for you and send it along from Amazon. Please, don't feel you can't - I'm offering.

UPDATE: Despite the fact that this was originally posted in 2005, I just want you all to know it's still good now, and for as long as my account is open.[/quote]
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  #92  
Old 12-09-2015, 08:43 PM
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I agree, nimuay, it's wonderful of you to offer this. I read it in the past and also think it is an excellent book. It's a must-read for anyone who has been through abuse.

Just out of curiosity, about how many times have you been taken up on the offer to-date? I noted that it has been quite a while since you first made it.
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  #93  
Old 12-10-2015, 04:08 AM
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Fifty or sixty.
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