Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehabilitation
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehabilitation For those whose lives have been touched by addiction to drugs, alcohol or otherwise. For addicts and those who care about them.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Old 07-18-2015, 06:14 AM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is online now
Lil British Site Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 5,030
Thanks: 4,653
Thanked 6,426 Times in 2,926 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahas View Post
Would he just keep repeating this pattern, even if he meets someone new? I keep thinking some girl who comes along and is perfect for him will change him or something.
It may be the case that he will change if absolutely the perfect girl for him turns up. Some people don't commit because they are looking for their minds idea of perfection. Unfortunately this perfection rarely exists in reality.

Others don't commit as they enjoy the thrill and excitement of the initial getting to know you phase of the relationship. Once the stable day to day commitment kicks in they are bored and want to move on,

It is far more likely in your case that this mans inability to form lasting stable adult relationships is down to his upbringing and his reliance on alcohol.

You cant fix him and you cant make him settle down if he doesnt want to and isn't capable of doing so.

You are still very invested in this broken relationship and you need to get some support to let go and move on with your own life.
Analysing everything he has said and done and all that has been and could have been will not give you the answers you want.
The only way for you to get through this is get some support and help to stop pining for this man who cannot be what you want him to be.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to maytayah For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (07-18-2015)
Sponsored Links
  #27  
Old 07-18-2015, 10:46 AM
RBASa RBASa is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 448
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Default

Thank you, I posted this for support, which im getting. It helps, and there's always a comfort to hear other people's view as they are outsiders looking in. I thought it was me, that I did or didn't do something, I know he is very broken. I'm getting past it, but it takes me time. There's no contact and I'm moving forward with my life.

Last edited by RBASa; 07-18-2015 at 11:04 AM.. Reason: Wanted to add more
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 07-20-2015, 10:48 AM
sunflowers80 sunflowers80 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2015
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 4
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts
Default

Lots of great advice and support here. I hope that you are able to see the value in all of the experiences others have gone through. I think the main point is that no one wants to see you get hurt! I know it's hard when communication stops, that happened to me once with a guy I thought was pretty awesome. I still don't know what happened because I never heard from him again. But I let it go and knew that wasn't part of God's plan for my life. Now I am married to the man of my dreams, who always responds to my texts and calls. He treats me like a queen and still opens my car door for me 18 years later. Just know that the right person is out there - bless you!

mommato2lilmonkeys
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sunflowers80 For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (07-20-2015)
  #29  
Old 07-20-2015, 11:10 AM
RBASa RBASa is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 448
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
Default

Looking back I see the troubles and issues he has and it would have been lot to go through. Tons of good advice, thank you to everyone! I need to learn to not settle and put up with bad behavior. I kinda kept thinking that I would be different for him, I would be the one who changes him...not the case.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to RBASa For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (07-20-2015)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Just for fun,do you have an animal phobia?? BlueEyedEllie Pets & Animal Discussions 38 09-15-2010 08:31 PM
I have a fat phobia MommaBird22 Met While Incarcerated 68 07-10-2008 10:01 PM
What scares you or do you have a phobia of something Tracy68 PTO Lounge 28 09-05-2004 03:45 PM
Anybody got a funny phobia? NatureJunkee PTO Lounge 58 03-04-2004 05:50 PM
Freedom Phobia Kenneth Oneil - KO1 General Prison Talk 4 07-03-2003 09:06 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:15 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics